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  1. #1
    More human than human thetrellan's Avatar
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    Default That's enough out of you, Bizarro.

    I suppose to most, Bizarro is just this weird character you see on Superman-related shows once a blue Moon. But I've decided I hate him more than just about any character. Not because he's stupid, even though he very much is. But because reading his stories is even more of a chore than trying to follow Zatanna's goddamn backwards magic spells.

    Somewhere along the line, DC thought it would be funny to have this backward guy, this supremely bad copy of Superman, actually communicate by saying the exact opposite of whatever he really means.

    That was cool for a guest appearance or two. But now entire stories are being written that way, and reading them is unmitigated torture. Readers must translate it all in their heads, and reading speed slows to an effing crawl.

    I'm putting you on notice, DC. Knock it the hell off, or I'm done with you. Seriously. Enough is enough. Terrifics 19 was the final straw. Am I the only one who feels this way?
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  2. #2

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    The issue is when you have entire stories based on Bizzaro speak. That's when it becomes problematic and it's just painful to read. I don't mind it when Bizzaro is with someone else to translate for him(eg; Red Hood and the Outlaws). But when entire stories are written like that then I just can't understand shit and stop caring halfway though because it's just to much. The concept is fine but he needs to kept grounded with other characters not having entire stories dedicated to Bizzaro world or I want to jump off a cliff and hang myself.

  3. #3
    small press afficionado matt levin's Avatar
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    The other gripe *I* have is the hideous inconsistency within just about every Bizzaro story-- if in fact, Bizzaros speak the opposite of what they mean, they should do so consistently, persistently, and not merely when the writer thinks it's apt or cute or whatever. It would, of course, making reading their dialogue nearly impossible, which is, I suspect, why it's not done, but it sure does grate on me every time the character speaks-- not only am I slowed down to 'interpret' but I'm stopped cold every time I read something a Bizzaro would not have expressed as the writer has "for clarity". Psssfh.
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  4. #4
    Astonishing Member Jackalope89's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thetrellan View Post
    I suppose to most, Bizarro is just this weird character you see on Superman-related shows once a blue Moon. But I've decided I hate him more than just about any character. Not because he's stupid, even though he very much is. But because reading his stories is even more of a chore than trying to follow Zatanna's goddamn backwards magic spells.

    Somewhere along the line, DC thought it would be funny to have this backward guy, this supremely bad copy of Superman, actually communicate by saying the exact opposite of whatever he really means.

    That was cool for a guest appearance or two. But now entire stories are being written that way, and reading them is unmitigated torture. Readers must translate it all in their heads, and reading speed slows to an effing crawl.

    I'm putting you on notice, DC. Knock it the hell off, or I'm done with you. Seriously. Enough is enough. Terrifics 19 was the final straw. Am I the only one who feels this way?
    Fair enough on THAT version of Bizarro. But don't you dare bad mouth Outlaws Bizarro!

  5. #5
    More human than human thetrellan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by matt levin View Post
    The other gripe *I* have is the hideous inconsistency within just about every Bizzaro story-- if in fact, Bizzaros speak the opposite of what they mean, they should do so consistently, persistently, and not merely when the writer thinks it's apt or cute or whatever. It would, of course, making reading their dialogue nearly impossible, which is, I suspect, why it's not done, but it sure does grate on me every time the character speaks-- not only am I slowed down to 'interpret' but I'm stopped cold every time I read something a Bizzaro would not have expressed as the writer has "for clarity". Psssfh.
    There was one recent appearance in which he just spoke like the Hulk. That was refreshing. The latest one where Bizarro Lois depsag and proclaimed her hate for Metazarro with all her liver was right out. Reverse spelling, and in what world is liver the opposite of heart?

    Oh, right. Bizarro World.

    The thing is, I'm trying to read faster. Glance at a word balloon and move on, if possible. Read four, five, even six comics at lunch time just to keep up. Throw Mr. B in the mix, and I only have time for 2. I don't mind third person omniscient narration. I just need stories to make enough sense for speed reading to be remotely possible.

    I realize, however, that those are rather specialized reasons. Not many really try to keep up with all of DC's superhero-based output.

  6. #6
    Father Son Kamehameha < Kuwagaton's Avatar
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    You just can't think about it too hard. It's kind if annoying that writers flip the rules and meaning at convenience, but that's the only way to do it and still come away with something fun. Bizarro is oddly enough one of the most successful D.C. spinoff characters.
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  7. #7
    (formerly "Superman") JAK's Avatar
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    It would be nice if DC sat down and figured out a set of rules when it comes to Bizarro-speak (even if there are different dialects for alternate-realities or versions). If that was the case, I think these things would be a LOT simpler for people.
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  8. #8
    More human than human thetrellan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAK View Post
    It would be nice if DC sat down and figured out a set of rules when it comes to Bizarro-speak (even if there are different dialects for alternate-realities or versions). If that was the case, I think these things would be a LOT simpler for people.
    I kind of wish they'd stuck to Byrne's simpler version. Imperfect clone, therefore impaired intellect. Nothing about opposite logic or Bizarro planets. People who like that kind of thing could see it as an alternate universe thing.

  9. #9
    (formerly "Superman") JAK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thetrellan View Post
    I kind of wish they'd stuck to Byrne's simpler version. Imperfect clone, therefore impaired intellect. Nothing about opposite logic or Bizarro planets. People who like that kind of thing could see it as an alternate universe thing.
    I think the Lex-tech cloned versions should absolutely be similar to that. The ones from planet Bizarro I think can have the reverse-speak, but there just needs to be structure. Only main nouns with clear opposites (happy/sad, good/bad, etc) or, say, the "no" goes before direct declaratives "me no am Bizarro" - that kinda thing.
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  10. #10
    Astonishing Member Jackalope89's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAK View Post
    I think the Lex-tech cloned versions should absolutely be similar to that. The ones from planet Bizarro I think can have the reverse-speak, but there just needs to be structure. Only main nouns with clear opposites (happy/sad, good/bad, etc) or, say, the "no" goes before direct declaratives "me no am Bizarro" - that kinda thing.
    The clone ones ARE like that (without the opposite meaning junk that doesn't need to be there). Just look at Bizarro in Red Hood and the Outlaws Rebirth. Clone, not the smartest guy, but has some simple, yet profound moments.

  11. #11
    (formerly "Superman") JAK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackalope89 View Post
    The clone ones ARE like that (without the opposite meaning junk that doesn't need to be there). Just look at Bizarro in Red Hood and the Outlaws Rebirth. Clone, not the smartest guy, but has some simple, yet profound moments.
    The Outlaws version is, certainly. But iirc, some of the older Post-Crisis Lex clones have either had reverse-speak, or engaged in reverse-activities that are typical of the original Pre-Crisis cloned version. That's why I mention it.

    Just means that Lex's process is better in some ways, but not others.
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  12. #12
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    Me too stupid. Hate beautiful Bizarro comics. Me have rotten time reading.



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  13. #13
    You guessed it mr_crisp's Avatar
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    Nope. I feel the same way. That whole backwards talking gets bothersome after awhile.
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    Does our reality determine our fiction or does our fiction determine our reality?

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  14. #14
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    Annataz sevol Orrazib. Trams era elpoep gnidaer drawkcab.
    You can't jump a jet plane like you can a freight train,
    So I'd best be on my way in the early morning rain.

  15. #15
    You guessed it mr_crisp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim Kelly View Post
    Annataz sevol Orrazib. Trams era elpoep gnidaer drawkcab.
    But reading it can be taxing at times.
    The Gypsies had no home. The Doors had no bass.

    Does our reality determine our fiction or does our fiction determine our reality?

    Whenever the question comes up about who some mysterious person is or who is behind something the answer will always be Frank Stallone.

    "This isn't a locking the barn doors after the horses ran way situation this is a burn the barn down after the horses ran away situation."

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