X-Men Gold #36 Recap/Review/Celebration

[Maestroneto]

First five pages were shown in the preview.

The X-Men arrive at Port Washington to confront a Kirby-cracklin' omega mutant. Kitty orders Storm to **** off and save civilians, which seems like a waste of a mutant who's so powerful she can make it rain on the sun and move the moon. Rachel gets knocked out immediately, which really highlights how this issue is a celebration of everything that sucks about Gold (especially if you take those preview pages of CW drama into account too).

Kitty gets the omega mutant, Brian Morrison, to calm down, but he immediately gets shot in the head by a vigilante citizen. Kitty gets furious because Brian didn't hurt anyone, but the good citizen points out he destroyed an entire neighbourhood. Kitty and Nightcrawler teleport the mutant to the hospital. The doctor in charge there refuses to operate on Brian because he's a dangerous mutant. Kitty accuses him of being a racist, but I'm pretty sure she could've just reminded him of his Hippocratic Oath.

Kitty then demands Rachel mind control the doctor into operating on him, which really shows how much Marc "I read every Kitty issue ever" Guggenheim knows about that character. Fun fact: Kitty was an ethics teacher back during the JGS days. Anyway, the rest of the X-Men turn on Kitty but it's not like this was properly set up (on purpose at least) in the previous 36 issues of misguided fanwank, nor will it be further explored because it's the FINAL ISSUE. Which brings me to an adjacent complaint that is shown in full force here and in every other issue. What characters has Kitty actually interacted with in Gold besides Colossus? Guggs mentions in the coda that what makes the X-Men great is their dynamics with each other, but Kitty had zero dynamics with any character except Guggs' author insert. It's stuff like that which only further excarbates the fact that this is a crappy solo book. But with at least some good dynamics other characters would've been spotlighted, and it could've shown us something new about the characters. Could you imagine how good that scene could've been if the book had been about Kitty becoming like Emma all along as she wrestles with the responsibilities she now carries? But lol it was just a dumb romance comic for 30 issues.

Anyway, conventiently another doctor shows up and is willing to operate on Brian because she was one of the bigots Kitty talked to in issue #1, but became convinced of the X-Men's heroism by watching The Fact Channel, because Guggenheim is Not Very Subtle. Now the GENIUSES at Marvel don't have Perez redraw that scene from issue #1, but are actually using Ardian Syaf art, a guy who was fired for wanting to kill all the Jews. That definitely won't help the fact that the X-Office ruined their two most prominent Jews recently.

The issue ends with the X-Men waiting in suspense if Brian will be alright or not. A group shot shows the original six Gold members, plus the replacement team. But not Rogue and Gambit, who got MARRIED in this book (I guess Guggs is still sore about that). Also it mentions that Gold is dedicated to Chris Claremont. I'm sure he'll be happy about that.

This book died the way it lived: by doing a one-shot issue about an extremely dangerous mutant worse than Bendis or Austen did. Guggs' attempt to get vaguely political falls flat on his face. None of the characters except Kitty do anything. Kitty is unlikable and OOC. The art was great.

At least Guggs admits in the coda that Gold was unoriginal nostalgia garbage. 2/10, worst run ever but the wedding issue was iconic.

The good news is that it's over.

[WhiteQueenEmmaFrost]

oh my god.

It sounds so awful. JFC telling Rachel to mind control a doctor. That's something Emma, Jean, Xavier wouldn't have ever done. The Xmen have healers they should've taken him to one of those.

Ugh this writing. R.I.S.P. Rest in Shredded Pieces and let us never speak of this again.

[Maestroneto]

The Xmen have healers they should've taken him to one of those.

This was mentioned (well, the mentioned Cece, who technically isn't a healer) but it was too far away.

[WhiteQueenEmmaFrost]

This was mentioned (well, the mentioned Cece, who technically isn't a healer) but it was too far away.

Jean was able to stop a bomb from blowing Scott up during OZT. Rachel could've held him together long enough to get help, but that's not the way Gug thinks and this is what we got. It sounds like one of the two episodes of Charlie's Angels where Kelly got shot in the head and they did a "recap" episode.

[Askani's Flame]

I can't wait to skim this today. I'm glad the series is done, but good lord the damage that he has inflicted. It's like he brought a bat and felt like whacking all the windows and vases on the way out of his house for the last time.
I'd love to make a ban on discussing Gold after this issue lol. It's not worth the energy used to make our fingers type.

[jalsrix]

As usual, this is a silly confusing review with a lot of biased opinions about Gugg.

I am going to wait until I get a copy of it to get a proper understanding of what really happened.

[Luckystar.]

I bet he thought Angry woman from issue #1 returning a changed person now is such a homage to Claremontian long-term storytelling. Can't believe I wasted 4 dollars on this.

[Drakeon]

Brian Morrison

So the love child of Bendis and Grant?

[Ambaryerno]

I bet he thought Angry woman from issue #1 returning a changed person now is such a homage to Claremontian long-term storytelling. Can't believe I wasted 4 dollars on this.

Which I suppose COULD have worked with better execution.

[Maestroneto]

Brian Morrison

So the love child of Bendis and Grant?

He gets shot in the head because Brian betrayed Kiotr and Morrison betrayed the nostalgic navelgazing.

[Captain Nash]

Gawd almighty this sounds awful. But I already bought the book digital so I may as well read it and get this fantastically unmemorable run over with. Thankfully nothing came out of it besides Rogue/Gambit getting married and NuPyro and his sexcapades with Iceman. There were a couple of good issues - the wedding issue was okay for what it was. The first two issues of the Storm returning to her village (For the first time EVVVVAHHHH o-O) were good. ANd I even felt like the first arc, maybe even through issue 5 or 6 were decent except the Kitty/Peter coupling. I actually thought issue 1 was a brilliant start and just what we needed in the X-books. Boy was I wrong. At least it's time to revamp and get a new title we can bitch about.

[Slicknickshady]

Issue was great!

As usual, this is a silly confusing review with a lot of biased opinions about Gugg.

I am going to wait until I get a copy of it to get a proper understanding of what really happened.

Yep, i thought it was great!

[Gambit, King of Thieves]

I though the ending was nice, although I'd like to know what actually HAPPENED to that kid.

[Narasinha]

a one-shot issue about an extremely dangerous mutant worse than Bendis

lololol com'on, it's not because he is bald that he is a dangerous mutant!

[Quentin]

lol these omega level mutants and their shenanigans again!

great it is finally over and put out of their misery.