For me,i don't want escapism. I just don't get the strongman resilience from the character or proactiveness. He seems like way too reactionary. I don't see him take charge. Heck! I get that from wonder woman in bvs.they way she smiled when she got punched by doomsday and got back up was badass. So, i guess my problem is this superman isn't badass like allmight or wonder woman.look at, allmight the guy had to teach himself smile after his mentor got killed.so that he can make others feel safe. That doesn't mean he doesn't have his moments of cynicism. Every version of the Superman character has went through anything and everything clark in this movie has went through. So, he is not special. So, why shouldn't clark have any resilient smile and unyielding optmism?
allmight has his moments of cynicism. He tells deku straight up you can't be a hero without powers.it too dangerous and an unrealistic expectation for him. Be a cop or something realistic . But, that moment is not only balanced out but eclipsed by the later moments when all might goes back to being his optimistic self. He says to deku "young man, you can become a hero". We also see the reason for his moment of cynicism. His body got destroyed. His internal organ are mush. We also realise how resilient he is despite the experience.
Death of superman animated movie also had him get beat to bloody pulp. But, he always came back to assure a child its going to be ok. He never let that child know he might die fighting. This superman lacked moments like those. I guess, what i am saying is this superman doesn't have the counterbalance moment or return to usual form moments that can eclipse his moments of cynicism. Those make difference, people begin to think that this is his real self or day to day self if those are not there . A bunch of montages or paper clippings are not enough.if Snyder think these are trivial things.then i think it's a mistake.
Superman's charm and smile are important. It's their way confronting the darkness and providing strength to others when all hell brakes lose.