Funny lines from tv shows

[caj]

From The Golden Girls Season 5 - Sisters and Other Strangers

Blanche's sister Charmaine has written a romance novel that Blanche believes is based on her life:

Blanche: You will not believe who I was just on the phone with. My sister Charmaine.
Dorothy: I didn't think the two of you were speaking
Blanche: We're not.
Rose: Then how did you know it was her on the other end of the phone?

Later, the ladies attend a book signing at a local book store for Charmaine's book
Dorothy: I don't see Blanche
Rose: She said she'd be here right after her hair appointment. She wanted to look her best for the book signing
Dorothy: Boy, Blanche is taking this a whole lot better than I would. I would kill Gloria if she ever wrote about my sexual escapades
Sophia: You'd kill your sister over a pamphlet?