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  1. #1
    Embrace the Fluff FluffyCyclopsRLZ's Avatar
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    Default Uncanny X-Men #22 Spoilers & Review

    I will preface the following by profusely apologizing for suggesting there might have been more to this run than meets the eyes. There isn't. I was wrong. Mea Culpa and all that. Pretty much all the plot points/characterization that made little to no sense are either taken to ridiculous new heights or left untouched.

    That being said, let's go in details over what happened:

    - Dani is going all meta on Scott and whining about being a jerk and how it's his story and the B/C-listers are basically props, waaaahh
    - Alex shows up and gives Scott a pep talk. Scott goes all emo over why Xavier might have chosen him as a leader and how he might not be that guy anymore. The Summers bros respectfully disagree on whether or not hiding sucks. Oh, and Emma's God Mode telepathic stunt can hide power displays in real time. Seriously.
    - Emma and Nemesis discuss how the entire vaccine/comatose children subplot was casually solved off-panel. Nemesis trolls Emma a little over her trying-win-back-ex-boyfriend antics.
    - Wolverine wakes up in full berserker mode and stabs Sinister in the head. Emma is next on his list, but Nemesis and Hope are all "Chill, dude, she's on our side and saved us all. You were totally poisoned last issue, no, really, you were, we're totally not establishing it just now, what's that Emma, that's a dissolving Sinister clone on the floor? Oh, okay."
    - Emma and Nemesis tell Logan about last issue's finale. Logan's response is, quote, "Frost, if you think it's all over... you're an even bigger moron than I thought." I didn't come up with the italics/bolded part, it's right there on the page. Kinda not cool.

    - Surprise, surprise, the Summers bros get attacked by golden Sentinels who can totally identify them as mutants. They can't do crap with their regular powers. Alex is all "I always thought you were the best of us. Don't let me be wrong, okay?" before turning into a Force Ghost because of that evil O.N.E. tech and heroically blowing himself up. No joke here.
    - Callahan shows up at the HFC because his personal psy-shielding tech doesn't suck and throws some serious shade at Emma's minority-erasure plan. He tries to detonate the bomb in her skull, but Emma is all "Ah ha, forever one step behind, I had it removed. Because it totally makes sense you'd implant folks with super advanced/expensive tech that you can't be bothered to track." No, alas, she doesn't actually say that last part.

    - Battle time. Warlox tries to hack the sentinels and reclaim his pieces, but gets blown up for his trouble. [Edit] Cortez gets blown up too, but you most likely didn't notice. [/Edit] Dani is back but doesn't really do anything. Hope helps Warlox hack the Sentinels for real this time and make them forget about mutants. It works. Warlox totally doesn't die for nothing in the arms of a character who was recently whining about not wanting to die for nothing.
    - Oh, wait, Callahan gets all pissy over his Sentinels being glorified paperweights for maybe ten seconds before he overrides the hack and starts targeting the X-Men manually. Just... yeah.
    - The X-Men are pretty much getting their asses kicked. Cyclops comes back and blasts a Sentinel's wrist to save Logan. Emma is all "Scott, you shouldn't have come back", Scott is all "Shut up, patch me through to Logan." and Logan is all [EDIT] "Yo, Warlox and Cortez are, like, super dead. Emma and Mystique are standing around... I dunno, they're standing while Hope and Nemesis are throwing spitballs at those Sentinels."
    - The X-Men are still totally getting their asses kicked. They figure that killing Callahan won't stop the Sentinels, but basically go 'Meh, might as well'. Madrox gallantly offers himself as the next heroic sacrificial meatbag and offers an army of dupes to cover Logan. It works. Wolverine kills the crap out of Callahan. For whatever reason, Madrox Prime actually went on that suicide run with his dupes. Just... yeah.

    - Scott and Logan are all 'we can't beat'em, it was an honor to fight by your side, nu huh, the honor was mine'. No, they don't kiss.
    - Whaddaya know, the X-Men chose that very moment to arrive and save the Uncanny crew. Storm get the 'To me, my X-Men.' Good for her. Didn't read the Omega. I'm guessing Jean didn't get it because of whatever speech she just gave?
    - Scott is having a Heroic BSoD over the X-Men not being dead, Logan is all 'Dude, we gotta help!', but Kurt and Kitty teleport in and Kurt is all 'Naw, you guys look like crap, we've got this.' The elf isn't lying. Storm & Cie are kicking Sentinel ass and taking names. On a purely anecdotal level, they assigned a line that was clearly meant for Logan to the wrong set of boots.

    - Trolling time. Okay, this is the big one. One can only assume Jean's had enough of the rectangle BS, because she basically walks out of an actual inferno, makes a beeline for Scott - walking right by Logan/Emma in the process - and starts a serious make-out session with Scott while Logan/Emma are standing, like, four feet away. Surreal.

    - Jean takes Scott's visor off because of course. Jean briefly explains the freakshow that was AoXM and how Dani was sort of into it. Scott seems kinda angry Dani might've known about the others being alive, but she sets the record straight and it's totally cool. Piotr and Lorna are all 'Where are Yanna/Alex' but they're basically ignored because they're Piotr and Lorna.
    - Scott is all 'woooaaah, dude, us being forgotten forever instead of being dead, that's what Blindfold was going on about'. Storm is all 'yo, the cops and media here' and Jean is all 'I'll shield us while... woaahhh, they don't even see us'.
    - Emma explains what she did and how she's given them all a chance to start over/disappear/survive/find happiness. Scott is all 'Efff this, hiding is for chumps.' Dani, in a hilarious WTF move, suddenly decides that Emma's plan sucks.
    - Scott is all 'I can't make the choice alone, but that's how I feel about tragedy/history and chumps who won't enforce it, who's with me', Magneto is all 'We're totally with you, brah', Logan is all 'Duuude, they're totally going to declare war on us, man', Jean gives Scott a crazy-ass "Efff it, let'em try' look and Scott (very) rudely blasts the actual Deus Ex Machina while Emma's holding it.
    - The cops on the scene are all 'Woah, what the... That's the X-Men!' Then Scott responds to Logan's previous comment with 'We have always been at war' while the X-Men indulge in one of the most awesomely ridiculous group shot ever.

    Review: The issue looked great, was actually fun to read, but holy hell does it make for a frustrating experience if you're trying to make sense of basically everything that preceded it.

    Hilarious Grey-Summers make-out session aside, I honestly can't think of a single plot thread that ended on a sensical/satisfactory note. The Sinister clone, maybe?
    Last edited by FluffyCyclopsRLZ; 07-18-2019 at 11:14 AM.

  2. #2
    Ultimate Member Gray Lensman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FluffyCyclopsRLZ View Post
    I will preface the following by profusely for suggesting there might have been more to this run than meets the eyes. There isn't. I was wrong. Mea Culpa and all that. Pretty much all the plot points/characterization that made little to no sense are either taken to ridiculous new heights or left untouched.

    That being said, let's go in details over what happened:

    - Dani is going all meta on Scott and whining about being a jerk and how it's his story and the B/C-listers are basically props, waaaahh
    - Alex shows up and gives Scott a pep talk. Scott goes all emo over why Xavier might have chosen him as a leader and how he might not be that guy anymore. The Summers bros respectfully disagree on whether or not hiding sucks. Oh, and Emma's God Mode telepathic stunt can hide power displays in real time. Seriously.
    - Emma and Nemesis discuss how the entire vaccine/comatose children subplot was casually solved off-panel. Nemesis trolls Emma a little over her trying-win-back-ex-boyfriend antics.
    - Wolverine wakes up in full berserker mode and stabs Sinister in the head. Emma is next on his list, but Nemesis and Hope are all "Chill, dude, she's on our side and saved us all. You were totally poisoned last issue, no, really, you were, we're totally not establishing it just now, what's that Emma, that's a dissolving Sinister clone on the floor? Oh, okay."
    - Emma and Nemesis tell Logan about last issue's finale. Logan's response is, quote, "Frost, if you think it's all over... you're an even bigger moron than I thought." I didn't come up with the italics/bolded part, it's right there on the page. Kinda not cool.

    - Surprise, surprise, the Summers bros get attacked by golden Sentinels who can totally identify them as mutants. They can't do crap with their regular powers. Alex is all "I always thought you were the best of us. Don't let me be wrong, okay?" before turning into a Force Ghost because of that evil O.N.E. tech and heroically blowing himself up. No joke here.
    - Callahan shows up at the HFC because his personal psy-shielding tech doesn't suck and throws some serious shade at Emma's minority-erasure plan. He tries to detonate the bomb in her skull, but Emma is all "Ah ha, forever one step behind, I had it removed. Because it totally makes sense you'd implant folks with super advanced/expensive tech that you can't be bothered to track." No, alas, she doesn't actually say that last part.

    - Battle time. Warlox tries to hack the sentinels and reclaim his pieces, but gets blown up for his trouble. Dani is back but doesn't really do anything. Hope helps Warlox hack the Sentinels for real this time and make them forget about mutants. It works. Warlox totally doesn't die for nothing in the arms of a character who was recently whining about not wanting to die for nothing.
    - Oh, wait, Callahan gets all pissy over his Sentinels being glorified paperweights for maybe ten seconds before he overrides the hack and starts targeting the X-Men manually. Just... yeah.
    - The X-Men are pretty much getting their asses kicked. Cyclops comes back and blasts a Sentinel's wrist to save Logan. Emma is all "Scott, you shouldn't have come back", Scott is all "Shut up, patch me through to Logan." and Logan is all "Yo, Warlox is dead. Cortez has either left or gotten himself killed off panel. I don't know, who cares."
    - The X-Men are still totally getting their asses kicked. They figure that killing Callahan won't stop the Sentinels, but basically go 'Meh, might as well'. Madrox gallantly offers himself as the next heroic sacrificial meatbag and offers an army of dupes to cover Logan. It works. Wolverine kills the crap out of Callahan. For whatever reason, Madrox Prime actually went on that suicide run with his dupes. Just... yeah.

    - Scott and Logan are all 'we can't beat'em, it was an honor to fight by your side, nu huh, the honor was mine'. No, they don't kiss.
    - Whaddaya know, the X-Men chose that very moment to arrive and save the Uncanny crew. Storm get the 'To me, my X-Men.' Good for her. Didn't read the Omega. I'm guessing Jean didn't get it because of whatever speech she just gave?
    - Scott is having a Heroic BSoD over the X-Men not being dead, Logan is all 'Dude, we gotta help!', but Kurt and Kitty teleport in and Kurt is all 'Naw, you guys look like crap, we've got this.' The elf isn't lying. Storm & Cie are kicking Sentinel ass and taking names. On a purely anecdotal level, they assigned a line that was clearly meant for Logan to the wrong set of boots.

    - Trolling time. Okay, this is the big one. One can only assume Jean's had enough of the rectangle BS, because she basically walks out of an actual inferno, makes a beeline for Scott - walking right by Logan/Emma in the process - and starts a serious make-out session with Scott while Logan/Emma are standing, like, four feet away. Surreal.

    - Jean takes Scott's visor off because of course. Jean briefly explains the freakshow that was AoXM and how Dani was sort of into it. Scott seems kinda angry Dani might've known about the others being alive, but she sets the record straight and it's totally cool. Piotr and Lorna are all 'Where are Yanna/Alex' but they're basically ignored because they're Piotr and Lorna.
    - Scott is all 'woooaaah, dude, us being forgotten forever instead of being dead, that's what Blindfold was going on about'. Storm is all 'yo, the cops and media here' and Jean is all 'I'll shield us while... woaahhh, they don't even see us'.
    - Emma explains what she did and how she's given them all a chance to start over/disappear/survive/find happiness. Scott is all 'Efff this, hiding is for chumps.' Dani, in a hilarious WTF move, suddenly decides that Emma's plan sucks.
    - Scott is all 'I can't make the choice alone, but that's how I feel about tragedy/history and chumps who won't enforce it, who's with me', Magneto is all 'We're totally with you, brah', Logan is all 'Duuude, they're totally going to declare war on us, man', Jean gives Scott a crazy-ass "Efff it, let'em try' look and Scott (very) rudely blasts the actual Deus Ex Machina while Emma's holding it.
    - The cops on the scene are all 'Woah, what the... That's the X-Men!' Then Scott responds to Logan's previous comment with 'We have always been at war' while the X-Men indulge in one of the most awesomely ridiculous group shot ever.

    Review: The issue looked great, was actually fun to read, but holy hell does it make for a frustrating experience if you're trying to make sense of basically everything that preceded it.

    Hilarious Grey-Summers make-out session aside, I honestly can't think of a single plot thread that ended on a sensical/satisfactory note. The Sinister clone, maybe?
    Nemesis trolling anyone he talks to is perfectly in character. Hey, even a broken watch is right twice per day, right?
    "Theory: The Phoenix doesn't corrupt the characters, it corrupts the authors." Gambit, King of Thieves

  3. #3
    Mighty Member Glio's Avatar
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    It has been terrible but that's it, it's all over, no more suffering, no more cliche, just looking to the bright future that awaits us.

  4. #4
    Kinky Lil' Canine Snoop Dogg's Avatar
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    Havok is fucking ash.

    tag the movie made me cry

  5. #5
    Incredible Member Lucyinthesky's Avatar
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    I liked the issue but I felt it lacked a little in the character work imo Jean should not be so quick to forgive Scott but I give her a pass maybe she just wanted to get her point across to Logan and Emma and missed Scott a lot but I hope they get to talk about the issues in their relationship sooner rather than later.

    I would have liked to see a more menacing Mr Sinister but I guess Callahan was the big bad of the story.

    lol at how so matter at fact they are at this point about death, "Oh Scott and Logan are back, thatīs nice"

    I think if Rosenberg didnīt have to make way for Hickman he propbably would not have used so many deaths during this run, I will miss Loa, Blindfold, Ilyana even Havok but I hope to see them soon back.
    Last edited by Lucyinthesky; 07-17-2019 at 12:57 PM.
    "The time for subtlety is passing. Now is the time for change." [New Mutants (Vol. 1) #38]

  6. #6
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    Somehow I knew you would deliver a pitch-perfect summary, Fluffy.

    If I thought Rosenberg and editorial took the book as seriously as you are doing it now, it could even be enjoyable. Oh, well, we'll always have Chamber cursing Scott with his last breath just because.

    Anyway, you were wrong about something (Xavier being involved and manipulating everyone) and I was wrong about something (they're not going to put Jean & Scott together with one issue), but that's because we made the terrible mistake of not assuming everyone involved wouldn't make literally the worst possible choices in every single chance they got.

  7. #7
    Fantastic Member Maestro 216's Avatar
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    *Jean Grey Shrug*.jpeg

  8. #8
    Mighty Member Glio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucyinthesky View Post
    I liked the issue but I felt it lacked a little in the character work imo Jean should not be so quick to forgive Scott but I give her a pass maybe she just wanted to get her point across to Logan and Emma and missed Scott a lot but I hope they get to talk about the issues in their relationship sooner rather than ter.

    I would have liked to see a more menacing Mr Sinister but I guess Callahan was the big bad of the story.

    I laughed at how so matter at fact they are at this point about death, "Oh Scott and Logan are back, thatīs nice" XD

    I think if Rosemberg didnīt have to make way for Hickman he propbably would not have used so many deaths during this run, I will miss Loa, Blindfold, Ilyana even Havok but I hope to see them soon back.
    Banshee is in the preview of HOX just fine...

  9. #9
    Astonishing Member Askani's Flame's Avatar
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    I think the only edit I have is they did show Cortez dying on panel. It took me a few but when Warlox gets targeted and blasted, you see him ducking but taking damage but the dude behind him getting full on melted is Cortez. I only realized because of the headgear he was wearing lol.

    But yeah, I can't make any sense of this run. And maybe that's the point? But he definitely went over with his kill quota in this book.

  10. #10
    Astonishing Member stormphoenix's Avatar
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    I loved it.

    I liked when Storm came in with reinforcements.
    I liked when Jean just walks up and kissed Scott ignoring Logan and Emma in the process. LOL talk about a Slap to the face HAHA :-)
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  11. #11
    Embrace the Fluff FluffyCyclopsRLZ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glio View Post
    It has been terrible but that's it, it's all over, no more suffering, no more cliche, just looking to the bright future that awaits us.
    It's really too bad we didn't find out what happened to Elixir, Marrow and those other mutants (criminals, but still) Emma and Mystique gave up to a whackjob who puts bombs inside people's heads. It's really too bad we'll never know why O.N.E. can't be bothered to track the bombs it puts inside people's heads. It's really too bad we'll never know why Emma couldn't be bothered to use her God Mode telepathy to locate Yana and tell her to sit the efff down. It's really too bad we'll never know why Shan didn't bother calling Dani and ask her WTF was going on with the world. It's really too bad we... eh, you get the idea.

  12. #12
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    Other than Polaris, he basically killed off X-Factor. What a mess.

  13. #13
    Embrace the Fluff FluffyCyclopsRLZ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Askani's Flame View Post
    I think the only edit I have is they did show Cortez dying on panel. It took me a few but when Warlox gets targeted and blasted, you see him ducking but taking damage but the dude behind him getting full on melted is Cortez. I only realized because of the headgear he was wearing lol.
    Looking at it right now. Good catch. I thought it was just supposed to be a slow-mo repeat of Warlox getting blasted or something. Editing right now.

  14. #14
    Astonishing Member AHRNIHAL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FluffyCyclopsRLZ View Post
    Review: The issue looked great, was actually fun to read, but holy hell does it make for a frustrating experience if you're trying to make sense of basically everything that preceded it.
    Tell you what.. Your review is 10 times fun to read than the actual book.
    "I think what's been messed up about Cyclops is that he's the guy who believes. Charles has a dream, he believes in an idealized world. It's the other guy, the soul of it... that's who Cyclops is."

  15. #15
    Fire and life incarnate! phoenixzero23's Avatar
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    My favorite part was when Jean and Scott kissed, they haven't interacter for so long and the las time they existed together they were having trouble so nobody believes they actually like each other but they do, they have a long story of doing it. That kiss was hot and funny.
    sd.jpg
    Ranking of favorite characters
    Phoenix/Jean, Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm

    My ships: Jean/Scott, Wanda/Vision, Scott/Logan, Rogue/Gambit, Storm/Black Panther.
    I have very biased opinions and i like to voice for the things i like but I'm not trying to deppreciate other things. The line is thin and blur sometimes.

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