Come up with a Batman story!

[Vakanai]

Just for fun let's say DC gave you a shot to write your own Batman story, but it had to follow these rules:

1. It can take place at any point in Batman's career just as long as nothing in it contradicts current continuity (and yes, it has to be in current continuity).
2. You can use any characters (supporting or villains) you want just as long as Batman is the main character throughout the story.
3. You can tell whatever sort of story you want, but at the end of your story everything has to return to the current status quo. No using this as a chance to "fix" things you don't like with where the current comics and Batfamily are at.
4. You have to be able to fit your story in 6 issues or less.

What kind of Batman story would you tell?

[Timothy Hunter]

I saw Batman at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[Batman1970]

^^^ o k.

[Jackalope89]

Bruce was getting old. He didn't like to admit it, but running... Okay, power walking with a cane through the streets of Gotham was not exactly very effective. Alfred's ghost had yet to move on, and still insisted on looking after the manor. Though there were times he forgot to open the door with a tray in hand. Needless to say, it was good Alfred couldn't die again, else he would die from embarrassment. For the kids, well, Dick was a father, twice over. With the Tamaranean Starfire. A girl and boy, both of which exhibited signs of their maternal family. The girl, like her father, was in the Teen Titans and hoped to run it. While her brother instead looked to help metahumans.

The disconcerting part, was that Dick had introduced him as "grumpy grandpa".

Bruce also swore Dick was hiding his Batman outfits. Or he was taking them out into Gotham himself. Neither of which made him happy. But Dick had gotten good at distracting him with Mar'i and Jake by regaling them with stories from his younger years. Next thing Bruce knew, he was waking up on the couch with either one beside him.

Jason had finally calmed down, and played the "cool uncle" to Dick's kids. Though some of the presents Jason had given to them over the years were... concerning. A notebook that had been called "List of People that Hurt Mar'i" on it. Bruce was certain Jason would keep a close eye on those contents. And Jake got a leather jacket that Bruce was certain had kevlar lining.

Tim ran Wayne Enterprises, officially. Though still insisted Bruce was the real head, at least to the Board of Directors.

Cass ran a dancing school, and took great pleasure in it. And while her speech had no noticeable flaws anymore, she always managed to guilt one of the others into studying with her. Bruce suspected she had ulterior motives though, but what could she want with spending time with the others outside of patrol?

Steph helped Cass by steering kids to her school, but otherwise worked as a student counselor for troubled youth. Particularly in the Narrows.

Damian had, surprisingly, taken up Dick's role as Nightwing. Not quite as "open" as Dick, but Damian took to the role wholeheartedly. But Bruce still noticed Damian eyed on the Batman suit more than once. And his son now ran an animal sanctuary. It took some time to convince him not to free every animal he came across, but it was good work.

Duke now worked as a Detective. And thanks to his being familiar with many, he was liked better than many a detective had been since Jim Gordon himself first got the badge. Bruce made sure no known dirty cops tried to influence him.

Kate had taken a role in the Pentagon, particularly helping out with groups like NCIS solve crimes.

Barbara, like her father before her, had become Police Commissioner of Gotham. Her father's work and legacy had meant so much to the people, it had been strange to NOT vote in another Gordon. And though she herself wasn't Batgirl anymore, she had passed the mantle on to another...

And, surprise surprise, he and Selina apparently had a little too much fun back in the day. His youngest, and Damian's half-sister, Helena, had the traits of both him AND Catwoman. Though, without a lot of the cat puns. Already running around as Batgirl, she was headstrong, stubborn, and a sense for justice that left Bruce puzzled at where she got it from.

[BruceWayneJr.]

I've dreamt up a few Batman:TAS episodes over the years:

Ra's al Ghul tempts Poison Ivy on his satellite to create a death spore that wipes out humanity. Ivy has a change of heart in the end and helps Batman stop him.

Bruce and Dick go undercover to stop Red Claw in an exotic European locale. Red Claw tells Bruce her tragic origin, romance kindles. Batman and Nightwing shut her operation down leaving Red Claw heartbroken and confused

In a riff on the Bane of the Demon storyline, Batman gets an anonymous tip that Bane is working with Ra's al Ghul in Gotham. Bane vows to replace Batman as Ra's ideal heir and win Talia's heart. Batman stops him and the audience learns in the end that Ubu sent the anonymous tip

[Batmanquestion]

Well with today’s cgi technology wise
I would make a movie that at the beginning we see Christopher Nolan has still retired as Alfred (Michael Cain) returns home to Bruce Wayne’s estate - he sits down has a cup of tea with “ Morgan Freeman ect Fox and says.

Alfred
Well,I guess it’s all over now.

Fox replies with a funny look on his face

Fox
Well not exactly.

Alfred
What do you mean?

Fox grins

CUT TO
INT - Foxes lab

Fox brings Alfred to the back of the lab and pulls a cloth from a dome structure.

Alfred
What is this?

Fox
That’s what I thought and then I opened it.

Fox opens the dome, as freeze mist immits from it
As the frozen nitrogen mist clears - there in front of them (and audiences) eyes
“Is a cgi young Micheal Keaton with his arms folded. He has been frozen in ice and within the capsule beside him is the original Batman movie costume also. Alfred is gasping

Alfred
Oh my god

Fox
You got that right

Film cuts to opening credits as the new Batman franchise launches again now with the original and the best micheal Keaton back as Batman again. The Batman logo appears and a new story begins.

Cut to
Fox laughing

[Mutant God]

1. Joker kidnaps orphans and tortures them both physically and mentally until they start to become like him so he can have his Joker family battle the Bat-family.

2. Riddler puts riddles on different social media sites to lay out his next heist/scheme.

3. Mad Hatter successfully hypnotizes Commissioner Gordon into having the police attack Batman and other vigilantes in Gotham,

[Jackalope89]

Bruce becomes a half decent father to his kids on a permanent basis.

I know, I know. Its asking for a miracle, but still. Would be nice to see it outside of fanfictions for once. And it would require having more emotions than a brick, but I think it may be doable. Depending on the writer.

[Restingvoice]

I'd like a power ranking or threat level of all Batman villains without fanboy bias, starting with the most popular ones.
Ra's and The Parliament is global
The Court is city wide
Where is Joker, Riddler, Two-Face, Clayface, Freeze, and so on in this.

I defaulted to an Arkham breakout, but you know what, I want to actually see how they break out in the way that make sense, to how they escape the island, to how they contact their goons on the outside, to how they rebuild their base, where they get their funds and weaponries, before going to the actual crime. Often time, especially with The Joker, they kinda just skip from breakout to already robbing banks or killing someone. I want to see the day to day process.

[Jackalope89]

I'd like a power ranking or threat level of all Batman villains without fanboy bias, starting with the most popular ones.
Ra's and The Parliament is global
The Court is city wide
Where is Joker, Riddler, Two-Face, Clayface, Freeze, and so on in this.

I defaulted to an Arkham breakout, but you know what, I want to actually see how they break out in the way that make sense, to how they escape the island, to how they contact their goons on the outside, to how they rebuild their base, where they get their funds and weaponries, before going to the actual crime. Often time, especially with The Joker, they kinda just skip from breakout to already robbing banks or killing someone. I want to see the day to day process.

Reminds me; Clayface is kind of under utilized a lot. Look what kind of chaos he could cause in Gotham at the end of the Rebirth run. Physical attacks and most bullets are useless on him, he can disguise himself as practically anyone, and so much more.

[Yohei72]

I saw Batman at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I would say this is my favorite post I've ever seen on this forum. But part of me feels like I shouldn't encourage this. So I won't.