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    Embrace the fluff FluffyCyclopsRLZ's Avatar
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    Default Uncanny X-Men #22 Spoilers & Review

    I will preface the following by profusely apologizing for suggesting there might have been more to this run than meets the eyes. There isn't. I was wrong. Mea Culpa and all that. Pretty much all the plot points/characterization that made little to no sense are either taken to ridiculous new heights or left untouched.

    That being said, let's go in details over what happened:

    - Dani is going all meta on Scott and whining about being a jerk and how it's his story and the B/C-listers are basically props, waaaahh
    - Alex shows up and gives Scott a pep talk. Scott goes all emo over why Xavier might have chosen him as a leader and how he might not be that guy anymore. The Summers bros respectfully disagree on whether or not hiding sucks. Oh, and Emma's God Mode telepathic stunt can hide power displays in real time. Seriously.
    - Emma and Nemesis discuss how the entire vaccine/comatose children subplot was casually solved off-panel. Nemesis trolls Emma a little over her trying-win-back-ex-boyfriend antics.
    - Wolverine wakes up in full berserker mode and stabs Sinister in the head. Emma is next on his list, but Nemesis and Hope are all "Chill, dude, she's on our side and saved us all. You were totally poisoned last issue, no, really, you were, we're totally not establishing it just now, what's that Emma, that's a dissolving Sinister clone on the floor? Oh, okay."
    - Emma and Nemesis tell Logan about last issue's finale. Logan's response is, quote, "Frost, if you think it's all over... you're an even bigger moron than I thought." I didn't come up with the italics/bolded part, it's right there on the page. Kinda not cool.

    - Surprise, surprise, the Summers bros get attacked by golden Sentinels who can totally identify them as mutants. They can't do crap with their regular powers. Alex is all "I always thought you were the best of us. Don't let me be wrong, okay?" before turning into a Force Ghost because of that evil O.N.E. tech and heroically blowing himself up. No joke here.
    - Callahan shows up at the HFC because his personal psy-shielding tech doesn't suck and throws some serious shade at Emma's minority-erasure plan. He tries to detonate the bomb in her skull, but Emma is all "Ah ha, forever one step behind, I had it removed. Because it totally makes sense you'd implant folks with super advanced/expensive tech that you can't be bothered to track." No, alas, she doesn't actually say that last part.

    - Battle time. Warlox tries to hack the sentinels and reclaim his pieces, but gets blown up for his trouble. [Edit] Cortez gets blown up too, but you most likely didn't notice. [/Edit] Dani is back but doesn't really do anything. Hope helps Warlox hack the Sentinels for real this time and make them forget about mutants. It works. Warlox totally doesn't die for nothing in the arms of a character who was recently whining about not wanting to die for nothing.
    - Oh, wait, Callahan gets all pissy over his Sentinels being glorified paperweights for maybe ten seconds before he overrides the hack and starts targeting the X-Men manually. Just... yeah.
    - The X-Men are pretty much getting their asses kicked. Cyclops comes back and blasts a Sentinel's wrist to save Logan. Emma is all "Scott, you shouldn't have come back", Scott is all "Shut up, patch me through to Logan." and Logan is all [EDIT] "Yo, Warlox and Cortez are, like, super dead. Emma and Mystique are standing around... I dunno, they're standing while Hope and Nemesis are throwing spitballs at those Sentinels."
    - The X-Men are still totally getting their asses kicked. They figure that killing Callahan won't stop the Sentinels, but basically go 'Meh, might as well'. Madrox gallantly offers himself as the next heroic sacrificial meatbag and offers an army of dupes to cover Logan. It works. Wolverine kills the crap out of Callahan. For whatever reason, Madrox Prime actually went on that suicide run with his dupes. Just... yeah.

    - Scott and Logan are all 'we can't beat'em, it was an honor to fight by your side, nu huh, the honor was mine'. No, they don't kiss.
    - Whaddaya know, the X-Men chose that very moment to arrive and save the Uncanny crew. Storm get the 'To me, my X-Men.' Good for her. Didn't read the Omega. I'm guessing Jean didn't get it because of whatever speech she just gave?
    - Scott is having a Heroic BSoD over the X-Men not being dead, Logan is all 'Dude, we gotta help!', but Kurt and Kitty teleport in and Kurt is all 'Naw, you guys look like crap, we've got this.' The elf isn't lying. Storm & Cie are kicking Sentinel ass and taking names. On a purely anecdotal level, they assigned a line that was clearly meant for Logan to the wrong set of boots.

    - Trolling time. Okay, this is the big one. One can only assume Jean's had enough of the rectangle BS, because she basically walks out of an actual inferno, makes a beeline for Scott - walking right by Logan/Emma in the process - and starts a serious make-out session with Scott while Logan/Emma are standing, like, four feet away. Surreal.

    - Jean takes Scott's visor off because of course. Jean briefly explains the freakshow that was AoXM and how Dani was sort of into it. Scott seems kinda angry Dani might've known about the others being alive, but she sets the record straight and it's totally cool. Piotr and Lorna are all 'Where are Yanna/Alex' but they're basically ignored because they're Piotr and Lorna.
    - Scott is all 'woooaaah, dude, us being forgotten forever instead of being dead, that's what Blindfold was going on about'. Storm is all 'yo, the cops and media here' and Jean is all 'I'll shield us while... woaahhh, they don't even see us'.
    - Emma explains what she did and how she's given them all a chance to start over/disappear/survive/find happiness. Scott is all 'Efff this, hiding is for chumps.' Dani, in a hilarious WTF move, suddenly decides that Emma's plan sucks.
    - Scott is all 'I can't make the choice alone, but that's how I feel about tragedy/history and chumps who won't enforce it, who's with me', Magneto is all 'We're totally with you, brah', Logan is all 'Duuude, they're totally going to declare war on us, man', Jean gives Scott a crazy-ass "Efff it, let'em try' look and Scott (very) rudely blasts the actual Deus Ex Machina while Emma's holding it.
    - The cops on the scene are all 'Woah, what the... That's the X-Men!' Then Scott responds to Logan's previous comment with 'We have always been at war' while the X-Men indulge in one of the most awesomely ridiculous group shot ever.

    Review: The issue looked great, was actually fun to read, but holy hell does it make for a frustrating experience if you're trying to make sense of basically everything that preceded it.

    Hilarious Grey-Summers make-out session aside, I honestly can't think of a single plot thread that ended on a sensical/satisfactory note. The Sinister clone, maybe?
    Last edited by FluffyCyclopsRLZ; 07-18-2019 at 11:14 AM.

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