RuPaul's DRAG RACE [All Stars 5]

[Kieran_Frost]

I'm so sorry for the lateness... ugh. Okay, I'll be honest: this season is so uninspiring. It doesn't motivate me to rush and do these reviews. I'm left feeling bored or meh for 90% of it, and THIS IS ALL STARS. What happened? So my reviews will get very matter of fact/cut down. As I don't really care who wins what, as most of the time they'd be lost in a truly good season of All Stars. It's so dull. All Stars 1 was better than this! AND THAT'S THE T. And as for the drama... I believe India. Mayhem said in the confessional ep3 "I though the PLAN was for us to vote out Shea?"
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RuVIEW
EPISODE V

The queens walk back into the werk room after Mayhem's elimination; and count out all the lipsticks. And like with Ongina, everyone voted for Mayhem... including Mayhem.

SNATCH GAME OF LOVE
I didn't mind the format change in AS4 and I don't mind it here, I just wish the queens, not the show, picked who was with who in each segment; because the pairings seemed unfair. And I'm going to be honest... it's called SNATCH Game. Snatch? Vagina! Very, very occasionally a guy comes along who I accept as being on Snatch Game. Paul Lynde and Little Richard worked, they are basically drag queens. Liberace, Boy George, even Mr Humphires from Are You Being Served? would be acceptable... JUST. David Attenborough? No. Michael Jackson? No. Flavor Flav? NO NO NO! It's called Snatch Game, not impersonation game.
TEAM #TOMMYDORFMAN
Miz Cracker as Lady Gaga. She looked the part and she had that head nod, the nose swipe... but... it just seems such an odd choice. It's been done twice... badly. I will say this is the best Lady Gaga we've had. It just... wasn't funny.
Alexis Matteo a Walter Mercado. She was funny. She looked the part; and it's the specific case where I (just about) accept a guy on the show. And she was smart, the physic brand really works on this game show; I just wish she hadn't relied so much on "bet you didn't see that coming!" because it was SO FUNNY the first time. By the fifth time... barely a titter.
India Farrah as Jeffree Star. She looked PERFECT! And that's where complements ends. It was gross, sexual and not funny. It was a car crash. Top ten worst Snatch Game performances.
TEAM #JEFFREYBOWYER-CHAPMAN
Blair St. Claire as Ellen Degeneres. This was confusing. I didn't get Ellen from this, not even in the look.
Shea Coulee as Flavor Flav. This was a very good performance, a GREAT character study. But... this has no place on a Drag show.

SNATCH TROPHY: Jujubee as Eartha Kitt. While a small part of me was annoyed it was ANOTHER repeat character choice, Juju really did it the best. She looked great; I loved how she was flirting with Shea, it was very, VERY fun even when not answering a question she stayed active. Possibly the iconic line of the season will be: "I would sensually walk to the thermostat and turn up the thermostat to a sensible 74." I did feel she was falling a little out of character in two moments, but her lines was so damn funny I didn't care. "Ribbet, ribbet, I'm a lady frog. And you are a sweet prince. I am convincing you." BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

MAINSTAGE
Ru comes down the runway in this- OH MY GOD- I LOVED IT! This was a paintball princess, womana! It's incredible. It's... one of the best looks she's ever ever ever worn. So simple, but so regal. SHE IS THE QUEEN!!!! THE QUEEN!!!!

CATEGORY IS... PROM QUEEN FANTASY!
Interesting this was filmed BEFORE Season 12; so it wasn't in homage to Gigi Goode's stunning finale 5 extravaganza runway. Merely a coincidence. And lets be real; these are All Stars, and none of them even came close to eclipsing Ms. Goode. Not even insight of her shadow. And that shouldn't happen on All Stars. So...
RUNWAY TROPHY: Gigi Goode.


TOOT
Blair St. Claire. Initially I was torn on this; but the more I looked at it, the more I just thought it was beautiful. It was the nerdy boy in his ruffled tuxedo, becoming the prom queen of our dreams. Loved her bejeweled stiff pussycat wig with the crown. It looked so expensive. So gorgeous. Blair really is running away with the look crown this season. I hope she makes it to the top 4.
Jujubee. Juju hasn't let me down with her looks, but she hasn't gagged me yet. This gave me 80s lavender prom, and it was a silhouette we've not had from her this season. It was all very tasteful, very beautiful, love the butterflies... but a little boring. For Juju it was bold, but I really want her to have a Latrice Royale latex balls from the heavens break-through moment, where she gives us a gag worthy look unlike anything we've seen before. This was not that. The crimped hair was gorgeous.
Miz Cracker. The ache is what sold it. She looked like... a tragic prom date. And it was quintessential Cracker. REALLY good acne spots too, I was impressed by them. The dress was quite ugly, but that gave me prom too. Most 18 year olds have terrible, terrible taste in fashion. Regardless the centre-piece was the acne and that's why it's a toot.

BOOT
Alexis Matteo. I didn't get prom dress. AT ALL. It was a pageant dress. That was not the assignment. Ironically it was one of her prettiest looks yet. But "prom"? I don't think. And she's back to painting her face oval again. NO.
India Ferrah. This... looked like a slutty prom-dress version of her (iconically BAD) slutty circus ring-master in season 3. It wasn't prom. It was just a nice, gothic, dark fantasy dress. I liked it, but it didn't give me prom.
Shea Couleé. Controversially... I didn't like this. I LOVED THE IDEA! Carrie meets Sasha Velour, but it was all put together in such a hodge-podge way. There was too much going on, too many ideas. The dress should have been streamlined to emphasis the head piece. But all the lines, and the architecture on it took away and distracted from the headpiece and blood. The blood on the sleeves and down the back didn't work; it didn't look like blood. It didn't look like a prom dress either, that's the problem. Put it another way... Raja did this same look better on season 3. That shouldn't happen. The pouring of the blood looked better, the crispness was better. It was much cleaner. Raja killed it. This was a boot.


THIS WEEKS LIPSYNC ASSASSIN IS... Vanjie Mateo??? And the Werq the World trend continues. I think Vanjie is great, and entertaining, but Vanjie is not a lipsync assassin. Not even close. She's won 2 of her 4 lipsyncs (now 2 of 5), and ONLY her lipsync to Mary J. Blige's "No More Drama" was incredible. She went home on her first episode, that's how "meh" her lipsyncing can be. And here she did a good job, but this was the weakest assassin performance of the whole season. Yvie > Monet > Morgan > Alyssa > Vanjie. And Shea did good. I hated that glittered nappy; and I didn't get 80s from either of them.

OVERALL
The best episode of the series so far, and a good Snatch Game; some actually great performances and sinfully shocking drama elevated it above normality. It's not enough (yet) to rescue the season, but things are getting progressively better. I was, at-least on some level, pleased.
~ rating: 3 out of 5 [grade: B]