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  1. #31
    Mighty Member Godzilla2099's Avatar
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    I Love Lucy: Lucy and Superman

    Ricky Ricardo: [yelling at Lucy because she is out on the ledge] In the fifteen years that we've been married...

    Superman: Wait a minute Mr. Ricardo, do you mean to tell me that you've been married to her for fifteen years?

    Ricky Ricardo: Yes, fifteen years.

    Superman: And they call me Superman.
    Last edited by Godzilla2099; 12-10-2019 at 10:45 AM.

  2. #32
    Extraordinary Member j9ac9k's Avatar
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    Andy Dwyer from "Parks & Rec" - "Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have 'network connectivity problems'"

  3. #33
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    From Mary Tyler Moore

    Ted continues to mispronounce words during the news broadcast. An angry Lou goes to the typewriter and types out something on a sheet of paper. As Ted comes into the newsroom, Lou shoves the paper into Ted's hand.

    Lou: Here, Ted. Read this!!!!
    Ted: "You're fried"

  4. #34
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    From Frasier - Season 2 "The Innkeepers"

    Frasier and Niles decide to buy an old restaurant and restore it.

    Trying to decide on a name for their restaurant:
    Niles: Oh! What's the word for "lighthearted" in French?
    Frasier: There isn't one.
    Frasier: I've got it! Niles, I've got it! Les Freres Heureux.
    Niles: The Happy Brothers. Brilliant! It's homey but just hard enough to pronounce to intimidate the riff-raff.

    Frasier: We'll make the place very, very exclusive! No sign on the outside, no advertisements and oh, an unlisted number!
    Martin: Hey, well don't stop there! Maybe you could post some guards on the roof who can shoot people as they try to get in.

    Martin: See, that's your problem. You don't think about the hard work involved. To you, opening a restaurant is an excuse to wear fancy clothes, impress your snooty friends, and turning away people you don't like at the door.
    Niles: I HADN'T EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT!!!!

  5. #35
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    My favorite line is actually silent. In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode Hush everyone loses the ability to speak so they have to write and act out what they mean. They are discussing via writing how to stop the bad guys and Buffy makes a stabby motion that completely looks like something else and everyone else notices. About 1:35 seconds into this clip.


  6. #36
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    From Cheers - Diane is angry with Sam for being interviewed as an eligible bachelor

    Sam: It wasn't like there was any cheesecake.
    Diane: No, Sam. With men, it's beefcake. If I were to pose, it would be cheesecake.
    Carla: If you posed, it would be crumb cake.

  7. #37

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    Another Cheers Sam/Diane one. It's not an exact quote, but it's close:

    Sam: You said you weren't going to make fun of me now that we're intimate.

    Diane: No, I said I wouldn't make fun of you while we were intimate.

  8. #38
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    From Cheers:

    Diane: Okay, I will admit I have a little crush on you if you will admit that you have a little crush on me.
    Sam: Alright, I admit I have a little crush on you.
    Diane: Well, I DON'T have a little crush on you.

    Diane: I can't believe I tried to reason with someone whose idea of an intellectual conversation is to count along with Big Bird.

    Sam: You know, Woody, what you said really made me think.
    Woody: I'm sorry, Sam. I hate it when people do that to me.
    Last edited by caj; 12-20-2019 at 01:55 PM.

  9. #39
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    Another from Golden Girls:

    Blanche enters the kitchen in an absurd cowgirl outfit:
    Dorothy: Blanche, why are you dressed like that?
    Blanche: Because I am goin' to an authentic, Texas-style barbecue, and my date is a real-life cowboy.
    Dorothy: [astonished] Morty Fishbein is a real-life cowboy!!????

    the phone rings and Blanche answers
    Blanche: Hello? Morty... threw your back out putting your boots on? You're in traction? Oh, then I guess this means you're gonna be a little late?

    Blanche: I used to attract younger, more virile men. Now all they seem to want is women in their 20s and 30s. What's an attractive woman in her 40s supposed to do?
    Dorothy: Why don't we find one and ask her.

  10. #40
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    From Mary Tyler Moore

    Sue Ann is featured in an article in the newspaper
    Ted: Hey Mur, did you see the big spread on Sue Ann?
    Murray: Yeah, but you don't notice it so much when she sits down


    Ted is doing his James Cagney impersonation:
    Ted: alright you dirty rat, I'm outta here. I'm not eatin' any more of this dirty slop
    Ted: Okay, who am I?
    Murray: Sue Ann's first husband?

  11. #41

  12. #42
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    Pinky: gee, Brain, what happens if the dragon wakes up and eats us?
    Brain: that would alter our plans.

  13. #43
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    Another from Golden Girls:

    Rose is telling a ghost story to her cadet troop:
    Rose: and to this day, the ghost of the headless Indian roams the forest crying out 'where is my head, where is my head?'
    Girl: if the Indian doesn't have a head, how does he cry out?
    Blanche: maybe he talks out of his behind like Cadet Master Rose.
    Rose: well the Indian cries out from his heart. That's the worst kind of crying.
    Girl: My father is a doctor, that's physiologically impossible. How can we be drawn into the story if you're misrepresenting the facts?
    Dorothy: Honey, it's a make-believe scary campout story
    Girl: ohhhh, real scary
    Dorothy: You want scared, kid? Keep it up.
    Girl: my Mother is a lawyer. Threaten me again and I'll own your house.
    Dorothy: You father's a doctor, your mother's a lawyer. Who are you, one of the Cosby kids?

    later, Rose takes the troop out for pizza
    Blanche: I'm so glad those heathens finally left. I just don't think I have the energy to raise anymore children....although I still am in my child-bearing years.
    Dorothy: Sure Blanche, you and Imogene Coco
    The doorbell rings
    Blanche: Oh God, they're back
    Dorothy: now I know how the family in Poltergeist must've felt.

  14. #44
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    From Friends

    Rachel tries to get Joey to wear a shoulder bag
    Joey: It is odd how a woman's purse looks so good on me, a man.
    Rachel: Exactly - unisex
    Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple of days ago.
    Rachel: No Joey, u-n-I-sex
    Joey: (smiles) well, I ain't gonna say no to that.

    Later, Ross and chandler make fun of Joey and his bag.
    Rachel: Don't listen to them. I think it's sexy
    Joey: (smiles again) You and I sexy?

  15. #45
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    Another from Friends

    Ross and Rachel agree that each will have five 'vetos' to use for suggestions of their baby's name

    Rachel: If it's a girl, Rain
    Ross: Veto
    Rachel: James, but only if it's a girl
    Ross: Veto. How about Ruth, I like Ruth.
    Rachel: Oh, are we having an 89 year old? How about Dayton
    Ross: Veto. Stewart?
    Rachel: Veto. Sawyer?
    Ross: Veto. Ellen
    Rachel: Veto
    Phoebe: Is it me or is Veto starting to sound REALLY good?

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