Originally Posted by
Maestroneto
First four pages are the ones from the preview.
Magik takes Kitty up to the roof of Harry's to get drunk. Magik tells Kitty her and Piotr shouldn't get married because their relationship is a fucking joke. Okay, she doesn't say it quite like that, because Guggs writers her quite poorly, but it's pretty much the jist of it. If Kitty and Piotr were meant for one another, they would've gotten hitched long ago. There's no gay subtext here for those who were hoping for it, but Yana does say she loves Kitty.
At the wedding preparations, Kurt tells Piotr he's going to propose to Rachel, which is one of the most baffling story developments in a run full of them. Meanwhile, Stevie is doing Kitty's makeup. Kitty says she hates mascara and makeup, so her doing it for for Magik in Dead Souls last week should've been a big tell for Yana that things weren't quite as they seemed. Kitty hugs Storm, Stevie and her mom, the women who raised her (let's just forget Stevie all but dissappeared from comics somewhere in 1983). As the parade leaves for the wedding grounds, Logan looks on, glad that his OTP is finally setting sail.
At the wedding, Storm makes the weather nice while Magik still feels like shit. Girl, just own it instead of this weeping. Rogue and Gambit flirt around (won't lead to anything I'm sure) while Jeen and Tyke are freaked out about the fact they got married right her as well. Kurt forgot the rings. In case for those wondering: Kurt is best man and Magik is maid of honor (suck it Rachel).
Kitty is walked down the aisle by her born again feminist mom and I feel the need to point out that Kitty's wearing a different dress than the one on all those variants lol. The rabbi tells the story of Kitty and Piotr's love, which is just a long list of disasters, and the ring ceremony begins. Kitty puts the ring on Piotr, but when Piotr tries to put the ring on Kitty, SHE PHASES THROUGH IT. Then she says she can't go through with the wedding and phases through the ground. LMAO. Rougemort 2018! And perhaps the best editorially mandated interference since the last time editorial decided Kitty and Colossus needed to be broken up. Anyway, Piotr is a liiiiiittle embarassed and asks Kurt to teleport him away.
At the not-so wedding reception, Ink appears! FINALLY! Watch out Jubilee fans, he might make a move on her! There's a kind of fun page with Rachel and the Jeans too where they feel out all the pain. Also our lovely goatlady still feels like shit instead of just admitting she likes kitties.
Piotr finds Kitty at the place where he broke up with her all those years ago, and Kitty explains that while she loves him and the had good times, their history is basically straight garbage and they probably shouldn't marry ever. Back at the reception, Storm says it's better to break up now than realize you're not meant for each other years down the line. Storm is of course an expert on this since she ended up fighting her husband in a hero vs hero event. Storm continues to talk about how marriage requires serious conviction, which inspires one half of a relationship whose ups and downs are an even bigger dumpster fire than Kitty and Piotr's to propose to his lady love. Of course, Gambit probably also knew that he shouldn't let the opportunity for a free wedding go to waste.
So in take two of the WEDDING OF THE CENTURY, Anna Marie Sookie and Remy LeBoyo tie the knot, with Kurt and Iceman being Rogue's bridesmaids and Storm and X-23 being Gambit's groomsmen. And so the gentiles are wed without their wedding licenses by a rabbi. Just as it was always foretold.
Now somebody check up on the writer who spent 35 years living up to the wedding of Kitty and Colossus, and who would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling editors.
While the wedding twist is truly bizarre, it hits that sweet Chuck Austen spot of being so bad it's good. The editorial interference actually forced Guggs to truly grapple with the continuity for once, instead of just telling stories about old stories. Even outside of the twist, this is probably the best issue of Gold. Nobody feels REALLY out of character (except probably Magik, who, depending on your read of the character, should've been fully supportive of the couple or been plotting all along, instead of this half-assed nonsense). The jokes actually land and the character dynamics are breezy and memorable. The art was STUNNING, as to be expected of David Marquez. Every page is a delight, the fashions are all on point (hot take: Rogue wore a better dress than Kitty anyway) and the facial expressions are lovely and expressive. 10/10, this was indubitably the best issue yet.