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  1. #1

    Default Dumb Marvel Villains and Dumb Evil Plans

    In catching up to my Hulk history I FINALLY took it upon myself to red Defenders comics and start from the start with Marvel Feature 01-03, I can name a few villains from these stories (I'm up to issue 18 of volume 1 of Defenders) that came up with some boneheaded ideas.

    Everyone in the Marvel Feature Series:
    *Issue 01: Evil doctor is dying, decided to build a giant computer using both science and magic to destroy the world, and brag to Doc Strange about it on his deathbed.
    *Issue 02: Evil alien that can turn to cloud hypnotizes two astronauts to start their own children TV show with terrible writing to allure children to ride a rocket to a new planet instead of the destroyed home planet of Xemnu to repopulate a new planet for himself by letting human children reproduce and destroying Earth.
    *Issue 03: Evil crazy occultists want to summon Dormammu (Door Mouse Guy) to top the entire planet crust with scorching hot lava and be his loyal minions, even though he was insulting them even before commencing with their plan and talking down to them.

    And then the regular series starts, and Steve Engleharts issues are at least proper in villain motivation for 11 issues, then came Len Wein with some solid issues and two stories of villains with absurdly nutty plans:

    *Xemnu wants to repeat his mistake from Marvel Feature 02, but with population of an isolated town instead of children this time and a rocket built slowly inside the Town Hall. He also defeats Hulk and attracts the attention of other Defenders who again put a halt on his crap plan.

    *The Squadron Sinister want to destroy the planet Earth by selling it to an alien aquatic archaeologist to allow him to melt the icecaps and cause global flooding, all because baby mind Hyperion is mad that he was locked in a container and before that his atom world was demolished, the subatomic world that existed within confines of regular Earth.

    *Wrecking Crew destroy buildings more pricey than the ransom they demand, cherry-pick buildings owned by Kyle Richmond (the newly joined Defender at the time; Nighthawk) and ask for millions of dollars and cause more property damage, not caring that their money will lose value the more property they destroy (even if you were to remind me property destruction happens all too often in superhero comics, 80s and 90s comics had it especially worse). The Four Stooges do that more often it seems based on their appearance in Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon, not caring that they will eventually attract attention of superheroes in a city boatloaded with them who defeated them more than once before.




    *SIGH*

    List any ideas and stories you can think of that you read in the pages of some Marvel Comics. Max, Icon and Malibu count as well considering they are Marvel Imprints.
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  2. #2
    Mighty Member Anthony W's Avatar
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    Any villain or villains committing crimes in New York or New York City.

    IT'S. THE. SUPERHERO. CAPITOL. OF. THE. WORLD. STOP. IT.

    I'm just waiting for Electro or The Shocker to look at a map and realise that they can hit a bank or banks in Iowa with zero resistance.
    "The Marvel EIC Chair has a certain curse that goes along with it: it tends to drive people insane, and ultimately, out of the business altogether. It is the notorious last stop for many staffers, as once you've sat in The Big Chair, your pariah status is usually locked in." Christopher Priest

  3. #3
    Astonishing Member babyblob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anthony W View Post
    Any villain or villains committing crimes in New York or New York City.

    IT'S. THE. SUPERHERO. CAPITOL. OF. THE. WORLD. STOP. IT.

    I'm just waiting for Electro or The Shocker to look at a map and realise that they can hit a bank or banks in Iowa with zero resistance.
    I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.
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  4. #4
    Mighty Member Anthony W's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyblob View Post
    I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.
    Fun fact, there is a team called The Fantastix that operated out of Philadelphia. They left Philadelphia so they could make a name for themselves in New York! If your a villain guess which city you should head for? You can read about it in Fantastic Four #4 . Slott wrote it and the art was by Stefano Caselli and Nick Leon.
    "The Marvel EIC Chair has a certain curse that goes along with it: it tends to drive people insane, and ultimately, out of the business altogether. It is the notorious last stop for many staffers, as once you've sat in The Big Chair, your pariah status is usually locked in." Christopher Priest

  5. #5
    Formerly Assassin Spider Huntsman Spider's Avatar
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    To Shocker's credit, he did try to ply his trade, such as it is, in New Jersey . . . but then the resident hero of Jersey City, one Ms. Marvel, stumbled upon and beat him. I think that happened in one of the later issues of G. Willow Wilson's run.
    The spider is always on the hunt.

  6. #6
    Astonishing Member Riv86672's Avatar
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    Paste Pot Pete and any plan that doesn’t involve patenting his formula for legitimate millions.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riv86672 View Post
    Paste Pot Pete and any plan that doesn’t involve patenting his formula for legitimate millions.
    I've read a variety of appearances where he legit wins. Trapster's terrifying with the proper writers. For example, the JR jr./Mackie? issue where he pastes Spider-man and Gwen Stacy's brother's arms together and they have to run from him and in Claremont's Fantastic Four where he defeats Mr. Fantastic.

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    Deliberately amputates his hands and replaces them with swords.

  8. #8
    Mighty Member Anthony W's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huntsman Spider View Post
    To Shocker's credit, he did try to ply his trade, such as it is, in New Jersey . . . but then the resident hero of Jersey City, one Ms. Marvel, stumbled upon and beat him. I think that happened in one of the later issues of G. Willow Wilson's run.
    Hate to break it to you but I don't count New Jersey as being separate from New York nor does the rest of America lol
    Last edited by Anthony W; 09-06-2020 at 09:28 PM. Reason: Seriously....New Jersey?!
    "The Marvel EIC Chair has a certain curse that goes along with it: it tends to drive people insane, and ultimately, out of the business altogether. It is the notorious last stop for many staffers, as once you've sat in The Big Chair, your pariah status is usually locked in." Christopher Priest

  9. #9
    Uncanny Member XPac's Avatar
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    Though I wouldn't exactly call it dumb... I always got a kick out of Count Nefaria's plot to irradiate the human race with ionic energy to force all of mankind to be politer to him.

  10. #10
    Astonishing Member Riv86672's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by XPac View Post
    Though I wouldn't exactly call it dumb... I always got a kick out of Count Nefaria's plot to irradiate the human race with ionic energy to force all of mankind to be politer to him.
    ^^^thats funny af though!

    In general, any villain who wants to “ take over the world”. Once you do, you’re responsible for the upkeep. Heck w. that.

  11. #11
    Latverian ambassador Iron Maiden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyblob View Post
    I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.
    I grew up there....believe me, there isn't much left to rob.

  12. #12
    Boisterously Confused
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Force League Unlimited View Post
    ...*Wrecking Crew destroy buildings more pricey than the ransom they demand, cherry-pick buildings owned by Kyle Richmond (the newly joined Defender at the time; Nighthawk) and ask for millions of dollars and cause more property damage, not caring that their money will lose value the more property they destroy (even if you were to remind me property destruction happens all too often in superhero comics, 80s and 90s comics had it especially worse). The Four Stooges do that more often it seems based on their appearance in Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon, not caring that they will eventually attract attention of superheroes in a city boatloaded with them who defeated them more than once before.
    With this one I must take issue. That was part of a three-issue arc in which it was revealed the ransom was part scam, part cover. The Wrecking Crew were after a miniaturized gamma-bomb Thunderball had created for one of Richmond's companies. Thunderball had lost it in a vat of steel (or concrete) while tying reclaim his creation (or as Richmond's people saw it, steal their lawfully owned IP), and that steel (or concrete) was poured into the buildings the WC leveled.

    So, are the WC dumb? Oh, yeah. With the exception of Thunderball, that's been a constant feature of their depiction. Probably one of the most stable characterizations over the decades in all of comics.

    Was this plan dumb? Nah.

  13. #13
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    Ladies and germs, I present to you the Pope Nightcrawler plot from Chuck Austen's X-Men run.

    It goes a little something like this.

    Nightcrawler is studying to be a priest, but no one seems to remember him becoming one despite all of them attending and knowing he was consecrated as one.

    Turns out, it was a plot by a splinter of the Catholic Church who wants to make Nightcrawler pope and have his image inducer fail and herald him as the Antichrist all while communion wafers explode the people to dust causing people to believe the rapture has begin.

    There is a great many things wrong with this plot. For one, it was entirely unnecessary to bring in the X-Men. They had a mutant who could cast illusions. Using that one would have made this plot go off without a hitch.

    Second, becoming pope is a convoluted process that would take years and years.

    Third, the Rapture isn't catholic belief much less dogma.

    Fourth, there is no central place where communion wafers are made. They're all made locally.

    Fifth, the villain's motivation is dumber than a sack of hammers.

  14. #14
    Spectacular Member
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    I haven't read it myself but didn't Doc Ock have a plan to cure cocaine addiction?

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyblob View Post
    I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.
    It'd be just the villain's luck a superhero would be visiting Gary, Indiana that same day.

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