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  1. #1
    nice to meet ya! master of read's Avatar
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    Default "Don't mess with that guy! He's a bad ass!"

    you've seen it before: in movies, tv, comics, etc. that one guy who tells you about a character who is a scary badass and that you shouldn't mess with him. those lines that are part warning, part promo piece.

    what are the best lines about badass characters in fiction?

    my first pick?


    "A man can be an artist ... in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasey's art is death. He's about to paint his masterpiece. I have nothing else to say."


    Rayburn. Man on Fire

  2. #2
    Peter Scott SpiderClops's Avatar
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    "Well, John wasn't exactly the Boogeyman. He was the one you sent to kill the fucking Boogeyman."

  3. #3
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    Bill: Once upon a time in China, some believe, around the year one double-aught three, head priest of the White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei, was walking down the road, contemplating whatever it is that a man of Pai Mei's infinite power contemplates - which is another way of saying "who knows?" - when a Shaolin monk appeared, traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths, Pai Mei, in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod was not returned. Now was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei? Or did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk remain unknown. What is known, are the consequences. The next morning Pai Mei appeared at the Shaolin Temple and demanded of the Temple's head abbot that he offer Pai Mei his neck to repay the insult. The Abbot at first tried to console Pai Mei, only to find Pai Mei was inconsolable. So began the massacre of the Shaolin Temple and all sixty of the monks inside at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began the legend of Pai Mei's five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique.

    The Bride: And what, pray tell, is the five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique?

    Bill: Quite simply, the deadliest blow in all of martial arts. He hits you with his fingertips at five different pressure points on your body. And then he lets you walk away. But after you've taken five steps, your heart explodes inside your body, and you fall to the floor, dead.
    Last edited by Carabas; 01-12-2018 at 04:27 AM.

  4. #4
    My Face Is Up Here Powerboy's Avatar
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    In the original version of "The Longest Yard", there's a guy Burt Reynolds wanted to recruit for his Football team.

    I'm paraphrasing but something like:

    Prisoner: He's gotten into all sorts of brawls in his life, killed lots of guys unarmed. He's a master of Karate. One time, he was in a bar and a dozen men attacked him. He killed them all.

    Reynolds' character: Oh yeah, that karate can be dangerous stuff.

    Other prisoner: Oh, this was before he learned karate.
    Power with Girl is better.

  5. #5
    Mighty Member Stigmazilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpiderClops View Post
    "Well, John wasn't exactly the Boogeyman. He was the one you sent to kill the fucking Boogeyman."
    John Wick killed three men with a pencil! A F@$"ing Pencil!

  6. #6
    She/Her Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh's Avatar
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    "The Man in Black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed."
    Yeah, but if you... man, we're getting into weird analogy territory, like if you disintegrated Superman's arms he wouldn't be able to go "fool! Little did you know that my arms and I are one and can be remade from me!" and will his arms back into being from pure nothingness. - Pendaran

    Arx Inosaan

  7. #7
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    About Skurge:

    "And though the Executioner stands alone, and the warriors of Hel seem numberless, not one sets foot upon the bridge across the river Gjoll. They sing no songs in Hel... nor do they celebrate heroes... for silent is that dismal realm and cheerless... but the story of the Gjallerbru and the god who defended it is whispered across the Nine Worlds. And when a new arrival asks about the one to whom even Hela bows her head... the answer is always the same... he stood alone at Gjallerbru... and that answer is enough"

  8. #8
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    No, Lientenant, your men are already dead.

  9. #9
    Astonishing Member Ptrvc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmazilla View Post
    John Wick killed three men with a pencil! A F@$"ing Pencil!
    But they keep calling him Baba Yaga though...I just can't take him seriously.

  10. #10

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    From Dan Simmons "Hyperion". Awesome because the Shrike... but even more awesome is Kassads nonchalant response.

    ------

    Sol Weintraub and Brawne Lamia were half a klick down the valley, Sol bending over the woman as
    she lay near the front of the Jade Tomb. Wind swirled dust around them so thickly that they did not see the
    Shrike moving like another shadow down the trail past the Obelisk, toward them.

    Fedmahn Kassad stepped off the dark marble in front of the Monolith and skirted the shattered crystal
    shards which littered the path. He realized that Moneta still clung to his arm.

    “If you fight again,” she said, her voice soft and urgent in his ear, “the Shrike will kill you.”

    “They’re my friends,” said Kassad. His FORCE gear and torn armor lay where Moneta had thrown it
    hours earlier. He searched the Monolith until he found his assault rifle and a bandolier of grenades, saw
    the rifle was still functional, checked charges and clicked off safeties, left the Monolith, and stepped
    forward at double time to intercept the Shrike.

    ----
    SO COOL. I got chills reading that the first time.
    "At the end of the day, Arby is a pretty prolific poster proposing a plurality of proper posts for us."
    - big_adventure

  11. #11
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    jeepers its the creeper! lol kidding but seriously the scene from the end of jeepers creepers 2 comes to mind where the group of teenagers arrive on taggerts farm where the Creeper is a sideshow attraction, and see Taggart watching it with the harpoon at his side and they ask him if he is waiting for something, then Taggart looks up at the Creeper and says, "About three moredays, give or take a day or two." too bad he didnt get to kill the @#$%"* permanently.

  12. #12
    Prince of Duckness Beadle's Avatar
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    Much as he’s not my favourite character......

    “A soldier with a voice that could command a god....”

    *pan to see Thor alongside Cap*

    “.... and does.”

  13. #13
    Extraordinary Member The Drunkard Kid's Avatar
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    Vegeta: "Shall I tell you where you miscalculated?"
    Goku Black: "Miscalculated!?"
    Vegeta: "That body...down to the very corners of its cells...was made by Kakarot's long, fierce history of combat! For you, it's just a borrowed vessel! Only a true numbskull like him can use the Saiyan cells within it to their fullest!"

  14. #14
    nice to meet ya! master of read's Avatar
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    don't forget "first blood"

    Col. Trautman: I don't think you understand. I didn't come to rescue Rambo from you. I came here to rescue you from him.
    Sheriff Teasle: (clearly taken aback by Trautman's words) Well, we all appreciate your concern Colonel, I will try to be extra careful!
    Col. Trautman: You picked the wrong man to push.
    Sheriff Teasle: (walking back into the tent) No, Trautman, he picked the wrong man!
    Col. Trautman: (following him in) That boy's a heart attack! He may be the best the Special Forces ever produced. Now whatever you're planning to throw at him here, he's been through a whole lot worse, in a lot worse places that this. I'm just amazed he allowed any of your posse to live.
    Teasle: Is that right?
    Trautman: Strictly speaking, he slipped up. You're lucky to be breathing.
    Teasle: Colonel, you came out here to find out why one of your machines blew a gasket!
    Trautman: You don't seem to want to accept the fact that you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best! With guns, with knives, with his bare hands! A man who's been trained to ignore pain! To ignore weather! To live off the land! To eat things that would make a billy goat puke! In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel... to kill, period! Win by attrition... well Rambo was THE BEST!

    Col. Trautman: If you send your people in there after him they'll get killed.
    Sheriff Teasle: (getting more irritated) You know, we're just a small, hick-town sheriff's department, Colonel, but we're expected to do our duty just like our heroes in the Special Forces.
    Trautman: In Special Forces we teach our people to stay alive in the line of duty.
    Teasle: No ****, I never thought of that.
    Trautman: You want a war you can't win?
    Teasle: Are you tellin' me that 200 of our men against your boy is a no-win situation for us?
    Trautman: You send that many, don't forget one thing.
    Teasle: What?
    Trautman: A good supply of body-bags.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    Much as he’s not my favourite character......

    “A soldier with a voice that could command a god....”

    *pan to see Thor alongside Cap*

    “.... and does.”
    you have got me wondering when odin and zeus and other highfathers are going to induct the avengers in a war of gods with steve leading the combined front. lol though I think he would have to cede command to jean foster who seems to have outdone him in giving inspiring speeches when her words awaken the all mother out of her coma.

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