Saotome Ranma (Ranma 1/2) VS Senator Armstrong (Metal Gear Rising)

[The Drunkard Kid]

I'm ASSUMING the Buddha was stone, as I'm pretty sure it would have been hollow if it were metal?

We are talking about a world where they raise superhuman sumo pigs, practice Martial Arts Rythmic Gymnastics, sell power armor that leeches battle aura in mail order catalog, and repair massive shattered Buddha statues practically overnight (since that was the second time that Kumon Ryu chopped up that same Buddha statue, IIRC). I assume nothing.

[The Drunkard Kid]

I would like to see them compare scholastic sports careers with one another.

Armstrong: "What do you mean, you did rhythmic gymnastics, tea ceremony, figure skating, competitive eating, and GODDAMN CHEERLEADING!?"

Ranma: "It's... I mean... Okay, there were some, y'know, extenuating factors involved... Look, just watch the videos of my matches."

An hour later:

Armstrong: "Holy... Alright, I'm a big enough man to admit that Japanese cheerleaders are a bit more... intense... than the ones that came to my games. Do you at least plan to join the army when you get older?"

Ranma: "Nah, the army that I beat up that time that I invaded China didn't really make military service seem all that attractive, y'know?"

Armstrong: "What the HELL did the Patriots put in Japan's water?"

[BitVyper]

Armstrong: "What the HELL did the Patriots put in Japan's water?"

The Saotomes.

[The Drunkard Kid]

The Saotomes.

Genma: "In my defense, Nerima was a nuthouse long before I got there.

[Sharpandpointies]

Armstrong: "What the HELL did the Patriots put in Japan's water?"

Jyusenko. ^_^

[BitVyper]

MGS/Ranma AU where the patriots use Jusenkyo to make Big Boss clones

[Sharpandpointies]

"Ah! Is legendary Spring of Drowned Big Boss! Very tragic story!"

[BitVyper]

And then he just says "LA LI LU LE LO. LA LI LU LE LO."

[jetengine]

Weirdly I give this to Armstrong on something we're overlooking.

His charisma and Ranmas....well....uh...lack of intelligence.

Armstrongs an incredibly charismatic guy who was a shoe in to win the presidency and has managed to convert war profiteers to his cause just with his ideas. All he needs to do is throw his weird Liberterian/Mad Max utopia idea at Ranma and frankly I could see him signing up. Raiden only told him to **** off because he's a world weary soldier who's seen the horrors that this kind of ideology and politics can create. Ranmas kind of an idiot outside of Martial Arts.

[Sharpandpointies]

I would consider this in a scenario, but it's not - it's an arena fight, bloodlust, and Ranma is going to be bonzo (and intelligently) attacking from the start.

Every time Armstrong opens his mouth, he's going to find his own hand stuffed into it or something along those lines. ^_^

[The Drunkard Kid]

Weirdly I give this to Armstrong on something we're overlooking.

His charisma and Ranmas....well....uh...lack of intelligence.

Armstrongs an incredibly charismatic guy who was a shoe in to win the presidency and has managed to convert war profiteers to his cause just with his ideas. All he needs to do is throw his weird Liberterian/Mad Max utopia idea at Ranma and frankly I could see him signing up. Raiden only told him to **** off because he's a world weary soldier who's seen the horrors that this kind of ideology and politics can create. Ranmas kind of an idiot outside of Martial Arts.

???

Ranma's an idiot when it comes to romance, but he's also shown to be a clever and sarcastic (mostly harmless) conman who enjoys winning by tricking his opponents instead of directly fighting them in many situations, and Armstrong's "everyone for themselves, might makes right" policy goes completely against Ranma's own inclination and training to protect the weak, especially since everyone he knows that already essentially follows that policy is an ******* who tries to kill/molest/rape/enslave/etc... him.

[The Drunkard Kid]

Also, how good is Armstrong's Japanese, since in a scenario match, even though he had traveled the world his entire life, I doubt that Ranma is going to be too receptive to a political diatrabe in a language that he's only fairly satisfied with his high school grades in. Especially considering that, since Ranma isn't already familiar with the Patriots and their machinations, Armstrong would likely come across as a conspiracy theorist.

[Sharpandpointies]

Good points, Kid.

Ranma is not exactly a stellar school student, so I don't feel he's particularly well-versed in English. Certainly not enough to follow an accented guy talking about fairly complex stuff.

[BitVyper]

In a scenario, no one in Nerima gets more than about three seconds into a monologue before someone either tries to kill or marry them. Ranma will be too busy dealing with the fact that Kuno just showed up with cursed catprint pyjamas that make you go on dates with the ghost of their previous owner's dead goldfish, then Ryoga showed up and saw something that looked like Ranma assaulting Akane, which Shampoo heard and assumed the marriage is off so now she's there trying to get the pyjamas and so on and so on. Meanwhile, Armstrong somehow winds up taking Hinako to an amusement park.

[BitVyper]

**** wait Armstrong sees the Happo Go En Satsu and like that could be a game changer in terms of energy production or something, or whatever. It's super efficient energy transferal, so he needs to get Hinako to teach it to him, and because this is Takahashi town he has to TRICK her into teaching it to him, but she can't focus on anything for more than like three seconds at a time so he ends up taking her to arcades and amusement parks and whatever else and hijinks happen and then somehow it all ends in the most pathetic way possible for him.