I'm glad it's not your Spidey. Your Spidey sounds like a pretty crappy guy. It sounds like your Spidey is a guy that lets people die. When somebody says "don't worry about me, save yourself," he goes "Okay. I will." When somebody tells him "you can't do this," he goes "You're right. I can't. I give up."
My Spider-man is a guy that doesn't let people die if there's anyway he can save them.
And yes, my Spider-man is capable of loosing sometimes and making bad choices, but he does what he can to save people. That's what makes him interesting.
I don't believe for a second he didn't think of the consequences. He knew the consequences. He would suffer so that somebody else would live. That's what being Spider-man is all about. I'm sorry, that's what being any version of Spider-man other than "Your Spider-man" is about.
As for "god" telling him Aunt May needed to die. We never did find out who that was. To me it looked more like Iggy Pop after he'd been dead for a few weeks.
But enough of this. I'm not going to argue One More Day with you Anymore. I've done that enough. You're set in your opinions, I'm set in mine, and the comics thankfully don't agree with you and have given us a Spider-man that saves lives instead of letting people die like a responsible person should.