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  1. #1

    Default You vs. a Mountain Goat

    Like the title says. You. Your actual real world self versus:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_goat
    A Rocky Mountain Goat. An average sized male.

    Arena.

    1: Totally H2H only.

    2: You get a few minutes to grab any hand held weapons from your house or place of residence. NO GUNS ALLOWED. But anything else you can lift above your head is fine.
    "At the end of the day, Arby is a pretty prolific poster proposing a plurality of proper posts for us."
    - big_adventure

  2. #2
    Extraordinary Member The Drunkard Kid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Arbiter View Post
    Like the title says. You. Your actual real world self versus:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_goat
    A Rocky Mountain Goat. An average sized male.

    Arena.

    1: Totally H2H only.

    2: You get a few minutes to grab any hand held weapons from your house or place of residence. NO GUNS ALLOWED. But anything else you can lift above your head is fine.
    Does a blowtorch count as a gun?

  3. #3
    Friendship's Shockwave BitVyper's Avatar
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    But I LIKE goats
    I am a mighty wizard from magic lands

  4. #4
    Legendary God of Pirates Nik Hasta's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BitVyper View Post
    But I LIKE goats
    Well this goat doesn't like you.

  5. #5
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Arbiter View Post
    NO GUNS ALLOWED.
    BEST BUD: You should totally learn to bow hunt, chum.

    ME: Nope. Modern age for me. Firepower is where it's at. Look at these new shells I just bought....

  6. #6
    Friendship's Shockwave BitVyper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nik Hasta View Post
    Well this goat doesn't like you.
    He's entitled to his opinion
    I am a mighty wizard from magic lands

  7. #7
    The Undead One The Chou Lives's Avatar
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    1: Lose.

    2: Got a bunch of kitchen blades to Alexander Anderson the goat. Growing up I did a butcher job for like two years. I can drive cleaves through frozen flesh. Which texture wise is like cold ice/rock.


    So yeah goat gets knives in the throat, should die just fine.

  8. #8
    Astonishing Member Lord Falcon's Avatar
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    Default

    Ignore this.

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Drunkard Kid View Post
    Does a blowtorch count as a gun?
    Nope. Fair game.

    Quote Originally Posted by BitVyper View Post
    But I LIKE goats
    This goat doesn't like YOU :P

    Nothing personal. Bloodlust stipulations and whatnot
    "At the end of the day, Arby is a pretty prolific poster proposing a plurality of proper posts for us."
    - big_adventure

  10. #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Falcon View Post
    Ignore this.
    Nope. I will remember and cherish this post forever. Burned into my mind.
    "At the end of the day, Arby is a pretty prolific poster proposing a plurality of proper posts for us."
    - big_adventure

  11. #11
    Astonishing Member Shellhead's Avatar
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    1. I lose.

    2. I wield my machete and katar and have a shot at winning. I would rather have a spear, but it would take me more than a few minutes to find my spearfishing spear head and attach it to a convenient broom handle.

  12. #12
    Astonishing Member
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    Hmm...

    I dunno, he doesn't look that tough to me.

  13. #13
    The Weeping Mod Sharpandpointies's Avatar
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    Fortunately, thanks to a serendipitous purchase lo these many years ago (in, I believe, a thread made by the Watcher), I come equipped with the Inter-dimensional Grapple Gun.

    Battle One: *choof* Awaaay!

    Battle Two: I could take this one, but *choof* Awaaay!

    I have no interest in being killed by or killing a goat.
    Why are we here?

    "Superboy Prime (the yelling guy if he needs clarification)..." - Postmania
    "...dropping an orca whale made of fire on your enemies is a pretty strong opening move." - Nik
    "Why throw punches when you can be making everyone around you sterile mutant corpses?" - Pendaran, regarding Dr. Fate

  14. #14
    Rumbles Limbo Champion big_adventure's Avatar
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    Round 1 is probably 50/50: Do not underestimate the advantage of prehensile thumbs here. Grab the horns, force the head down or back, get around, shoulder/arm between the horns and the back of the neck, choke it out. In between, take pokes at eyes. But, I could miss or get unlucky, and even "slight" gores are going to weaken me a lot.

    Round 2 is more like 99% for me - even just a chair would be enough to effectively guarantee a win. You just need something to foul the horns, basically, and the thing is losing for sure.
    "But... But I want to be a big karate cyborg... ;_;" - Nik Hasta
    "Get off my lawn! ...on this forum, that just makes people think of Cyclops." - Sharpandpointies
    "...makes me think the Night King just says "Screw the rules, I have magic money" when it comes to physics." -Captain Morgan

  15. #15
    Legendary God of Pirates Nik Hasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wjowski View Post
    Hmm...

    I dunno, he doesn't look that tough to me.
    I want it noted that I appreciate this joke.

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