By personal connection I mean connection to Bruce Wayne directly...i.e. knowing the secret identity and so on. The villain hurting someone the hero cares about is tangential to that. Having everyone Spider-Man comes across knowing both Peter and Spider-Man and so on makes Peter less friendly neighborhood and more guy whom stuff revolves around. It also makes all stories same-y. Like it's like audiences are primed to know okay this is the moment where the villain knows the hero and so on. It becomes ridiculous and basically in the movies Peter should go public.
I mean Into the Spider-Verse has Miles Morales fighting Kingpin, and Kingpin not knowing his secret identity and so on. Kingpin still hurt people Miles cared about but it wasn't out of some personal connection...so that's a way to do it right. ITSV got that right in a way the other movies didn't.