"Everyone knows that Peter loves Mary Jane, but Gwen was his real, true love."

[Kevinroc]

But he was coming at it from the angle of protecting her. You can say from a far removed viewpoint from the outside as a reader "oh, that's not a great representation of trust", but it's very much an in-character thing Peter would do as he believes in his heart it's for the best for the one he loves. I mean, that's basically his relationship with Aunt May and many other close supporting characters. I don't think that undercuts the relationships he has with any of them, and definitely not the strength of his bond with Gwen.

I didn't say it wasn't an in-character thing. In fact, I said...

Oh yeah, MJ had to tell him that she knew he was Spider-Man. And this was, what, years after he had first proposed to her? And even after she told him she knew, he had hoped he could convince her that she was wrong. It was only after she confessed her past to him (which she viewed as trying to make amends for confessing to Peter that she knew his secrets) that he became even the slightest bit comfortable with someone who was supposed to be one of his oldest friends actually knowing his identity.

Peter has a very weird, very naive view of this kind of thing. (This is also why his relationship with Carlie crashed and burned. He couldn't open up to her when she realized the truth and confronted him about it. He still just stood there and lied to her.)

That first time Peter proposed to MJ, he had not told her he was Spider-Man, and clearly had no intention of telling her he was Spider-Man. And this was *undefined period* after Gwen had died. It was *Undefined period* later that she told him she knew he was Spider-Man, and his first instinct was to try to convince her that she was mistaken. Dude had already proposed to this woman *undefined period* and still didn't think he could trust her with his secret identity.

And then there's Carlie. He cared more about trying to protect his secret identity than about Carlie, which made her so angry that she ended the relationship right then and there.

This is a flaw in Peter's character. And I don't think anyone can argue otherwise. He has trouble opening up. And I don't think it's controversial to say that relationships need people to be able to open up for their partner. And if people can't do that, what kind of relationship is that?

(Edit: There's a reason why you see Peter/Gwen presented much differently in adaptations/AUs/etc.)