Originally Posted by
Robanker
Knowing someone doesn't invalidate them as your family. He is his biological grandfather and has keys to the universe the likes of which Jon could never fathom. Lots of children meet their grandparents from "the old country" and are immediately interested in their lives, even if their parents don't much like them. It's not that irrational. I'm heavy on nurture vs nature, but blood relatives are not for nothing and usually do have an effect on people, especially children.
Yes, he was presented as a villain, but considering Clark is someone who only ever sees the best in others and is willing to give them a chance (if he can give Luthor a chance, he can give his father one). Bendis himself in a podcast admitted he knew it wasn't a good idea but that people often make poor decisions to trust their family because, well, they're family. Clark was emotionally compromised. You can't call him out on this and forgive Sam Lane for having flaws at the same time. It's literally the same thing. They're being dumb about family with respect to their own internal decision making processes. Lois is the same. She dials in very hard on her dad's worst attributes and she can't let it go. She too is flawed, but whereas you forgive Sam, you seem to be unforgiving of her. Sam is trying to let go of his bigotry to connect with his daughter, sure, but he still represents and harbors a lot of traits that she in general is against. Sam, despite being her father, is the kind of person she is opposed to by nature. It's extremely difficult for her to process her feelings about her dad because, well, he's awful. Perhaps you don't know someone like that, but I do, and I'm still completely unsure if I'd even attend their funeral. Family complicates things that normally seem a helluva lot simpler, especially when you're not in the driver's seat. It's really easy to see her not take the flag and ask "why can't you let go." It's really hard to have 30+ years of history to check while also at a funeral for said person. But hey, I guess everyone's a paragon of virtue that can overcome their flaws, right?
Also, I don't know, building a rocket that he researched with all his remaining time to save his son knowing full well it'd be the last thing he did was pretty damn good of Jor-El. Wasn't as if he knew he'd be plucked from the timeline. More importantly, his last words to himself before he died was to reassure himself that Kal-El survived and is a hero that did what they couldn't. We know who Jor-El was from so many prior continuities to infer he did a lot of good on Krypton. At worst, he was an extremely troubled man who did good and bad things by the time he died, but let's not be so hyperbolic.
And now the part I'm sure you'll call foul on. You're cherry picking your Sam Lanes. Rebirth as an initiative was about restoring prior continuity and melding it with what came after. It means prior stories do, in fact, color perceptions of these characters. It means all the prior flashbacks and stories that informed Jor-El and Sam are still accurate and that means the former was a generally decent but flawed man when back on Krypton and the latter was still a bigot even if he argues he doesn't trust Superman because he can't verify him. A lot of bigots won't admit they're bigots, they rationalize their hate because they know racism is bad and don't want to see themselves as wrong or irrational. Sam's a dick. He loves his daughter and his country, but he sees an alien and doesn't judge him by his character or actions by but what he can do and what Sam himself is afraid of. He's xenophobic to a T. Retcons, like what's happened with Jor-El, do in fact shift those posts around but they don't invalidate everything that came before. We can't just pretend only Rebirth counts for Sam and Jor-El if it's not that way for everyone else.
Look at Luthor. All the justification in the universe for why he hates Clark and it always comes down to that Superman makes Luthor feel inadequate. I'm sure his justifications influence that, but he doesn't like that Superman makes him feel like he's not good enough and it's entirely about his ego. Sam cannot accept someone is on the up-and-up and not a natural-born American. He doesn't nearly show as much hostility for The Flash, Batman or Wonder Woman. It's Superman he has a problem with. The guy from another planet. If it was about powers, Flash would draw as much ire. If it was about a foreign figure threatening his country, Diana is a princess of another land with many of Clark's powers and has shown she will kill if necessary. If it's about means and scruples, Bruce has many and few. I imagine he doesn't like them much, but it's Superman above all else he distrusts.
I have family members who hold bigoted beliefs and I choose not to spend any time with them, but when forced, they can be outright civil. Pleasant. Masking behavior doesn't eliminate it. Sam was on his best behavior most likely because he wants to have access to his grandson, which I have no question that he adores as most grandparents do their grandchildren.
Lois is absolutely in the right to feel she shouldn't trust Sam and Clark is as well for being civil. They have different approaches to how to handle that situation but neither of them is particularly invalid and that difference likely helps them be good parents to Jon. Lois's intolerance of her father's piss poor behavior informs Jon that those beliefs are wrong and Clark's show Jon how to be better than them. It's classic Good Cop/Bad Cop, even if unintentional.