RuPaul's DRAG RACE [All Stars 5]

[CellarDweller]

Where to start?

The whole song and dance routine to crushes really didn't do much for me. There were some funny moments.....The queens professing love for Hannibal Lecture and Mr. Rogers were funny. Jujubee and her plea to John Stamos to come "fill her house" was cute.

I thought it would've been better to have the queens have their outfits reflect who their crushes were, but no one did that. On to the runway.....

Blair St. Clair. I thought it was great, but it didn't fit the theme of "Skin I'm In".

Shae Couleé was amazing! She definitely deserved the win. I have to admit, and I don't know why, but I don't like India Ferrah, but her look was amazing. I didn't expect her to be in the bottom, because I thought her runway look was so great.

Ongina...........I was not impressed by her at all in the challenge or on the runway, and I knew she was going to be the bottom. Then, she uttered the words that are the nail in the coffin, that she should be the one to go home. BOOM! No queen survives that!

Lip sync assassin...........Alyssa? She wasn't bad by any means, but was she holding back? I thought she would do more than she did. It was an easy win for Shae Couleé.


Am I the only one who wants Mz Cracker to go home? I think she has a stank-ass attitude. If she does go, she is not one I will miss. Her drama with Ongina was annoying. The only thing worse was Mayhem being pissed at Juju. Juju wasn't even rude with her assessment.

On to the next challenge........

[Kieran_Frost]

It's fan art Friday. This was hard to find ones a) I liked, b) I cared about that moment, c) didn't get me banned. Sadly 90% of Shea's fan art I didn't want to risk posting, because the boobs look like actual boobs in the art.

FOSSEN
https://www.instagram.com/fossengram/


JASE'S ART
https://www.instagram.com/jasesnart/


RIK DRAWS
https://www.instagram.com/rikdrawsthings/

I thought it would've been better to have the queens have their outfits reflect who their crushes were, but no one did that. On to the runway.....

100% agreed. If one of them had to make the costumes that went with it. ESPECIALLY for serial killers, they could have painted these on easily.

Shae Couleé was amazing! She definitely deserved the win. I have to admit, and I don't know why, but I don't like India Ferrah, but her look was amazing. I didn't expect her to be in the bottom, because I thought her runway look was so great.

I am pleased India has defied expectation, gained new fans and shown she DOES have talent. But no, I've not necessarily warmed to her much either. AND YES, her look was sooooo good.

Lip sync assassin...........Alyssa? She wasn't bad by any means, but was she holding back? I thought she would do more than she did. It was an easy win for Shae Couleé.

THANK-YOU! It should have been Coco. THAT would have been a battle.

Am I the only one who wants Mz Cracker to go home? I think she has a stank-ass attitude. If she does go, she is not one I will miss. Her drama with Ongina was annoying. The only thing worse was Mayhem being pissed at Juju. Juju wasn't even rude with her assessment.

I love Miz Cracker. And I think her comments were needed, but still fair. But I love her Review with a Jew. I'm sad she's not doing them for AS5, which makes me worried she is gonna be the villain...

[Kieran_Frost]

RuVIEW
EPISODE III

The queens walk back into the werk room after Ongina's elimination; and count out all the lipsticks and discovered the voting was unanimous... even Ongina voted for herself. And it was unanimously sad. I wish she had brought it. Pity.

"My closest friend on season 10 was Anxiety. And after the drama this morning... she's back!" ~ Miz Cracker

It's a new day in the werk room and I'm just going to come out and say it: I don't care for Alexis Mateo. But we'll get into that below (SEE: "We Need to Talk About Alexis"). My favourite moment was Juju and Shea comforting Cracker as they walked to the video message; these are my iconic queens and the only three deserving of a Top 3 spot. Ru enters the werk room to announce the maxi-challenge in a very cool paint-splash suit, not sure the lavender shirt and neon lime green crocks went with it, but who am I to judge?

SHANTAY! ENJOY YOUR STAY
Similar to All Stars 4, this is a design challenge that I am SO EXCITED is back. It's testing the queens design skills, concept creation and hosting abilities. And gave us the now legendary... "shhhhhh, club 69." They have to make a high end boutique and sell it with their personality. I wasn't a massive fan of the teams being randomly chosen. This is where a mini-challenge would have helped; or have Shea pick her competitors like India did ep2. OR have Shea, Mariah and India as team captains as the winner/surviving bttm3 queens. I've never fully understood how much the queens need to paint the room, and design it, or how much they did to give 'the idea' and have actual designers do it later. I did love Mariah saying "this is reallllllll nice" as she taps her pink brush on their green wall. And Cracker unable to help paint because she can't reach was funny.

THE GOLDEN GALS PALACE & RESORT
As a concept I loved the idea; and the pattern based on Shea's entrance look was very smart (as it was such a great colour pallet). Shea looked AMAZING, and personally I don't care she used one of Sophia's line. Cracker was the best of the three, while she didn't look very old, she carried her body to give the illusion. The best moment was her talking to the grandchildren on the telephone before they hung up. I think Rose is harder to make 'dumb' when she is mostly talking solo. And I didn't understand the cream-cheese/cheesecake bit. And then we come to Mariah. She didn't look old, she didn't act old. Did she look fabulous? YES. Was that the assignment? No. As anyone who's seen Crystal on Drag Race UK's Snatch Game can attest, Blanche is such a difficult character to do. I don't think anyone appreciates how Blanche had the hardest role. To make a sexy slut funny YET intelligent and sophisticated... while still being a slut, is HARD! With three team players, why choose Blanche over Sophia? That's crazy to me, Sophia is so easy to do. Just waffle on with stories till Shea puts you down. That said, I'd slap a meat treat on Jason's face too. HA!

THE GLAMAZONE
This room was basic AF. Part of the criteria was high end, and this did not look high end. It felt like where Coco Montrese stayed the night before filming her Ru-animal perfume ad. Jujubee's idea of wild Alaska would have been SO GOOD! You could even have "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" as the opening line; to add a silly layer. Juju slayed this challenge, she was funny from beginning to end, and she looks fantastic. India was lost, this was her weather girl all over again. And am I the only one who didn't understand the golden shower? In a jungle? Is piss a jungle thing? And what was with her orgasm performance? To quote Jinx Monsoon "have you ever had one?" That said she did look so, SO beautiful. Then we come to Alexis. Her outfit was a mess. She looked a mess. Bloodshot eyes, make-up and hair looking far more busted than Season 3. What happened? And she wasn't funny. Jason and Bruno's tiger play fight was far more entertaining (SIDE NOTE: I would watch that video!)


24K
At the very start I was... shocked that they are repeating the mistakes of Club 96. But you know what.... they turned it out! The doubled down on the jokes, getting more and more absurd as it went on, which is THE ONLY way to make this idea work. Absurdist theatre at it's best. "Rich. How Rich? So rich. Very rich. Daddy rich!" They were the crazy old ladies from Arsenic and Old Lace, post-Fountain of Youth. I was here for it. "Expensive. Rich. Expensive rich." It was SO STUPID and I loved it. It even made Michelle break character, that's how good a job they did. Mayhem's best moment was playing the mirror's voice.
HOTEL TROPHY: Blair St. Claire. This was the best suite, and she was the funniest of the two. Her look! that gorgeous gold and green shimmer with the see-through lace gloves. I lived. And not only did she bring this absurd "Celebre-tayy" character to life, she was flexible enough to go against tradition and say the drink tastes like chicken. Smart. Well planned out. Full realised. She was a star. And should have won this week!



WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ALEXIS...
I'm going to prefix this by saying DO NOT SEND ANY QUEENS HATE ONLINE! In fact, don't send anyone hate on line; that's a good rule to live by. I don't agree with any of the hate she's been getting for this episode, people need to relax. It's just drag. THAT SAID... Alexis is not an innocent party. I don't supporting sending her hate, but I do not feel sorry for her. She put negativity out there, and it bit her in the ass. That's on her. Cause > Effect.

That said... I don't care for Alexis Mateo. And I'm saying this on my blog, NOT on her Twitter or Instagram. I'm sure she is lovely as a person, but I'm reviewing her TV persona. And her TV persona is not nice. I felt her confessionals waaaaay back in Season 3 were mean spirited, rather than shady and I feel that same personality is coming out this season. Criticising Cracker for 'mindgames' as "real talk", saying it wasn't respectful (when Cracker apologised, of her own accord) was bullsh*t. And then for Alexis to not only DO THE VERY SAME THING, but continue through the episode to attack Cracker... it was utter hypocrisy. I hate hypocrisy. It's the reason I have so little time for the Vixen, because if you are gonna have standards, then live by them too. But one rule for others, and another for you... no.

I LOVED Juju looking at the camera and saying "second language my ass" and she was right. Juju called it: Alexis is actually the one playing mind games. It didn't come off as giving a much needed truth bomb, it didn't come off as defending Ongina, it came off as attacking Cracker because she's fierce competition. Alexis is a pageant queen, they play wicked mind games. And if you think she's above back-handed moves, I'll remind you she said (about Shea) "I'm not scared to compete with her"... and then takes the opportunity to vote Shea off. By the time she dived into Cracker's conversation across the room saying "So you don't respect me..." it was apparent to everyone how insincere her behaviour is, Shea called it, Juju called it. Alexis is being shady. That doesn't justify sending her hate, but it means I have no sympathy. She played with fire and is getting burnt. That's on her. [Glittered Raspberry]

... TO BE CONTINUED

[Kieran_Frost]

CONTINUED...
Ru comes down the runway in a choice. It reminded me of Aquaria's Miami winter realness faux-fur bodysuit with big fur tails. I don't like multi coloured fluffy fur, it's not flattering on the figure; I didn't like it on Aquaria and I don't like it here. This is possibly my least favourite Ru look EVER.


CATEGORY IS... THREE. THREE. THREE LOOKS IN ONE
They did this challenge in the first ever episode of Drag Race Thailand, and in All Stars 2 we had "Two Looks In One"; so based off those runways I knew this would be controversial for many. I appreciate how hard this is, I appreciate how complex and difficult this is to do just one fabulous look, let alone three that reveal themselves within each other. But this is All Stars 5; the expectation is so high. And I don't think taking off a coat or a cape is a new look. It's just... the look we could already see, now minus the cape. I also think there was a fundamental lack of understand in what is an outfit. Think of Tyra Sanchez. She gave us two looks by simply removing the belt, changing the ruffles and pulling the skirt up. It's about changing silhouette, it's about changing who this woman is; and that's where most failed. No-one deserves a trophy. I'm sorry, but imagine All Stars 4. What Manila would have done with this. Or Naomi, or Valentina or Trinity. Any one of them would have easily slayed this. But at-least we were spared Alyssa's f*ckin' camera dress. "I'm holding the dress. And then I let the dress go." HAHAHA!

TOOT
Alexis Matteo. I appreciate the concept, the first and last look were giving me the Greatest Show on Earth (1952). And I personally got the ballerina, that is old-school circus (which people forget). I just felt all three were quite ugly to look at; even if I enjoyed the idea behind each one. And it's time for the tea: she's getting a pass on her looks because the judges don't want to be seen as body shaming. There I said it! Her make-up is being painted as if her face is still oval, and it's now round. And that's fine, but adapt your make-up accordingly. It's insulting to all other big queens who work so hard on their mug, that Alexis is not being critiqued. Eureka. Silky. Delta Work. Darienne Lake GORGEOUS mugs. Alexis is a hot mess. Her taste level is non-existent. But she still did the challenge, and as it's a bugbear when others don't, she gets a toot. Barely.
Blair St. Claire. Of all the 3-in-1 looks this was arguably the best delivery. It was a clear narrative of 50s to 60s to 70s; almost showing us Blair's own transitional journey in her drag from her original season to now. I just felt the first two looks were kind of cheap; she chose the wrong fabric. And that's a shame because I loved the three silhouettes, they just needed a hefty 'jus'. But that final look!!! The melted chocolate gold Studio 54 jumpsuit. It was the best look of the night. And her wig reveal was a delightful bonus.
Jujubee. Three different holidays (Halloween, Christmas and Easter); I got it. It was just so... hmmmmm... I don't think you need to spend a lot of money on your looks, I love Yvie for delivering such high end fashion with little coin. But Juju's outfits looked cheap. There was no elevation; and I expect that from an All Star. Think Shea's body suit last episode. Yes, it was just a body suit, but it was bejeweled and tailored and EXPENSIVE looking. Rhinestones can be for pretty girls. Concept - 10 / Execution - 8 / Looks - 5
Mariah Balenciaga. Her first look with the helmet and feathers was Blade Runner warrior prostitute realness, and I loved it. It looked EXPENSIVE. And her purple lips went so well with the exaggerated helmet. Second look was fine. I liked that dress a lot; and it was very different in visuals. And I think the REVEAL of the third dress was great, I just hated the dress (and I don't feel it gave enough variety to the second look. I wanted a sports car into a school bus, not a Mercedes into a BMW.
Miz Cracker. Of all the looks, I remember the egg most. It was so Cracker; expensive, refined and stupid. And the Anastasia story was great, and clearly executed. I LOVED the egg becoming her second dress. I loved the slutty gold negligee... I just feel she should have either changed the ruffles on her sleeves or removed them completely. So we get three clearly distinct looks.

BOOT [purely because these were not 3-in-1]
India Ferrah. This was barely a 2-in-1. I loved the initial look; it was chic and Parisian; I loved the silhouette, the plate fascinator, her padding... just all so beautiful. But removing your shawl is a not a new look. She took off bits and pieces and by the end it's the first look, just... with less fabric.
Mayhem Miller. The first look is fine, if not very inspiring.. Taking your jacket off is not a reveal. I'm wearing shorts right now. If I take them off it's not a new outfit, it's just my initial outfit minus my shorts. I did enjoy the final reveal; the wig into the swim-suit was very effective. But overall it was a failed runway.
Shea Couleé. The moment she came out I got so excited she was going to give us full on Jasmine Masters' butterfly out of the cocoon realness. And for the most part I liked it. The first look was killer. I didn't care for the second look; that pink dress seemed out of place in colour with the rest of the outfit, and the top half overpowered it. The third look was nice, but too similar to the original. I think the idea was fun, but eventually the idea overtook the challenge. And that's why it failed.


LIPSYNC ASSASSIN: Monet X Change. In Season 10 Monet was a FIERCE lipsyncer; her battle against Dusty with the fake death-drop was ICONIC; one of the top ten best lipsyncs of the show... in All Stars 4... decidedly less impressive. She lost to Valentina and Naomi, who left her in the dust. Really she only carted out the good stuff in her final lipsync against Trinity (which truthfully is the reason she got her crown). So while I don't consider her an "assassin", I was so excited because Jujubee is THE OG lipsync assassin. This had potential to be a battle of the ages. Well... I was wrong. Jujubee loses her unbeaten crown, in a performance that... did she not know the words at various moments??? I mean yes, I don't think it was a very good song to battle with, and Juju does best when it's an emotional song (not one void of drama) but regardless I cannot believe Juju delivered such a "meh" lipsync. BEYOND disappointed. The only good part was how AMAZING Juju looked in her catsuit.


SIDE NOTE: I rolled my eyes hard that Monet is still carting out how she's "Miss Congeniality" and butter wouldn't melt in her mouth AFTER she picked Manila's lipstick? Sure, Jan.

OVERALL
The best episode of the season so far (even if that's not much of an accolade). I found the challenge very enjoyable, and by-and-large, the cast did a very good job. There was no car-crash, which is what I expect from All Stars. But it still lacked the high level of most of Season 12's cast. That felt more like an All Stars than this season.
~ rating: 3 out of 5 [grade: B-]

[Kieran_Frost]

[AS PER MY RULE, MONDAY ONWARDS: SPOILERS ARE ALLOWED... I've updated the tally on the OP and un-spoilered my review]
During my reviews I do 'trophies'; and thought this season I'll keep a tally of them, to see how it stacks up against how the queens progress. Last season Gigi got 12 trophies, Crystal and Jackie 5, Jaida 4... so clearly I have excellent taste; since that was the Top 4; and Brita won 4 Glittered Raspberries, again... I have excellent taste. I do it more for my own amusement than others, but... enjoy. Or don't. It's entirely up to you.

Kieran's "Trophy Hall of Records"
Shea Couleé - 3
Miz Cracker - 2
Jujubee - 1
Yvie Oddly - 1
Blair St. Claire - 1

The Glittered Raspberry
Mayhem - ep1, ep2
Alexis Mateo - ep3

I started doing this in All Stars 4/S11, when I felt teams were being ignored, and I felt some of the choices for winners were... suspicious. So here's how I'd do the breakdown, based on TEAMS being the deciding factor. As it should be. Don't do teams if TEAMS doesn't matter.

Kieran's DRAG RACE Stats
Alexis Matteo. Safe. Safe team. LOSING TEAM (bttm2).
Blair St. Claire. Safe. WINNING TEAM LEADER. WINNING TEAM. W (ep3).
India Ferrah. Safe. Safe team. LOSING TEAM (bttm2)
Jujubee. READING. W (ep1). Safe team. LOSING TEAM (high)
Mayhem Miller. Bttm3. WINNING TEAM. WINNING TEAM.
Miz Cracker. Top3. WINNING TEAM. W (ep2). Safe team.
Shea Couleé. Safe. LOSING TEAM LEADER (high). Safe team.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mariah Balenciaga. Top3. LOSING TEAM (bttm2). Safe team.
Ongina. Bttm3. LOSING TEAM (bttm2).
Derrick Berry. Bttm3

And it changes a lot. Significantly Mariah wouldn't have gone home, as she wasn't in the losing team. It also means Blair and Cracker would be the front-runners.

[Kieran_Frost]

It's FAN ART FRIDAY! Enjoy all the treats from Instagram. I certain did. Couldn't find one of Jason as a tiger... *le sigh*

ARTS DE ART
https://www.instagram.com/artsdeart/


ENJOY MY CAKES
https://www.instagram.com/enjoy.mycake/


THE HAUS OF DRAG
https://www.instagram.com/thehausofdrag/

[Kieran_Frost]

I've changed my mind about last week's 3-in-1 runway. In retrospect Cracker should get the trophy. She had three distinct looks, a narrative traveling through all three, and it looked expensive. I remember the Egg more than anything else; and the reveals were very clever. Trophies aren't about a gag-to-the-gag-gag-gag; but who did the best, and did it well enough to deserve recognition. And that was this runway look. So apologies Cracker, I'm correcting my mistake.
RUNWAY TROPHY: Miz Cracker.

[CellarDweller]

Hello!

No spoilers needed, as I will be talking about episode three, from last Friday, and not episode four, which was yesterday.


This episode was not a fave of mine.

The drama between Alexis Mateo and Ms. Cracker made no sense to me at all, and the whole episode I was wondering why AM got her panties into such a twist.

As for the maxi-challenge, I thought the idea had a lot of potential, and the suites could be really funny, but for me, this whole thing fell flat. I didn't think that any of the suites were funny or all that well executed. The Golden Girls themed room was just a shot that missed completely. The GGs are iconic characters, and they performed as if they had never seen an episode of the show. Rosebud was not clueless enough, and didn't prattle on and on at all. The Blanche-based character was far from sexy enough, and the Dorothy-based character had none of the sarcasm.

The Glamazone room had some funny schtick, but again, I found none of it particularly funny. And what the heck was with India Ferrah and the golden shower moment? Totally not funny at all.

The 24 Karat room was a room that should've had a golden shower moment, but explain that the shower was water mixed with real liquid gold. Hearing Mayham and Blair doing their "expensive and rich" bit over and over again really annoyed me after maybe the third time they did it....but they kept going.

On to the runway.

Loved Blair St. Clair - she had three distinctive looks, and in different colors, so they were really three different outfits.

Mayhem Miller - I'm sorry.....taking off a jacket is not changing a look. And she did it all so quickly, we barely got a look at any of the looks, except where she went into the bathing suit one at the end.

Alexis Mateo - Like Blair, she had three different looks. I've always liked bright colors, so that lime green tulle outfit she had on was terrific to me! Her last hairstyle with the jewels in it was great as well.

India Ferrah - Ok, she had three different looks, but they were all the same material, so I was not that impressed with it. Her first look was great, but then I felt like I did with Mayhem. Taking off a coat is not a new outfit.

Jujubee - Three different looks, but probably the most simple outfits in the runway. I liked the theme of holidays, so that was fun to watch, but I wasn't blown over by any of the designs.

Mariah Paris Balenciaga - Once again, we have a queen who throws off a jacket and considers it an outfit change. I did like the change from the second outfit to the third, that silver bodice was great.

Ms. Cracker - Sometimes, these gimicky outfits can be a big fail. This one was not. When Cracker walked out in the egg outfit, I started laughing, but in a good way. It was so unexpected. Then when she dropped the egg and it turned into that gorgeous ballgown, I was gagging. The last look was not my fave (the ballgown was) but she worked three different looks, and worked them well.

Shae Couleé - This was (in my opinion) when gimicky fails. I said above that I like bright colors, that yellow was blinding and distracting. I got the transition from caterpillar to butterfly, but it did nothing for me. As for the transition to butterfly, her wings didn't look like butterfly wings.


I wasn't invested in any one team winning, as I wasn't impressed with any suite, and since no queens' performance stood out to me in any way, I wasn't sure who would be in the bottom. Much to my surprise, Jujubee is given the win, as I thought it would be Blair St. Clair. I didn't remember that Juju hadn't won a maxi-challenge, so I was really happy for her.

I was not surprised by India or Mariah in the bottom, however, Shae in the bottom was a surprise to me, I would've thought her 'safe'.


So Jujubee has to face off against Monet X Change. I wasn't sure what to expect, but when I heard the song (Lizzo's "Juice") I knew it was going to go to Monet. Jujubee is great at emoting, and that song really doesn't give her the opportunity to do that.

Monet is declared the winner, and I was sure either Mariah or India were going home. I didn't think for a minute that anyone would really vote for Shae to go, and was surprised to find out later that two queens did vote for Shae.

[Kieran_Frost]

The drama between Alexis Mateo and Ms. Cracker made no sense to me at all, and the whole episode I was wondering why AM got her panties into such a twist.

Go back and watch season 3, she always had her panties in a twist.

As for the maxi-challenge, I thought the idea had a lot of potential, and the suites could be really funny, but for me, this whole thing fell flat. I didn't think that any of the suites were funny or all that well executed. The Golden Girls themed room was just a shot that missed completely. The GGs are iconic characters, and they performed as if they had never seen an episode of the show. Rosebud was not clueless enough, and didn't prattle on and on at all. The Blanche-based character was far from sexy enough, and the Dorothy-based character had none of the sarcasm.

Agreed. I think the problem was they either got lost in that idea, and stopped thinking about the room OR they didn't go balls deep in the idea. They needed less or needed much more, if that makes sense?

The 24 Karat room was a room that should've had a golden shower moment, but explain that the shower was water mixed with real liquid gold. Hearing Mayham and Blair doing their "expensive and rich" bit over and over again really annoyed me after maybe the third time they did it....but they kept going.

AGREED!

Mayhem Miller - I'm sorry.....taking off a jacket is not changing a look. And she did it all so quickly, we barely got a look at any of the looks, except where she went into the bathing suit one at the end.

Considering Mayhem gave up that stunning Krampus outfit, I'm shocked every look of hers has either been basic or bad.

Ms. Cracker - Sometimes, these gimicky outfits can be a big fail. This one was not. When Cracker walked out in the egg outfit, I started laughing, but in a good way. It was so unexpected. Then when she dropped the egg and it turned into that gorgeous ballgown, I was gagging. The last look was not my fave (the ballgown was) but she worked three different looks, and worked them well.

Shae Couleé - This was (in my opinion) when gimicky fails. I said above that I like bright colors, that yellow was blinding and distracting. I got the transition from caterpillar to butterfly, but it did nothing for me. As for the transition to butterfly, her wings didn't look like butterfly wings.

I agree 100% with these thoughts.

I wasn't invested in any one team winning, as I wasn't impressed with any suite, and since no queens' performance stood out to me in any way, I wasn't sure who would be in the bottom. Much to my surprise, Jujubee is given the win, as I thought it would be Blair St. Clair. I didn't remember that Juju hadn't won a maxi-challenge, so I was really happy for her.

I would have given it to Blair as well, because I think teams should win. Part of me wanted Juju to get to the finale again, never winning a challenge. It would be iconic. As it stands right now, I think Juju is the one I want to win. Waiting for Snatch Game before I vote in the poll.

[Kieran_Frost]

RuVIEW
EPISODE IV

The queens walk back into the werk room after Mariah's elimination; and count out all the lipsticks. And the shade is... knee deep. BOTH Alexis and Mayhem voted for Shea (though the Two-Shea/touché was funny, thank-you Juju). I lost all respect for Mayhem in this moment. If you're going to pretend to the queens you just "couldn't vote for Mariah or India" WHY say in the confessional it was strategy to take out Shea???? That isn't editing, that is you either lying or just being stupid. Considering how pressed she got when Juju voted for her, despite Juju giving a valid, truthful reason, AND apologizing. Considering how she double-teamed Cracker about supposed 'shady tactics', which the group is finding unacceptable.... I found her actions here inexcusable. She's being a hypocrite.

"I do not trust Alexis as far as I can throw her. And ya'll know that ain't far. But I'm going to put my most professional panties on right now and we're going to get the job done." ~ Shea

It's a new day in the werk room and Ru enters in this rather sombre tan suit, with a nice polka-dot shirt. Love the candy-cane shoes. And Ru assigns teams... again... ugh, Jesus! Gross! It feels way too produced, and convenient, I say: add in the chaos. Add in the randomness of a queen stacking the deck, or others rising to the challenge, or Showgirls-ing the competition. AT-LEAST have the winner pick, or the loser pick, something. This division felt unfair. Putting the two people with the lowest stats in one team of 2, feels... produced. The moment I saw the pairing I thought "oh, they'll be in trouble" and I was right. Mayhem went home on the improv challenge in season 10, and India went home on the (semi) improvised weather girl in the QNN challenge in season 3.

Anyway... they separate into pairs and we get some drama. Miz Cracker calls out Blair plotting against her. I find little things Blair did interesting. Even before Cracker said WHO she was going to confront, Blair's body language changed. That's interesting. When Blair was saying she never once strategized to get Cracker out of the competition she was clear, forthright, amendment, solid eye contact. I believed her. THEN she started to say "...and I have not be talking about you behind your back" but didn't finish that sentence. She started tripping on her words, breaking eye-contact, less confident. That's interesting too. Ultimately Juju broke the tension by saying she was aroused, and got her team back on track. THANK GOD for Juju.

SHE-MZ
This is the improv challenge, first created in All Stars 3 with "the B*tchelor". And I'm so happy this has become a main-stay challenge in Drag Race, because it tests a different skill-set of the queens. And sadly, much like all of this season, I was left with drag blueballs. The improv challenge gave us Kennedy's Party Girl. Trixie's Fake B*tch. Ben's Cougar. Manila's Poodle Lady. Valentina's Snookie. Monique's Cake Lady. And nothing this episode is anything close to that league. I understand what they were doing with the cut-aways to the queens as doucheb*g frat boyzzzzz in the officer. But it didn't seem to come into the judging at all, so why do it so much? It was almost half the challenge. And the only things I took away: Cracker looked like her "Trade" persona, Mayhem can't do butch and Shea looked hot af in his bro attire and freckled face. Literal trade. #iWould



EATING WITH THE ENEMY
I didn't think this was very good. I didn't really understand the story, why were they eating together, how did Shea's character know Alexis' character was going to fake a pregnancy? It just wasn't thought out. On the plus side Shea looked great in her black&white suit with the Louis Vuitton shoes; and "more like drinking for two" was the best line. Alexis was loud. Alexis had no character. Alexis looked a mess. The end.

TEAM RYDER
India started strong in her roll, I got that character. And if she had been paired with someone better it could have been a clearer concept. But it was a bit of a mess. The shoplifting concept just... disappeared once we moved onto 'licking.' I wish we knew if the 'licking' thing was their idea, or in the script. It just felt off. And Mayhem was very poor in this, just like in Season 10, she had no character. Just repeating "I know you stole these things" doesn't give India anything to play off. It should have built more, started with implication rather than straight to accusation. It was clearly the worst of the three.

TEAM HUFFMAN
Blair was a non-entity. Her mug shot was funny though. That's all I wrote down. Juju was funny; the little things she did like twitching her lips when Cracker was seducing her, the delivery of "HOW DARE YOU!" was so fun. She played well, and went with everyone's ideas. It was what I expect from an All Star.
IMPROV TROPHY: Miz Cracker. This was the Cracker show. Looking out the window, slowly pushing the money into her bra; the deep, soft whispering. Moving her hand to her other cheek when she was clutching the wrong side after being slapped. Oh and then her slaps. "And again! Then different directions". It was very funny. I felt she should have won for Dr. Dill in Season 10, so this felt like RuDemption. AND I LOVED IT!

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ALEXIS... AGAIN...
*sigh* I was so bemused by Alexis' attitude with Shea before their scene together. They have this super fake, "I'm just joking" conversation about their characters mirroring their real lives; that made no sense. Alexis is calling Shea "little miss perfect, fake, a control freak"... and... HUH??? Why is Alexis acting like Shea is now her arch-nemesis??? Alexis voted for Shea. Shea handled it really well. She wasn't attacking Alexis. Those are the facts. So why is Alexis now acting like this means war, and Shea is Phi Phi to her Sharon? THE ONLY way this makes sense as a narrative is if Alexis was lying about why she picked Shea's lipstick. If she was being honest, then this conversation makes no sense. BUT IT SHE WAS LYING (which, let's be real, she was) she knows it's now a race to see who can eliminate the other first. The reality: Alexis is fake af.

It's validating, in many ways... I remember back in Season 3 when she said "I think Raja is fake, I think Manila is fake, I think Carmen is fake. BAM!" And even now you see fans of Drag Race go off on how 'mean' the Heathers were; thinking #TeamTalent were nice. Well the Heathers are still great friends, most recently worked together on Manila's incredible "Go Fish!" music video after All Stars 4. Meanwhile Shangela gets 1 vote on All stars 3, and Alexis is here on All Stars 5 becoming the villain of the series. This isn't editing. This is Alexis making choices that are... just... terrible. Nuff said.


... TO BE CONTINUED

[Kieran_Frost]

PART II
Ru comes down the runway in this black latex asymmetrical gown with pennant tapering sports flag logos covering the dress. It was all so surprising. Were those actual sports teams, because it looked more like an imitation with Ru-esq phrases. One said "Gorgeo-" another looked like "Ru-sy-que"? I tried to look it up, but the Nancy Drew of Drag, I am not.

CATEGORY IS... CAM-ON CAMO COUTURE
Hmmmmm... I remember it was Laila McQueen who said camo "is a disgusting component of human culture"; and I always felt that was very harsh. It was interesting listening to Alaska on the Pit Stop, as she said if she had this runway challenge she would have made a camo wedding dress. THAT would have been brilliant. Alaska gets the game; how to take a category and twist it to make you truly stand out. I'd have loved to see what Manila would have done. It also reminded me of the season 10 mini-challenge where they had to drag up the army duffle bags. COINCIDENTALLY that was the mini-challenge for the improv Boss Rossy maxi-challenge. HA!



TOOT
Jujubee. I loved the boldness of this. It's a very clever way to do camo, hiding it in the lining of her tan cape. Adding the 'hot red' purse and shoes to not be matchy-matchy was very clever. But I feel a fiercer wig would have worked better. I don't know, it didn't accent the cape, but I did think it looked EXPENSIVE! It was a very sophisticated look, and that has always been Juju's style. CLASSY! Camouflaging camouflage, HA!
India Ferrah. This cam-o-no was so original. I loved the silhouette, it was very different for India, and she looked so elevated from where we saw her style in season 3. She looked like a GI Joe priestess. That said, something felt off, and I don't know what, but I appreciate India really came to play. She used this opportunity to gain new fans, and I applaud her for it. Mayhem... take note if they ever ask you back. THIS is how you come to All Stars.
Miz Cracker. This was a power woman, it was very effective and the long wig really sold the look. HILARIOUSLY (considering later in the episode)... it actually reminded me of Morgan McMichael's "Gone with the Window" sowing challenge from season 2. Bold. Powerful. She looked like a Charlie Angel's Army Warrioress. The gold detailing in the stubs and chains was smart, it made it drag rather than a costume.
Shea Couleé. I like that she went with blue camo to be different. I liked the concept. I didn't fully understand the watering can elements to it. The issue with 60s looks (and Blair had this last week) is that linear chiff dress needs to be so ridged, going straight down from the boobs, otherwise it loses the illusion of shape. And this bloused oddly. That blue cellophane neck scarf and matching ruffles on the skirt cheapened it. I see where she was going, and it's still a toot; but there were so many ideas it got lost. But I think it needed tweaks.

BOOT
Alexis Matteo. She said "I don't know what the **** is camo" and it showed. THIS. WAS. SO. UGLY!!! Her eyes looked great, and actually I think this is the best her makeup has been, because she wasn't doing that harsh cheek line. Actually it made her face more oval, finally. Now I googled deer hunter camo. I googled deer hunter snow camo. Snow camo. Winter camo. And FINALLY found this print under "true timber white snowfall camo". The 39th image on google is a camo hoodie. Not even classic camo gear. Instead the most popular images suggest using this fabric more for a wedding dress, wedding cake, pillows, basket, bouquet... you see the pattern. I don't think this is camo. It's cheap. It's ugly. It's not camo. BOOT! [GLITTER RASPBERRY]
Mayhem Miller. It's... a... camo... bodysuit. REALLY? She couldn't be more basic. And Michelle was right the colour pallet was great. But... a bodysuit... for All Stars 5? Really queen?


RUNWAY TROPHY: Blair St. Claire. SHOOOOOOOT! This is gorgeous. It's Kameron Michael's butterfly queen of the future fused with the Vivienne's ape tree, and I loved it. VERY initially I was thinking "this is not camo!!!" but actually it is, and so cleverly done. She's taken the camo and softened it by adding a thin thin black mesh over the fabric. It's creative, original, beautiful... and the silhouette is very unique. This is one of the best looks of the season.

THIS WEEKS LIPSYNC ASSASSIN IS... Morgan McMichaels. REALLY? A lipsync assassin? She won 1 of 2 lipsyncs in season 2, and the performance that sent her home in All Stars 3 was a lipsync to her own song. So I was confused why on earth she is here. And here's the T. All these "assassins" are merely the cast of the Werk the World Tour. It's just a selling point, rather than a true test of the queens abilities to take out an assassin. I'd rather than just were honest. These are still fierce queens, but Morgan is not an assassin. By any stretch of the imagination. On the plus side she looked great, that cape!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE! And Cracker. CRACKER! Ahhhhhhh she looked so fierce in her ice crystal bodysuit. Possibly my favourite look for her this whole season? SHOOT!!! It was a good lipsync, neither way slayed it; though Cracker off stage ducking her head in for "li-iffffe" was HILARIOUS! Never seen that before either, which I appreciate. I think it was a fair tie.


OVERALL
A decent episode of Drag Race, but an underwhelming episode for All Stars. We are four episodes in and Yvie Oddly, WHO ISN'T EVEN IN THE CAST, remains the most iconic thing about this season. Alyssa Edwards once said "this is a place for legends"... well, this season didn't get that memo. This is a place for coasting.
~ rating: 2 out of 5 [grade: C-]

[Kieran_Frost]

NEXT TIME... is SNATCH GAME (OF LOVE)
The super sexy Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman (regular judge for Drag Race Canada) will be one of the guests, and Tommy Dorfman... who I don't know. Based on this season, my predictions for this episode is as follows...


HA! My dream would be if Shea does Grace Jones and Cracker does Anne Frank. But I don't think I'll get my wish. Any predictions/suggests for who the queens should play. I just hope most of the cast isn't reality TV stars or former queens. UGH! It's so dull when they do that. No-one has done: Dolly, Judy, Greta, Bette Midler, Bette Davis. Come on team, PLEASE finally deliver.

[Kieran_Frost]

[AS PER MY RULE, MONDAY ONWARDS: SPOILERS ARE ALLOWED... I've updated the tally on the OP and un-spoilered my review]
During my reviews I do 'trophies'; and thought this season I'll keep a tally of them, to see how it stacks up against how the queens progress. Last season Gigi got 12 trophies, Crystal and Jackie 5, Jaida 4... so clearly I have excellent taste; since that was the Top 4; and Brita won 4 Glittered Raspberries, again... I have excellent taste. I do it more for my own amusement than others, but... enjoy. Or don't. It's entirely up to you.

Kieran's "Trophy Hall of Records"
Shea Couleé - 3
Miz Cracker - 3
Blair St. Claire - 2
Jujubee - 1
Yvie Oddly - 1

The Glittered Raspberry
Mayhem - ep1, ep2
Alexis Mateo - ep3, ep4
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I started doing this in All Stars 4/S11, when I felt teams were being ignored, and I felt some of the choices for winners were... suspicious. So here's how I'd do the breakdown, based on TEAMS being the deciding factor. As it should be. Don't do teams if TEAMS doesn't matter.

Kieran's DRAG RACE Stats
Alexis Matteo. Safe. Safe team. LOSING TEAM (bttm2). Safe team.
Blair St. Claire. Safe. WINNING TEAM LEADER. WINNING TEAM. W (ep3). WINNING TEAM (low).
India Ferrah. Safe. Safe team. LOSING TEAM (bttm2). LOSING TEAM (bttm2).
Jujubee. READING. W (ep1). Safe team. LOSING TEAM (high). WINNING TEAM (high).
Miz Cracker. Top3. WINNING TEAM. W (ep2). Safe team. WINNING TEAM. W (ep4).
Shea Couleé. Safe. LOSING TEAM LEADER (high). Safe team. Safe team.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mayhem Miller. Bttm3. WINNING TEAM. WINNING TEAM. LOSING TEAM (bttm2).
Mariah Balenciaga. Top3. LOSING TEAM (bttm2). Safe team.
Ongina. Bttm3. LOSING TEAM (bttm2).
Derrick Berry. Bttm3

And it changes a lot. Significantly Mariah wouldn't have gone home, as she wasn't in the losing team. It also means Cracker, Blair and Juju would be the front-runners; and Shea... would not be performing the way you expect the winner of the season to do (let's be honest, we all know she's winning this season).

[Kieran_Frost]

It's FAN ART FRIDAY! (sort of). I'm going away for the weekend, so sending this out the night before. Enjoy all the treats from Instagram. I certainly did.

LAUREL
https://www.instagram.com/laurelipsum/



MAUREEN NARRO
https://www.instagram.com/monimau2000/



THE RIK DRAWS THINGS
https://www.instagram.com/rikdrawsthings/

[CellarDweller]

Hello!

No spoilers needed, as I will be talking about episode four, from last Friday, and not episode five, which is tomorrow.

I said last week that I was not impressed with the episode, and now I'm starting to think that I must be missing something, because I didn't like this one either.

LOL

Much like last week, the SheMZ premise had promise, but didn't seem to go anywhere for me.

When it came to the workroom, I was laughing at Juju going back and forth like a spectator at a tennis match while listening to the conversation between Blair St. Clair and Ms. Cracker. I loved the fact that she wanted to get back to work, but was loving the drama too.

The skits. Meh.

Alexis and Shea as "real housewives" was ok, and the wig snatch was funny, but when they started pulling out fake stomachs, it wasn't funny.

Juju, Cracker and Blair as the college admission scandal was also OK, but I didn't really see a stand-out for any of them.

India and Meyham, that one had highs and lows. When India dropped the vase from her 'lady-parts', I laughed out loud, but that whole licking thing? What the hell was that about?

and then there were all the parts of them being in boy drag when they were in the SheMZ room. nothing really happened with that, other than acting stereotypically 'frat boy'.

On to the runway. "Camo Couture”. Jujubee was one of my faves. I thought the cape was great, and it looked like a true outfit that I could see being worn by someone on the street. India Ferrah, this one was ok, but it didn't stand out to me. Maybe it's because I didn't like the black outfit beneath the "cam-o-no". Miz Cracker - I loved her outfit, and it gave me a "Thunderdome" feeling. I could see her standing next to Tina Turner in that movie, in that outfit. Shea Couleé - I thought this was one of the lesser outfits. She lost her shape in it, and in my opinion, it did nothing for her. Alexis Matteo - Mixed feelings about her outfit. I really liked it, but it didn't say 'camo' to me at all. I get that it was winter camo, but still, I didn't get a camo vibe from it. Mayhem Miller - Way too basic. When you had people bringing the looks that came before it, coming out in a one piece with thigh-high boots really isn't enough. I knew she would be in the bottom. Blair St. Clair - This was such a unique look. At first glance I loved it, but felt it wasn't camo, but then I started to see how it could be camo, and it all came together.

Ms. Cracker being given the top spot.....I wasn't sure on how I felt about that, as I was expecting it to go to Jujubee, given how they praised her for her work in the skit and her runway look.

I did not disagree with both India and Meyham being in the bottom two. I was also not surprised to see India throw Meyham under the bus in an effort to save herself.

Lip Sync assassin is revealed..........Morgan McMichaels? It was good to see her, but aside for the one lip sync where RuPaul said she had one of the tightest lip syncs they had seen, I don't recall her being an assassin. I will say I LOVED Cracker's look for the lip sync.

Cracker wins, and Mayhem is sent home. Not surprised by that.

India needs to step up her game. She's been in the bottom the last three challenges.

tomorrow's episode - Snatch Game of Love. I'm preparing for disappointment. LOL I really like Snatch Game, and when the did the 'love' version, I wasn't impressed, so I'm hoping I'm surprised, and I hope JuJu continues her streak and does well on Friday.