On this date, in 2014, in 2015, and in 2016, "Crazy/Stupid Republican of the Day" published profiles of former Colorado House of Representatives member Gordon Klingenschmitt, a.k.a. “Dr. Chaps” who in 2014, actually managed to get enough support to be elected in spite of the fact that he is, for lack of a better term, a complete goddamned lunatic. How much of a loon is he? Well, in our first profile, we went in depth on Klingenschmitt, a former military chaplain reprimanded and discharged by the Navy in 2006 for disobeying orders and attending a political protest in uniform. He also apparently while once counseling a rape victim on his vessel, discovered she was a lesbian and immediately stopped helping her through her trauma to restrain her and try to exorcise the demons out of her that were making her gay (I’m serious, he’s bragged about this). Klingenschmitt then took to the airwaves on a cable access show, where he has tried performing long-distance exorcisms on all sorts of famous people to remove demons from them, from liberal celebrities like Madonna, to politicians like President Obama and Texas State Senator Wendy Davis. The latter makes sense when you consider he claims the Bible teaches us to defend ourselves against “left-wing crazies” (I don’t remember Jesus saying that, myself). He also thinks the FCC have loosened guidelines to help demons travel through televisions to “molest and visually rape your children”, that the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. taught us to discriminate against gays, and repeatedly has claimed “Obamacare causes cancer”. Klingenschmitt, despite being pants-s***ingly insane (speaking of which, he has claimed the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” has made gay soldiers have to start wearing diapers from all the gay sex they’ve been having making them lose bowel control, because he’s that charming)… despite being that barking mad, decided to make a run for the Colorado House of Representatives. And just prior to the election, he claimed openly gay Democratic Congressman Jared Polis was “going to join ISIS and start beheading Christians” because seriously, at this point, could he really do anything to come off as more deranged? Within three months of being sworn into office, Colorado House Republicans refused to allow Klingenschmitt to participate in any committees in state government, for fear of what he might say on them, and halfway through his term, he praised the Bundy family for seizing a federal building and called on the judges who tried the case to be executed. He’s called for the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”, arguing that we should “push gay people back in the closet”, which doesn’t make any goddamned sense because the people who have come out of it can’t put that genie back in the bottle at this point, and also claimed that a female Muslim cadet at The Citadel would lead to an increase in female service members being raped because… well, he’s insane, so don’t try to make sense of that. Klingenschmitt’s still going on his cable access show daily, where he continues to insist President Obama is a secret Muslim, argues that God preached against gun-free zones in the Bible, compares same sex marriage to “the yoke of slavery”, said that executives from Planned Parenthood have “blood dripping from their fangs” and blames polling that shows Americans are starting to accept same sex marriage on what else? Massive demonic possession. Mercifully, Klingenschmitt was defeated in his efforts to be elected to the Colorado State Senate in 2016, and hopefully will never, ever even sniff anything close to elected office again so while we’ll peek in from time to time to see what Dr. Chaps is up to over at RightWingWatch.org.


On this date in 2017, “Crazy/Stupid Republican of the Day” profiled Bill Nojay, a former member of the New York State Assembly who was first elected to office in 2012, and seemed to be well on his way to re-election until just a few weeks prior to the 2016 elections, he took his own life rather to go to jail on federal fraud and other white collar criminal charges he was facing (he actually won his primary days after he died). Months after his suicide, the FBI were still trying to sort out his criminal activities, which involved business dealings though out multiple countries across the globe, reached well into the seven-figure range, and were committed even years prior to his first run for office. In fact, it is believed that much of the money donated to a SuperPAC for Nojay’s first run for office was $91,000 looted from an escrow account on a construction project that was never completed for the King of Jordan. Perhaps not coincidentally given all the money the Trump Corporation and Paul Manafort are being investigated for grifting their way through in foreign real estate deals… Bill Nojay endorsed Donald Trump pretty early on in the 2016 elections, gave him advice on where his “lane” would have to be given he had no prior office or military service, urging him to run for Governor of New York instead, and eventually served as the Trump campaign’s New York Co-Chairman. Democrats were respectful following Nojay’s death, unlike their GOP counterparts who when placed in similar situations like with Seth Rich or Vince Foster, would start whipping up conspiracy theories about how the head of the ticket were responsible for his death.