NFL 2018 OFF-Season thread

[worstblogever]

Today's edition of "Why Your Team Sucks"... THE TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS.

From their own fans:

Andrew: "Eleven Roombas with googly eyes taped to the top would put up 31 points against this defense. Our secondary has the structural integrity of Lindsey Lohan’s nasal cavity, and for some reason the front office decided it was impossible to upgrade from Chris Conte at safety. I’m looking forward to watching opposing offenses run the same 10-yard slant against this defense up and down the field for 16 straight weeks. Should be fun.

They won’t put the “face of the franchise” on the stadium murals because he’s so busy groping Uber drivers. If only there had been some warning signs before they drafted him. In fairness to Jameis though, it can be tough for the millionaire starting QB to find a woman to go home with him. This team is such a disaster that no one is even talking about using a 2nd round pick on a kicker that we cut in training camp a year later."

Luke: "If they went 12-4 every year going forward it would take them 19 seasons (2037!) just to get back to .500 overall."

Eric: "Everyone talks about the Browns and their list of quarterbacks, but our pussy-grabbing crab thief almost has every Bucs passing record after just three years."

[Jackmando7]

In funny NFL News , if you think the Colts have had terrible drafts....nothing compares to the Cleveland Browns. Today they traded Corey Coleman (WR) to the Buffalo Bills for a late round pick. Coleman was a 1st round draft pick in 2016 and has struggled in 2 seasons due to injuries. He has 56 receptions for 718 yards and 5 TD's in that span. It was believed he was battling for the #2 position with Josh Gordon out.

As I mentioned above , if you think the Colts have had bad drafts. Well nothing compares to the Cleveland Browns who from 2012 to 2016 have had all 7 , 1st round draft picks become busts since.

Lol, talk about timing "Browns wideout Antonio Callaway popped for expired license and marijuana"

https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.co...and-marijuana/

He also pissed positive during the combine so its his 2nd.

[WestPhillyPunisher]

Forgive me if this has already been mentioned, but aren’t the Browns on Hard Knocks this year?

[WestPhillyPunisher]

Mr. "Discount Double Check" has the right idea on this matter:

Aaron Rodgers backs LeBron James, wants NFL players to ignore President Trump's remarks

Aaron Rodgers, one of the NFL’s most famous players, encouraged his peers to ignore disparaging tweets or public comments made about the NFL by President Trump.

“I think that the more that we give credence to stuff like that, the more it's gonna live on," Rodgers said in an extensive interview with NFL.com reporter Mike Silver. "I think if we can learn to ignore or not respond to stuff like that -- if we can -- it takes away the power of statements like that."

Rodgers told Silver that he supports NBA superstar LeBron James, who last week became the target of Trump’s ire. Trump called James “unintelligent” just days after the four-time NBA MVP opened his "I Promise" school for children at risk of falling behind in his hometown of Akron, Ohio.

“He knows he has the support of his contemporaries," Rodgers said of James, "in his own sport and in other sports."

Rodgers added that James' lack of a public response to Trump thus far was "absolutely brilliant."

I couldn't agree more. And Rodgers is spot on right with his suggestion that players simply ignore Trump's rantings. Getting into a pissing contest with a petty and vindictive demagogue who owns the world's largest bully pulpit and the eagerness to use it is a lose-lose situation for both players and the league as a whole. Just treat Trump like the overgrown child he is, leave him be and go about the business of the upcoming season.

[Jackmando7]

Forgive me if this has already been mentioned, but aren’t the Browns on Hard Knocks this year?

They are. You should check out what Jarvis Landry has to say.

http://thesportsdaily.com/2018/08/08...se-rant-video/

[worstblogever]

Why Your Team Sucks... THE CHICAGO BEARS

Best from Bears fans:

Dante: "I need Mitch Trubisky to get very good very soon because I refuse to be a franchise who’s best QB was Jay Cutler. Watching him get murdered every year while throwing 1,000 picks took at least a decade off my life."

Jason: "Our defense will look good for the 1st half before blowing a lead in the 2nd. You can set your watch to it. We let Robbie Gould walk and then we brought in kickers who have the accuracy of Imperial Stormtroopers. Our “rivalry” with the Packers is basically just us saying “Packers suck!” while their fans laugh in our faces as Aaron Rodgers drops 42 points on us."

Neal: "Venus De Milo has better hands than Jordan Howard."

[worstblogever]

Looks like we've been treated to a double-feature by Drew Magary today...

Why Your Team Sucks: The San Francisco 49ers

Best 49ers fan submissions:

Joey: "Garoppolo is going to deviate back to a statistical mean for performance and go 4-12. Sherman’s going to tear something and play in six games, but he’ll still say some pretty woke **** during a press conference that will make it so I can’t wear my Niners shirt in public until he’s not on the team anymore (I live in the South). Our fans were completely elated when Reuben Foster was acquitted on that domestic violence charge that he totally did."

Martin: "I’m mostly afraid that Jimmy is going to regress and I’m going to have to listen to months of bullshit about how it’s because we went on a date with a porn star."

Anders: "I posit this as someone who completely agrees with Colin Kaepernick’s protests as well as his right to do it. But say Kaep completes that corner fade to Crabtree. The Niners win and likely win the Super Bowl, with Kaep likely winning MVP. He gets a Flacco-like extension, Harbaugh stays and the added money and glory of being an “elite” QB hold Kaep back from evolving into our national Rorschach test. If he never takes a knee, Trump doesn’t have the perfect (not-so-subtle) dog whistle for white middle America in the fall of 2016, and just maybe we avoid our current Hellworld.

Ipso facto, Richard Sherman is responsible for the Trump presidency."

[WestPhillyPunisher]

They are. You should check out what Jarvis Landry has to say.

http://thesportsdaily.com/2018/08/08...se-rant-video/

Well, THAT was sure hilarious!

[Jackmando7]

Well, THAT was sure hilarious!

Another gem was Hue Jackson saying this during is coaches meeting.

“Let me finish. I used to sit in the same chair you guys sit in and I used to feel the same way. I just wanted to kill ’em, okay? Until all of a sudden I sat in this chair and then they’re not there, and you don’t get them to practice, and you can’t get them through and then you don’t have them for three weeks. and I’m not living in my fears. That’s real, and I think we all can appreciate that.”

Uh, pretty sure Todd Haley and Gregg Williams sat in your chair before too. In fact Todd Haley won 4 more games the year he was fired than you have in your entire career, Hue!

[DungeonmasterJim]

SWEET!

I just got tickets to New England Patriots vs Green Bay Packers's Sunday Night November 4th national televised game!

So if you see a dude in a red Tom Brady jersey it could be me! :P

[DungeonmasterJim]

Double post because this board takes like 40 seconds to post anything from me so I mistakenly post again thinking the original didn't make it.

[Scott Taylor]

Another gem was Hue Jackson saying this during is coaches meeting.

“Let me finish. I used to sit in the same chair you guys sit in and I used to feel the same way. I just wanted to kill ’em, okay? Until all of a sudden I sat in this chair and then they’re not there, and you don’t get them to practice, and you can’t get them through and then you don’t have them for three weeks. and I’m not living in my fears. That’s real, and I think we all can appreciate that.”

Uh, pretty sure Todd Haley and Gregg Williams sat in your chair before too. In fact Todd Haley won 4 more games the year he was fired than you have in your entire career, Hue!

I'm glad Hue is there as a coach, because it allows everyone else in the league to know it could be worse. They could be that guy!

[Jackmando7]

SWEET!

I just got tickets to New England Patriots vs Green Bay Packers's Sunday Night November 4th national televised game!

So if you see a dude in a red Tom Brady jersey it could be me! :P

Go Pack!

JK

Thats awesome! Have fun dude.

[WestPhillyPunisher]

SWEET!

I just got tickets to New England Patriots vs Green Bay Packers's Sunday Night November 4th national televised game!

So if you see a dude in a red Tom Brady jersey it could be me! :P

Good for you! I hope you have a great time!

I'm glad Hue is there as a coach, because it allows everyone else in the league to know it could be worse. They could be that guy!

A classic NFL cautionary tale.

[worstblogever]

Speaking of classic NFL cautionary tales...

Why Your Team Sucks... THE OAKLAND RAIDERS!

Best self-aware Raiders fan submissions:

Nick: "We fired Coach Shooter McGavin so that Mark Davis can take his new buddy to go get matching haircuts and sit at P.F. Chang’s talking about how much the next ****-sack defensive back we sign really 'just lives and breathes FOOTBALL, man I tellya.' F*** this team with a 40 oz of Jamarcus Russell’s sizzurp."

Jack: "Due to how often players are traded away, I always considered it a waste to buy the jersey of a current player. But when I realized that Khalil Mack was a generational talent, one of the best defensive players in the NFL who can single-handedly win games, I knew that it was a safe purchase, because only the dumbest team imaginable wouldn’t keep him locked up until he can’t walk anymore.

I am now remembering that the Raiders are the dumbest team imaginable. I want a refund."

Beckett: "I’ve never been afraid of God or concepts like divine wrath, but there was something deeply, spiritually concerning about seeing our star QB shatter his leg on Christmas Eve. Watching the hopes and dreams of so many lurid, sinful Raider fans snuffed out like they were an affront to Jesus Christ himself made me think about the Sodomites, and what they must have felt as they received their terrible judgment. One some level I knew we deserved it."

And as a bonus, Raiders fans on Mark Davis:

Brando "Mark Davis looks like he should be in an Austin Powers movie as the sickly villain Ginger Ail."

Du09: "Davis looks like a Ghoul shop keeper from the Fallout universe."

Dante: "Mark Davis is just a very slow Animorph of a ginger man turning into a hairless cat."