I realize the second set of things, and simultaneously realize the first set of things that you disagree with. Shooting children, cutting off power to Palestinian areas, bulldozing homes (in order to do the second thing on the list you disagree with) even if people are in the way, are just some of the things Israel's defense forces are guilty of. Stealing land can only be denied if you deny the borders of Israel itself and believe their borders are wherever they declare them to be. It's commonly talked about on the news, including your BBC. As for apartheid, allowing some to work and live as second-class (as non-Jewish/non-Hebrew) citizens is again undeniable if you're not reflexively denying any criticism of Israel or the facts on the ground. This is known, complained about in most of the civilized world (outside of Israel and the US), and continually allowed to happen because we enable them. As to an ethno-theocratic state, you said yourself they're the Jewish homeland with Jewish rule. I don't see where there's room for denial, or grounds for pretending to be a democracy.
Which of those things do you think they are not doing? If you concede they are doing them, are you saying that because they're surrounded they have every right to be bad actors because it's in "self defense"?
Not when it comes to international and UN condemnation of their actions. Only when it comes to discussions of those actions in the US or Israel. That's what the kids call a "double standard".