A Better Road to HOXPOX

[bigstupidjellyfish]

So, I wrote this after catching up on Rosencanny back when it was being published. I, like everyone here, was pissed about it. So, I thought I'd come up with an alternative to the Rosencanny/AOXM while still allowing for those stories to be told as well as some other stuff.

Here we go:

A Better Road to HOXPOX

So, it’s been a big point among fans that, since the announcement of Hickman’s takeover of the X-Line, nothing that’s currently being published feels like it matters. As much as I like Age of X-Man, I can’t help but think that this could have all been avoided somehow.

So, let’s travel back in time to early 2018 and let me tell y'all what I would have done differently if I were in Jordan D. White’s shoes.

*NOTE: I think Jordan is a fantastic editor; it’s just that some choices for the X-books in preparation for Hickman have been… poor.

CHANGE ONE: The X-Wedding

So, Rogue and Gambit are the Sam and Diane (or Jeff and Britta. Or Jon and Dany) of the X-Men and nothing has proven this more than them getting married (to me at least). I don’t buy that these people have a relationship that’s worth fighting for. However, I think Sam and Diane are also a bit too old of a reference for the analogy to keep working in this modern era.

I think a closer, more modern comparison would be Jimmy and Gretchen from You’re the Worst. Jimmy and Gretchen are a couple that have many issues between the two of them but manage to make it work out, while also noting that, for them, marriage is too restrictive. You mean to tell me that Gambit, a thief that always has some foot out the door with the X-Men is all of a sudden just ready to be married? Along with all of Rogue’s other hangups that haven’t truly been addressed?

Nuh-uh, it doesn’t make sense.

There’s also the fact that as long as Kelly Thompson is writing them, they will never be a sales hit. Because when Ewing turned Immortal Hulk into a sales hit, he passed his curse onto Thompson (and Jeremy Whitley).

So, my proposal states that we just copy the Bat Wedding. No one gets married, but the Thing still gets married later in the year (which was a more important wedding to begin with) to make up for it. Instead, when Kitty ditches, Domino stands up, slams back a flask full of tequila and says, “let’s do it, big guy.” Colossus does not take advantage of this offer, but agrees to talk about it with her the next day.

Colossus then becomes a bigger factor in the Domino series going forward from that point. And instead of Mr. and Mrs. X, a five issue Colossus and Domino miniseries by Dennis Hallum, Leah Williams, and Juan Frigeri would be published.

CHANGE TWO: Blue and Gold

So, first off, Extermination still happens and the O5 still go home, it’s just that Blue, Gold, Red, and Astonishing all keep going past December 2018.

Bunn and Guggenheim’s run end the same way, Blue and Gold just get new creative teams. Let’s break them down:

X-Men Gold by Jim Zub and Pere Perez

Initial Lineup: Rogue
Iceman
Psylocke
Dust
Armor

First arc would be about the search for Wolverine and Cyclops, after which they would join the team. Future plots would be about the Hellfire Club and the mysterious figure known as X.

X-Men Blue by Lonnie Nadler, Zac Thompson, and Carlos Gomez

Initial Lineup: Bishop
X-Man
Jubilee
Hope
Nature Girl
Eye-Boy
Sunspot

Storylines would involve X-Man’s impending death, the death of Cable, and Nature Girl’s increasing detachment from humanity in favor of plants and animals as well as Eye-Boy’s crush on her.

X-Men Red by Tom Taylor and Juann Cabal

Initial Lineup: Jean Grey
Nightcrawler
Storm
Gambit
Laura
Honey Badger
Gentle
Kitty Pryde
Trinary

Future storylines would be about dealing with Namor’s actions in Avengers and Gambit’s continued involvement in the Thieves’ Guild.

Astonishing X-Men by Matt Rosenberg and Adam Gorham

Initial Lineup: Havok
Colossus
Beast
Dazzler
Banshee
Warpath

Future storylines would be about cleaning up from the fallout of Matt’s Multiple Man and New Mutants miniseries, after which Magik would join the team.

The rest of the books that launched in that time period (Shatterstar, X-Men Black, and X-Force) would go on unchanged.

CHANGE THREE: The X-23 Conundrum

So, there’s another piece of 2018 X-Men that people were very split on: Laura. Laura as Wolverine was a breathe of fresh air and her going back to the name X-23 made no sense for the character. So, what to do?

Two options: Laura just goes by Laura or she continues to be Wolverine and Logan just goes by Logan. I like the Wolverine option the most.

The series title should also reflect Gabby’s role in the series. So, it should be called something like Wolverine and Honey Badger. But, apparently, Honey Badger is an alt-right thing now, so Gabby’s name just changed to Scout. Scout just makes me think of To Kill A Mockingbird (which is a good book, to be clear), so she should get a new name at the end.

IN SUMMARY:

Tom Taylor gets a sixteen issue run on X-Men Red. Matt Rosenberg gets a twelve issue run on Astonishing X-Men. Zub and Thompson/Nadler both get an eighteen issue run on Gold and Blue respectively, as well as getting both titles to issue fifty. It also allows for the writers to tell stories with the same themes that they are telling now, even if those stories would look massively different.

This would have avoided the shitstain that was Rosencanny, instead giving him the chance to wrap up his plotlines in a manner that better suited his writing style. It also would have allowed Thompson and Nadler to explore the themes they wanted with X-Man. As well as undoing some of the poor decisions made by the previous editorial regime, this would also allow for Tom Taylor’s X-Men Red to get the length it deserved.

[Digifiend]

This would have a minor effect on Champions as well, as if Zub was using Dust in an X-Men book, he wouldn't have used her in Champions.

[jwatson]

I think it's fine. Why extend runs when your intent is to reboot everything. I think it worked well, a lot of people thought Gold was crappy and Rosencanny was so dark that it added some new relief at what we're dealing with here. At least for me. Gold reminded me of someone tryinng to be nostalgic and failing and Uncanny reminded me how bad it can get when writers just use shock value. For me both perfectly got me ready for what heres now. And age of x was a nice reminder that i wasn't a fan of Age of Apoc really. So they hit me in every right place to let me know i was ready for something new and it lined up perfectly.

[DragonPiece]

the less we gotta think about how bad the past few years of x-men been, the better.