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  1. #1
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    Default Funny lines from tv shows

    Post some funny lines from tv shows

    From Gilmore Girls:

    Rory has run away and Lorelai finally tracks her down:
    Lorelai: she's at my parents' house
    Luke: that's good. at least you know she's safe
    Lorelai: safe?? are you kidding. I grew up in that house. It's like the Amityville Horror without the happy times.


    Luke: how was dinner at your parents' house
    Lorelai: like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan but at least those guys got to go to France.

  2. #2
    Extraordinary Member Jokerz79's Avatar
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    Married with Children

    Peggy: Who would you rather spend the night with A your Wife, B

    Al: B.

  3. #3
    Old school comic book fan WestPhillyPunisher's Avatar
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    A topical line:

    “As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
    —-Arthur Carlson, WKRP In Cincinnati
    Avatar: Here's to the late, great Steve Dillon. Best. Punisher. Artist. EVER!

  4. #4
    Astonishing Member AndrewCrossett's Avatar
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    My favorite Arthur Carlson line is when he found out he sprinkled cocaine in his shoe, thinking it was foot powder:

    "I've got a monkey on my foot!"
    Make America Good Again.

  5. #5
    Ultimate Member Lee Stone's Avatar
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    Carol Burnett as Starlet O'Hara after fashioning a "gown" out of the curtain, complete with rod, receives a compliment and replies:
    "Thank you. I saw it in the window and couldn't resist it."
    (Carol Burnett Show)

    Lucy Ricardo: "Ever since we said 'I do', there have been so many things that we don't."
    (I Love Lucy)
    "There's magic in the sound of analog audio." - CNET.

  6. #6
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    " I love it when a plan comes together" Hannibal Smith in A-Team (he always said that in German, I think its a direct translation)

  7. #7
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    From Friends:

    Joey comes into Monica's apartment, does a happy little dance, and walks back out.

    Monica: Well, I guess Joey got the part.
    Chandler: Either that or Gloria Estefan was right and eventually the rhythm IS going to get you.

  8. #8
    Death becomes you Osiris-Rex's Avatar
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    "I know nothing, nothing" - Sergeant Schultz

  9. #9
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    From Golden Girls - Blanche wants a very sick Dorothy to go on a double date.

    Blanche: What are you doing?
    Dorothy: I think I'm dying. But then again, this 104 temperature may be clouding my judgement

    Blanche: You're going on this date.
    Dorothy: Blanche, my body aches
    Blanche: So does mine, honey. That's why I want to go on this date.

  10. #10
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    From Everybody Loves Raymond - Debra loses her driver's license and is forced to have her mother-in-law drive her around.

    Debra: I have to get my license back. If I have to spend one more day in the car with your mother, it's going to be in the garage with the door closed.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jokerz79 View Post
    Married with Children

    Peggy: Who would you rather spend the night with A your Wife, B

    Al: B.
    Peg: I see myself in a Jaguar
    Al: Oh, if only I could find one that hungry

  12. #12
    Still flying
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    Firelfly:

    Mal to Jayne: "Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle."

    Mal: "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!"
    Last edited by DjMichael691; 12-04-2019 at 03:57 AM.

  13. #13
    Latverian ambassador Iron Maiden's Avatar
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    Taxi:

    Louie (Danny DeVito) witnesses 2 of his drivers having an argument Tony (Tony Danza) and Bobby (Jeff Conaway)

    "Ah, a battle of wits between unarmed opponents"

  14. #14
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    From Mary Tyler Moore - Rhoda's parents, Ida and Martin, are visiting

    Martin: Rhoda, can I borrow your car?
    Rhoda: Sorry Pop, it's at the body shop. I sort of leave it there and take it out for accidents.

  15. #15
    New and Improved hulahulk's Avatar
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    On Cheers, Baby Frederick's first word was "Norm!" as Norm walked in to the bar. Lilith added, "He said 'Mommy!'"
    Original join date: sometime in 2002

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