You’re sitting in your living room late one night when two figures appear before you.

One wears a long white robe. His face is hooded and he wears a blank white mask over his face. He holds a pair of scales.

The other is … Ron Weasley, age perhaps thirty. He wears a musketeers outfit of red and green and a large plumed hat. A rapier hangs from one side and a Potterverse wand from the other.

The robed figure holds the scales forth. They wobble a bit, then balance out.

“YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN,” he says, “AND MUST THEREFORE CHOOSE.”

The scales disappear to be replaced by four tarot cards. He lays them out before you. The images are: (1) Duncan Idaho of Dune, (2) Forge of the 616 X-Men, (3) Post-Crisis Batman, and (4) Mister Spock of TOS/TNG.

“A moment please,” says Ron. “He’s not very good at explaining things, is he? Cosmics!” He rolls his eyes. “Do you know what an Eternal Champion is?”



“I never finished all the Potter books,” you say. “Or is this a Hunger Games kind of thing?”

“Ah, never mind. The point is, you’re going to be eternally reincarnated throughout different universes and placed in situations where you’ll have to fight evil for the fate of whole worlds.”



“That’s gonna suck for those worlds. I’m kind of a couch potato.”

“Not to worry. You get the standard reincarnation package, and you get to choose from one of four combination skill-sets/power-packages to take with you.”

“Standard reincarnation package?”

“In each incarnation you get perfect mental and physical health, a comely appearance, immunity to terrestrial disease, detoxification equal to ten times your weight, regeneration sufficient to regrow an arm within one year, wealthy parents in a good situation, and low-level universal translation ability.

“You don’t get to keep the memories you’ve acquired in this life, but you’ll have a deep unconscious awareness of having once been who you are. You also get two magic items that show up in each life: a +5 Dancing, Ghost Touch, Vorpal Sword and a Ring of Three Wishes. That’s three wishes each lifetime, no wishing for more wishes. You’ll get the hang of it.”

“I’m still going to get creamed.”

“That’s where the choice comes in. Choose one of the cards and you get a bunch of skills, powers, traits and attributes that accompany you each incarnation. By about age sixteen to eighteen, they'll have reappeared in full.”

DUNCAN IDAHO:
  • All skills, knowledge, talents and abilities of Duncan Idaho, swordmaster of the Ginaz (first incarnation);
  • All skills, knowledge, powers and abilities of a Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother (except for genetic memory and memory transference);
  • All skills, knowledge, powers and abilities of a mentat Master of Assassins at the level of Thufir Hawat;
  • Master Scytale's knowledge of biochemistry and genetics;
  • Precognitive dreams of people, things and events of importance to you;
  • You have no need for spice or other drugs to keep up your abilities.

FORGE:
  • You get all of Forge’s skills, knowledge and experience, plus his mutant inventing ability and a genius intelligence. Your power works in all universes, and also informs you of any differences in scientific laws in different universes (no mistakes along these lines).
  • You get all of Forge’s shamanistic mystical abilities, although magical laws may vary among different universes. Basically, if magic exists in a universe, this package guarantees you “the gift” each lifetime. (Doesn't mean no magic gifts ever with other packages, just that then it's up to Fate not you.)
  • You also get all the skills (but not powers) of these four individuals: Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler), Dane Whitman (Black Knight), Jessica Drew (Spider-Woman), Benjamin Grimm (Thing).
  • Minimum physical abilities of a real-world olympic athlete.

BATMAN:
  • All the skills, knowledge, experience and physical conditioning of Post-Crisis Batman, Hal Jordan, Oliver Queen, Catwoman, Talia al Ghul, Barbara Gordon.
  • Physical stats equal to comic book peak human.
  • You have Hal Jordan’s prowess of willpower and concentration, but no power ring or emerald energies. If you ever come across cosmic energies, you may daw upon his experience in wielding them.
  • Oliver Queen’s eyesight at it’s peak, plus your eyesight never atropies with age.
  • Barbara Gordon level photographic memory.

SPOCK:
  • All the skills, knowledge, experience and physical conditioning of Ambassador Spock in his prime.
  • Vulcan level strength, speed, durability, lifespan, and cognitive abilities (time sense, instant computation, acute memory, etc).
  • Vulcan powers at Spock’s level in his prime. So, mind meld, mind control, nerve pinch, and other Spock feats.
  • All the skills and knowledge of James Kirk, Leonard McCoy, Sulu; Jean-Luc Picard, Worf, Deanna Troi (no powers); Odo (no powers), Elim Garak, Miles O'Brien; Tom Paris, Kathryn Janeway, Tuvok.

“So once you choose one of these,” says Ron, “you’ll be imbued with the standard package and your chosen set right now in this lifetime. Minus the wealthy parents, I guess, unless you were lucky enough to get that already. Oh, here’s your sword and ring.”

He pulls out his wand. “Accio champion artifacto!”

Your sword and ring appear before you.

“So after you choose, you just sort of, you know, hang out and enjoy what remains of this incarnation. I think a ship is going to come and pick you up in few years. You’ll have to go with it. They don’t take 'no' for an answer....

"Hey, how do you know a cosmic entity is keeping something important from you? His lips are moving!”

Ron erupts in uproarious laughter.

“THE GRAVITY OF EVENTS IS NO OCCASSION FOR LEVITY.”

“You see? They’re always such poopers. So which one looks good?”