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  1. #1

    Default NFL 2019 Season Thread

    All right, the 2019 Off-Season thread is pretty much done, we're two days from Kickoff Thursday, so here's the new thread for a new season where we'll talk about things like...

    Will Patrick Mahomes continue to revolutionalize the QB position in the NFL?
    Will Tom Brady and Bill Belichek continue to flaunt their deal with Mephistopheles that has them win year in and year out?
    Will the Cowboys and Chargers ever get Ezekiel Elliot and Melvin Gordon under contract, respectively?
    Will Jerry Jones ever sound sober again?
    How many times will the Dolphins be a fish "tank" as they try to get the top spot for Tua?
    Will the Giants continue to have WRs legs explode until they just sit Eli Manning for Daniel Jones because they're eliminated early?
    Is Kyler Murray going to bring Arizona back from the bottom of the league?
    How red will Jon Gruden be in the Raiders' last year in Oakland?

    Continue to post your predictions for the next two days, before we get things started...
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  2. #2

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    My predictions for this season:

    AFC East
    1. New England Patriots (12-4): Brady and Belichek, Year... 20. I have no idea how this defense continues to scheme its way into success without a superstar, but just with highly capable guys. The defense actually seems like it's more talented than its been in a few years, with Danny Shelton and Michael Bennett now on board to help up front. On offense, New England is hoping Josh Gordon can stay clean and avoid suspensions, because past him, it's Edelman and Demaryious Thomas (off the scrap heap) and no more Gronk (assuming he doesn't un-retire around Week 9). Seriously, TE is now the Patriots' only weak spot, as Benjamin Watson AND Lance Kendricks are BOTH suspended. They're starting Matt LaCosse, who sounds like he should be a celebrity chef there in Week 1, and now that I've said that, watch him go for 3 TDs and become a Fantasy Football darling. I'm telling you, Belichek has Mephistopheles waiting in the locker room for him to continue to barter every week. They're probably going to be the #1 or #2 seed in the playoffs, given that they still play in a division that's so top heavy, with them at the top.

    2. New York Jets (10-6): I'm almost certain the Jets are going to be one of the most improved teams in the NFL, and there's a chance they might squeak into a Wild Card spot, given how well their off-season went with acquiring folks like oh, LeVeon Bell, Kelechi Osemele, Jamison Crowder, and C.J. Mosely in free agency, and then getting possibly the best player in the draft to play DT, Quinnen Williams. Really, their success is going to depend on if all those additions are enough to help second-year QB Sam Darnold on offense, but he's got to limit his turnovers for them to have a chance. The defense, led by Leonard Williams and Jamal Adams, could be one of the Top 5 in the league this year. Getting 4 games against the Bills and Dolphins helps the Jets' playoff hopes, and they get a midseason slate of games from Week 9-15 against Miami, the Giants, Washington, Oakland, Cincinnatti, Miami again, and then a late season tilt with Baltimore where Mosely will be playing in a revenge game against his former team. Mind you, we're not rubber-stamping the Jets into the playoffs... because second year QBs can frequently regress and winning the offseason isn't necessarily a guideline for getting to the postseason.

    3. Buffalo Bills (6-10): Why are the Bills still a sub-.500 team? Well, their franchise QB does rush for a decent amount of yards... but he completes roughly 51% of his passes. Adding John Brown as a weapon for him... might not help a lot. Brown was renowned for having a case of the dropsies in Arizona, and only slightly improved while with the Ravens. Not having LeSean McCoy in the backfield is going to hurt a LOT, and unless Frank Gore can keep fighting father time, their offense is likely to struggle. Admittedly, Buffalo's front 7 on defense, with guys like Star Lotulelei and Jerry Hughes are going to put the hurt on opposing QBs, so it's not going to be a complete disaster like this team's tailgates. Provided Josh Allen stays healthy, of course, because if he goes down with an injury on one of his scrambles, you're starting Matt Barkley. Good luck with that.

    4. Miami Dolphins (1-15): I was taught to respect the Dolphins growing up by my stepfather, a 'Phins fan who talked about the legendary unbeaten season, Don Shula's win total as a coach, and Dan Marino's arm... and we are a LONG way removed from that this year. The Dolphins had Cameron Wake leave in free agency, and have traded away their starting Left Tackle, their #2 receiver who was feuding with the owner on social media, their starting MLB, and they're going to start veteran journeyman QB Ryan Fitzpatrick and not the #10 pick from last year's draft, Josh Rosen, who they supposedly gave up a 2nd rounder this year to see if he could develop into a franchise QB while Arizona went with the Kyler Murray experiment. What does all that mean? This team will likely explore further liquidating all their decent players to compile draft capital for 2020, and I wouldn't be shocked if another team managed to swing a trade with them for WR DeVante Parker or RB Kenyan Drake, who seem like the only decent players they've got left. The Dolphins still have a bunch of games on their schedule that are winnable, and somehow, they always manage to upset the Patriots when they shouldn't, so I don't think they'll be joining the Browns or Lions in infamy with winless seasons. But they are my team picked to have the #1 pick in next year's draft, hands down.


    AFC North
    1. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5): Okay, so Antonio Brown is gone. LeVeon Bell is now OFFICIALLY gone. All the word out of the locker room is the front office keeps propping up Big Ben to the extent that he's the franchise guy, and if he feuds with another player, they'll let them walk rather than pay them when the time comes. That... does not bode well for this team having a deep playoff run, if that resentment continues to grow. If the Steelers struggle, expect it to be worse. Still, this team has a ton of young talent from the past few drafts, including JuJu Smith-Schuster, James Conner, David DeCastro Cameron Heyward, T.J. Watt, and veterans like Stephan Tuitt and Bud Dupree. If Roethilsberger gets dinged up, Mason Rudolph is the unproven backup. The Steelers still should have enough to win this division, and could win a game or two in the playoffs. Whether they're at the levels of their Super Bowl years, though... that's a whole other story.

    2. Cleveland Browns (8-8): The Browns are another team who had an incredible off-season, and they had a ton of positive momentum down the stretch last year. with Baker Mayfield and Nick Chubb... So add OBJ, Jarvis Landry, Kareem Hunt, and then put Olivier Vernon on a defense with Sheldon Richardson & Myles Garrett... and you start wondering if this team can add enough wins to make the playoffs for the first time in over a decade. Hell, just having even a modicum of faith in their QB is an improvement for this franchise. But do I think with a favorable schedule, that they might make the playoffs? Sigh... I can't believe it. I just can't. The AFC is very top-heavy, an even a favorable schedule where the Browns get the NFC West and AFC East aren't enough to convince me they can do it. Because I've seen too many videos of sad Browns fans to believe they won't disappoint them again. It's their pedigree.

    3. Baltimore Ravens (7-9): Lamar Jackson is another young QB who runs more than traditional signal-callers, and with Willie Snead and rookie WR Marquise Brown, he might want to keep running, or at least dump off the ball to RB Mark Ingram. Baltimore's defense picked up veteran safety Earl Thomas, who flipped Pete Carroll the bird on his way out of Seattle, and gets a revenge game against the Seahawks this year on the road. Other than Pernell McPhee and Tony Jefferson, the D does not instill any of the intimidation it did when Ray Lewis and Ed Reed were out there. Baltimore, on paper, looks like a team that's going to be in the middle of the pack in 2019, much as I've always respected them for putting the hurt on Ben Roethlisberger through his career.

    4. Cincinnatti Bengals (4-12): Marvin Lewis is FINALLY out as coach in Cincinnatti, and cheap owner Mike Brown brought in Zac Taylor, a disciple of Sean McVay on offense who couldn't get the Rams to score a touchdown against the Patriots in the Super Bowl. His QB is Andy Dalton, who still underwhelms everyone in the Jungle, especially in primetime and playoff games. But don't worry, he also already has A.J. Green limping with a foot injury to start the year, so that sure won't affect the offense. Let's say something positive about the Bengals, though... they got rid of Vontaze Burfict, so they'll have one less stupid personal foul penalty against their defense a game. Addition by subtraction, which is fine because Dre Kirkpatrick, Geno Atkins and Carlos Dunlap are actually pretty damned good. Still, the Bengals seem like a team on the down-slide, and if they struggle as much as I think they will, the Red Rifle's days as the starter here could be numbered (but not until next year, because they have a lot of nothing behind him in their QB room).
    Last edited by worstblogever; 09-03-2019 at 05:36 AM.
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  3. #3

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    Predictions for this season, continued:

    AFC South
    1. Houston (11-5): Ok, DeShaun Watson is the real deal. And while they didn't get JaDaveon Clowney resigned, the last minute trade to bring Laramy Tunsil and Kenny Stills from Miami, as well as replacing the injured Lamar Miller with Duke Johnson, and Carlos Hyde... well, it looks like this offense will still be good. It can't be bad with Deandre Hopkins and Will Fuller out there. The Texans have come a long way from the days where they were starting guys throwing a pick-six a game like Matt Schaub and Tom Savage. Even without Clowney, the defense in Houston is still solid up front, provided J.J. Watt stays healthy... which is always the question every season, it seems. Some seasons it's also if Whitney Mercilus can stay clean, but that's a whole other story.

    2. Jacksonville Jaguars (10-6, Wild Card): I'll be damned if Nick Foles doesn't keep impressing when given the chance. And if all he's got to do to earn the status of "the guy" in Jacksonville is "be better than Blake Bortles", he's gonna be fine. Leonard Fournette is healthy again, but the question on offense is if there is any true #1 receiver with Dede Westbrook and Marqise Lee as the main options. Foles has to have someone to throw to for this team to have a chance. The defense, of course, remains loaded, and with a 4th place schedule after a disappointing 2018 season, the Jags are my pick to sneak into the playoffs as a Wild Card, and only on a tie-breaker over the Jets because of a win in Week 8.

    3. Tennessee Titans (6-10): Derrick Henry is a sledgehammer against defenses, make no mistake, but the Titans have the underwhelming Marcus Mariota under center without Taylor Lewan protecting his blind side, and nobody for him to throw to of note except Delanie Walker at TE. I've already seen a lot of talk about how long it will be before Tennessee decides to trot out Ryan Tannehill at QB instead, before looking for an answer for a franchise QB again in the draft next year. The Titans' defense has been overachieving for years, and they added Cameron Wake to aid their pass rush... so they could play .500 ball this year. But with Houston and Jacksonville greatly improved, I don't see them getting up to the 10 wins I think they'd need to make the playoffs in the AFC.

    4. Indianapolis Colts (4-12): Nothing against Jacoby Brissett, but he ain't Andrew Luck, who was Comeback Player of the Year last year and put the Colts back into the playoffs. It's a damned shame, because the Colts have plenty of solid options at the skill positions on offense like Marlon Mack, Eric Ebron, and T.Y. Hilton... but Indy fans are just simply going to be left wondering "what if he didn't retire" which is a truly depressing story for a team to have for a whole season. The wheels won't come off completely, and at least this team will be high enough in the draft to potentially snag one of a pretty decent class of QBs coming out of college in April. Expect them to win some division games when they're not expected to through the year.



    AFC West
    1. Kansas City Chiefs (13-3): I believe in Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs offense. I'd say losing Kareem Hunt would damage their hopes, but they brought in Carlos Hyde & LeSean McCoy... so I think they'll be fine. They still have Tyreek, Kelce, and Sammy Watkins as targets for Mahomes, and one of the best O-Lines in the NFL. The question is... will the defense be any better? It was in the bottom tier last season, and they lost some key veterans with adding just Frank Clark and the Honey Badger several years removed from him having proper knee ligaments... I still have KC as my pick to come out of the AFC for the Super Bowl... but they need to get their D straight or they're going to bow out in the playoffs.

    2. Los Angeles Chargers (11-5): Phillip Rivers is a bit of an a-hole, and he pops out kids like his wife is a Pez dispenser where you tilt her head back and another baby comes out. But on the field, he's always putting the Chargers in position to win. Their offense is good at every spot... except one. The team's failure to get Melvin Gordon to sign his franchise tag offer could hurt, with Eleker as the main back now. If they're going to challenge Kansas City, they'll need Joey Bosa healthy as part of a great defensive line across the board. I'm not crazy about their secondary, either. When they play the Chiefs, it could be one of those 56-51 point shootouts.

    3. Denver Broncos (6-10): You brought in Joe Flacco, who people don't even ask if he's "Elite" sarcastically anymore. Nothing else on their entire offense is noteworthy, save for Emmanuel Sanders. That's... not enough. Especially not in this division. The defense is still fearsome, and has one of the best LB tandems in the league with Bradley Chubb and Von Miller. This team has another secondary I don't trust, though, but if anyone can do a lot with little on the defensive side of the ball, it's Vic Fangio. Expect Denver to be somewhere in the middle of the NFL this season, but not a playoff team, at all.

    4. Oakland Raiders (5-11): Jon Gruden is insane, and may have only wanted to trade for Antonio Brown to make him look more stable, in comparison. The Raiders offseason collected so many malcontents, including friggin' Richie Incognito, who will only play guard for Oakland once he's back from suspension for threatening a funeral home for not decapitating his deceased father so he could keep his dad's head as a keepsake. Their defense has Vontaze Burfict, who as we've discussed, is good for one stupid personal foul penalty a game... which Raider Nation will love. But make no mistake, this team is still in rebuild mode until they get to Vegas.
    Last edited by worstblogever; 09-03-2019 at 11:07 AM.
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  4. #4
    New old guy Surf's Avatar
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    How about the worst team in every division predictions.

    AFC
    North- Bengals. Not sold on Cleveland by any stretch but without Green forgetaboutit. I'll give them 6 wins or less. I got my eye on Baltimore as a division winner this season.
    South- Tennessee. The weakest QB still of the 4 and that's still without Luck, there isn't much else to them and Dear Lord, Tannehill might be a better fit that Mariotta. 4 wins
    East- Dolphins. You have to be at least 40 years old to even have a vague recollection of this team competing for 2 seasons in a row. They might win 3 games.
    West- Oakland. I hope they fail in a spectacular fashion, I'll give them 4 wins.

    NFC
    North- Detroit seems to be odd man out but I feel the NFC will be tighter than the AFC so I still give the Lions a shot at 7 or 8 wins.
    South- Bucs. I thought Winston would be average to good, he's not and I don't think the Bruce routine will work on Jaemis. Hate to see that for Arians but they'll be struggling for 5 wins.
    East- Washington used to be my second favorite team but I finally see a reckoning come to Snyder's 'team'. A truly horrible owner, they'll struggle for 4 wins, I want to put the Giants here but they have to play each other and I can't see even old man Eli loose to this Skins team
    West- I don't like Lynch and I don't care for Grappallo but even with that I don't know if they can run to the bottom of the standings faster than Zona. Too bad too because since they had this upswing past 10 years they've been fun to have on vs. the usual Sunday afternoon suspects.
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  5. #5
    Fantastic Member
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    For the fourth year in a row, the New England Patriots will enter the season without a first round draft pick from the draft on the field:
    They had no pick for 2016 and 2017 - traded away and stripped of the pick
    2018 Isaiah Wynn (pick #23) injured and didn't play a down the whole season, Sony Michael (pick #31) did play and had a solid season
    2019 N'Keal Harry (pick #32) was placed on injured reserve and can't play until at least week 8

  6. #6
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    I'll re-post this from the other thread:

    My final predictions for the season

    AFC East
    1. Patriots 12-4
    2. Jets 6-11
    3. Bills 5-11: Without LeSean McCoy, I no longer care for this team.
    4. Dolphins 3-13

    AFC North
    1. Steelers 11-5: could win it all again, or they could fall apart.
    2. Browns 10-6 *
    3. Ravens 8-8: I hope their first two QB's get hurt so we can see what Trace McSorley can do.
    4. Bengals 5-11

    AFC South
    1. Texans 10-6: must-win season for their coach
    2. Jaguars 9-7: have the talent to do better
    3. Titans 8-8
    4. Colts 7-9

    AFC West
    1. Chiefs 13-3
    2. Chargers 11-5 *
    3. Broncos 6-10
    4. Raiders 4-12

    NFC East
    1. Eagles 13-3- Wentz stays healthy, throws 40 TDs, wins the MVP.
    2. Cowboys 8-8: Their coach gets fired.
    3. Giants 6-10: could win 7-9 games depending on how their QBs play.
    4. Redskins 5-11

    NFC North
    1. Bears 11-5
    2. Vikings 10-6 *
    3. Packers 7-9
    4. Lions 6-10: Will start 0-5, and then play .500 ball the rest of the season.

    NFC South
    1. Saints 12-4
    2. Falcons 9-7
    3. Panthers 8-8
    4. Bucs 5-11

    NFC West
    1. Rams 11-5
    2. Seahawks 10-6 *
    3. Cards 4-12
    4. 49ers 3-13

    Wild Card Playoffs
    Bears over Seahawks
    Rams over Vikings
    Steelers over Browns
    Chargers over Texans

    Divisional playoffs
    Chiefs over Chargers
    Steelers over Patriots
    Eagles over Rams
    Saints over Bears

    Championship games
    Eagles over Saints
    Chiefs over Steelers

    Super Bowl
    Eagles over Chiefs- Eagles beat their old coach and their old RB

  7. #7
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    Altering my predictions a tad from the other thread because Melvin Gordon still isn't in camp and it really looks like he may be a no-show for the first half of the year, at least.

    AFC NORTH
    1. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6)
    2. Cleveland Browns (10-6)
    3. Baltimore Ravens (9-7)
    4. Cincinnati Bengals (6-10)

    AFC South
    1. Jacksonville Jaguars (11-5)
    2. Indianapolis Colts (9-7)
    3. Houston Texans (9-7)
    4. Tennessee Titans (9-7)

    AFC East
    1. New England Patriots (11-5)
    2. Miami Dolphins (8-8)
    3. Buffalo Bills (7-9)
    4. New York Jets (6-10)

    AFC West
    1. Kansas City Chiefs (13-3)
    2. Los Angeles Chargers (9-7)
    3. Denver Broncos (6-10)
    4. Oakland Raiders (4-12)

    NFC North
    1. Chicago Bears (10-6)
    2. Minnesota Vikings (9-7)
    3. Green Bay Packers (8-8)
    4. Detroit Lions (6-10)

    NFC South
    1. New Orleans Saints (12-4)
    2. Carolina Panthers (9-7)
    3. Atlanta Falcons (7-9)
    4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-12)

    NFC East
    1. Philadelphia Eagles (10-6)
    2. Dallas Cowboys (9-7)
    3. New York Giants (8-8)
    4. Washington Redskins (5-11)

    NFC West
    1. Los Angeles Rams (11-5)
    2. Seattle Seahawks (10-6)
    3. San Francisco 49ers (8-8)
    4. Arizona Cardinals (6-10

    Going to get interesting at the end of the season in the NFC, with a bunch of 9-7 teams vying for that last Wild Card spot, but in the end I think it will go to the Vikings yet again.

    WC

    Jville over Colts
    Browns over Pitt

    Vikings over Bears
    Eagles over Seahawks

    Round 1

    Patriots over Jville
    Chiefs over Browns

    Saints over Vikings
    Rams over Eagles

    Champ Round

    Chefs over Patriots
    Rams over Saints

    Superbowl

    Rams over Chefs

    Practically the same scenario as this past year, but a much different path. Plus I think Mahomes will actually beat the Patriots this time.
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  8. #8

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    Predictions for this season, continued:

    NFC East
    1. Philadelphia Eagles (12-4): The entire caveat to the Eagles is... will Carson Wentz stay healthy? Especially now that Nick Foles is gone. But if you look past the QB, the Eagles are loaded, and in a division with what should be 4 easy wins against New York and Washington. Their offense, across the board, has no true weak player in any of the 11. The defense, if it's flawed at all, could stand to have better LB talent and maybe some secondary depth on the bench. But other than that? The Eagles are set up to be the favorites of this divison... if Carson Wentz stays off of IR.

    2. Dallas Cowboys (9-7): Zeke is still holding out. Dak will need to get the ball to Amari Cooper, but until Zeke gets back, he's looking at double coverage every play. Nobody is scared of Jason Witten to double him anymore. This team's #2 receiver is... Allen Hurns? Expect deja vu from the 1990s, when Jerry Jones tried low-balling Emmitt Smith and after Dallas started 0-2 without him, the locker room almost imploded at the front office that they needed him back, and they caved. Oh, I don't trust this defense, at all. I haven't since Parcells left, because it always has a flaw in it, very often when Sean Lee goes out for the year with a leg injury. A slow start without Ezekiel Elliot will be hard for Dallas to overcome, if it isn't resolved quick, and I don't see them getting into the playoff hunt this year as a result.

    3. New York Giants (5-11): They let their best WR go, and all the ones they kept had their knees detonate in a cruel joke. Thus, Eli Manning has almost no one to throw to, save his TE, and could be benched in favor of Daniel Jones, who the media seem to be trying to get behind after laughing at the Giants' front office on draft day when they took him at #6. This defense hasn't developed new talent since Tom Coughlin left and JPP blew his fingers off. The Giants' best friend is what looks like a friendly schedule, but it's not going to get them even close to sniffing .500 ball this year.

    4. Washington R******s (4-12): This team is still trying to compensate for injuries to key players that happened LAST YEAR. They're going to start either Case Keenum with rookie Dwayne Haskins waiting for his turn, which might come fast with nobody worth throwing to except Jordan Reed, if he isn't in concussion protocol. Both Derrius Guice and Alex Smith won't be back for the first month of the season, the latter maybe not EVER. Their starting left tackle refuses to play for Washington ever again because he thinks their training staff is that incompetent, and given how things have gone with them since RGIII was wasted, he might be 100% right. Credit where it's due, their defense isn't too shabby, and maybe I'm only predicting they'll win 3 games because of a combination of what I talked about on their offense, their training staff, and that Daniel Snyder's a huge tool. Or they will just suck that much. Tough call.


    NFC North

    1. Chicago Bears (11-5): I don't believe in Mitchell Trubisky. Yeah, Chicago's offensive line, running back room, and Allen Robinson I like enough... but I do, however, worship at the altar of Khalil Mack. I love, love, love linebackers who carry teams on their backs. Mack is the Junior Seau or LT of this generation. And there are enough savvy veterans around him like Danny Trevathan and Ha-Ha Clinton Dix to captiolize on the chaos Mack causes. They. Just. Need. A. Kicker. Which is a common thread in this division these days.

    2. Minnesota Vikings (10-6, Wild Card): Kirk Cousins did not save the Vikings in his first year in town, even with all the weapons they have on offense y'know... Dalvin Cook, Adam Theilen, Stephon Diggs, Kyle Rudolph and a prime o-line... and their defense only has the honor of being a year OLDER. It says a lot, though, that this team still has not found a kicker worth a damn, when that's what keeps costing them in the playoffs. The Vikes could be capable of a deep playoff run, though, if Cousins plays up to his full ability, and goes into "YOU LIKE THAT!?!?" mode.

    3. Green Bay Packers (9-7): This team is Aaron Rodgers, Davante Adams, and I can't believe that I think that's enough for them. Why, you ask? Because I think Mike McCarthy was honestly holding his team back with god-awful coaching last year, and the Packers are gonna sneak up on some folks. Or, I'm completely wrong and Aarons Rodgers is going to look like he could explode Matt LaFleur's head and starts ignoring his play calls by Week Six. It's one or the other.

    4. Detroit Lions (4-12): Darius Slay could be the loneliest man in football because he's a damn fine corner on one of the saddest defenses going into the season. Matt Stafford has the receivers and a solid RB to end up putting up some decent fantasy FB numbers, but if Detroit's meager O-line doesn't keep him healthy, it's Josh Johnson waiting to show you the quality football you saw in Washington games last year. In the end, this team will be a traditional Lions team, and if they get to even 6 wins, I really feel like they're overachieving.
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  9. #9

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    Predictions for this season, continued:

    NFC South
    1. New Orleans Saints (12-4): The Saints are the team I have going to the Super Bowl out of the NFC. I don't how how Drew Brees just keeps doing this. But this team could lose Melvin Ingram, and not blink, because Alvin Kamara is that good. And as good as he is, Michael Thomas is even better at receiver. The Saints defense had a rep for being spotty since Bountygate, and now they've traded for Kiko Alonso which makes them as formidable, and perhaps as dirty as that Bountygate squad. If the Saints get homefield advantage in the playoffs again, I don't think the Rams will be able to keep up with them this time.

    2. Atlanta Falcons (9-7, Wild Card): Atlanta needs more help on defense for Vic Beasley. But their offense still has Julio Jones, Calvin Ridley, Mohammed Sanu, D'Vonta Freeman, and Matt Ryan making it tick. They've got one of the more favorable schedules I've looked at for this year, too, and I think are going to squeak back into the playoffs, where they'll be exposed without a defense.

    3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-8): Can Bruce Arians work the magic he did when he came to Arizona? Hmm... I don't think he's going to get ten wins out of a team with Jameis Winston under center. I like Mike Evans, I do. I love OJ Howard. But Winston is seriously a liability, and makes some stupid, stupid turnovers that are going to make Arians' ulcers flare right back up. The defense, which will be coached by Todd Bowles, has Vita Vea at DT and Donkey Kong Suh at DE... when your third best lineman is Vernon Gholston... you're doing pretty good in a 3-4 defense. Mind you, we have Vernon Hargreaves in the secondary as another potential "loneliest man in the NFL", and not much else. In a division with Drew Brees, Matt Ryan, and Cam Newton that's a big problem.

    4. Carolina Panthers (7-9): Cam Newton doesn't look like he did as an MVP, and injuries through his career make him look more like Clark Kent than Superman every season. TE Greg Olson has been his safety valve for years... but again, he's getting pretty long in the tooth as well. Christian McCaffrey, right now, though, is one of the most exciting RBs in the NFL, so at least they have that to make their offense in any way dynamic. On defense, I just hope that Luke Kuechley can remember how f'n good of a player he is when he's retired. But he's very much a concern for getting into concussion protocol whenever he gets tagged above the pads. Ron Rivera seems to only coach well every other year, so maybe he's due in 2019... but I think with this division and the talent he's got that seven wins is as far as he gets.

    NFC West

    1. Los Angelese Rams (12-4): Todd Gurley's knee might not be right. Jared Goff is still leaning heavily on his coach on the headset in his ear... and he sure didn't look like an elite young QB in the Super Bowl. The defense lost some key free agents. Still, they've got a division ripe for the taking, Aaron Donald as arguably one of the best two defenders in the league, if not THE best, and are stocked at WR perhaps better than anyone in the NFL. The Rams are playoff bound again, even if nobody in LA is watching them do it.

    2. Seattle Seahawks (9-7): Just when you think Seattle's "Legion of Boom" era is over save for Bobby Wagner, and they're going to rebuild with Russell Wilson, Tyler Lockett, and a bunch of guys... they trade for Jadaveon Clowney, and are clearly still intent on staying in the playoff hunt for another year. 2019 is going to be the year where we learn if Pete Carroll's that much of a genius, or if he only got handed one of the best draft classes and young rosters when he took over as coach.

    3. Arizona Cardinals (6-10): Kyler Murray is the favorite for Rookie of the Year, but then again, he's the only rookie QB starting in Week One, and he has Larry Fitzgerald and David Johnson to lean on. Arizona has kept 7 WRs on their roster, and will likely be running 4 WR and even 5 WR sets on offense... I think. This team went "vanilla" on both offense and defense in the preseason, so what Kliff Kingsbury has planned for his offense, and what DC Vance Joseph are going to do on defense is a mystery. Speaking of the defense... they brought in Terrell Suggs to play opposite Chandler Jones, which could be scary... except that their perennial Pro Bowl CB Patrick Peterson is suspended for the first 6 games of the year for PEDs, and their #2 corner, Robert Alford broke his leg. People were wondering if Arizona's going to look like a Big Twelve team every week with a hurry-up WR focused offense, and a defense that can't stop anything unless it gets a lucky 3rd and long and sacks... well... it seems the answer will be yes. Expect them to start out the gate hot, and then when their schedule gets tough late, for them to fade. They'll be the most-improved team in the NFL, but that's only because they only won 3 games last year.

    4. San Francisco 49ers (5-11): Jimmy G still has only George Kittle and Marquis Goodwin as receivers, which isn't a lot. His RB was supposed to be Jerrick McKinnon, but for the second year in the row, he's on IR. At least the 49ers brought in Tevin Coleman as a backup, so they're not totally boned in the run game. Where the 49ers look best is in their front seven, and if Richard Sherman is even a shadow of what he was as an elite Pro Bowl corner, they might have enough in the secondary to do far better than I'm predicting. Still, I haven't seen anyone picking the 49ers for the playoffs, either. They're still some weapons on offense and a few upgrades on the interior line from being there, assuming Jimmy G stays healthy and is really "the guy".
    Last edited by worstblogever; 09-03-2019 at 12:29 PM.
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  10. #10
    Extraordinary Member Deathstroke's Avatar
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    Looking forward to the season. Let's Go Patriots!
    Beth Hart - Fire On The Floor CD Review

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    "I can't complain. I got to be Jim Morrison for the first half of my life, and Ward Cleaver for the second half." - Warren Zevon.

  11. #11

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    We still have a couple left from Drew Magary... so it's... Why Your Team Sucks: The L.A. Rams



    From Rams fans:

    Brandon: "1. Stan Kroenke
    2. Gurley’s old man knees
    3. Getting to the mountaintop and letting loose the wettest fart of an effort in the same season they beat the Chiefs 54-51. If you’re gonna screw the pooch, at least be entertaining."
    Jonathon: "I’ve had to watch this team have a prolific offense get tied, gagged, and sodomized by the Patriots in the Super Bowl twice now. But if they’re not doing that, they’re sucking d*** and being irrelevant. I’m not sure which is worse."
    Robbie: "I’ve had to deal with it all: Brenda Warner, running Steven Jackson into the ground, Sam Bradford’s contract forcing the NFL to change rookie wages, Tavon Austin’s re-signing, and Jeff Fisher going 7-9 in perpetuity. Not being from St. Louis, the move to LA did not affect me, but I also now have to contemplate that my franchise (like all sports teams if we’re being truly honest) is inherently evil. And to add the cherry on top, we put together a dominant season only to be beat by the f***ing Patriots AGAIN because Brandin Cooks can’t catch and nobody can tell the truth about Gurley’s knee. Time really is a flat f***ing circle."
    Jeff: " Sean McVay had no ideas, no adjustments, no counter for when Belichick deployed his galaxy brain idea of switching the defense after the coach-QB communications shut-off occurred. And when every team in the league uses that tactic - the ones that don’t will only have themselves to blame - Jared Goff will turn back into a pumpkin and we LA Rams fans will break ankles jumping off a bandwagon that we happily rode only for the last two weeks of the playoffs.

    Also, that totally was pass interference and if there’s anything worse than scoring three measly points in the Super Bowl, it’s giving Gumbo Gumbo Gumbo fans a justified reason to whine about the league having it in against them."
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  12. #12
    Silver Sentinel BeastieRunner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by worstblogever View Post
    We still have a couple left from Drew Magary... so it's... Why Your Team Sucks: The L.A. Rams



    From Rams fans:
    That opening letter from the fan that ran with the WWII France analogy was poetic.
    "Always listen to the crazy scientist with a weird van or armful of blueprints and diagrams." -- Vibranium

  13. #13
    Ultimate Member Sacred Knight's Avatar
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    Only prediction for my team is that they'll miss the playoffs again, but they'll get two extra wins not expected, one a piece over their top divisional teams of the year in KC and LA. They finish 7-9 or 8-8.
    "They can be a great people Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you. My only son." - Jor-El

    "Now why don't we step up here and everybody get stepped up, and let's get some stepped up personal space up in this place." - Phillip Jacobs

  14. #14
    Old school comic book fan WestPhillyPunisher's Avatar
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    Okay, I’ll jump into the prediction pool:

    AFC

    East
    New England, 12-4
    New York Jets, 7-9
    Buffalo, 6-10
    Miami, 4-12
    Analysis: If the Pats don’t win all six games against the mutts in this division, and win them handily, Tom Brady and Bill Belichick should be run out of New England on a rail.

    North
    Baltimore, 10-6
    Pittsburgh, 9-7
    Cleveland, 9-7
    Cincinnati, 6-10
    Analysis: I’m rolling with the Ravens. As for Cleveland, until they show me something, I’m not falling for all the hype about them being the NFL’s next great team.

    South
    Jacksonville, 9-7
    Houston, 8-8
    Indianapolis, 7-9
    Tennessee, 5-11
    Analysis: The sudden retirement of Andrew Luck and the trade of Jadeveon Clowney resulted in chaos. That said, don’t be surprised if the Jags end up winning the division.

    West
    Kansas City, 12-4
    Los Angeles Chargers, 9-7
    Denver, 7-9
    Oakland, 5-11
    Analysis: Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes could well become the Belichick and Brady of the West, and that spells doom for the rest of the division.

    NFC

    East
    Philadelphia, 11-5
    Dallas, 10-6
    New York Giants, 6-10
    Washington, 5-11
    Analysis: On paper, the Eagles look to have the deepest, most talented team in the East with the best quarterback. Now they have to go out and prove it.

    North
    Chicago, 9-7
    Minnesota, 9-7
    Green Bay, 8-8
    Detroit, 5-11
    Analysis: As usual, the North will be black and blue with the Bears, Vikings and Packers beating each other up while the Lions lag behind.

    South
    Atlanta, 10-6
    New Orleans, 10-6
    Carolina, 8-8
    Tampa Bay, 6-10
    Analysis: A season long dogfight between the Falcons and Saints is in the offing, however, the Panthers could struggle and the Bucs walk the plank.

    West
    Los Angeles, 11-5
    Seattle, 9-7
    San Francisco, 7-9
    Arizona, 6-10
    Analysis: The West is clearly the Rams to lose, not that will happen, what with the talent they have, how far Goff, Hurley and company go is anybody’s guess.
    Avatar: Here's to the late, great Steve Dillon. Best. Punisher. Artist. EVER!

  15. #15
    Ol' Doogie, Circa 2005 JDogindy's Avatar
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    I forgot that we migrated to the regular season thread (even though there is a game tomorrow), and the Why Your Team Sucks series concluded today.

    So, without further ado... Why Your Team Sucks: The New England Patriots



    From Patriots Fans (who likely have to endure heavy drinking to deal with Patriots fans who have to stroke their own dick in spite of the team's six Super Bowl championships):

    Quote Originally Posted by Casey
    I watch maybe 5 Pats games during the regular season. I can name like 4 active players (make that 3 since Gronk retired with his remaining brain cells). I often find myself reflecting on all of the bullshit that I have endured over the past 18 years: spy-gate, deflate-gate, Tom Brady’s fucking MAGA hat and his witch-doctor trainer, Belichick’s love letters to Donald Trump, and Bob Kraft’s Florida prostitutes. There is no logical way to justify being a fan of this team.

    And yet, every year when Super Bowl Sunday rolls around, and the Pats are inevitably in that Super Bowl, I put on my Tom Brady jersey, show up at a bar, and call anyone an asshole that points out all of the obvious things I’ve highlighted above.

    No one could hate me more than I hate myself.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jinghis
    Brady’s six rings now ensures that every goddamn two-bit, mouth breathing shithead from the overmonied depths of Connecticut to the distant might-as-well-be-Canada barren wasteland of Northern Maine will be making Marvel References and Brady/Thanos jokes from here till the end of their (hopefully) brief lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by David
    The Patriots as an organization couldn’t care less about any fan who either makes less than $250K a/year or hasn’t been a season ticket holder since the ‘80s. Not only do we have the 2nd highest ticket prices in the league but every piece of swag is priced about 30% higher than most teams. At the Foxboro Under-Armour Tom Brady shrine/store a “199" (his draft number) t-shirt costs 60 fucking dollars.

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