Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 23
  1. #1
    Fantastic Member tbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    431

    Default Do you get hate for being a nerd?

    I live with my father and have my own bedroom. I decided to do my bedroom with a superhero theme. I have posters and pictures of superheroes. I have action figures and little statues of heroes. I have Marvel curtains. My dad is very supportive of this. He lets me know about superhero tv shows that I might like, buys me posters and action figures for Christmas. He said it is a hobby that makes me happy and that is good enough for him. But my aunt moved in about a month ago. She is recovering from an illness and is trying to get back on her feet financially. At times she makes little coments on how I need to grow up and stop reading comics and collection figures because it is a childs hobby.

    Well today was a bad day for the two of us. I have a small bedroom and because of this I have a twin bed. I got tired of looking at my plain boring bedding so I ordered an Avengers sheet set and Spiderman comforter. I saw them and thought these look really cool and will add some color to my bedroom. Man she went nuts. Telling me that was the line. I am acting like a child. I am 38 and need to grow up. I am never going to find a partner if I dont grow up. I got tired of hearing this and we yelled back and forth for a few minutes.

    No I am not dumb. I know a grown man having superhero bed sheets is a little odd. But its what makes me happy. So I dont understand why she flipped out the way she did.

    Do you guys ever get hate for being a nerd or having a nerdy hobby?
    Favorite teams. Avengers, West Coast Avengers, Justice Society of America, Legion of Superheroes.

  2. #2
    Astonishing Member JackDaw's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,484

    Default

    Never hate.

    But a fair amount of leg pulling, of course. And long ago dear old mum gently suggested that I was maybe too old to read comics...but it never came across that she was really worried about it, so it was one of few times I just ignored her advice.

    Really anybody worth listening to will practically always take line “if you enjoy it and it doesn’t hurt others, carry on”.

    Worth thinking..of course...about best way of reducing friction with your Aunt.

  3. #3
    Astonishing Member Phoenixx9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    4,806

    Default

    Sorry you had a rough day, tbaron.

    It is never nice to be on the receiving end of that, especially when you do not deserve it. Many, many people do not understand "Superheroes" and think it is childish. Please remember, your Aunt is probably older ( in that grouping who never got it) and is Ill/recovering. That can take a hard toll on someone, as can the financial worry. While she may have felt the same, probably the wording and tone is more harsh now because of those things.

    I am not a nerd and have never gotten that sort of backlash, but I had friends who did. Rarely do those yelling understand the enjoyment a fan gets from their hobby. I always offered my friends support and tried to help their situations with a few things I write below.

    I say, enjoy your hobby. If you can afford to buy things that give you pleasure, do so. Perhaps over time living with you, your Aunt may come to appreciate you and your hobby. When the opportunity seems right and perhaps she is feeling a little better (or sometimes even when a person is feeling a bit worse can help the situation), you can share some fun facts or what you like about a team or character. You can tell her that reading comics does expand a mind and maybe show her some really good artwork.

    Without knowing you or those involved, it is hard to be more specific, but I hope this helps! You do have support on here.

  4. #4
    A Gentle Woman Mia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    The Corner Office
    Posts
    1,482

    Default

    Depends how you describe being a nerd. A nerd to me is an intellectual person. I've gotten snarky remarks from people sometimes, but since I know it where it's coming from I let it go in one ear and out the other.
    • “You need not be large to be great. What you need is to be open to a Power greater than yourself.”- Rabbi Sacks
    • “If you can’t control your actions, you aren’t quite whole.”- Bruce Wayne (Hush)

  5. #5
    Astonishing Member WillieMorgan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Northwest UK
    Posts
    3,305

    Default

    No, I've never experienced anything like that. I wouldn't stand for it. I must say though that I'm not really the merchandise type. Outside of the comics themselves I actually buy very little superhero related stuff, the odd DVD and that's about it. I'm not a poster/bed-sheets/action figures/collectables type of person. There's absolutely nothing wrong with folks that do enjoy that sort of thing of course.

    I honestly don't want to stir, and I'm certainly not advocating any kind of conflict between the two of you, but your aunt really has no right to move into your house and then suddenly start telling you how to live your life. I hope that you manage to resolve this amicably but I would strongly recommend that you stand your ground and continue living your life and surrounding yourself with whatever makes you happy. She's also playing up to a stereotype in telling you that you'll never find a partner if you continue down the path you're currently living. It's a myth that all super-hero nerds are social pariahs. There are legions of us in loving, committed relationships.

    I'd say stand your ground but try to do so in a non antagonistic way. You aren't in the wrong here.
    "I don't stand for anything. I just crusade against everything I don't stand for."

  6. #6
    Guardian Empress of Earth Tami's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    21,455

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tbaron View Post
    I live with my father and have my own bedroom. I decided to do my bedroom with a superhero theme. I have posters and pictures of superheroes. I have action figures and little statues of heroes. I have Marvel curtains. My dad is very supportive of this. He lets me know about superhero tv shows that I might like, buys me posters and action figures for Christmas. He said it is a hobby that makes me happy and that is good enough for him. But my aunt moved in about a month ago. She is recovering from an illness and is trying to get back on her feet financially. At times she makes little coments on how I need to grow up and stop reading comics and collection figures because it is a childs hobby.

    Well today was a bad day for the two of us. I have a small bedroom and because of this I have a twin bed. I got tired of looking at my plain boring bedding so I ordered an Avengers sheet set and Spiderman comforter. I saw them and thought these look really cool and will add some color to my bedroom. Man she went nuts. Telling me that was the line. I am acting like a child. I am 38 and need to grow up. I am never going to find a partner if I dont grow up. I got tired of hearing this and we yelled back and forth for a few minutes.

    No I am not dumb. I know a grown man having superhero bed sheets is a little odd. But its what makes me happy. So I dont understand why she flipped out the way she did.

    Do you guys ever get hate for being a nerd or having a nerdy hobby?
    If you behave responsibly, if you have a job or are going to school, if in every other sense you are acting like a mature adult, then that is the only thing that matters. If sleeping on superhero bedsheets makes you happy, then go for it. Life is too short to allow anyone to take away your happiness.

    My husband and I, before and after we got married, spent hours together playing arcade and computer games. I introduced him to Manga and Anime and he got hooked on it. We both share a love of stuff like that, that doesn't make us any less adult. And we are both significantly older than you are.
    Original join date: 11/23/2004
    Eclectic Connoisseur of all things written, drawn or imaginatively created.

  7. #7
    Constant in Opal Nine Crocodile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    342

    Default

    Growing up, I did. I also got the talk from my mother about being too old for comics. She tried a different route later, suggesting comic collecting would be OK if I monetized it. That didn't appeal to me. She gave up eventually, and I'll never know if she accepted it or thought she failed in some way.

    Haven't had any grief from others in decades. I've even become the go-to guy for nerdy topics in my office.

  8. #8
    Oni of the Ash Moon Ronin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Here, for now.
    Posts
    949

    Default

    My younger brother is 39, has a massive comic book collection. His apartment is decorated in video games, superhero, and horror movies. He pays for it all him self and lives a happy life. He is not married (says he doesn't want to share his stuff lol) and is find with it but has an active social life . He is an awesome guy and I'm sure you are too. The funny thing that I read is that she said that you'll "never going to find a partner if I don't grow up"... As if that is the meaning of life or something. You be you, and anyone that doesn't understand... Just brush that off.
    Surely not everybody was kung fu fighting

  9. #9
    Extraordinary Member Malvolio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Freeville, NY
    Posts
    7,371

    Default

    When I went away to college, my father threatened to throw out my comic books, but my mother talked him out of it. He still doesn't quite get it, but I remind him that he likes to bet on sports and Mom has never said anything about it because he knows when to quit. I'm the same way. I buy fewer comics when I have less money, and as to never finding anyone, I now have a longtime girlfriend who likes manga and anime as much as I like super-hero comics. So tell your aunt she doesn't know what she's talking about.

  10. #10
    Fantastic Member tbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    431

    Default

    Thanks for all the feedback. I am feeling better. I had a with my aunt about respecting my life style and beong more respectful since she is living in my house. She did say that she was sorry and promised not to say anything else. Its a sart so I will see if she lives up to it.

    This site is very supportive and I am grateful for that. Thank you all again.
    Favorite teams. Avengers, West Coast Avengers, Justice Society of America, Legion of Superheroes.

  11. #11
    Keeper of the Torch Ravin' Ray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Where the Diwatas and the Triumph Division live
    Posts
    5,674

    Default

    Coming from a science high school, I get awed oohs when others learn my schooling. Never experienced hate. We've had a cousin stay with us for her last year of college because she and my elder sister are the same batch in the same university. Because of the closeness in age (and we're quite close among the cousins) my being a nerd didn't cause me grief.

    That said, in a school of nerds, there are nerd-nerds, and there are jock-nerds.
    Human Torch/Fantastic Four/She-Hulk/Disney Big Hero 6 fanatic, Avatar-maker, and Marvel Moderator
    "一人じゃないから。" AI、『Story』。
    "ヒロ、お前を信じてる。" タダシ、『ベイマックス』。
    Know the CBR Community STANDARDS & RULES

  12. #12
    All-New Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Location
    Florida, US
    Posts
    10

    Default

    Friends and I growing up never really experienced that, but I wasnt necessarily in the "in" crowd either. Now, as an adult, with a family and career, I think there is what someone else called "leg-pulling" from a couple coworkers or other friends I have, but for the most part alot of people I know love the Marvel and DC movies and TV shows, so I kind of became more accepted in the "in" crowd.
    Good luck, and just do your thing. Like everyone said, if you arent hurting anyone, you like it, and you are a responsible adult taking care of things, it shouldnt matter.

  13. #13
    MXAAGVNIEETRO IS RIGHT MyriVerse's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    3,454

    Default

    Never outright hate, but I've been called names for my "weirdness." None of it was recent though, like 40 years ago when in high school. Members of my family still don't understand why I enjoy so many childish things like cartoons and comics, and they just sort of stare blankly and disrespectfully whenever I mention them, but that's the extent of it.
    f/k/a The Black Guardian
    COEXIST | NOEXIST
    ShadowcatMagikДаякѕтая Sto☈mDustMercury MonetRachelSage
    MagnetoNightcrawlerColossusRockslideBeastXavier

  14. #14
    Astonishing Member Joker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    3,594

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tbaron View Post
    But my aunt moved in about a month ago. She is recovering from an illness and is trying to get back on her feet financially.
    I think context is important here. Your aunt obviously isn't going through the best patch in life, and is likely misdirecting anger at you. She may also have genuine concern for you, and because of her situation, be expressing it in the wrong way.

    Not to take her side, but people are complex and don't always realize why they're doing things.

    She also definitely doesn't understand the popularity and acceptance of "nerd culture" with generations younger than her.

  15. #15
    DARKSEID LAUGHS... Crazy Diamond's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    1,447

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Joker View Post
    I think context is important here. Your aunt obviously isn't going through the best patch in life, and is likely misdirecting anger at you. She may also have genuine concern for you, and because of her situation, be expressing it in the wrong way.

    Not to take her side, but people are complex and don't always realize why they're doing things.

    She also definitely doesn't understand the popularity and acceptance of "nerd culture" with generations younger than her.
    Sounds about right. That being said in my culture acting like that is very rude. Your relatives open their home to you when you are in need and your response is to needle and criticize them? That's terrible and unacceptable. At least she apologized.

    I can't recall the last time I ever got shit for liking comics and video games. I got made fun of moreso for how I dressed, social awkwardness, not being straight, and not fitting in a conservative area but reading comics got me positive attention once in awhile. This was around the time that nerd culture was becoming mainstream though with movies like Spider-Man 2 and Batman Begins and manga was becoming more popular too.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •