The mental health support thread

[TiaraPenny]

I know what you mean. I've never been diagnosed, with a mental illness, but I've had bouts where a hit to myself esteem rendered me almost useless because I was so depressed. When I get to that place in my head, I have to be very careful about booze, because I will overdo it hard.

I'm in such a place now over some work stuff. It's a couple of people who have charmed the big boss, and have appropriated the credit for what was mainly my work. My direct boss knows the score, but the way it's gone down has me trying to look over both shoulders at once. Worst of all, somebody I groused to in confidence leaked some of what I said to one of these people.

I know that if I hang on, the value I create will end up speaking for itself. But when you feel like that, the hanging on is hard.

I know about the negative feedback loop you’re talking about. You’re depressed, your energy and your work suffers, and you get more depressed as a result… and your work sucks even more. And it goes on and on. Having credit for the work you do complete taken from you; deplorable.

In these times relying whatever you supports you have is crucial. Whether family, friend, enjoyable hobby, it will always be better than booze. Easy to say than do, I know; when you’re depressed, you don’t want to do many activities or reach out to many people. Substances seem so tempting then. There are some methods to stave off cravings and resist them until they pass: mindfulness exercises if you are familiar with them, guided mediation, positive affirmations. They do help... I know from experience...

[DrNewGod]

I know about the negative feedback loop you’re talking about. You’re depressed, your energy and your work suffers, and you get more depressed as a result… and your work sucks even more. And it goes on and on. Having credit for the work you do complete taken from you; deplorable.

In these times relying whatever you supports you have is crucial. Whether family, friend, enjoyable hobby, it will always be better than booze. Easy to say than do, I know; when you’re depressed, you don’t want to do many activities or reach out to many people. Substances seem so tempting then. There are some methods to stave off cravings and resist them until they pass: mindfulness exercises if you are familiar with them, guided mediation, positive affirmations. They do help... I know from experience...

Made it today without a drop tho

[TiaraPenny]

Be proud of yourself. It’s one day at a time.

There is a lot of alcoholism in my family; so I’m familiarized with the struggle. My own mother was an active alcoholic up until the day she died… which was one month ago. It wasn’t the direct cause of her death (heart disease was) but booze did nearly kill her... several times. The last time she was hospitalized for alcohol abuse, she was told flat out that she needed to stop drinking immediately but never did. Even though liver was failing, her kidneys had shut down several times and her blood would barely longer clot... due to an almost complete absence of blood platelets in her system. At one her platelet count was so low they thought she might have had bone marrow cancer. It still didn’t stop her.

The people who can drink moderately and get away with it are lucky.

If you need any support or advice, I’m here for you.

[DrNewGod]

Be proud of yourself. It’s one day at a time.

There is a lot of alcoholism in my family; so I’m familiarized with the struggle. My own mother was an active alcoholic up until the day she died… which was one month ago. It wasn’t the direct cause of her death (heart disease was) but booze did nearly kill her... several times. The last time she was hospitalized for alcohol abuse, she was told flat out that she needed to stop drinking immediately but never did. Even though liver was failing, her kidneys had shut down several times and her blood would barely longer clot... due to an almost complete absence of blood platelets in her system. At one her platelet count was so low they thought she might have had bone marrow cancer. It still didn’t stop her.

The people who can drink moderately and get away with it are lucky.

If you need any support or advice, I’m here for you.

Thank you, and I'm sorry about your mom.

[TiaraPenny]

There's been a lot going on lately, so I appreciate that.

My younger brother has had paranoid schizophrenia since his 20s, has been in and out of hospitals for years because of it, has had delusions as severe and persistent as to think his apartment was bugged by the police 24 hours/day and much worse. He is so disorganized that he literally needs to be reminded to brush his teeth and shower. If he is not directed clean up, his living space will pile up with the level of garbage you see in those shows about hoarders. His symptoms are well-controlled when he’s on his medication, which is provided by a visiting nurse… but my older brother (and to a lesser extent my father) tries to convince him to stop taking the medication and says that he isn’t mentally ill and is instead “just lazy.” Meanwhile, he hasn’t seen my younger brother in 10 years and knows nothing about his habits or behaviors because he lives across the country. Every time my brother has gone off his meds, he ends up going inpatient for weeks. Nonetheless, he feels comfortable running him into the ground for being on social security disability and tells him to stop using mental illness as an excuse because he doesn’t believe it’s real. What a world, right? :/

The worst thing to happen was our mother passing so recently. I’m still reeling from it and so is he… to worsen matters, she was the one who acted as his go-between for him and his state benefits, helping navigate the system. I’ve had to take that on now too, while I’m still grieving myself, and I already have so much going on with work.

[babyblob]

There's been a lot going on lately, so I appreciate that.

My younger brother has had paranoid schizophrenia since his 20s, has been in and out of hospitals for years because of it, has had delusions as severe and persistent as to think his apartment was bugged by the police 24 hours/day and much worse. He is so disorganized that he literally needs to be reminded to brush his teeth and shower. If he is not directed clean up, his living space will pile up with the level of garbage you see in those shows about hoarders. His symptoms are well-controlled when he’s on his medication, which is provided by a visiting nurse… but my older brother (and to a lesser extent my father) tries to convince him to stop taking the medication and says that he isn’t mentally ill and is instead “just lazy.” Meanwhile, he hasn’t seen my younger brother in 10 years and knows nothing about his habits or behaviors because he lives across the country. Every time my brother has gone off his meds, he ends up going inpatient for weeks. Nonetheless, he feels comfortable running him into the ground for being on social security disability and tells him to stop using mental illness as an excuse because he doesn’t believe it’s real. What a world, right? :/

The worst thing to happen was our mother passing so recently. I’m still reeling from it and so is he… to worsen matters, she was the one who acted as his go-between for him and his state benefits, helping navigate the system. I’ve had to take that on now too, while I’m still grieving myself, and I already have so much going on with work.

It is very hard to lose someone and added on top of that having to take care of someone with a mental health disorder. If you need help navigating through anything please let me know. As far as questions go I mean. I have a mental health disorder and had to deal with benefits and my dad has a mental health disorder and I have to navigate his as well. I have a lot of experience with that kind of thing because of myself, my father and helping people who have been released from prison when I did the volunteer work and if I dont know the answer because of the differences in our states I will help you find the answer.

[TiaraPenny]

I appreciate that so much. Thank you.

[babyblob]

I appreciate that so much. Thank you.

Any time I know how hard that whole process can be. Dont know how much help you want from random internet guy but even if it is just to bitch about paper work and state workers shoot me a pm.

[batnbreakfast]

Usually just lurking. Always happy to read more about the adventures of the mysterious Babyblob.

I'm 39 been through some hard times but feel like things are going well. Maybe for too long. Last week I met a woman I really like online. We exchanged numbers and can't stop texting. I like her a lot. Maybe she loves me. Now I don't want to botch it. Had my last girlfriend 1,5 years ago. I can get clingy but not in a creepy way. Just addicted to feeling butterflies again. We have texted and called each other one week now. Our date is July 4th. I'm From Germany she's from the US. Native American. If someone could calm me down. I'd appreciate it. By the way she's earning a lot more and that might be a problem for her in the future or for me. We made each other promises but when we make plans life still finds a way

[Kirby101]

Usually just lurking. Always happy to read more about the adventures of the mysterious Babyblob.

I'm 39 been through some hard times but feel like things are going well. Maybe for too long. Last week I met a woman I really like online. We exchanged numbers and can't stop texting. I like her a lot. Maybe she loves me. Now I don't want to botch it. Had my last girlfriend 1,5 years ago. I can get clingy but not in a creepy way. Just addicted to feeling butterflies again. We have texted and called each other one week now. Our date is July 4th. I'm From Germany she's from the US. Native American. If someone could calm me down. I'd appreciate it. By the way she's earning a lot more and that might be a problem for her in the future or for me. We made each other promises but when we make plans life still finds a way

It's understandable that you are nervous. You can fight that or let it happen. It's okay to be nervous, it's okay to acknowledge you are nervous. Fighting being nervous makes you concentrate on that more than the other person. Put it somewhere in your mind and just say, "it's there but I will just go forward." Remember she is probably nervous too. Also, don't live in the future with a lot of "what ifs", you can spend a lot of emotional energy on things that aren't going to happen. It's hard, but just accept the uncertainty. Don't try to impress her, just make her the focus of the evening. Have the date, see how it goes and move forward from there.
This is coming from someone who had a lot of troubles dating until I figured my **** out and was able to meet my wife.

[batnbreakfast]

It's understandable that you are nervous. You can fight that or let it happen. It's okay to be nervous, it's okay to acknowledge you are nervous. Fighting being nervous makes you concentrate on that more than the other person. Put it somewhere in your mind and just say, "it's there but I will just go forward." Remember she is probably nervous too. Also, don't live in the future with a lot of "what ifs", you can spend a lot of emotional energy on things that aren't going to happen. It's hard, but just accept the uncertainty. Don't try to impress her, just make her the focus of the evening. Have the date, see how it goes and move forward from there.
This is coming from someone who had a lot of troubles dating until I figured my **** out and was able to meet my wife.

Thank you. Seriously. I am not a violent guy but I often read people wrong and leash out at ones verbally who get too close. I don't want to get to this point with her. She's a wonderful woman from Indianapolis. I want her to be the one but I have enormous trust issues because of a fucked up childhood. She knows all of that. Also she has a nerdy kid, 7 years. He is a great kid. We decided to wait 6 months till we tell him. I feel like this could be my last chance for happiness. If it goes wrong I ll never let anyone get close to me again

[Kirby101]

Thank you. Seriously. I am not a violent guy but I often read people wrong and leash out at ones verbally who get too close. I don't want to get to this point with her. She's a wonderful woman from Indianapolis. I want her to be the one but I have enormous trust issues because of a fucked up childhood. She knows all of that. Also she has a nerdy kid, 7 years. He is a great kid. We decided to wait 6 months till we tell him. I feel like this could be my last chance for happiness. If it goes wrong I ll never let anyone get close to me again

Stop worrying about stuff that hasn't happened and may never happen. It's called catastrophizing. We do it so we won't be crushed if the worst happens. Problem is that you then spend a lot of negative emotions on something that isn't real. Accept the uncertainty and don't let yourself go down the road of "last chance" and "never be happy" It's not that you can stop these thoughts, it's when they happen you acknowledge hey are their but don't dwell on them and let them take you down a dark path. You can decide to have different thoughts, happier thoughts. The bad thoughts will be there, but you don't have to let them dominate you.

[batnbreakfast]

Stop worrying about stuff that hasn't happened and may never happen. It's called catastrophizing. We do it so we won't be crushed if the worst happens. Problem is that you then spend a lot of negative emotions on something that isn't real. Accept the uncertainty and don't let yourself go down the road of "last chance" and "never be happy" It's not that you can stop these thoughts, it's when they happen you acknowledge hey are their but don't dwell on them and let them take you down a dark path. You can decide to have different thoughts, happier thoughts. The bad thoughts will be there, but you don't have to let them dominate you.

You are good at this. Thank you. Will keep it in mind

[numberthirty]

Just to try to be in your corner here?

Don't let what could wind up happening potentially hurt a chance at actually being happy as things get started.

[Kirby101]

You are good at this. Thank you. Will keep it in mind

Your welcome. Deep breaths and counting to 10 also help.