I understand that I may have established myself as arguably the most hated out of the hostile posters in the X-forums
nowadays ("hostile" in the sense of being staunchly opposed to the prevailing sentiment supported by the posting
majority right now: that Krakoa is cool and that this setting - and the new attitudes and in-universe political views
of the associated characters - should now be the new default setting for X-Men in the comics and all future adaptations
of it, now and forever more). I'm usually far more mellow when discussing on the other CBR sub-forums, but that's beside
the point; you know I hate the Age of Krakoa, and you know that it has led me to attack those who support it.
After going through HoxPox, seeing the beginnings of Dox, and reading the solicits for months from now in that regard, I'm
certain that I can never resonate with the direction the X-creatives and X-editorial has charted out for X-Men and
mutantkind. Unfortunately, when I read the overly gushing show of support on the forums, and the ensuing ragging of any
posters who shared my contrary view on HoxPoxDox, I discovered a new berserk button in my inner self, and it had been
mashed to be stuck in the "ON" position.
So I began to vent, and vent, and bite verbally at every avenue of discussion that praised the "jerkass" X-Men that
never sat well with me. Rarely did I even have good reasoning to push with my posts; the Krakoan state of mind has
messed with my emotions, so I railed and shouted and engaged in hyperbole because I believe myself incapable of ever
accepting this as the new baseline for the concept of X-Men.
And even when I page away from CBR, the images of HoxPoxDox and the sneering dialogue of "new gods, flatscans, submit, we
will replace you" remains going round and round on repeat in my head. It became hard to think of anything else and, I will
admit, this preoccupation with the new X-status quo has indeed affected my WORK PERFORMANCE. But what can I do? The X-Men
as they are now have gripped my brain in a vise. Like I said elsewhere, when I read X-Men fanfic I have trouble enjoying
myself now because any passage mentioning this character or that then gets tainted by their characterization as Krakoans.
Think EVO Kitty in a fic suddenly replaced in the narrative by "shadowed-face eager-to-maim-flatscans" Kate. Ugh.
Maybe it's because I was never primarily exposed to X-Men in comics. I first learned of them from collectible trading
cards. By the time my dad bought me my first hardcopy issue, the TAS was already on TV. Then came EVO, and WATX, even
Marvel Anime and Disk Wars: Avengers or the Marvel Avengers Alliance browser game. So my primary view of X-Men are all
these condensed versions and not the comic-book ones that have been carrying more history, continuity and RETCONS than
those cartoons will ever have. Only more recently, as a rat-racer with an income, that I could try comics as is. And
frankly, I feel I came in seriously only when the X-Men were on the verge of snapping and turning heel, though supporters
might argue that they have long transcended the "human" concept of story-hero-villain.
Look, my mind has been plagued by the HoxPoxDox, ironically even though I care little for the story developments because
it's just not my type. But I find myself waking up a 2-3 AM (Phil time) just to open CBR again, go through the X-forums
and start my venting anew in the threads. It does not contribute to the discussion more often than not, but my chest keeps
getting weighed down by my animosity for Krakoa, haunted by images of X, Moira, Scott, Jean, Emma laughing at me before
they meld into a boot and I look down and find myself to be an ant. KRAKOA is stuck in my head even though I hate it and
it's driving me crazy!!!
Then this Saturday (Phil time) I got to watch "Frozen II." Packed theater. 3D glasses.
Suffice to say right now I have another pop culture phenomenon having its visuals, dialogue and music looping endlessly
in my mindscape. Hopefully that will be enough to restore my thought processes to an even keel. With that perhaps I can
word myself more reasonably in the X-forums. Maybe I'll even be able to just not post anything rather than react instantly
when my berserk button flares up. How long will Elsa/Idina Menzel keep the Shadows of Krakoa at bay in my mind? I'd rather
not say, save a prayer that it will be for as long as it can.
So there. I have explained myself. |