Choose From 1 of 4 Crazy Power Sets

[Shai-Hulud]

The Plot Gods show up, Trickster Coyote in tow.

They announce they’re going to give you a choice from among one of four power sets. As a bonus, you get restored to full health, and if you want it, transformed into your ideal body and de-aged to nineteen years old.

The Plot Gods make it so that no one recognizes your body as different from before. This includes any body changes from the power sets; that is, people see your unusual features, but everybody who already knows you will remember you as always having had them.

If you don’t choose a power set, Trickster Coyote, who knows your entire life history, chooses for you.

“I’ll make the best choice ever!” Trickster Coyote says, smiling and drooling uncontrollably. “Just trust me. You do trust me don’t you?”

The Plot Gods also tell you that you aren’t the only person getting enhanced. Every Rumbler that responds gets one of these power sets:

* Pre-Crisis Daxamite: You have absolute control over your powers, even when asleep or unconscious, including involuntary functions. This prevents things like destroying mountain ranges with a sneeze or reducing your wife to subatomic particles when you make love to her. As a bonus, you have Querl Dox-level knowledge of biochemistry and chemistry, and can concoct an anti-lead serum. The serum only lasts for 24 hours, but your body never rejects it, no matter how long you live. You can make seven days of serum in one hour from household chemicals and a high school chemistry set. After a week in storage, the serum degrades. You also get a lifetime supply of indestructble clothing. Limitations: Lots of lead on Earth, gotta keep that serum going.

* Toon Force Sailor: You get the powers of default Popeye, plus the ability to summon a can of spinach from any convenient location: pockets, inside a hat, your corncob pipe, etc. Your spinach enhances you to full Popeye levels for the duration. Limitations: This is Toon Force, so you have to be at least somewhat funny or amusing within the confines of 20th century American cartoons for your powers to be fully operative, especially at the spinach empowered levels. Also, your forearms become huge, less so if you’re female, but still noticeably even in that case. Each forearm has an unremoveable anchor tattoo, although you can change the design at will (always an anchor though).

* Xemnu the Titan: You gain all the powers of Xemnu the Titan, including strength, durability, telepathy, mind control and telekinesis. Xemnu also possesses serial immortality, so if your body is destroyed you can possess and transform a new one. You also have all of Xemnu’s extraterrestrial STEM knowledge, so you can build FTL starships. Limitations: You gain a comic book physique (you might enjoy this). If you’re a guy, you grow to six-foot-nine, women to six-foot-three. All the hair on your body turns snow white, and the hair on your head grows extremely long, down to your mid-back, at least, and regrows each night if you cut it. Guys grow long snowy beards overnight, but you can still shave.

* Astral Mastery: You can astrally project anywhere in the universe, and to whatever other dimensions we actually have (hell, heaven, realms where souls are reincarnated, whatever). You never get lost, having Silver Surfer level navigation. You can summon a sphere of translucent white light that protects against demons and evil spirits as powerful as MU Mephisto. While you’re projecting, your body goes into suspended animation after the fashion of Stone Boy (Legion of Subs). You can influence your dreams and use them for creative insights into any discipline or problem (art, music, science, personal issues, etc). Limitations: You get no offensive powers.

Bonus question: It's not just you getting empowered here. Does the fact that other Rumblers are also gaining powers influence your choice in any way?