Originally Posted by
Tami
"You mean other than what I am doing now?" Cyanna puled her knees up to her chin, then stared out into the vast sky, before changing her position so that her legs were crossed in a casual lotus. She then started talking almost stream of thought, "I really don't know. Most of my life was just following Meagan, doing what she did, trying to be like her. Not that she wanted me to, not that she pushed me away either. She did ask me this once and I couldn't answer, so she just said to think on it. And I have been thinking on it."
Her eyes went distant, "I thought learning magic would be fun, and it is. But then Charco had to get his magical immunity thing and I can't show him all the neat skills I learned. He can't even use the amulet anymore which is a bummer. I thought he and I having matching magical objects would make us closer. Though that's kind of silly. Meagan once said that it was best that her and Zaofan never hit it off like he did with Etrina, seeing as how he loves to cook and we Chromakai are a little fussy when it comes to food."
"I don't know what use magic can be for me or for others. I'll never be as good at Etrina, it's not like I can control anything special. Light is fun, but it's just light, not like controlling Time, or Space like Lady Reimi, or anything else. Then again, if I was that powerful, I'd probably make a mess of things. Especially if I'm off my meds, then I get all hyperactive. I'm not as bad as I used to be, Meagan thinks I'll outgrow it eventually. I hope so, not that I want to be like everyone else. Dash says there is nothing wrong with wanting to be special, but I haven't been special. I'm still just chasing Meagan around, but she needs me, so that's not the same. She says that next year, after my next birthday, I'll have to find my own way. Not forever, it's like a coming of age thing, Meagan did it and so did Dash."
"I want to be special, to do something really important. I just, don't know what yet. All these special, important people. It feels like there is no room for me. Like there is nothing left for me. Meagan is right though, I do need to find myself. I wish I knew who I was, who I really was. Who my parents were. We tried to locate them, but nothing. The government is still trying to match Orphans with blood relatives, but they couldn't find any for me. Maybe that makes me special?"
She then looked up at Asha'rah, her cheeks flushed slightly, "Sorry for the rambling. It's just, what I want to do with my life is not the same as what I can do with my life. So, I'm not sure how to answer that yet."