Tim Eyman
Welcome to what is the 856th original profile here at “Crazy/Stupid Republican of the Day”, where we’ll be discussing Tim Eyman, a 2020 Republican candidate to try and become the next Governor of Washington state. Eyman graduated from Washington State University at Pullman in 1988 with a Bachelor’s Degree in business after a career as a collegiate wrestler. For ten years out of college, Eyman didn’t turn up much in the news, but after a decade of trying to make a living as a watch salesman (now there’s a niche market that’s gone by the wayside in the digital age), he emerged as what can only be described as a professional ballot initiative lobbyist. With cartoonish glee, at different points he’s dressed up as a gorilla or even Darth Vader (yes, the enforcer of Emperor Palpatine who’s one of the biggest bad guys in film history) as has made a living overseeing these political ventures, and has managed over the past 22 years to get 17 initiatives on the ballot. Of those, 11 have been voted to be approved… but 8 of that 11 have been completely or partially overturned by courts as unconstitutional (at this time). Which would probably be something to consider before you lobby for it…
Unless you’re financial well-being is centered around working to get anything on the ballot, regardless of whether it’s a good idea or not.
Now, Eyman’s political affiliation has traditionally been more of an “independent conservative populist” that if you squint, you would identify as somewhat libertarian, given his overall distaste for taxation of any kind, but there also seems to be a pattern of him wanting to place ballot initiatives in place to eliminate workplace protections for the LGBTQ community that perhaps would indicate a pattern of homophobia in his “small government” focus.
As early as 2002, however, experienced political wonks in Washington noticed a pattern in Eyman’s activities… he frequently diverted campaign money into his own pockets. When caught, the state would fine him, and ban him from serving as a treasurer on any political campaign, and… that’s about it. But yet, he stuck around, and kept making a living with more and more filings. And thus he was a nuisance for another thirteen years…
That is, until 2015, when an investigation by the state (that Eyman fought every step of the way) found that again, Tim Eyman was self-dealing. That allowed Washington Attorney General Bob Ferguson to file a $2.1 million lawsuit against Eyman in 2017, and those legal woes meant Eyman would be facing more fines and be forced to pay back money he illegally procured… which of course, he was spending hand over fist. To the tune of $24,000 a month. Forced to pay those large sums, including up to $77,000 in legal fees, he was now going to be forced into Chapter 11 bankruptcy. His wife soon left him. Judges have upheld the state’s filings, and he’s still looking at massive debt. As of a couple days ago, judges have confirmed Tim Eyman owes the state $278,000, even while filing bankruptcy.
Now, you’re probably thinking this would be the end of his story, and wondering how someone who never ran for public office got a CSGOPOTD profile… And this is where we remind you how insane the Republican Party and its candidates are these days. Because Tim Eyman decided all of his legal woes could be solved if he mounted a run and could win election to be the next Governor of Washington as a Republican.
Now, odds are that a guy found to have ethical and legal issues who turned around and filed for bankruptcy and thus would be asking taxpayers to already pay for his idiocy would be a long-shot if trying to run as a populist, but Eyman was going to try. Could a man with so little to show for over two decades of political activity except illegal personal enrichment win the governor’s race and use the power of the office to sole all his problems?
Any hope of that happening probably fell by the wayside on March 14th, 2020, when after an executive order by Washington Governor Jay Inslee to ban gatherings of more than 250 people (quite reasonable for the moment) to stop the spread of Covid-19. Tim Eyman chose to respond like a douchebag on “The Price is Right” by putting out a press release that he would be hosting a campaign event where 251, we repeat TWO-HUNDRED AND FIFTY ONE people were invited, and he would be serving Corona beers to them.
That… doesn’t hold up well as a reaction given at the time of this writing, more people are dying from Covid-19 every day than died on 9-11. The pedantic, mocking defiance of Eyman was incredibly ignorant when the death toll was far lower last month. He now is almost certainly going to lose in the primary in the gubernatorial race, if not definitely in November, given how capable Inslee’s leadership has been through the crisis, and in spite of the fact that Inslee’s request for more respirators and N-94 masks have been denied by Donald Trump.
As we’re all dealing with this crisis, be ready for CSGOPOTD to continue to hot-shot Republicans who respond to the crisis as Tim Eyman did to the front of our queue of profiles. Eyman’s corruption was enough to have us profile him, but the attitudes being promoted by conservative ***holes like him trivializing this serious disease can, and will end up getting people who follow their lead killed. And we are going to call them out for that ignorance.