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  1. #1
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    Default Choose From Magic, Combat, Technology, Espionage

    You’re home alone when four women teleport into your home. It’s Hermione Granger (adult version), Wonder Woman, Seven of Nine, and Black Widow (Natasha Romanov).

    “We need you to decide something,” says Hermione, “but first, we need to get all your pesky health problems out of the way. Restoro Perfecto!”

    You’re transformed into perfect mental and physical health, all diseases cured, excess weight lost, and any missing parts regrown (if that applies).

    “If you can do that,” you ask, “why repair Harry’s glasses rather than heal his astigmatism?”

    “Harry’s glasses?” Hermione asks, “Good grief, that was 27 years ago, before I’d even attended my first year.”

    “Even with your spell,” says Seven of Nine, “this person is too far removed from perfection. We must choose another to settle our issue.”

    “Nope,” says Black Widow, “All the data I swiped from the CIA and NSA databanks and ran through your program indicates this person’s profile has the highest probability. Unless there’s a problem with your program?”

    “My program is perfect,” says Seven.

    “Okay,” says Hermione, “we don’t have all day.” She turns to you, “Choose me, and you get all the magical knowledge and prowess of a seventh year Hogwart’s graduate. Plus this magical wand that repairs itself if broken.”

    “Choose me,” says Wonder Woman, “and you get comic-book peak human physical stats, and the equivalent of fifty years experience in each of twelve martial arts from your world: Kickboxing, Tae Kwan Do, Mixed Martial Arts, Jiu-Jitsu, Boxing, Wing Chun, Tai Chi, Aikido, Fencing, Firearms, Wrestling and Pankration.”

    “Holy crap! That’s 600 years of experience! But I’d rather have maybe ten or twenty years of experience at, say, Sinanju, Super-Karate or Kree Pama-style.”

    “Sorry,” says Diana, “only martial arts from your world are on offer. But you also get fifty years experience with meditation, because that's part of the martial arts too, as well as this magical silver lasso. If you wrap it around an inanimate object, that object gets repaired and restored.”

    “Wait a minute,” you say, “isn’t it supposed to be a golden lasso that makes people tell the truth?”

    Diana shakes her head sadly.

    “Getting people to tell the truth on your world is beyond even our most powerful magic. But you could restore old cars and comic books.”

    “Choose me,” says Seven of Nine, “and you get all the knowledge and practical skills of a Star Fleet Academy graduate. Plus, there’s a Federation runabout in orbit, equipped with a Romulan cloaking device and modified with Borg technology for decades-long functionality and self-repair. The entirety of the Federation library is also on board (as of the end of the Dominion War), and a free R2D2 droid.”

    “Choose me,” says Natasha, “and you get combined skill-sets from the four recent James Bond films, consisting of Bond, Quartermaster, LeChiffre, Mister White, Raoul Silva, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Vesper Lynd, and Madeleine Swann. You also get this nifty quantum laptop designed by Tony Stark that’s fifty years in advance of anything on your earth, complete with encryption and decryption programs written by Amadeus Cho and Doug Ramsey. Also, there are two Stark Tech satellites in orbit that link up to your laptop. We call them Odin’s Ravens. You get them too.”

    “And that’s it,” says Hermione, “what’s your choice?”
    Last edited by Shai-Hulud; 09-22-2018 at 11:18 AM.

  2. #2
    The Undead One The Chou Lives's Avatar
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    Potter magic is useful, as is having my own space shipmor spy satirltres. Off tonroll the 1-3 Side dice.

  3. #3
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    The spy stuff.

    It has actual real-world value. (okay, so does the martial arts stuff, but I'm never using even 0.1% of it in a million years, and a good measure of it comes with the spy skills packet anyway).

    And if I sell the laptop I'd probably be rich enough to buy Disney.

  4. #4
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carabas View Post
    And if I sell the laptop I'd probably be rich enough to buy Disney.
    Why would you even think of selling the laptop? You'd only increase the vise-grip of the panopticon state, and it's completely unnecessary to getting rich anyway.

    Consider:

    You've got the computer skills of Quartermaster and Raoul Silva, plus Stark Tech laptop and satellites, plus Cho-Ramsey encryption-decryption. You don't need to sell the laptop in order to get rich or even super-rich.

    That would truly be killing the goose that lays the golden egg.

    In reality, though, you'd never sell it:

    Applying the skill-sets of Bond, LeChiffre, White and Blofeld, you'd realize that after they got your tech, they'd kill you.

    If they even found out about your tech, they'd kill you.
    Last edited by Shai-Hulud; 09-22-2018 at 11:15 AM.

  5. #5
    Incredible Member Sol_M's Avatar
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    Inb4 someone points out the obvious:

    "Choose me, and you get-"

    "I'm married, thank you."


    Sorry, too easy.

    Seriously though, what do they want? That itself would give people pause.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shai-Hulud View Post
    Why would you even think of selling the laptop? You'd only increase the vise-grip of the panopticon state, and it's completely unnecessary to getting rich anyway.

    Consider:

    You've got the computer skills of Quartermaster and Raoul Silva, plus Stark Tech laptop and satellites, plus Cho-Ramsey encryption-decryption. You don't need to sell the laptop in order to get rich or even super-rich.

    That would truly be killing the goose that lays the golden egg.

    In reality, though, you'd never sell it:

    Applying the skill-sets of Bond, LeChiffre, White and Blofeld, you'd realize that after they got your tech, they'd kill you.

    If they even found out about your tech, they'd kill you.
    But I'm not a power-hungry madman who wants to rule the world. I'm quite happy with a regular state-of-the-art laptop.

  7. #7
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol_M View Post
    Inb4 someone points out the obvious:

    "Choose me, and you get-"

    "I'm married, thank you."


    Sorry, too easy.

    Seriously though, what do they want? That itself would give people pause.
    While you're chewing over those issues, R2D2 and I are touring the solar system. I'll send you pics from Mars and Pluto.

    Or how about I have a probe land in your backyard with Martian and Plutonian rocks? You could sell them on e-bay....

  8. #8
    She/Her Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shai-Hulud View Post
    While you're chewing over those issues, R2D2 and I are touring the solar system. I'll send you pics from Mars and Pluto.

    Or how about I have a probe land in your backyard with Martian and Plutonian rocks? You could sell them on e-bay....
    I mean, considering that the people giving you the power were hindered to an extent by real world technology.

    The Star Trek one seems to spit in the face of that more-so than the others.
    Yeah, but if you... man, we're getting into weird analogy territory, like if you disintegrated Superman's arms he wouldn't be able to go "fool! Little did you know that my arms and I are one and can be remade from me!" and will his arms back into being from pure nothingness. - Pendaran

    Arx Inosaan

  9. #9
    Prince of Duckness Beadle's Avatar
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    Diana’s losing this choice hard. I don’t know which of the others I’d pick (I mean just having a Star Fleet med bay would be crazy useful), but it isn’t Diana’s option.

    With the Star Fleet or Espionage options you’d quickly be a trillionaire through hacking, false IDs, shell companies etc. or just by selling SOME of the space tech to NASA.

    And with the magic you could do pretty much whatever you wanted, within Potterverse reason.

    Whereas with Diana’s option you could beat some people up really well. Which you could also do to a slightly lesser extent with the espionage and Star Fleet options, and you could kill them outright with the Potter option.

  10. #10
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    Whereas with Diana’s option you could beat some people up really well.
    You're also a meditation master, if you want to work off your karma.

    And can restore things. So, have a classic wreck towed to your garage, wrap the lasso around it, and the wreck is restored to like-new condition. Resale.

    You'll never become a billionaire, but you've got a living that takes hardly and time while you align your mind, body and soul with the universe.

  11. #11
    Prince of Duckness Beadle's Avatar
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    Even if Star Fleet tech isn’t enough to centre your chakras or whatever, it’s amazing how much being a trillionaire will make you feel at peace with the universe.

  12. #12
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    Even if Star Fleet tech isn’t enough to centre your chakras or whatever, it’s amazing how much being a trillionaire will make you feel at peace with the universe.
    Once you have the Runabout, would you really stay on Earth and collect stuff? I'd be off exploring Alpha Centauri.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    With the Star Fleet ... options you’d quickly be a nrillionaire through hacking, false IDs, shell companies etc. or just by selling SOME of the space tech to NASA.
    "R2D2, have the replicator create ten pounds of gemstones for me."

    "Whistle. Beep. Boop-boop. Whizz."

    "Yeah, that's right. Diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires, the works. And, uh, surf the earth-net for all the sales protocols and stuff. We want insulation and secret accounts and intermediaries and all that...."
    Last edited by Shai-Hulud; 09-22-2018 at 02:15 PM.

  13. #13
    Spectacularly Neurotic Sharkerbob's Avatar
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    I pick whichever one gives me to the ability to kick the Moon out of orbit.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sol_M View Post
    Inb4 someone points out the obvious:

    "Choose me, and you get-"

    "I'm married, thank you."
    "I'm MGTOW, thank you."

    :P

    Sorry, too easy.

    Seriously though, what do they want? That itself would give people pause.
    They clearly want to die the least dignified death possible.


    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    Even if Star Fleet tech isn’t enough to centre your chakras or whatever, it’s amazing how much being a trillionaire will make you feel at peace with the universe.
    And yet, we're told all the time how rich people are miserable.

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

  14. #14
    The Undead One The Chou Lives's Avatar
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    :rolled: Sweet, Technit is..

    Ofvto explore the cosmos, good bye Earth, Indo not I tend to come back.

  15. #15
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Chou Lives View Post
    :rolled: Sweet, Technit is..

    Ofvto explore the cosmos, good bye Earth, Indo not I tend to come back.
    You and R2D2 hanging out just off the rings of Saturn. The morning sun glistens off of ten trillion chunks of multicolored ice....

    Yeah, I'm not coming back either.

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