DC: Okay, everyone. Solo title choosing time! I’m gonna talk to you guys one by one, alright? And just as a pointer: if you’re female, here are the four things you need to be to have a chance of getting that solo title: either:
Have a victimising backstory that is not left alone for a single page of your first issue.or
Have several massive holes in your costume, a waist the size of Lego Friends’ mini dolls and breasts quite possibly larger than your head. Plus, don’t forget having a profession such as ‘striptease’ or ‘nothing’. *or
Be Supergirl.or
Be a lesbian.
Men, wear a loose costume, wear a tight costume, don’t let me tell you what to do! But make sure YOUR FAMILY IS CONSTANTLY IN DANGER.
Right, lets get started.
Damn, Power Girl, don’t think you’re exposed enough. But- hey, I think I could get you a few issues in Harley Quinn’s title if every character constantly talk about your boobs.
Voodoo? Okay, fine. Here’s a title. But make sure you’re essentially naked for at least half of your first issue. No, three quarters! No, all of it!
Zatanna? Wearing a swimsuit and fishnets? Make it bare legs and maybe next time you’ll be out of the team titles, sweetheart.
Batgirl? Sure. As long as we reinstate that one part of highly controversial canon that puts ya in a wheelchair- can’t have any women overshadowing the men, can we?
Reserruction Man? Yeah, no one knows who you are- at least 100 issues for this man, guys! **
Batman? Here you go! At least 6 titles mainly about you.
It’s kinda ridiculous, to be honest. Does it get better at Rebirth, guys?
* people, before you comment that 2 isn’t sexist, please find me a New 52 issue where a man walks around parading his...package wearing only a pair of underpants for the whole issue
**Resurrection Man is excellent, btw.