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  1. #46
    Mighty Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018


    From The Golden Girls Season 5 - Sisters and Other Strangers

    Blanche's sister Charmaine has written a romance novel that Blanche believes is based on her life:

    Blanche: You will not believe who I was just on the phone with. My sister Charmaine.
    Dorothy: I didn't think the two of you were speaking
    Blanche: We're not.
    Rose: Then how did you know it was her on the other end of the phone?

    Later, the ladies attend a book signing at a local book store for Charmaine's book
    Dorothy: I don't see Blanche
    Rose: She said she'd be here right after her hair appointment. She wanted to look her best for the book signing
    Dorothy: Boy, Blanche is taking this a whole lot better than I would. I would kill Gloria if she ever wrote about my sexual escapades
    Sophia: You'd kill your sister over a pamphlet?
    Last edited by caj; 01-07-2020 at 01:02 PM.

  2. #47
    Mighty Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018


    From The Golden Girls Season 5 - Dancing In The Dark

    Rose meets Miles (who would continue to be her boyfriend thru the end of the series)
    Rose: You're a college professor?
    Miles: Well, yes Rose. What did you think when I told you I taught Hemmingway?
    Rose: I thought you were old.

    Rose prepares dinner for Miles and the ladies
    Rose: It's just some ground pork and cabbage.
    Sophia: The woman feeds me cabbage. In ten minutes I could be skywriting

    Later, Rose abruptly leaves the table
    Miles: Well, she sure left in a hurry.
    Sophia: Who told her to feed me cabbage?

    Rose: You go out with him, Blanche
    Blanche: I couldn't. I'd feel like a... like a...
    Dorothy: Like a backstabbing slut?
    Blanche: No
    Rose: Please, Blanche. I know you like him and it's over between us. Do it for me.
    Blanche: Well, if you insist. I guess I better go change.
    Rose (to Dorothy): Can you believe that backstabbing slut?

  3. #48
    Mighty Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018


    From Frasier - episode Agents IN America Part 3

    Bebe: Do you have any idea how hot you are? I get offers everyday from other stations offering the moon for you.
    Frasier: Good Lord, am I really that hot?
    Bebe: Are you kidding? If I were a pot roast, I'd be done.
    Niles: Hello, I'm Niles, a person at the table.
    Bebe: Niles, thank God you're here. Back me up. Give him some sound, brotherly advice.
    Niles: She's the Devil, Frasier. Run fast, run far.

    Niles learns that Frasier and Bebe have slept together.
    Frasier: All right, just go ahead. Get your shots in.
    Niles: No, no. I'm just glad you're all right. I would have assumed she killed after mating.

    Daphne: Oh, and I thought you might enjoy a nice fat-free tea biscuit. Will there be anything else?
    Bebe: No. You run along, I'm fine.
    Daphne: You're sure now? Because I could wait 'til you finish the biscuit and floss your teeth for you.
    Bebe: You are a cheeky little monkey, aren't you?
    Bebe tastes the biscuit
    Bebe: This cookie tastes like meat!
    Daphne: Yes, and it'll remove tartar and give you a nice, shiny coat!

  4. #49
    King of Wakanda Midvillian1322's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014


    House M.D

    “You ever notice all of the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa…can’t think of any others, they all die alone. Men, on the other hand, get so much tang it’s crazy.”

    Also House
    “I’m sorry, I’m about to lose you because I’m about to drive into a tunnel in a canyon on an airplane while hanging up the phone.”

  5. #50
    Mighty Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018


    From Friends - The One With All The Poker

    Chandler knows Ross has a thing for Rachel:
    Chandler: Could you want her more?
    Ross: Who?
    Chandler: Dee, the sarcastic sister from What's Happening!

    Rachel: God, could you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
    Monica: Oh I know. He can get really competitive.
    Phoebe: Ha!
    Monica: What?
    Phoebe: Hello kettle? This is Monica. You're black!

    Rachel: So basically you guys get your ya-ya's by taking money from all of your friends.
    Chandler: Yeah, and I get my ya-ya's from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.

    Monica: OKAY. Are we ready to play some serious poker?
    Ross: Well are you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy.

    Rachel: Ok, well, I'm turning in.
    Chandler: Rach, we have to settle.
    Rachel: Settle what?
    Chandler: The Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see King George is giving us the land.

    Ross looks over Rachel's resume
    Ross: Rach, did you proof read these?
    Rachel: Uh, yeah. Why?
    Ross: Uh, nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent "compuper skills".
    Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
    Joey: Ah, no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

    Rachel: Guess what, guess what?
    Chandler: Let's see, the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?

  6. #51
    Mighty Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018


    Another from The Golden Girls Season 3 - And Ma Makes Three

    Rose tells Blanche she's going to run against her for Fashion Show Chaiman

    Rose: I know just as much about fashion as you do.
    Dorothy: Ok, girls. Which goes better? The silver chain, or the pearls?
    Rose: The chain.
    Blanche: An amateur's mistake. Can't you see that the chain accentuates the many folds of that turkey like neck?
    Rose: That may be, but the pearls draw attention to the nonexistent bosom.
    Blanche: Yes, but, the chain leads the eye even lower to that huge spare tire jutting out over those square, manly hips.
    Dorothy: Why don't I just wear a sign that says 'too ugly to live'?!!!
    Blanche: Fine, but what are you going to hang it from, the chain or the pearls?
    Dorothy: Neither! I'm going to spray paint it on my HUMP!!!!!

  7. #52
    Mighty Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018


    From The Golden Girls

    Dorothy to Stan: I could vomit just looking at you.

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