NFL 2019 Off-Season thread

[GindyPosts]

Patriots have improved their roster off s Super Bowl winning team and you have them tied for worst record among the 12 playoff teams

Yeah, if anything, the Pats should be around 12-4 and the rest of the AFC East should be 5-11 and worse. Heck, I think Buffalo and the Jets could vie for a one or two win season.

[worstblogever]

Back to the mix of Football previews from Drew Magary... it's Why Your Team Sucks: The Cincinnatti Bengals



From Bengals fans:

Eric: "Mike Brown has to die at some point. That’s the only unifying point of hope the city has in the team."

Cameron: "My top moment as a Bengals fan, and maybe as a sports fan in general, was being in attendance to see Vontaze Burfict intercept Landry Jones in the playoff catastrophe of January 9th, 2016. Since I am a delusional fan of a cursed team, I knew we had this game in the bag. People around me were crying and hugging each other because they are just like me when it comes to Bengals fandom.

You know what happened next. I hate this team."

Brian: "The Bengals are notoriously frugal, so Mike Brown grabs bottom-five tackle Bobby Hartand third string TE CJ Uzomah to 3 year deals. It’s the same as asking your dad for an inflatable pool in this heat wave and he fills the garbage can up with a hose."

Garret: "Surely Ryan Finley is the antithesis of Andy Dalton, right? Scouting report says he is a “game manager” with a “below average arm” and “not a dual threat”.

*WALKS RIGHT THE F*** INTO TRAFFIC*"

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah, if anything, the Pats should be around 12-4 and the rest of the AFC East should be 5-11 and worse. Heck, I think Buffalo and the Jets could vie for a one or two win season.

Well lets see ...

In 2018
Miami - bad
Buffalo - worse
Jets - worst

I think in 2019 it will be
Jets - bad
Buffalo - worse
Miami - worst

[BeastieRunner]

Brady signed a 2-year, not really 2 year, extension. The new deal includes a provision that does not allow NE to franchise or transition tag him for the 2020 season. The final two years automatically void on the last day of the 2019 league year, but he cannot be tagged. Brady will be a free agent at the end of this season.

He's getting $30 million in 2020 and $32 million in 2021. Brady’s average salary equal $28.3 million.

$28.3 million.

28.3.

28-3.

Don't let Brady's new contract distract you from the fact that the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead.

Brady is still trolling Hotlanta.

[Deathstroke]

Brady signed a 2-year, not really 2 year, extension. The new deal includes a provision that does not allow NE to franchise or transition tag him for the 2020 season. The final two years automatically void on the last day of the 2019 league year, but he cannot be tagged. Brady will be a free agent at the end of this season.

He's getting $30 million in 2020 and $32 million in 2021. Brady’s average salary equal $28.3 million.

$28.3 million.

28.3.

28-3.

Don't let Brady's new contract distract you from the fact that the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead.

Brady is still trolling Hotlanta.

You gotta admire the sly way he does it though.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

So i watched former Raiders LB Kirk Morrison discuss JaMarcus Russell and the early warning signs he'd be a bust. In fact the 2nd story illustrates perfect on why he failed.

- An annual event for Raiders was the rookie show where rookies drafted would do a sketch of some kind. Russell held out til his deal was done. So he finally came into camp and was told he had to do the rookie show.

Everyone is waiting excited for this and suddenly Russell takes a huge wad of cash like $5 grand n throws it into air making it rain. Morrison said he grabbed about $100 bucks there and everyone was like....ok i guess.


- The 2nd story though is more bad. John DePhillpa was the QB coach of Raiders there. He helped Carson Wentz one season as QB coach when team won a Super Bowl 2-3 seasons ago.

Anyhow he walks up to Russell and hands him a DVD telling him to take it home and study the 20 plays n see what works best for his skill set.

The next day Russell is asked by John , hey JaMarcus what plays do you like best ? What ones work best for you ? Russell replies "All of them..." each time as the QB coach is like which one is your favorite though ?

Morrison reveals the QB coach handed Russell a blank DVD to test to see if he'd watch it.

[Scott Taylor]

Yah Russell really did have phenomenal physical talent, but no heart. His drafting was the last big mistake of Al Davis. I guess he is back in his hometown of Alabama now doing a job at his former high school working with the QBs. Should be pretty easy - just tell them to not do anything he did.

[worstblogever]

Yah Russell really did have phenomenal physical talent, but no heart. His drafting was the last big mistake of Al Davis.

Well... second to last. Darius Heyward Bey in the Top 10 was also pretty stupid.

[worstblogever]

We're headed up north for a stupid f***ing call... it's Why Your Team Sucks: The Green Bay Packers


From Packers fans:

Matt: "I was at a local waterpark (well, THE local waterpark) during the loss to the mighty Arizona Cardinals at Lambeau. The pool boy noticed I was monitoring the game on a TV through the window and periodically asked me for score updates during the game. When I told him the final score, he looked out the window towards Lambeau and said 'McCarthy’s f***ing gone.' Beav was of course completely stunned to be fired that very day. In other words, something that was blindingly obvious to even a pool boy making $9 an hour totally caught Beav off guard, which if you think about it is a perfect description of the last 10 years of the Rodgers era. The Rodgers Packers right now are basically the 1995 Marino Dolphins."

Valerie: "I’m not sure even Aaron Rodgers could name his top three wide receivers, and I’m pretty sure I’ll still be doing roster-checks in the 3rd or 4th game of the season."

Another Matt: "It took us thirteen years to fire a guy who would skip team meetings to get a massage (and he didn’t even get the full Robert Kraft)."

[The Big G]

Hardknocks is back

Oh my Raiders

Abram is going to have all the WRs gunning for him now XD

[Hiromi]

Aparently Antonio Browns's foot issue is caused by frostbite he got by not wearing proper footwear in a cryogenic chamber

[WestPhillyPunisher]

From the sports section of my local fishwrap: the odds on the first coach to get the chop:

Jon Gruden, 3-1
Pat Shurmur, 6-1
Matt Patricia, 10-1
Bill O'Brien, 12-1
Dan Quinn, 12-1
Doug Marrone, 15-1
Jason Garrett, 18-1
Mike Zimmer, 18-1
Adam Gase, 20-1
Brian Flores, 20-1
Ron Rivera, 20-1
Mike Tomlin, 25-1
Kliff Kingsbury, 25-1
Anthony Lynn, 30-1

[BeastieRunner]

From the sports section of my local fishwrap: the odds on the first coach to get the chop:

Jon Gruden, 3-1
Pat Shurmur, 6-1
Matt Patricia, 10-1
Bill O'Brien, 12-1
Dan Quinn, 12-1
Doug Marrone, 15-1
Jason Garrett, 18-1
Mike Zimmer, 18-1
Adam Gase, 20-1
Brian Flores, 20-1
Ron Rivera, 20-1
Mike Tomlin, 25-1
Kliff Kingsbury, 25-1
Anthony Lynn, 30-1

I'd swap Gase and Patricia.

[Surf]

From the sports section of my local fishwrap: the odds on the first coach to get the chop:

Jon Gruden, 3-1
Pat Shurmur, 6-1
Matt Patricia, 10-1
Bill O'Brien, 12-1
Dan Quinn, 12-1
Doug Marrone, 15-1
Jason Garrett, 18-1
Mike Zimmer, 18-1
Adam Gase, 20-1
Brian Flores, 20-1
Ron Rivera, 20-1
Mike Tomlin, 25-1
Kliff Kingsbury, 25-1
Anthony Lynn, 30-1

I feel Billy O in Houston ought to have some longer odds. The owner has passed and I'm not sure if Smith was the O'Brien guy or the owner but as far as his QB whisperer tag that hasn't ever really happened. Then too the actual Horse Whisperer might didn't whisper to blind, crippled or crazy horses I guess as what's been put in front of O'Brien. They still haven't signed Clowney have they? Other than that the Texans still ain't **** though. They could win 12 games AND have Luck poke himself in the eye with a stick and if they ever met in the playoffs, home or in Indy that's a loss. I maybe switch him and Garrett. Garrett has put in the work on this 'yes man' game he and Jerruh play and arguably they are closer now to- not a Superbowl exactly but strongly competing in the lEAST at this point, can't stop now.

[worstblogever]

On the day the team's top WR calls out the owner for being a Trump donor... it's... Why Your Team Sucks: The Miami Dolphins



From Dolphins Fans:

Matt: "The last QB to take us to a playoff win was Jay Fiedler."

Kyle: "The Dolphins are sentient mediocrity whose only relevance in the last 20 years was a gimmick offense that worked for roughly half a season."

Kyle: "The entire roster looks like the Thanos Snap actually took place.

Ryan Fitzpatrick showed up to camp weighing just less than a commercial shipping vessel.

The leaders in every major offensive statistic from last season are gone.

The two most talented athletes to ever be associated with this franchise are the Williams sisters and it’s not even close."

Carlos: "The first thing I thought of when I heard Kendrick Norton lost an arm in a car accident is at least he didn’t have to suffer the indignity of putting on a Dolphins uniform this season. F*** this team."