This isn’t to say that all Mike Pence did was alternate between lying and hiding since becoming vice-president. He still surfaces to waste taxpayer dollars to do things like try to defeat Kim Jong Un’s regime by impotently staring angrily at the Korean DMZ, to lick Donald Trump’s boots in televised Cabinet meetings, or the time he attended a Colts game with the intention of angrily storming out if if anyone protested by kneeling during the national anthem. ON YOUR TAXPAYER DOLLARS FOR TRAVEL AND SECURITY FOR THAT STUNT.
Pence, during the Trump administration, has been called out for helping funnel money towards Donald Trump’s businesses by manipulating his travel itinerary to stay at Trump resorts and bill American taxpayers for a small fortune. He's also using his office to again direct money towards Christian groups, similarly to what he did with groups that supported gay conversion therapy while in Congress.
In 2018, Pence started to ape Trump’s bigoted rhetoric more, as he praised disgraced former Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, defended the Trump White House for banning CNN reporters from covering events (because what’s the big deal about the First Amendment, right?), cited false statistics about how people from the Middle East were sneaking across the U.S./Mexico border with refugees from Central America, or appeared with a fake rabbi who claims Jews who don’t accept Jesus go to hell at an event to honor Jews slain by a Neo-Nazi in Pittsburgh.
He has been rewarded for his loyalty by Trump by being thrown under the bus, completely, and as Trump’s corruption began to be laid bare in his dealings with Ukraine, and the impeachment inquiry began… Trump responded on September 25th, 2019, by telling the media that they should also ask Mike Pence about the times that he has demanded quid pro quos. Pence did push back on that, but hardly enough to convince us that there might not be some truth to it… and then EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland testified, it looked like Mike Pence would go back to just denying, denying, denying all the facts for the foreseeable future (which he is practiced in doing, but still).
And then… Covid-19 happened. And Donald Trump is f***ing incompetent, but also terrified of receiving blame. So he named Mike Pence to be his patsy… we mean head of the Coronavirus Task Force in February 26th, 2020. As you might have noticed… Pence done f***ed up. Repeatedly and often. Who would thought the man who botched the response to an HIV outbreak while Governor of Indiana could mismanage a highly contagious respiratory pandemic and that 325,000 to 350,000 will be dead by the time he leaves office?
And forgive us if we take absolute glee in having seen Vice-President Elect Kamala Harris trounce him in a debate a few weeks ago lecture him for trying to interrupt her like a schoolteacher telling an unruly student to shut their entitled cake hole (Also, REAL s***ty of Karen Pence to run on stage afterwards without a mask. Truly, the epitome of a Karen). We still aren’t out of tough times, and whatever glimmer of hope happens, we savor. Seeing this Evangelical white nationalist have his place taken by the first female VP, the first African American VP and the first Asian-American VP… ooooooh hell yeah we are here for that.
We hope this is the last time we ever mention Mike Pence, who deserves to be trapped in one of those Phantom Zone mirrors like the Kryptonian bad guys in Superman II and cast off into space. And that would be a mild punishment for the f***ery he’s carried out.