Worst Names to Give Your Dog

[Tami]

Something I was just joking about with my husband.

If you have two active dogs whose names you often call out in public, don't name one 'Help' and the other 'Police'.

What names would you never give a pet dog, if you don't want unwanted attention?

[Malvolio]

True story: My cousin Allen had a beautiful malamute named Snow. Then he got a mutt and named him Storm. So in the summer time, when both dogs were out in the yard and Allen wanted to call them in to eat, he would yell, "Snow, Storm!"

[CaptCleghorn]

A Dog Named Sex

By Morty Storm

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex." He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too!"

Then, I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then, I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.

He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny -- I have the same problem."

One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."

Then, I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.

[Riv86672]

I adopted a Dachshund a few years ago from a neighbor that was moving away.
The dog’s name is, I kid you not, Bitch.
Luckily she also answers to girl, for the most part.

[MRP]

There's an old bit by the comedian Steven Wright about naming his dog Stay, then calling him when he was on linoleum to watch the chaos...Here! Stay! Here! Stay!...

-M

[numberthirty]

The Jerk is kinda the "Gold Standard..." when it comes to this, no?

Can't really go into the "Why?..." for the folks that don't know, but it was literally the first thing that came to mind.

[GindyPosts]

As a Naptowner who remembers an old Bob & Tom Show segment, I keep thinking about naming your dog "Fumble" or "4th and 20".

And "Monkey". Name your dog after another species.

[williamtheday]

Not dogs, but this a joke I heard: Long ago, an old couple were sad that they had no children. But incredibly, the woman became pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. "I will call him 'Happy', because we are so happy to have him.", said the mother. A year later, the old woman was again pregnant, and gave birth to another healthy baby boy. The old couple named him 'Wonderful', because it was so wonderful to have two sons. Well, it wasn't too long after that the old couple were blessed with a third healthy boy. They named him 'Fantastic', of course. Years later, the boys were grown and took their parents place working in the fields. But sadly, while the boys were at work, their father died. The mother ran out to the fields, crying, "Happy, Wonderful, Fantastic! Father is dead!

[Tuck]

How 'bout Judas?

[Zelena]

What about Dog?

[Tami]

What about Dog?

Dog's not so bad. I call mine 'Dumb dogs' often enough, even outside. "Hey! Dumb Dogs! Home! Now!" They actually respond to that.

[seismic-2]

There's an old joke about a guy who named his dog "Physician", so that he could point to the dog and quote Luke 4:23, "Physician, heel thyself!"

[Tami]

There's an old joke about a guy who named his dog "Physician", so that he could point to the dog and quote Luke 4:23, "Physician, heel thyself!"

He could have named the dog Beethoven so that he could sing, "Roll over, Beethoven"

[Malvolio]

[John Ossie]

Cliff. For some reason whenever you take a dog to a park there's always a lot of Cliff's about so whenever you shout CLIFF! About five or six guys turn their heads LOL.