Serious question...
To what degree do you honestly believe that you or I could steer folks towards that third option?
To me, there is about an " '86 Straight Edge" degree of tolerance for cutting folks slack once you get under a certain age nowadays. I'd agree with you that some apologies should be acceptable, but I don't really think that we are in the majority nowadays. Feels a lot like it's going to be one of the first two most of the time. Ignoring that reality seems like it probably going to put folks in an even worse spot.