You find yourself in a vast technological landscape. The scale of it is difficult to process. To one side are eight chairs, each of which has a kind of helmet that can descend upon whoever occupies it.
Towering over you is the Stranger, from the Marvel Universe.
“I have taken the liberty of reconfiguring your physiology along the lines of your ideal self, which includes bestowing you with rejuvenated health and fitness. When I return you to your tiny earth home, everyone on your world will remember you this way, and all earth records will reflect the new truth. But this is simply the precursor to the experiment.
“Each of these chairs,” he explains “will imbue you with a different set of knowledge and skills, collected from a number of different individuals and universes. You simply choose the one you want, and I will perform the procedure and return you home. Or, if you prefer, I can transport you to any of the eight universes involved in the experiment. You need not match the skill-set and the universe, if you choose this option. I can also provide you with some psychic paper to make the transition run more smoothly.”
“But I don’t want other people’s memories inside my head,” you say.
The Stranger waves his hand dismissively.
“Yes, I understand the fragility of the human psyche. I have taken special care that you will only receive the knowledge, skills and physical conditioning of the donors, but not any foreign personal memories or live psychic fragments. Also, you will know what you know as well as they would.”
“Okay, but why me? And what’s the risk factor here?”
“Ah. This is your fabled human curiosity. One of the few traits I share with your species. Why did I choose you, personally? You have an earth saying: a man’s reach should exceed his grasp. What I mean here is that I respect your desire to know why I choose you, but it is not possible for you, at your present evolutionary stage, to grasp the quantum dynamics that led to your selection.
“Risk factor? The former procedure has primed your brain and nervous system to safely receive the downloads. But yes, there is still some risk. Imagine, if you will, a tiny atom of hydrogen. Set that atom loose in the swirling storms of planet Jupiter. What’s the probability that, if you randomly pulled a single atom or molecule from the planetary storm, you would pull out that same one atom of hydrogen you let loose? That’s the risk factor here.”
“But—”
“I have been a cosmic scientist for billions of years, and process information on a scale unimaginable to you. You may take my assessment as though it were like unto a law of physics.”
He reveals the skill sets available:
- Daniel Craig Quadrilogy: Bond, LeChiffre, Blofeld, Q, Silva, M, Mr. White, Vesper, Rene Mathis, Dominic Green, Gareth Mallory, Madeleine Swan.
- Dune: Thufir Hawat, Duncan Idaho (1st incarnation), Gurney Halleck, Dr. Wellington Yueh. The Stranger cannot guarantee you’ll be as skilled a mentat as Thufir, but he expects you’ll at least get some savant abilities.
- Corwin of Amber. While you’ll get all his combat reflexes, and even his battle instincts, your body will still be a human body, not an Amberite body.
- Lazarus Long. You don’t get any of his genes, just the skills, knowledge, and so forth.
- Star Trek TNG, S7: Jean-Luc Picard, William Riker, Geordi LaForge, Worf, Deanna Troi, Reginald Barclay, Beverly Crusher, Miles O'Brien, Nurse Ogawa. The Stranger explains that different universes have slightly different physics, so not all Federation knowledge may be applicable in your world. "In addition," he explains, "I have declined to include the knowledge reservoir of the android, as such an extensive download would exceed safety parameters."
- Nolanverse Batman: Bruce Wayne, Joker, Scarecrow, Alfred Pennyworth, Ra’s al Ghul, Catwoman, Bane, Talia ah Ghul, Harvey Dent, James Gordon, Lucius Fox. The Stranger reassures you that there’s no danger of receiving the Joker’s insanity, or anyone else’s.
- X-Men Earth-616: Professor Xavier, Magneto, Wolverine, Mystique, Hank McCoy, Kitty Pryde, Gambit, Emma Frost, Sebastian Shaw, Cable. "You only get their skills and knowledge, not their powers," says the Stranger, "the latter would be an entirely different experiment."
- Godfather Films: Vito Corleone, Michael Corleone, Tom Hagen, Peter Clemenza, Luca Brasi, Al Neri, Hyman Roth, Don Altobello, Archbishop Gilday, Frederick Keinszig, Don Licio Lucchesi, Johnny Fontaine, Cardinal Lamberto.
“Simply choose which skill-set you desire, and sit in that chair. The procedure takes only 94.4587662 earth seconds, and is entirely painless. You will not be scarred or traumatized in any way.”