men harassing women, and why other men won't say anything?

[Ohnooze]

As for considering "who you're hanging out with", sadly sexual harassment isn't limited to ex-convicts. The #metoo movement exposed that there were problems with widespread sexual harassment not only in entertainment (remember Harvey Weinstein?) but also among professionals such as lawyers and physicians.

This is true. There are those in powerful positions who take advantage. I would never argue against that. But still it's not the norm in most industries. Widespread sexual harassment inside Hollyweird should not surprise anyone though. That one is not a good example as far as I'm concerned. The whole whole industry supports a "if it feels good do it" mentality...and then the public acts so shocked when they find out what a perv Harvey is. And the most awesome part is that most everyone in Hollywood knew...including Oprah! And then they try to grand stand against it like they are some kind of heroes. What a joke.

[Superbat]

This is true. There are those in powerful positions who take advantage. I would never argue against that. But still it's not the norm in most industries. Widespread sexual harassment inside Hollyweird should not surprise anyone though. That one is not a good example as far as I'm concerned. The whole whole industry supports a "if it feels good do it" mentality...and then the public acts so shocked when they find out what a perv Harvey is. And the most awesome part is that most everyone in Hollywood knew...including Oprah! And then they try to grand stand against it like they are some kind of heroes. What a joke.

Sexual harassment against women is common, and so is men underestimating the harassment women have had to deal with it.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...t-women-survey

[Ohnooze]

It’s far more likely to happen to a women walking down the street by herself or in a garage or at a club when her friends aren’t with her.

The fact is, you being around, is probably a big reason why you don’t see it.

What exactly are we talking about here? I mean if you're talking about a guy making a pass at a female then of course it's more common when others are not around. And there is noting wrong with that. If I were single and trying to talk to an attractive female who i may be interested in...well that's how the world works. Relationships start this way every day but unfortunately it's considered "harassment" by some to show any interest in a female these days.

Now if you're talking about someone who says vulgar things to a female in passing or tries to intimidate or something like that....that's a whole different thing.

My point really was that our culture of late seems so focused on social issues that I think people lose perspective. I mean if you listen to some of our media here in the US you would think that a female can't walk down the street without some dude flapping his dingdong at her and yelling "want some of this?".

[KNIGHT OF THE LAKE]

What exactly are we talking about here? I mean if you're talking about a guy making a pass at a female then of course it's more common when others are not around. And there is noting wrong with that. If I were single and trying to talk to an attractive female who i may be interested in...well that's how the world works. Relationships start this way every day but unfortunately it's considered "harassment" by some to show any interest in a female these days.

Now if you're talking about someone who says vulgar things to a female in passing or tries to intimidate or something like that....that's a whole different thing.

My point really was that our culture of late seems so focused on social issues that I think people lose perspective. I mean if you listen to some of our media here in the US you would think that a female can't walk down the street without some dude flapping his dingdong at her and yelling "want some of this?".

I think in either case it’s far less likely to happen with another man around. The pricks doing it aren’t going to risk a social or physical confrontation. To most of my exes or friends who are girls it’s something like them being on a bus, or them walking to a garage, or being in a store or walking by themselves.

Point is. You being around makes it less likely to happen, so you aren’t going to see it as much regardless

[Superbat]

Women do it just as bad. Men just don’t call them out on it because they’d be labeled pussies

The rate of sexual harassment of men by women is not at all close to that of men harassing women. They do not do it "just as bad".

When men are labeled pussies it almost always by other men. It's men that need to sort their **** out.

[KNIGHT OF THE LAKE]

The sexual harassment of men by women is not at all close the men harassing women. They do not do it "just as bad".

When men are labeled pussies it almost always by other men. It's men that need to sort their **** out.

Sorry that’s crap. Women are FAR worse at getting in people’s faces and invading their space. Women cat call men. Go to any club ever and you’ll see women groping guys or feeling up on their muscles. Men just don’t make a thing of it.

[Ohnooze]

I heard two females in the print room at the engineering company I worked at once talking about how they would "just like one night with Mr Kelly" who was a new employee.
They were both married and I said something to them...one got really pissed at me. I got lectured about how long she had been married and how I don't know what I'm talking about. I thought it was funny because if a guy had talked like that....oh hell no!

[MindofShadow]

1. I don't notice it anywhere

2. It isn't any of my business

[Gaelforce]

Okay, guys, let's bring it down a notch.

If you think someone violates the rules, don't respond or, worse, respond in kind. It not only makes clean up trickier for the mods, but it can also get you some time off as well.

Leave the personal attacks out of things and stick to the topic. That includes declarations about everyone who is a particular gender.

[Michael Watkins]

Because people are garbage. No one should be harassed. no one should be made to feel unsafe. But I don't think it's realistic to expect men to come to the defense of women in a society where intervention is much rarer than posting things to YouTube. Aren't men at risk by intervening? We're not any more bulletproof or lawsuit proof than women.

[Michael Watkins]

I heard two females in the print room at the engineering company I worked at once talking about how they would "just like one night with Mr Kelly" who was a new employee.
They were both married and I said something to them...one got really pissed at me. I got lectured about how long she had been married and how I don't know what I'm talking about. I thought it was funny because if a guy had talked like that....oh hell no!

Eh. I hear dirtier stuff than that at work from men and women (I work in a corporate environment). Not sure why you said something to them. You probably made yourself a target for a false allegation. It's less about gender and more about knowing where individual boundaries lie. If a guy reports sexual harassment, the supervisor is required to act. It's not the 80s any more.

P.S. Anectdotely I've seen more of women harassing men and gay males harassing men than the reverse. But I'm, of course, not drawing any larger conclusions from that personal experience. and I'm not even sure that I could define harassment. Is it any unwanted attention or only continued unwanted attention?

[ed2962]

Sorry that’s crap. Women are FAR worse at getting in people’s faces and invading their space. Women cat call men. Go to any club ever and you’ll see women groping guys or feeling up on their muscles. Men just don’t make a thing of it.

Eh...I've been to more than a couple of clubs in my time and my experience was a little different. I'm not saying that women don't engage in such behavior, but I didn't see them being far worse than the men. Having said that, what goes on at certain bars and clubs probably isn't the best place to judge anyway. What's appropriate on the dance floor at a disco isn't always ok in the break room at work.

[ed2962]

I heard two females in the print room at the engineering company I worked at once talking about how they would "just like one night with Mr Kelly" who was a new employee.
They were both married and I said something to them...one got really pissed at me. I got lectured about how long she had been married and how I don't know what I'm talking about. I thought it was funny because if a guy had talked like that....oh hell no!

Them talking about him to themselves might have been vulgar, but it wasn't harassment. Had they said that stuff to his face and made him uncomfortable, it might have been a different story.

[KNIGHT OF THE LAKE]

Eh...I've been to more than a couple of clubs in my time and my experience was a little different. I'm not saying that women don't engage in such behavior, but I didn't see them being far worse than the men. Having said that, what goes on at certain bars and clubs probably isn't the best place to judge anyway. What's appropriate on the dance floor at a disco isn't always ok in the break room at work.

That's fair. I'm just saying that a big part of this is that one group of people is far more likely to raise their voice and be treated well and the other group is ostracized if they think about complaining about it. So here is a massive difference in how society expects men and women to react to the same behavior.

[Tuck]

Them talking about him to themselves might have been vulgar, but it wasn't harassment. Had they said that stuff to his face and made him uncomfortable, it might have been a different story.

If another person is in range of the conversation and doesn't wish to hear that kind of talk at work, it can constitute "Hostile Work Environment" depending on how over-the-line it is and/or if the person expresses discomfort and it continues.