300 Spartans Get Backup

[Lazzlo304]

The Spartans have enlisted more help pre- their fight with the Persians. Their Following Recruits;

-Achilles
-Conan the Barbarian and Red Sonja
-The Scorpion King
-Jason and the Argonauts
-Spartacus
-Hercules
-Maximus
-King Arthur
-Alexander The Great
-Aragorn and the Fellowship
-Jack Sparrow and Crew
-Zorro
-Robin Hood
-Lancelot

Each Character is film composite but in their most recent film look.

Bonus: They must go to war with Sauron

[Arsenal]

They held off the Persians by themselves.

I imagine they beat the Persians pretty handedly with some back up

[MindofShadow]

As long as someone has the idea to go ahead and let the deformed hunchback fight in battle (and die quickly) then they are good right lol?

So basically turn off PIS

[wjowski]

How exactly do they 'go to war' with Sauron? Are the armies of Sauron attacking at Thermopylae? Because a big part of the Spartans' success against Persia was geography.

Either way everything falls apart once the Witch King shows up.

[Ptrvc]

Composite film Hercules might be able to do this himself. Is this only live-action films, I hope?

Otherwise Disney Hercules tosses multi-ton boulders at the Persians till they're be all dead.

[k von doom]

The Spartans sit it out while their backup steamrolls the Persians.

If the group fights Sauron, they also win. Sauron was beaten by a normal guy with a sword; Achilles can easily replicate the feat.

[Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh]

They held off the Persians by themselves.

I imagine they beat the Persians pretty handedly with some back up

There were actually around 1,400 there. Not just the Spartans. Unless this is the film Spartans, in which case, yes.

[sfgiantsfanmike]

The Spartans have enlisted more help pre- their fight with the Persians. Their Following Recruits;

-Achilles
-Conan the Barbarian and Red Sonja
-The Scorpion King
-Jason and the Argonauts
-Spartacus
-Hercules
-Maximus
-King Arthur
-Alexander The Great
-Aragorn and the Fellowship
-Jack Sparrow and Crew
-Zorro
-Robin Hood
-Lancelot

Each Character is film composite but in their most recent film look.

Bonus: They must go to war with Sauron

Those poor Persians, what did they ever do to you?

As to the Sauron part I don't remember exactly how strong he was but since you said film and didn't restrict it I'm assuming Hercules and Arthur are allowed their Fate/Stay Night - Heaven's Feel counter parts? If so they duo him with little problems.

[big_adventure]

Two little comments:

1. Hercules being included means shit like being physically strong enough to make the straights of Gibraltar BY HAND. That happened on screen. The rocks on both sides really are called the Pillars of Hercules. He can likely no-sell Sauron, is a MUCH better fighter and can certainly punch the guy's head straight off of his body.

2. Achilles' spear toss in the film was completely ridiculous and probably worthy of Bullseye or any other individual. He launched it hundreds of meters, by hand, it hit a dude galloping on a horse dead in the neck, and launched the dude off of a horse backwards as if he'd run to the end of a chain. The second best warrior of the age (well, OK, we can get into a discussion as to whether Big Ajax was better as well, but whatever), Hector, looked absolutely terrified by that result; literally stopping his horse mid-charge. I'm not saying that it would let him kill Sauron or anything, but let's not undersell the feat.

[Sol_M]

While the spear throwing was clearly a feat beyond what real world humans are capable of, I doubt it covered hundreds of meters. It's also not bullseye level crazy, anyone with super strength could do roughly the same thing.

It's still an impossible throw though, and stated to be such in the movie itself, IIRC.

Not that it matters, because while Achilles was portrayed as an almost invincible, superhuman warrior in the movie, he's dealing with a 14 foot tall, heavily armored giant mace wielding dude that literally swats armored soldiers around like flies from the force of his blows. It's hilariously beyond anything he's ever dealt with. Achilles don't want none of that.

Arguing that he'll somehow snipe the armored ring finger clear off without ever getting hit is just unrealistic.

You could give him the ability to make an unlimited number of steel tipped spears teleport into his hand and he'd probably still lose. He has a better chance of killing Sauron by turning him into a pin cushion than he has of cutting off his finger with a spear throw.

[big_adventure]

While the spear throwing was clearly a feat beyond what real world humans are capable of, I doubt it covered hundreds of meters. It's also not bullseye level crazy, anyone with super strength could do roughly the same thing.

It's still an impossible throw though, and stated to be such in the movie itself, IIRC.

Not that it matters, because while Achilles was portrayed as an almost invincible, superhuman warrior in the movie, he's dealing with a 14 foot tall, heavily armored giant mace wielding dude that literally swats armored soldiers around like flies from the force of his blows. It's hilariously beyond anything he's ever dealt with. Achilles don't want none of that.

Arguing that he'll somehow snipe the armored ring finger clear off without ever getting hit is just unrealistic.

You could give him the ability to make an unlimited number of steel tipped spears teleport into his hand and he'd probably still lose. He has a better chance of killing Sauron by turning him into a pin cushion than he has of cutting off his finger with a spear throw.

Oh, I'm not making the argument that he'd be able to cut off Sauron's finger with a toss. I was just commenting on how insane the toss was and that it shouldn't be undersold. It shouldn't be oversold either, of course. :-)

And here, really, the "good" guys just need to get Herc engaged with Sauron. As much as Achilles doesn't want any part of Sauron, Sauron doesn't want any part of Hercules. Sauron makes a nice slow mace swing towards Herc, Herc catches the mace, and shoves it up Sauron's ass and pulls the trigger until it goes "click."*

*Or something.

[Pendaran]

2. Achilles' spear toss in the film was completely ridiculous and probably worthy of Bullseye or any other individual. He launched it hundreds of meters, by hand, it hit a dude galloping on a horse dead in the neck, and launched the dude off of a horse backwards as if he'd run to the end of a chain. The second best warrior of the age (well, OK, we can get into a discussion as to whether Big Ajax was better as well, but whatever), Hector, looked absolutely terrified by that result; literally stopping his horse mid-charge. I'm not saying that it would let him kill Sauron or anything, but let's not undersell the feat.

Beaten to it, but there's a whole lot of exaggeration in this post. No, this performance is not worthy of Bullseye when the only thing that is notable about it in some posthuman sense is the sustained force of the throw. The exposed, unarmored area it hit was sizable enough just fine. No, hundreds of meters is going way overboard.

It is not underselling the feat to state that it is worth nothing as far as Achilles doing anything to Sauron.

[Sol_M]

Oh, I'm not making the argument that he'd be able to cut off Sauron's finger with a toss. I was just commenting on how insane the toss was and that it shouldn't be undersold. It shouldn't be oversold either, of course. :-)

Absolutely, it's one of Achilles' best feats, it's just not all that impressive relative to his opponent.

And here, really, the "good" guys just need to get Herc engaged with Sauron. As much as Achilles doesn't want any part of Sauron, Sauron doesn't want any part of Hercules. Sauron makes a nice slow mace swing towards Herc, Herc catches the mace, and shoves it up Sauron's ass and pulls the trigger until it goes "click."*

*Or something.

That's a completely different fight. I'm honestly not sure what people are debating at this point, but I was mostly addressing the Sauron vs Achilles thing.

Hercules renders everyone else irrelevant of course.