You Become a Multiversal Sea Captain

[Shai-Hulud]

You start having dreams about the sea, and sailing. Then one Saturday morning you wake up and find your body has been transformed into your ideal physical self, with comic book peak human stats. If you’re over thirty-five, you’ve been deaged to thirty-five.

Following a compulsion you drive to the sea, or book a plane or train there.

On the way there, you realize a dozen skill-sets have been downloaded into your brain and nervous system. Those wacky cosmic plot gods! Why, they just can’t sit still.

You have the combined skills, talents, and experience (but not super-powers) of:

• Prince Caine of Amber (Zelazny)
• Capt. Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribean)
• Capt. Jack Aubrey (Master and Commander)
• Capt. Ahab (Moby Dick)
• Admiral Nelson (our world historical)
• Prince Caspian (Narnia)
• Aquaman (DC, Pre-Crisis version)
• Prince Namor (MU, 616-version)
• Karl Stromberg (Spy/Loved Me, movie version)
• Capt. Bligh (our world historical)
• Capt. Nemo (20,000 Leagues)
• Thor Heyerdahl (our world historical)

When you get to the sea, there’s a great sailing ship waiting for you. As you walk towards it, your attire changes to that of a sea captain.

The ship is the Poseidon, and you are it’s captain.

There’s a sonic boom, and the Silver Surfer lands on your deck.

“You’ve been chosen by the cosmic powers,” he says, “to sail the seas from world to world, universe to universe, on various duties related to the preservation of life, cosmic balance, and existence itself. Sometimes you’ll ferry heroes about. Other times you’ll come rescue them. You may be needed to deliver important artifacts. Basically, keeping the multiverse going takes a great deal of preventive maintainance at the very least and supreme efforts more often than I’d like. You’re part of the team now.

“Unless you decline, in which case, your body returns to what it used to be. You get to keep the skills. Removing them would be more effort than just leaving them in at this point.

“As long as you’re captain of the Poseidon, you don’t age, and you regenerate with an eight hour sleep. So there’s that. And you’ll get an occasional shore leave.

“So what do I tell the Cosmic Hierarchy? Accept or reject?”

[Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh]

I start erecting more defenses is what I do.

[Shai-Hulud]

I start erecting more defenses is what I do.

Actually, since you're already in an underwater city, all you have to do is swim to the surface and the Poseidon is there waiting for you.

This is the perfect job for you, by the way. You have to say yes.

I mean, c'mon!

[Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh]

I just want all these lesser gods to stay outta my city !

Also I mean sure, yes, whatever.

[Ptrvc]

I just want all these lesser gods to stay outta my city !

Also I mean sure, yes, whatever.

You'll have to excuse Cthulhu.

*Whispers* He's got this thing about boats.

[Sharkerbob]

You start having dreams about the sea, and sailing. Then one Saturday morning you wake up and find your body has been transformed into your ideal physical self, with comic book peak human stats. If you’re over thirty-five, you’ve been deaged to thirty-five.

Following a compulsion you drive to the sea, or book a plane or train there.

On the way there, you realize a dozen skill-sets have been downloaded into your brain and nervous system. Those wacky cosmic plot gods! Why, they just can’t sit still.

You have the combined skills, talents, and experience (but not super-powers) of:

• Prince Caine of Amber (Zelazny)
• Capt. Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribean)
• Capt. Jack Aubrey (Master and Commander)
• Capt. Ahab (Moby Dick)
• Admiral Nelson (our world historical)
• Prince Caspian (Narnia)
• Aquaman (DC, Pre-Crisis version)
• Prince Namor (MU, 616-version)
• Karl Stromberg (Spy/Loved Me, movie version)
• Capt. Bligh (our world historical)
• Capt. Nemo (20,000 Leagues)
• Thor Heyerdahl (our world historical)

When you get to the sea, there’s a great sailing ship waiting for you. As you walk towards it, your attire changes to that of a sea captain.

The ship is the Poseidon, and you are it’s captain.

There’s a sonic boom, and the Silver Surfer lands on your deck.

“You’ve been chosen by the cosmic powers,” he says, “to sail the seas from world to world, universe to universe, on various duties of related to the preservation of life, cosmic balance, and existence itself. Sometimes you’ll ferry heroes about. Other times you’ll come rescue them. You may be needed to deliver important artifacts. Basically, keeping the multiverse going takes a great deal of preventive maintainance at the very least and supreme efforts more often than I’d like. You’re part of the team now.

“Unless you decline, in which case, your body returns to what it used to be. You get to keep the skills. Removing them would be more effort than just leaving them in at this point.

“As long as you’re captain of the Poseidon, you don’t age, and you regenerate with an eight hour sleep. So there’s that. And you’ll get an occasional shore leave.

“So what do I tell the Cosmic Hierarchy? Accept or reject?”

What precisely does this entail?

[Shai-Hulud]

What precisely does this entail?

What isn't clear?

There's a box in your ready-room. A small flag goes up indicating the cosmic powers have sent you a letter. These are you orders.

For example: "Sail to these coordinates on Marvel Earth-1789 and pick up Iron Fist and Wolverine. Help them infiltrate Magneto's island volcano base to recover the Hoary Helmet of Horrors before Gorgomelech is summoned by it." And so forth, whatever.

You're working for the multiverse now.

[Sharkerbob]

What isn't clear?

There's a box in your ready-room. A small flag goes up indicating the cosmic powers have sent you a letter. These are you orders.

For example: "Sail to these coordinates on Marvel Earth-1789 and pick up Iron Fist and Wolverine. Help them infiltrate Magneto's island volcano base to recover the Hoary Helmet of Horrors before Gorgomelech is summoned by it." And so forth, whatever.

You're working for the multiverse now.

Meh. I already got a transdimensional, underground, flying library fortress, but I guess I could use some holiday money.

[Shai-Hulud]

Meh. I already got a transdimensional, underground, flying library fortress, but I guess I could use some holiday money.

Sea battles often involve sword-fights, so there's that. Why say "no" to a life of sword-fights when you've got the skills to win?

[Sharkerbob]

Sea battles often involve sword-fights, so there's that. Why say "no" to a life of sword-fights when you've got the skills to win?

I guess I could actually use this belt of swords I wear instead of pants at some point.

[Güicho]

You start having dreams about the sea, and sailing. Then one Saturday morning you wake up and find your body has been transformed into your ideal...

I yam Popeye, and kicks everyone's patoot on da' list.

[MrSandman]

*Smashes the ship into R'yleh, hopped up on all the best multiversal drugs, wearing a modified Admiral Hat with nachos, dip and beer cans loaded on it, while the entire deck is loaded with rum*

Silver Surfer: What are you doing....

Sandman: I'MMA CATCH TEH GRAT RED WAHLE, CHUNGTHOULU!!

Silver Surfer: ....we need a better screening program...

Sandman: *Kicks the rum barrels overboard* C'MON YE SQUWID! I JUS WANA TIE YE TA MA BOW! YE GET TA DO DA SHIRP RAMMBIN! IZA SWEET GIG *hic*

[Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh]

*Smashes the ship into R'yleh, hopped up on all the best multiversal drugs, wearing a modified Admiral Hat with nachos, dip and beer cans loaded on it, while the entire deck is loaded with rum*

Silver Surfer: What are you doing....

Sandman: I'MMA CATCH TEH GRAT RED WAHLE, CHUNGTHOULU!!

Silver Surfer: ....we need a better screening program...

Sandman: *Kicks the rum barrels overboard* C'MON YE SQUWID! I JUS WANA TIE YE TA MA BOW! YE GET TA DO DA SHIRP RAMMBIN! IZA SWEET GIG *hic*

*Cthulhu comes out of his home in a speedo*

What do you want ?

[Shellhead]

Sailor on the Seas of Fate sounds like a cool job, but I would decline and just keep the skills.