I'm pleased things didn't escalate, which is the reason why I like to go to the teacher. That kind of 'man-child looking to prove themselves to themselves and the rest of the world' is often unpredictable.
Printable View
I'm pleased things didn't escalate, which is the reason why I like to go to the teacher. That kind of 'man-child looking to prove themselves to themselves and the rest of the world' is often unpredictable.
[QUOTE=master of read;4838362]you know what? i'm gonna be real right now. just really real.
i'm tired. i am drained of all strength in my soul because **** has been hard for me the last few months.
my uncle died. he died suddenly and without warning. and my mom had to guilt trip my aunt to go spend some time with my other aunt to help her grieve.
i found out my aunt and cousin are scum bags and i have to pretend to be nice to them because that's what's expected of me.
my book, which i spent the better part of 3 years working on, hasn't sold a single copy in over 8 months, because people who said they'd read it haven't touched it because "they don't read books".
i got driven off twitter because i tried to do something nice for a friend of mine.
my teeth are so bad now, i wake up with a mouthfull of blood daily and spitting out pieces of teeth for god knows how long. but i can't get them fixed because we don't have the money.
none of my IRL friends have seen me in over a year because they are too busy with their own families to check how i'm doing.
in fact, one of my front teeth popped off as i was eating chicken and i damn near choked on it.
but i still check in with my best friend to see if he's doing ok because he's a recovering alchohalic and he's still dealing with what his ex's husband did to his kids. i'm literally having to keep him and a lot of other people up because i'm a nice guy and whatever problems i have are nothing compared to theirs.
and it seems like every time i open my eyes, i'm doing something to make something angry, like everything i do is a burden to someone else.
and today was just the cherry on top of this emotional sundae, i can't even do a little small thing to make myself the least bit happy.
so once again, i had to fight the overwhelming urge to walk into my mom's room, find her .45, go into the garage and end it all because i don't seem to matter anymore.
so that's the reason. when i say "i'm gone", i'm mean i'm staying off my computer and the internet because it's not helping. i'm going away from the forum for a while. not sure when i'll be back or even if i'll be back. i just know that i'm a wreck and i need to get back to my happiness.
once i hit post, i'm closing the messager, shutting off my computer, turning off the lights and probably cry myself to sleep because i'm so damn screwed up and i'm so damn tired.
good night.[/QUOTE]
MoR, I’m also going to be really real.
From everything I’ve ever know about you over many, many years, you’re a really great person. That’s for real. There’s a lot of great people here and, in my ever-increasing cynicism about the state of humanity, thats a rarity and one that I always find surprising and refreshing.
Whenever I’ve been in a dark place (and heaven knows there’s been a lot of those over the past couple of years) I’ve come to this place for sanctuary and support. And I’ve found it. In this weird, quirky, little place full of people arguing for the nth time about Thor’s speed or whether Goku is a universe-buster or (heaven forfend) whether Bane and Killer Croc together could beat Lizard in a fight, there is an incredible community of people who care about each other. I know that the messages of support and good wishes that I’ve had from the people here, including your good self, have been a blessing to me. You’ve given that support to others, so please know that we all reflect it right back at you.
Let it be a blessing to you too, and, if you need it to be, a literal lifesaver as well.
Please, please, please do not rob the world of the great person that you are.
Life has dealt you a shitty hand. There’s no question about that. But please do stay in the game. And if you need to lean on one or more of us to lend you the emotional ante to do so, then please... lean away, my friend. We got your stake covered.
Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, all it takes is the wrong thing said at the wrong time to completely kick your feet out from under you. But from what I know of the people here, nothing that may or may not have been said was intended with malice.
But it’s really, really difficult to read intent into written words. We lack the context of facial expression or tone of voice. Authors struggle with this all the time, so we shouldn’t be surprised that others who don’t earn their living from their skills as wordsmiths struggle likewise. It’s one of the many, many reasons why I hate social media - people there seem to have no filter and are often quite prepared to be rude and hurtful, but even when they’re not trying to be, it can still happen through a complete misunderstanding of intent.
Nevertheless, trust me when I say that you are loved here. If you need to come here to sound off at us, I’m sure I speak for most people when I say that we’re more than happy to be your sounding board and at least some of your support network.
I get that you’re hurting. I get that it feels like you’ve got nothing to live for. But you have. Don’t take Plan Z. It’s not a solution, and it will only cause more hurt. I’m very proud to say that my wife is a Samaritan - she’s had to emotionally hold people’s hands while they’ve gone through that process, and it’s always such a distressing waste. More often, she’s also been there to give someone the strength to change their own mind and go on. Some hills you can’t climb from starting halfway up, but you do need solid ground to push off from at the bottom.
I don’t know what the equivalent organisation to the Samaritans would be in your part of the world, but I’m certain there is one. Call them. Speak to someone, even if it’s just to take the raw edge off until you can get some more substantial help.
I will reiterate again that Plan Z is not a solution. I knew someone from my school (the cousin of a good friend) who, after we’d left, decided he couldn’t face any more but also couldn’t ask for help. He felt his only outlet was Plan Z, so he went to a petrol station, doused himself in petrol and set himself on fire. The last thing the horrified bystanders heard from him was “Oh God. What have I done?!”
Don’t be that person. Seek the help you need, and if we can be even a part of your climb back to a better place, we will all be delighted to do so. Because you matter to us, and to many other people in your life. Remember that.
That's better than anything anyone else has written here, Beadle. By far.
Well said.
[QUOTE=master of read;4838362]you know what? i'm gonna be real right now. just really real.
i'm tired. i am drained of all strength in my soul because **** has been hard for me the last few months.
my uncle died. he died suddenly and without warning. and my mom had to guilt trip my aunt to go spend some time with my other aunt to help her grieve.
i found out my aunt and cousin are scum bags and i have to pretend to be nice to them because that's what's expected of me.
my book, which i spent the better part of 3 years working on, hasn't sold a single copy in over 8 months, because people who said they'd read it haven't touched it because "they don't read books".
i got driven off twitter because i tried to do something nice for a friend of mine.
my teeth are so bad now, i wake up with a mouthfull of blood daily and spitting out pieces of teeth for god knows how long. but i can't get them fixed because we don't have the money.
none of my IRL friends have seen me in over a year because they are too busy with their own families to check how i'm doing.
in fact, one of my front teeth popped off as i was eating chicken and i damn near choked on it.
but i still check in with my best friend to see if he's doing ok because he's a recovering alchohalic and he's still dealing with what his ex's husband did to his kids. i'm literally having to keep him and a lot of other people up because i'm a nice guy and whatever problems i have are nothing compared to theirs.
and it seems like every time i open my eyes, i'm doing something to make something angry, like everything i do is a burden to someone else.
and today was just the cherry on top of this emotional sundae, i can't even do a little small thing to make myself the least bit happy.
so once again, i had to fight the overwhelming urge to walk into my mom's room, find her .45, go into the garage and end it all because i don't seem to matter anymore.
so that's the reason. when i say "i'm gone", i'm mean i'm staying off my computer and the internet because it's not helping. i'm going away from the forum for a while. not sure when i'll be back or even if i'll be back. i just know that i'm a wreck and i need to get back to my happiness.
once i hit post, i'm closing the messager, shutting off my computer, turning off the lights and probably cry myself to sleep because i'm so damn screwed up and i'm so damn tired.
good night.[/QUOTE]
Man... I wish you the best, and for the immediate future, please look out for number one, and lean on us if needed.
I hope MoR is going to be okay and I hope he comes back someday, when he's ready. I wish him well.
Damn, saw his post
Hope he gets through this
[QUOTE=master of read;4838362]you know what? i'm gonna be real right now. just really real.
i'm tired. i am drained of all strength in my soul because **** has been hard for me the last few months.
my uncle died. he died suddenly and without warning. and my mom had to guilt trip my aunt to go spend some time with my other aunt to help her grieve.
i found out my aunt and cousin are scum bags and i have to pretend to be nice to them because that's what's expected of me.
my book, which i spent the better part of 3 years working on, hasn't sold a single copy in over 8 months, because people who said they'd read it haven't touched it because "they don't read books".
i got driven off twitter because i tried to do something nice for a friend of mine.
my teeth are so bad now, i wake up with a mouthfull of blood daily and spitting out pieces of teeth for god knows how long. but i can't get them fixed because we don't have the money.
none of my IRL friends have seen me in over a year because they are too busy with their own families to check how i'm doing.
in fact, one of my front teeth popped off as i was eating chicken and i damn near choked on it.
but i still check in with my best friend to see if he's doing ok because he's a recovering alchohalic and he's still dealing with what his ex's husband did to his kids. i'm literally having to keep him and a lot of other people up because i'm a nice guy and whatever problems i have are nothing compared to theirs.
and it seems like every time i open my eyes, i'm doing something to make something angry, like everything i do is a burden to someone else.
and today was just the cherry on top of this emotional sundae, i can't even do a little small thing to make myself the least bit happy.
so once again, i had to fight the overwhelming urge to walk into my mom's room, find her .45, go into the garage and end it all because i don't seem to matter anymore.
so that's the reason. when i say "i'm gone", i'm mean i'm staying off my computer and the internet because it's not helping. i'm going away from the forum for a while. not sure when i'll be back or even if i'll be back. i just know that i'm a wreck and i need to get back to my happiness.
once i hit post, i'm closing the messager, shutting off my computer, turning off the lights and probably cry myself to sleep because i'm so damn screwed up and i'm so damn tired.
good night.[/QUOTE]
Wow I hope you be okay Read.
Damn sinus infection.
Take care, MoR. No matter what, please remember that we’re here to talk to or simply listen if you need us.
Man, Capcom just out here making bizarre PR moves.
The Power Rangers Comic just recently revealed what exactly happened to Rita in her dumpster. Suffice to say, dark AF sums it up.
[spoil]
Rita was forced to live through the lives of her numerous victims while in the dumpster. She would live a love-filled life only for her own self to attack the planet she was on, kill her and then repeat the process. And Rita, as it turns out, has over four million victims to her name and went through this process for 10,000 years while an AI governed the whole thing. Finster, Squatt, Babboo and Goldar each went through their own 're-educations' but Rita's is what stuck out to me.
Like, Jesus, Zordon what the s-t?
[/spoil]
Superman smashes the Clan is so good
[QUOTE=Nik Hasta;4842030]Man, Capcom just out here making bizarre PR moves.[/QUOTE]
what they do?
[QUOTE=Guy1;4843465]The Power Rangers Comic just recently revealed what exactly happened to Rita in her dumpster. Suffice to say, dark AF sums it up.
[spoil]
Rita was forced to live through the lives of her numerous victims while in the dumpster. She would live a love-filled life only for her own self to attack the planet she was on, kill her and then repeat the process. And Rita, as it turns out, has over four million victims to her name and went through this process for 10,000 years while an AI governed the whole thing. Finster, Squatt, Babboo and Goldar each went through their own 're-educations' but Rita's is what stuck out to me.
Like, Jesus, Zordon what the s-t?
[/spoil][/QUOTE]
I mean, [spoil]if she's really got 4 million victims to her name and if displayed the same general glee as she usually does whenever she doesn anything evil then I'd say she's kinda earned it.
Obviously it wasn't effective at all in re-educating her. But still. 4 million is a lot of lives.[/spoil]
[video=youtube;ezHmHHt0B78]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezHmHHt0B78[/video]
Looking good as all damn.
I mean, if the spoilers I've heard about the ending are ture I'm a little less interested than I usually would be. Oh well, the movie is only canon to the anime anyway.
And again, it does look fun. Also, Johnny Yong Bosch!
[QUOTE=Dark Soul # 7;4843490]I mean, [spoil]if she's really got 4 million victims to her name and if displayed the same general glee as she usually does whenever she doesn anything evil then I'd say she's kinda earned it.
Obviously it wasn't effective at all in re-educating her. But still. 4 million is a lot of lives.[/spoil][/QUOTE]
[spoil]
Oh no kidding but it still seemed completely out of left field for Zordon to me. It just seems like something a PO'ed Doctor would do. Maybe it's just me.
[/spoil]