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  1. #1

    Default Animal Fight Thread

    Real life animal dream matchups. I'll probably add more whenever the mood strikes me.

    1: Komodo Dragon vs. Salt Water Crocodile. Fight on land. Similar sized Crocodile- they can get MUCH bigger so let's nerf that and use a smaller one.

    2: Male Orangutan vs. Hyena matriarch.

    3: Wolverine vs. Honey Badger.

    4: North American Badger vs. Tasmanian Devil.

    ALSO! Feel free to add your own match ups here. It's an open thread - you can all contribute.
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  2. #2
    Prince of Duckness Beadle's Avatar
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    Fight on land for the salty is a real problem. Because they can’t chew or slice with their teeth, they do their underwater/in-water thrashing roll to tear off body parts and swallow them whole. If it can’t roll around in water, it’s comparatively really not very effective.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    Fight on land for the salty is a real problem. Because they can’t chew or slice with their teeth, they do their underwater/in-water thrashing roll to tear off body parts and swallow them whole. If it can’t roll around in water, it’s comparatively really not very effective.
    I dunno. There are some videos floating around of death rolls on land. One Crocodile actually tears the arm clean off of another Crocodile while performing a death roll on land.
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  4. #4
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    How would a bear do against a wildebeast?

  5. #5
    Prince of Duckness Beadle's Avatar
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    Polar bear vs three lions.

    Squirrel with a small calibre handgun vs a badger with a flick-knife.

    Silverback with a bag of potatoes vs a narwhal in a combine harvester.
    Last edited by Beadle; 03-06-2020 at 12:30 PM.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jcogginsa View Post
    How would a bear do against a wildebeast?
    Wildebeest goes down hard.

    There are numerous videos of mama Grizzlies chasing down and overpowering Elk, Deer and even the odd cow. A healthy male bear is going to absorb whatever early offense comes it's way and toss the animal on it's back and finish it off.
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  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    Polar bear vs three lions.

    Squirrel with a small calibre handgun vs a badger with a flick-knife.

    Silverback with a bag of potatoes vs a narwhal in a combine harvester.
    Polar bear might actually lose. Polar bears are the largest land predators in the world, but other then the occasional skirmish with other polar bears, they lack practical fight experience against other mobile predators. 1 lion? The bear mauls him. 3 lions? They can effectively shake him up with hit and run tactics like you would see in the wild. Nipping at his legs and rear end and then springing away as he twists to retaliate, only for another lion to rinse and repeat the maneuver. It takes a looong time and may very well involve a lion death, but I think they tire him out and finish him in attrition.

    Badger smashes the squirrel. Squirrels lack the necessary strength to properly wield and fire a weapon of any calibre. Meanwhile, badgers are all trained from birth to use knives of any sort.

    Silverback uses its superior mobility to avoid the initial charge from the Harvester. As it crashes into the Arena wall, the Silverback scales the vehicle to find a badly confused Narwhale thrashing against the controls. What follows is day long event where the Gorilla munches on potatoes while watching its foe tire out.
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  8. #8
    Prince of Duckness Beadle's Avatar
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    Good answers. Can you spot the point in that last post where I changed tack slightly.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    Good answers. Can you spot the point in that last post where I changed tack slightly.
    *squints*

    Nope. All seems like legit animal fights to me! I had in fact totally forgotten that most adult badgers are trained knife fighters.
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  10. #10
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    A Pack of Wolves vs. a tribe of Monkeys.

    Battle takes place in a forest.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jcogginsa View Post
    A Pack of Wolves vs. a tribe of Monkeys.

    Battle takes place in a forest.
    What type of monkey?
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Arbiter View Post
    What type of monkey?
    Let's go with Mandrills

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jcogginsa View Post
    Let's go with Mandrills
    Hmm. Wolves are nearly twice the size of Mandrills.

    Problem here is twofold. 1: Mandrills have the environmental advantage. 2: They DRASTICALLY outnumber the wolves.

    Mandrills live in Troops of nearly 600 individuals. If we bring it down to a single family unit, it's still 40+ members against 6-8 wolves.

    With those numbers, the environment and those big fangs, I think they take this without much trouble.
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Arbiter View Post
    Hmm. Wolves are nearly twice the size of Mandrills.

    Problem here is twofold. 1: Mandrills have the environmental advantage. 2: They DRASTICALLY outnumber the wolves.

    Mandrills live in Troops of nearly 600 individuals. If we bring it down to a single family unit, it's still 40+ members against 6-8 wolves.

    With those numbers, the environment and those big fangs, I think they take this without much trouble.
    I was assuming equivalent numbers.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jcogginsa View Post
    I was assuming equivalent numbers.
    Equal numbers, either it's an eternal tie as the Mandrills harass then retreat, or the wolves win.

    The Mandrills cant do significant damage unless they commit to staying down and truly fighting. Eventually they get ripped up by teeth if they choose this strategy. The wolves get hurt but win.
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