Originally Posted by
FluffyCyclopsRLZ
In fractious times, Cyclops torture is the ultimate unifier.
Boom-Boom: "So, I've been thinking about that Phoenixy pacemaker of yours."
Cyclops: "What about it?"
Boom-Boom: "No, you're not... Cyke, we talked about the whole Riggs/Murtaugh thing. If I'm about to say slash suggest something outrageous, you're supposed to start freaking out or whining about being too old."
Cyclops: "What's outrageous about my pacemaker?"
Boom-Boom: "Of the phoenixy variety."
Cyclops: "Yeah, I'm not saying that out loud, ever."
Boom-Boom: "Worth a try. Seriously, though. You're totally not getting that your actual heart is pretty much the Phoenix' property and that the only way to separate you two would be to pretty much break it? Your heart, I mean. Well, the Phoenix too, I guess? Doesn't matter. The point is, shipping wars over, right? Phoenix wins, ladies and gents. Well, Phoenix loses, I suppose. No offense, but your dating track record is pure suck. Now would be a good time to act slightly hurt or something, just an FYI."
Cyclops: "What's a shipping war?"
Boom-Boom: "'Shipping as in relationships. You know, shipping wars. "
Cyclops: "....................."
Boom-Boom: "How do you not know this stuff? Gawd, you're killing me, here, Cyke. The stiff, clueless, endearingly trollable sidekick template has serious potential and I'm totally not giving up, but, I don't know, maybe I set the bar too high? We should start with something easier. How about you being the Anna to my Elsa?"
Cyclops: "....................."
Boom-Boom: "Well?"
Cyclops: "I get the reference. I'm just trying to figure out how that particular analogy could apply to us in any way."
Boom-Boom: "It doesn't. Just wanted to put it out there that you'd make a fabulous Disney princess."
Cyclops: "....................."
Boom-Boom: "Seriously? Nothing?"
Cyclops: "Merely assuming you meant that as a compliment and powering through it, really. Mmm."
Boom-Boom: "What? Am I actually getting through to you? Like, at all?"
Cyclops: "No, it's not that. Wouldn't Anna Marie and Kitty work better?"
Boom-Boom: "What?"
Cyclops: "The Frozen analogy. Anna Marie as Elsa and Kitty as Anna. Right?"
Boom-Boom: "....................."
Cyclops: "Guess that's just me. Never mind, then."
Boom-Boom: "Oh my god that's the meanest thing anyone has ever said about anyone ever. Kitty is going to freak out."
Cyclops: "What?"
Boom-Boom: "Cyke, how did you actually not get that folks aggressively don't give a crap about Anna?"
Cyclops: "I thought she was..."
Boom-Boom: " Frozen casting Part 1, peeps. Scott says Anna Marie for Elsa. OMG, right? Yay or nay?"
Cyclops: " I really don't think folks care that much ab..."
Boom-Boom: "Yay, yay, Roguey nerd squealing, yay, yay, your crazy ex claiming you never said anything that nice to her and you're an ungrateful jerk and she hates you for not calling, yay, yay, Logan warning Remy that you're making a move on his girl, okay that's just too funny, yay, yay..."
Cyclops: "Wait, what?"
Boom-Boom: "Oh, don't worry, Remy is all 'say whaaaat?' Yay, yay, your other crazy ex going on about her all new, all different relationship. OMG, we know, freak the efff out over Roguey being the awesomest Elsa ever of GTFO, gawd. Yay, yay, no, it's me, Cyclops doesn't tweet, yay, yay, nay, oh, come on, Hank, you're just being petty on principle, yay, yay aaannnddd... truckloads of more yays, basically. Alright Scott, I think we can safely establish you were totally right."
Cyclops: "Oh no..."
Boom-Boom: "Frozen casting Part 2. Scott says Kitty for Anna. Too true, right? Yay or nay? Yay, yay, death threats from Kitty, yay, yay, Peter laughing his ass off, yay, yay, the other Peter laughing his ass off, yay, yay, wait, there's another Peter? Whatevs. Yay, yay, your crazy ex laughing her ass off and totally forgiving you for not calling, yay, yay, more death threats from Kitty, yay, yay, your other crazy ex not shutting up about her all new, all different relationship. OMG, Lucas, please take her phone away, Gawd. What do you mean she won't let you? Yay, yay, nay, seriously, Hank, didn't we have this conversation like 2 minutes ago, yay, yay, Cyclops was right, yay, yay, hashtag StopItCyclopsWasWrong, yay, yay, Five billion dollars bounty on your head, more yays and holy crap, fastest hundred millions followers ever. Niiiice. Oooooh, this is going to be fuuun."
Cyclops: "....................."