Friend, I'm sorry that this is happening to you because you don't deserve any of this mess. You are one of the kindest, strongest and most compassionate people I've gotten to know(not just on this site, or online, but in general) and I thank God that you didn't go through with what you were thinking because you *do* matter to people. even if it doesn't always feel that way. Take whatever time you need to reclaim your happiness, man, but we're here for you no matter what.