So I wanna talk about a couple anime for a second. It's relevant to your point, though.
In the anime Fairy Tail, a villainous character is introduced impaling one of our heroines to a tree. Later on, the villain turns good and the two of them become a couple.
In the anime My Hero Academia, one character has a backstory of physically and emotionally abusing his wife. He goes through a redemption arc as well but I don't see anyone clamoring for them to get back together.
My point is, while everything you listed from Reed or Tony is objectively worse than what Hank did, it doesn't feel as bad. What the guy in FT did is very "comic book-y" while what the guy did in MHA is very "real." Hank doing domestic abuse offends people because it's a very real thing, as opposed to making clones to murder people.
But yes, it's all about what the fans and editors want people to remember. Daken probably raped people. That's gonna be quietly shoved under the rug from here on out, even if he returns as a villain.