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  1. #1
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    Default All Our Universes

    Question The Vixen and The Wonder Woman

    Diana Prince was making a TikTok dance video inside her house on a sunny, humid Saturday morning when she suddenly heard a little girl scream from outside.

    Diana: “This sounds like a job for Wonder Woman!”

    She took off her glasses, whirled around rapidly, turned into Wonder Woman and immediately crashed through a wall because she was dizzy.

    5 minutes later, after she woke up, Wonder Woman ran outside to try and find out why the little girl had screamed. Upon arriving on the scene, she saw
    Vixen, a.k.a. Marilyn McCabe.

    Wonder Woman: “Vixen!”

    Vixen: “Hey, Wonder Woman.”

    Wonder Woman: “Hey. I’m surprised you’re in these neck of the woods”

    Vixen: “I heard a cat meowing.”

    Wonder Woman: “And I heard a girl screaming. Perhaps the girl was screaming because the cat was meowing…which would be a weird reason to scream. Since you’re here, we should team up and work together.”

    Vixen: (pointing upward) “Look!”

    Wonder Woman followed Vixen’s finger and saw a little girl crouched up in a tree. Down below, there was a cat staring up at the girl.

    Vixen: “I’m guessing the girl was screaming because she’s the one stuck in the tree!”

    Wonder Woman: “And perhaps the cat was meowing because it feared for the girl’s safety!”

    The Question: “That’s what the little girl wants you to think.”

    Vixen and Wonder Woman turned around to see The Question staring at them through his faceless mask.

    Vixen: “What do you mean?”

    The Question: That’s not a little girl. That’s a shapeshifter.”

    Wonder Woman: “Get out!”

    The Question: “No, I’m serious.”

    Wonder Woman: “So am I! Get out of here! This is a team-up between Vixen and myself. Three’s a crowd!”

    The Question: “I can’t leave until I dig through the shapeshifter’s garbage. I smell a conspiracy!”

    Vixen: “I smell hot dogs two blocks away.”

    Wonder Woman: “With relish?”

    Vixen: “No, I do not enjoy smelling overheated beagles two blocks away.”

    Wonder Woman was about to say something else but thought better of it. Then both she and Vixen ran over to watch The Question poking through garbage.

    Wonder Woman: “Victor, how do you know the little girl in the tree is a shapeshifter?”

    The Question: “Because I saw her change from an elderly man into a little girl before she climbed that tree.”

    Vixen: “Right, right, but where does the cat fit into all of this? Know what? Hold on a minute.”

    Vixen ran over to the cat and began meowing. The cat looked up at her, listened intently and then began meowing in reply.

    Wonder Woman: “No way.”

    The Question: “Way. Not too many people are aware that not only can Vixen mimic the abilities of animals, but she can communicate with them as well. She’s an Animal Whisperer.”

    Wonder Woman: “I know what her powers are, thank you very much. It’s just weird to see her actually do it. I’m still trying to figure out what your powers are. Let me guess: the power to dig through trash?”

    The Question: “Whatever. You’d be amazed how much information I can find out about someone by what they toss out.”

    Vixen returned, and The Question and Wonder Woman looked at her.

    Wonder Woman: “So what did the cat say?”

    Vixen: “He said, and I quote, “Meow, meow, meow, meow…meow meow. Meow?”

    The Question: “True, true…”

    Wonder Woman: “Translation?”

    Vixen: “The cat basically confirmed what The Question told us about the shapeshifter. And then he asked me to pet him.”

    Wonder Woman: “The Question asked you to pet him?”

    Vixen: “No, the cat asked me to pet him.”

    Wonder Woman: “The cat asked you to pet The Question?”

    Vixen nearly ripped her own hair out. “No, the cat wanted to be petted by me.”

    Wonder Woman: “So did you?”

    Vixen: “What difference does that make?”

    The Question: “Right? Talk about nosey.”

    Wonder Woman: “Ok, listen you…”

    The shapeshifter suddenly jumped out of the tree and landed in front of the trio.

    Shapeshifter: “Hey.”

    Vixen: “Hey.”

    Wonder Woman: “What up, yo.”

    The Question tipped his hat and said “Good evening.”

    Shapeshifter: “It’s morning.”

    The Question: “It’s evening somewhere in the world.”

    Shapeshifter: “I mean, I guess…”

    Wonder Woman: “Let me ask you a question, shapeshifter-“

    The Question: “Whoa whoa whoa, hold up, Wondy, I ask the questions around here, for I am…The Question!” He twirled his trench coat around him and dramatically posed while staring off into the distance. Vixen, Wonder Woman, the shapeshifter and the cat stared off in the same direction to see what The Question was staring at, but they didn’t see anything.

    The Question: “So like I was saying, I ask the questions around here. Let me ask you a question, shapeshifter. Why did you scream?”

    Shapeshifter: “I don’t want to tell you.”

    Vixen: “Please?”

    Shapeshifter: “No.”

    The Question: “Pretty please, with cherries on top?”

    Shapeshifter: “No.”

    Wonder Woman: “I ‘ve got this.” She threw her Lasso of Truth around the shapeshifter and waited.

    Shapeshifter: (standing tall and alert) “I screamed to prevent the Joker from putting a smile on my face.”

    Vixen: “Joker!”

    The Question: “Oh no, yall know what this means, right?”

    Wonder Woman: “Yes, it means that the Batman will have to be called in because of the Joker being involved in this, and I don’t know about you all, but if I see Batman pop up in just ONE more story…”

    Vixen: “Girl, I hear you. I propose we forget this incident ever happened.”

    Wonder Woman: “Agreed.”

    The Question: “Ditto.”

    Vixen: “Well, I gotta run. What’s the American slang? “It’s been real… deuces!” She mimicked the flight of a dragonfly and flew away.

    The Question looked at Wonder Woman: “Wanna share an Uber?”

    Wonder Woman: “Nah, I’m good.”

    The Question shrugged, got into the Uber and immediately began wondering if Uber had been established as a front to hide the resurgence of the Muppets after Scarlet Witch had declared “No More Muppets.”

    After The Question departed, Wonder Woman turned around to say something to the shapeshifter, but the shapeshifter was gone. Wonder Woman shrugged, whirled around a few times to turn back into Diana Prince, and then literally skipped back into her house.

    The shapeshifter, who had been hiding behind a tree, watched Diana walk back into her house. With a smirk, the shapeshifter transformed back into Mystique, and she ran to tell the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants that Diana Prince was Wonder Woman.

    After Mystique left, the cat transformed back into Morph and ran to tell the X-Men that Mystique may be up to no good.

    The moment everyone had left the scene, a woman who called herself The Centipede emerged from a parked car and tracked Vixen’s flight with a pair of binoculars. The Centipede vowed to get revenge on Peter Parker er, I mean Marilyn McCabe, even if it was the last thing she ever did…
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  2. #2
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    Default

    “The Centipede Cometh, Somebody’s Teeth Goeth?”

    Marilyn Jiwe McCabe, or “Mari” for short, was strutting down the runway during the Victoria’s Secret fashion show when she decided to break out into a dance to give her performance some pizazz. She swung her hips to the right, swung them to the left and then kicked her right leg out. Well, her high-heeled shoe accidentally flew off and hit a female audience member in the mouth.

    Female Audience Member: “Owww! Mari McCabe, you just hit me in the mouth with your shoe!”

    Mari: “Whoops, so sorry!”

    Female Audience Member: “Get down here so that I can beat you!”

    Mari: “I’ll have to decline the invitation, but I will pay your dental bill if you need any dental work done.”

    Female Audience Member: “Nah, I’d rather beat your butt! Get down here!”

    Mari shrugged and continued strutting down the runway, because she was holding up the line of other supermodels who had to strut down the runway. On her way back into the dressing room, she looked once more in the direction of the female audience member, but the audience member was gone.

    After the show was over, and after she had said goodbye to her fellow supermodels, Mari walked out into the parking lot toward her car, which was a black and red McLaren 720S Spider. It wasn’t exactly state-of-the-art like the Batmobile, but it always got her wherever she needed to go…when she wanted to drive, that is. She took her car keys out of her purse and was just about to open a car door when she got hit in the back of the head with her own high-heeled shoe.

    Female Audience Member: “Now let’s see how YOU like it, McCabe!”

    The Vixen whirled around to face her assailant and was immediately greeted with a fist to the face, then two fists, then three fists, then four fists. As Vixen was getting pummeled, she realized that the assailant really had hands… many hands… too many hands. How was this possible?

    And then then kicking started. First one leg shot out and kicked Vixen in the stomach, then another leg kicked her in the head. A third leg popped out from seemingly nowhere and kicked her again in the head. Vixen fought back by using her fists to unleash the punching power of a Mantis Shrimp, and the supermodel unleashed all of that power on the assailant’s face. The assailant finally jumped away to catch a bit of a break, and the two combatants stared at each other. But even as the assailant stared at Vixen, she kept growing arms and legs out of her body, and it was one of the strangest things that Vixen had ever seen.

    Vixen: “Exactly who are you, and why are you attacking me with my own shoe? What happened back at the Victoria’s Secret show was an accident, and I already apologized for it and offered to pay for-“

    The other woman laughed. “I don’t want your money, Vixen, nor do I want your apologies. All I want is your death, at my hands.”

    Vixen: “Let me get this straight; you want to kill me because I accidentally hit you with my shoe?”

    The other woman sneered. “Naw, I’ve been wanting to kill you long before tonight! I’ve been following you for a long time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike!”

    Vixen: “Because…?”

    The other woman said nothing, but all the while kept growing more arms and legs.

    Vixen: “Look, either you tell me what all of this is about, or I’ll just haul you in to the police and tell them you attacked me.”

    The other woman shot Vixen an evil grin. “It would just be your word against mine. I could easily tell them that you were chasing some criminal down the street and were so overwhelmed by your animal abilities that you became feral and attacked me for no reason. Let’s keep the police out of this, because they’ll only get in my way. Round 2: FIGHT!”

    The other woman, who was now sporting 100 limbs, lunged at Vixen, but Vixen channeled a hummingbird, flew into the air and hovered there far above her opponent’s head.

    Vixen: “You’re a human centipede!”

    The other woman sighed and shook her head. “No, I’m not.”

    Vixen: “Yeah, you are. Vibe shouldn’t be the only one who can give people code names. I’m going to call you The Centipede.”

    The other woman: “Don’t call me that. I don’t like centipedes. They’re ugly and disgusting. And I don’t know who this Vibe person is. Stop mentioning people I don’t know.”

    Vixen: “How did you get to be like that? Was it some sort of lab accident? Are you a scientist? Did some chemicals blow up in your face, and you fell backward onto a centipede and somehow your body and the centipede’s body became fused?”

    The Centipede: “Stop talking.”

    Vixen: “The centipede wasn’t radioactive, was it? Did it bite you? A friend of mine was bitten by a radioactive spider, maybe the two of you can get together and compare notes some-“

    The Centipede: “Shut up! I’ma come up there, rip out one of your eyeballs and shove it down your throat! I’m gonna grab you by your waist and rip you to shreds!”

    Vixen: “Since centipedes can’t fly, you can’t touch me as long as I’m in the air.”

    The Centipede: “If you don’t come down from there, I’ma hurt your boyfriend.”

    Vixen: “I’m much too busy to date.”

    The Centipede: “Translation: You can’t get, let alone keep, a man. Fine. Then I’ll hurt your loved ones.”

    Vixen: “My parents passed on when I was just a child. Try again.”

    The Centipede: “Then I’ll hurt some of your friends.”

    Vixen: “My friends are the Justice League. Good luck with that.”

    The Centipede: “Then I’ll start kicking puppies and headbutting kittens. Heck, I might even smack a duck. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I’ma smack it.”

    Vixen: “You wouldn’t dare.”

    The Centipede: “Try me.”

    Howard the Duck walked past them on his way to meet up with Rocket Raccoon and Groot, and The Centipede slowly tilted her head in his direction.

    Vixen: “Don’t you do it!”

    The Centipede raised two of her arms and was about to-

    Vixen: “Alright, alright, I’ll come down.”

    The Centipede retracted her arms and watched Vixen lower herself to the ground.

    The Centipede: “Wise choice. And now my killing of you can commence.”

    Vixen: “You still haven’t told me why you want me dead.”

    The Centipede: “And I won’t tell you. As your life slips away, you will rack your brain trying to figure out the motive for your murder, but you’ll die baffled. I’m going to enjoy beating the life out of you. When the light fades from your eyes, I will re-“

    Vixen suddenly began dancing like a weasel, running back and forth and performing several somersaults, leaps and bounds. The Centipede looked confused, since her opponent was moving way too fast and was acting way to bizarre. The more she watched Vixen’s movements, the more hypnotized she became, and she could not bring herself to look away. Little by little, as Vixen danced the weasel war dance, the closer she moved toward her prey, until she was right up in The Centipede’s face. Once Vixen stopped dancing, and after The Centipede was finally able to blink, Vixen channeled a spitting cobra and spat venom into one of her eyes. The Centipede cried out in pain and dropped to her knees.

    The Centipede: “My eyes! My eyes! They burn!”

    The Vixen: “Oh, that? You got off easy. You’re lucky I didn’t rip your face off. If your EVER come at me like that again, I’ll end your entire career.”

    Feeling pleased with herself and thankful that she had only suffered a few minor bumps and bruises, Vixen walked toward her car but the stopped in her tracks when she heard another female voice from behind her.

    Voice: “What did you do to my baby sister, you freak of nature?”

    Vixen turned toward the voice, and her mouth fell open when she saw another woman growing in height in front of her; this other woman was also sprouting a countless number of arms and legs, and soon she towered over Vixen.

    Vixen: (gulping) “Hey, uh, so I guess that condition runs in the family, huh?”

    Voice: “You could say that.”

    Vixen: “I’m just going to go ahead and call you Millipede.”

    The Millipede: “Call me whatever you want, I’m still going to be the one who stomps a hole in your throat. Ready to catch all these hands?”

    Vixen: “Sheeeit, nope, I’m good!”

    Vixen sprinted away with the speed of a mouse, hopped into her car and drove away.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  3. #3
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    “Mauled At The Mall!”

    Marilyn “Mari” Jiwe McCabe walked into Manhattan Mall with a pep in her step and a fierce determination to find a decent pair of jeans that would fit her. She hadn’t even been in JCPenney 5 minutes before a male mannequin behind her suddenly turned around and checked her out from head to toe.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Ten minutes later, Mari was in the dressing room, trying on several pairs of jeans when she suddenly heard people screaming. Curious, she ran out of the dressing room and peered around the corner, only to see a group of mannequins chasing shoppers around JCPenney and robbing them.

    Mari: “This looks like a job for, well, me!”

    After she changed into her superhero outfit and ran toward the fray, a male shopper pointed at her and yelled “Hey everybody, look! It’s Storm of the X-Men!”

    Vixen: “Sir, I am not Storm.”

    Man: “Oh, my bad! Monica Rambeau!”

    Vixen: “Nope.”

    Man: “Misty Knight?”

    Vixen: “I’m Vixen.”

    Man: (frowning) “Who?”

    Vixen sighed and ran toward some mannequins. She tapped a mannequin on the shoulder and when he turned around, Vixen punched his head off. The wallet he had just stolen from a shopper dropped to the floor, and Vixen was about to retrieve it when a female mannequin picked her up and hurled her across the room. Vixen instinctively twisted herself in the air like an Olympic gymnast and channeled a fly so that she could land on a nearby wall and stick to it. The female mannequin who had hurled her across the room was now running at her at full speed with a fist ready to strike. Vixen dodged the punch and when the female mannequin got her fist stuck in the wall, Vixen ripped the mannequin’s legs off and then used one of the legs to knock the mannequin’s head off her body.

    A male mannequin bumped into her, so Vixen turned around and smacked him as hard as she could. When he yelped in pain and his head didn’t fly off, she immediately felt a twinge of guilt when she realized he was a real man.

    Man: “Ouch, my face!”

    Vixen: “Sir, I am so so sorry, I didn’t think you were real. Is there anything I can do for you?”

    The man rubbed his stinging face, then he suddenly got an idea. “Well, to make up for assaulting me, you could let me take you out on a date, sexy lady?”

    Vixen: “Oh, I don’t think so-“

    Man: “Ow, my face! I can’t feel my face! It hurts so bad!”

    The guilty feeling returned, so Vixen sighed.

    Vixen: “Okay, sir, we can go out on a date.”

    Man: “Great! My name’s Solomon Samuels, by the way. Can I put your number in my phone?”

    Vixen gave him her name and number, then was about to run up to another group of mannequins and tear them to pieces as well, but all of a sudden, all of the mannequins in JCPenney stopped attacking shoppers and lined up in front of the store. Then, they began marching out into the rest of the mall, and Vixen followed them.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    When the mannequins finally reached the basement of the mall, Vixen leapt up to the ceiling and clung there like a brown recluse spider to see what would happen next. A few seconds later, a woman dressed in a dark robe and a hood emerged from the shadows.

    Woman: (holding out a basket in front of her) “What do you all have for me?”

    One by one, each mannequin approached the basket and deposited into it anything that they had stolen from the shoppers. The woman began smiling as she saw all of the jewelry, money and other valuables being dropped into the basket. After she had collected everything, she stared at her followers before she spoke again.

    Woman: “Thank you for all of this. Now return to your positions, rest for a bit, and then wait for my command for us to begin anew.”

    Vixen: “No.”

    Woman: “Who said that?“

    Vixen stared at the woman with a feline intensity, and after she wiggled her body like a domestic cat, she launched herself off the ceiling and pounced on her prey. Vixen wrestled the woman to the floor and ripped the hood off the woman’s head, only to discover that the woman was actually a female mannequin. Vixen didn’t understand how this was possible, since she had originally assumed that a human female had somehow been controlling the mannequins. But how could a mannequin be controlling other mannequins? How could any of the mannequins be “alive”?

    Vixen: “Who are you?”

    Female Mannequin: “I call myself Madam Mannequin. And at last I have finally met you, the one they call Karen Beecher, a.k.a. Bumblebee.”

    Vixen: “That’s not who I am.”

    Madam Mannequin: “Oh, then you’re Rocket, sidekick of Icon!”

    Vixen: “That’s not me, either.”

    Madam Mannequin: “Amanda Waller?”

    Vixen: “Ouch, that hurts. Look, they call me Vixen.”

    Madam Mannequin: “Who?”

    Vixen: “Why does no one know who I am?”

    Madam Mannequin: “You must not be very memorable. Now if you’ll kindly get off of me, I’ll be on my way.”

    Vixen: “You’ll be on your way to jail, because I’m taking you in to the cops.”

    Madam Mannequin: “Imagine the look on the cops’ faces when you drag a mannequin into their police station and tell them I robbed some shoppers. You think people don’t know who you are now, but by the time they get done with you, you’ll be the laughing stock of the entire state, maybe even several states.”

    Vixen: “Good point, but I can’t just let you remain free to rob more people.”

    Vixen ripped off Madam Mannequin’s head, but that helped nothing.

    Madam Mannequin’s head: “So now what?”

    Vixen: “Uh…”

    Madam Mannequin: “I’m like Ultron, I cannot be destroyed. You rip my head off or rip my body apart, I’ll just transfer my consciousness to other mannequins. If you destroy every mannequin in this mall, I can easily transfer my consciousness to other mannequins in other malls all over this planet. Mannequins are everywhere, all the time. How will you defeat me, Vixen? You can’t shut down malls, because you don’t have the power to do so. You can’t order people to stay away from malls because, again, you don’t have the power to do so. Whenever humans visit us at malls, they will be victims, and we the mannequins will be victorious. Again, I ask you, how will you defeat me?”

    Vixen: “I don’t want to admit it, but you’re right. I can’t defeat you.”

    Madame Mannequin: “Please put my head down now. Thank you in advance.”

    Vixen: (thinking to herself) <I might not be able to stop you, but I know who can.>
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A few hours later, Madam Mannequin awoke, stretched, and then got her basket ready, because it was time to rob some more shoppers! But before she could mentally command her mannequin troops to come back to life in the rest of the mall, Vixen stepped out from around the corner.

    Madame Mannequin: “Moon Girl, was it?”

    Vixen: “Okay, now I’m pissed! Zee, you’re up!”

    Zatanna teleported into the basement and said “Sniuqennam lla revo eht dlrow, raeppasid litnu I dnammoc uoy lla ot raeppaer!”

    Madame Mannequin’s smirk vanished, and so did she.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  4. #4
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    “Here’s A Mint, Cuz You’ve Got Dragon Breath”

    Marilyn McCabe was asleep in her spacious Manhattan apartment when her cellphone rang. She wearily opened her eyes and looked to see who was calling, but the caller was unknown. Curious, she picked up the phone and said “Hello?”

    Amanda Waller: “Good, you’re home.”

    Mari: “Amanda Waller?”

    Amanda: “Get up and get dressed. I need your help.”

    Mari: “I’m tired.”

    Amanda: “Get untired. Now, either I’ll come to your apartment or you come here to me.”

    Mari sighed. “What is this all about, anyway?”

    Amanda: “I’d rather not discuss it over the phone. Just get over here, fast.”
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    An hour later, Mari was sitting in Amanda’s office, staring at a bunch of photos.

    Mari: “Okay, who’s this dude I’m looking at?”

    Amanda: “His name is Rimbo, but most know him by his Indonesian street name: Komodo Dragon. He was here in New York and had been arrested for robbing a bank, but when he was granted bail he skipped out of the country and ran back to Indonesia. I need you to go to Indonesia and bring him back here. He’s heavy into the party and night life scene, and since his family owns a night club in Indonesia, there’s a good bet that you’ll find him hanging out there.”

    Mari: “Why can’t the Suicide Squad go and get him?”

    Amanda: “I sent the Squad elsewhere.”

    Mari: “What about Ben Turner?”

    Amanda: “He’s in Africa, “finding himself”, as he put it. You’re all I’ve got.”

    Mari: “I don’t know. I kinda want to go back to my apartment and find myself asleep. Plus, I’ve got a date later on tonight that I don’t want to break, because I want to hurry up and get it over with.”

    Amanda: “Look, girl, do I look like I care about your love life?”

    Mari: “I’m a woman, not a girl.”

    Amanda: “Look, WOMAN, do I look like I care about your love life?”

    Mari: “What I’m saying is, I don’t work for you anymore. And don’t expect me to just alter my plans to help you apprehend someone. There are plenty of other people that can go after this guy other than me.”

    Amanda: “Do this for me, or I’ll sit on you.”

    Mari: “Wait, what?”

    Amanda: “I mean it. I’ll do it.”

    Mari: “You’re not actually going to physically sit on me, though, right?”

    Amanda stood up and started walking over toward Mari, and once Mari saw that wide load barreling toward her lap, Mari jumped to her feet and literally ran to the airport with the speed of a cheetah.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    After having endured the 20-hour flight to Indonesia and after having a decent amount of sleep in her hotel room, Mari donned a grey bodysuit that showed off her shoulders and took a taxi to the Dragonfly night club to wait for her prey. Several times throughout the night, guys would approach her and ask her to dance, but she politely refused and told them that she was waiting for someone. A few more hours went by, and Mari was starting to get restless because her prey had not yet shown himself. She used the hearing of a greater wax moth to listen in to various conversations to find out if the names “Komodo Dragon” or “Rimbo” were mentioned, but she had no luck. When the night club closed with no sign of Komodo Dragon anywhere, Mari went to the nearest restaurant for a bite to eat and then returned to her hotel room.

    The next night, after she had returned to the Dragonfly nightclub, things started to look up: about an hour after she arrived, Komodo Dragon strode into the club with a trio of women behind him. Mari smoothed out her outfit and walked up to him to introduce herself.

    Mari: “Hi, I’m Mari. I’ve never seen you around here before, but I definitely like what I see.”

    Rimbo smiled at her and immediately motioned for the trio of women to get lost.

    “I’m Rimbo. Nice to meet you, Mari.”

    Mari: “Can I buy you a drink?”

    Rimbo: “Actually, I’m one of the owners of this night club. Let me buy you a drink.”

    Mari: “Sure, thanks. I’ll have a Bajigur.”

    Rimbo ordered two Bajigurs, and then he and Mari sat down to talk. Two hours later, Mari touched his arm.

    Mari: “Do you want to go somewhere else to continue talking? You know, somewhere a lot more…private?”

    Rimbo: “My place?”

    Mari grinned. “You read my mind, Rimbo.”

    Rimbo said good night to the night club staff, escorted Mari outside and was surprised and thrilled when she grabbed his hand and tightly held it. They continued talking about various things but the conversation took a sinister turn when Mari suddenly pulled Rimbo into a nearby alley and slammed him against a wall.

    Mari: “It’s time to cut the crap, Rimbo. I’m here to take you back to New York.”

    Rimbo: “I’m sorry?”

    Mari: “You jumped bail in New York That’s a no-no.”

    Rimbo: “Is this some sort of joke?”

    Mari: “It’s no joke. Amanda Waller sent me here to get you.”

    Rimbo: “Oh, I see. That’s too bad.” He pulled out a karambit and angrily swung the blade at Mari’s face but she dodged the weapon and kneed him in the crotch. When he fell forward on his knees, Mari judo chopped him in the back of the neck.

    Mari: “Yes, Rimbo, I agree. That is too bad… for you.”

    She picked him up with the strength of a bear and used the flight of a bat to fly him back to her hotel.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    When Rimbo awoke, he discovered both of his hands were handcuffed to part of the desk in Mari’s hotel room.

    Rimbo: “Normally I’d think you were being kinky, but I know better. I can’t believe you played me.”

    Mari shrugged as she made travel arrangements back to New York.

    Mari: “Maybe if you hadn’t gone around robbing banks, you wouldn’t have gotten played. You were stealing other people’s hard-earned money, you know.”

    Rimbo laughed. “I don’t need a lecture from you, lady.”

    Mari: “That’s fair. Why did you do it, though? Your family seems to be rich. Or is that how your family became rich in the first place?”

    Rimbo: “Listen, Mari. You can never have too much money. As much as I have, I’ll always want more.”

    Mari: “Understood. Are you hungry? I can order some food and have it delivered.”

    Rimbo: “I’m starving.”

    When the food eventually arrived, Mari slipped some knock-out drops in Rimbo’s food, and she kept slipping him knock-out drops in his food and drinks until they arrived in New York.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    After Amanda Waller took Rimbo off Mari’s hands, she was free to get ready for her postponed date with Solomon Samuels, the guy she had accidentally smacked the crap out of during an incident at Manhattan Mall a few days prior. She figured she would hang out with him for maybe an hour then head back to her apartment, where she could finally relax and catch up on some Netflix shows. She stared at herself in the mirror, wondering if she should put her hair up or leave it down, and ultimately decided to put it in a pony-tail. After putting on a blue dress and grabbing a shawl in case it was cold in the restaurant, she was ready to go.

    When she got to the restaurant, she expected to find Solomon waiting for her, but he hadn’t arrived yet. She was just about to call him to see where he was and how much longer he’d take to get to the restaurant when she received another call from Waller. What could the Wall possibly want this time?
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
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  5. #5
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    Mari: “Yes, Amanda?”

    Amanda: “Rimbo escaped custody.”

    Mari: “What?!”

    Amanda: “He overpowered the guards who were escorting him to jail by biting them both in half.”

    Mari: “Is this some sort of joke, Waller?”

    Amanda: “I wish this was a laughing matter, but it’s not. Rimbo transformed, Mari. He’s not a normal man. He’s got powers. Witnesses reported seeing him transform into some massive lizard-like humanoid creature, and that must have been right before he bit those guards in half. I have a feeling he’s going to be after you and me for apprehending him. You need to get somewhere safe, like me. I’m much too adorable to be bitten in half.”

    Mari: “You’re delusional, and quite possibly really, really drunk. Where was he last seen?”

    Amanda: “Canal and Mott streets, but –“

    Mari: “Gotta go. I’ll be in touch.”

    She rushed out of the restaurant and ran straight into Solomon.

    Solomon: “Mari! Good to see you! Sorry I’m late.”

    Mari: “I’m sorry too, Solomon, because I can’t stay. I have to go. Something important has come up.”

    Solomon: “Again, Mari? This is the second time “something has come up.” This is the second time you’re postponing this date.”

    Mari: “I know. I feel bad about it, but I really do have to go.”

    Solomon: “If you leave, don’t expect me to sit around waiting for you to reschedule… again.”

    Mari: “I’m really sorry.”

    Solomon: “Save it.” He turned away angrily and walked away. Mari felt guilty again, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it. She jumped into the air and flew like a peregrine falcon to the intersection of Canal and Mott. She used the vision of a hawk to scan the area for signs of Rimbo in his massive form, but it was the screams and shouts of passersby that alerted her to Rimbo’s presence.

    Vixen: “Rimbo! Or should I say…Komodo Dragon?”

    Komodo Dragon turned toward her, with his forked tongue darting in and out of his mouth. He couldn’t see her very well, since his eyesight had become poorer since his transformation, but he could detect her scent and realized she had the same personal scent as Mari.

    Komodo Dragon: “I’m not going back into custody.”

    Vixen: I don’t care how large you are now; I can’t let you remain on the loose. Turn yourself in, or things will get ugly.”

    Komodo Dragon snorted with laughter and then charged at her, but she managed to evade him by running behind him. When he turned around, she delivered a flying kangaroo kick to his midsection but she bounced right off of him and fell on the ground. Komodo Dragon brought both of his massive fists down to smash her skull, but Vixen quickly channeled the strength of an elephant and caught his fists before they could do any damage to her. While she was still holding his fists, she brought her legs up into his stomach, lifted him into the air with her feet and then threw him over her so that he landed on the ground. Before he could rise to his feet, Vixen was on top of him, this time using the punching power of a pistol shrimp to pummel him. Komodo Dragon eventually smacked her away, and she slammed into a tree.

    As she shook her head, trying to clear her head and recover the wind that had been knocked out of her, Komodo Dragon ran toward her, and she barely moved out of the way as he swung at her head. She figured her best bet at this moment was to jump on the tree trunk and circle it like a squirrel, so that’s what she did, and the more Komodo Dragon had to chase her around the tree, the more frustrated he became. Tired of the dance, Komodo Dragon ripped the tree out of the ground and threw it as far away from him as he possibly could. Vixen jumped off the tree and while it was still airborne, she combined the lifting ability of an ant and the flight of an eagle to carry the tree safely back toward the ground so that a falling tree would not hurt anyone.

    Now that she had done away with the tree, Vixen ran to catch up with Komodo Dragon and jumped on his back; after she unsheathed her retractable claws, she dug those claws into Komodo Dragon’s back and dragged them along the length of his back as far as she could. Komodo Dragon roared in pain and ran backwards toward a building so that he could slam her into it. Sensing what he was about to do, Vixen somersaulted off his back, and after Komodo Dragon slammed backward into the building, Vixen raked her claws across his face several times. Komodo Dragon cried out in pain again, and Vixen tried to use this as an opportunity to knee him in the crotch again, but this time he grabbed her leg and used it to swing her into the side of the building. Yet again, Vixen found herself trying to catch her breath.

    Komodo Dragon picked her up with one hand and breathed into her face; his foul-smelling breath made her gag, and he was just about to head-but her when she jabbed him in both of his eyes with her claws. After the eye pain caused him to drop her, Vixen ran away from him, stopped, turned around, and stared at him. She decided to mimic a charging bull next, and although she would never normally choose to physically manifest the actual horns of a bull because she wanted to maintain her female form, she knew this was not the time to try and remain cute. After horns appeared on both sides of her head, she decided to add the horn of a rhinoceros to her physical appearance. Satisfied with her three horns, she charged at Komodo Dragon and gored him, and as he fell to the ground in pain, she didn’t hesitate to use his own ability against him; she mimicked a Komodo Dragon and delivered a venomous bite to one of his gore wounds. When a weakened Komodo Dragon attempted to rise to his feet, Vixen mimicked the combined weight of two elephants and sat on his back.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Amanda Waller was rocking back and forth in a rocking chair in one of her safe houses when she received the call from Vixen.

    Amanda: “Yes?”

    Vixen: “The Dragon is down. Hopefully we can keep him in custody this time!”

    Amanda closed her eyes and sighed with relief; then, she jumped to her feet and started dancing, and as she danced, the floor shook.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  6. #6
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    “Oh Yeah!”

    Jonathan Stewart, also known as Green Lantern, was in the kitchen inside the Justice League Watchtower making a pitcher of grape Kool-Aid when Vixen suddenly appeared from around the corner.

    Vixen: “Hey Jonathan.”

    John: “Hey Mari. Want some Kool-Aid?”

    Vixen: “I can’t believe you just asked me that.” She slid a plastic cup toward the pitcher and waited for the pouring to commence. And she waited. Then she waited some more. Finally, she looked up at Green Lantern, and he was just standing there, smiling.

    Vixen: “Jonathan, do not play with me. Pour the Kool-Aid, please.”

    Green Lantern: “What if I don’t?”

    Vixen swiftly walked over to him and placed him in a playful headlock.

    Vixen: “We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way…and you know what the hard way entails.”

    Green Lantern: “I’m not the slightest bit scared of the hard way.”

    Vixen: “Do you really want me to call the Tickle Monster?”

    Green Lantern: “Call the Tickle Monster, see if I care. The Tickle Monster no longer has any power over me.”

    Vixen: “That remains to be seen.” She tickled him one time under his chin and he collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter. Vixen sighed and poured herself a cup of Kool-Aid instead of waiting for John to do it.

    Vixen: “Some things never change…”

    Wonder Woman walked into the kitchen and said “Why is John on the floor laughing?”

    Vixen: “He just got a visit from the Tickle Monster.”

    Wonder Woman immediately unsheathed her sword. “Where is this Tickle Monster now?”

    Vixen: “She, uh, left. Want some Kool-Aid?”

    Wonder Woman: “Kool-Aid?”

    Vixen poured Wonder Woman a cup of the purple stuff, and as soon as Wonder Woman took a sip, her eyes rolled back in her head.

    Wonder Woman: “Great Hera! That’s delicious!”

    Vixen: “I know, right?”

    Wonder Woman finished the cup of Kool-Aid, poured herself another cup and quickly drank that one as well. Then she went back for a third cup.

    Vixen: “Okay, pace yourself, now…”

    Wonder Woman: “Pace myself? Never. This “Kool-Aid” is nectar from the gods and goddesses of Mount Olympus!”

    Green Lantern: “Nah, it’s just grape Kool-Aid.”

    Wonder Woman: “Who made this?”

    Green Lantern: “I did.”

    Wonder Woman: “Make more, because it’s almost gone.”

    Green Lantern: “Sure, but-“

    Wonder Woman: “No buts. Just make it.”

    Green Lantern: “Alright, just take it easy.” He began gathering the ingredients to make another pitcher of Kool-Aid, but he was frowning as he did so. When Wonder Woman began scratching her skin and looking around frantically, Vixen and Green Lantern exchanged worried glances.

    Wonder Woman: “Is it ready yet?”

    Vixen: “You really need to relax, Diana.”

    Wonder Woman gave Vixen a dirty look and then looked at Green Lantern as if to say “Hurry up!”

    Green Lantern finally finished making a second pitcher of grape Kool-Aid and as soon as he was done, Wonder Woman shoved him out of the way and dunked her entire head into the pitcher.

    Vixen: “Okay, that’s it. I’m cutting you off!” She attempted to pull Wonder Woman away from the Kool-Aid pitcher, but Wonder Woman picked her up and body-slammed her to the floor. Green Lantern rushed over to pull Wonder Woman away from the Kool-Aid but she back-handed him across the room. After she finished drinking the entire second pitcher of Kool-Aid, she walked over to Green Lantern and lifted him up by his throat.

    Wonder Woman: “I require more Kool-Aid, John. You will make it.”

    Green Lantern: “No, I will not. The kitchen’s closed.”

    Wonder Woman: “Please, John! I NEED it!”

    Vixen: “Oh wow. Jonathan, I think she’s high on Kool-Aid!”

    Green Lantern: “Yeah, it seems that way. Look, Diana, I will not make any more Kool-Aid because there are no more packets. It’s over.”

    Wonder Woman let go of Green Lantern’s throat and sunk to the floor in defeat. “No more Kool-Aid? No more nectar? Great Hera!”

    Vixen: “Is Hera really all that great, though? Asking for a friend.”

    Green Lantern: “I could always go to the store and get some more packets, but you’ve got to control yourself, Diana. You’re getting out of hand with this Kool-Aid. If I make some more in the future, will you promise to be cool?”

    Wonder Woman: “Yes, I promise! I’ll be cool, Johnny baby! Just please don’t cut me off!”

    Green Lantern: “That awkward moment when you feel like a Kool-Aid dealer…”

    Vixen: “Hey Diana, since you’re feeling all needy and what not, can I interest you in McCabe Magic?”

    Wonder Woman: “What’s McCabe Magic?”

    Vixen: “It’s my new line of cosmetics. The name of the brand is a work in progress. Care for a sample? I’ve got something here that will knock your socks off.”

    Wonder Woman: “I suppose….”

    Vixen removed some cosmetics from her utility belt and applied some to the Amazon’s face. When Wonder Woman looked down, she saw that her socks were now on the floor.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  7. #7
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    “Honey, Have You Seen The Remote Controller?”

    Mari McCabe was in her kitchen, waiting for a bag of popcorn to finish popping when her cell phone rang.

    Mari: “Hello?”

    Voice: “Hello, Mari, this is the Remote Controller.”

    Mari: “Who?”

    Voice: “I said, I am the Remote Controller.”

    Mari: “Your name doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry. Can you refresh my memory?”

    Remote Controller: “We’ve never officially met.”

    Mari: “How do you know me, then?”

    Remote Controller: “You’re a crimefighting supermodel and businesswoman. A lot of people know who you are.”

    Mari: How did you get my number?”

    Remote Controller: “Enough questions about me. Let’s talk about you. What are you wearing, Mari?”

    Mari: “Clothes.”

    Remote Controller: “What kind of clothes?”

    Mari: “Expensive clothes.”

    Remote Controller: “No, I mean are you wearing pants, a blouse, pajamas?”

    Mari: “I’m wearing a miniskirt with a blouse.”

    Remote Controller: “Are you wearing pantyhose?”

    Mari: “I sure am.”

    Remote Controller: “Can you guess what I’m wearing?”

    Mari: “A straitjacket?”

    Remote Controller: “That’s not very nice, Marilyn Jiwe McCabe.”

    Mari: “Oooh, you’re using my full name. I’m soooooooo scared now! That’s sarcasm, by the way.”

    Remote Controller: “You’re going to pay for that little jab at me.”

    Mari: “Oh really? Okay, cool. Anything else, or are we done here?”

    Remote Controller: “We are nowhere near done here.”

    Mari hung up on him and took her popcorn out of the microwave. 30 minutes later, her phone rang again.

    Mari: “Hello?”

    Remote Controller: “That was rude! Don’t you ever in your life hang up on me!”

    Mari: “Oh, you mean like this?” She hung up on him again and then went upstairs to change into more comfortable clothes. She came back downstairs, turned on the television and started watching Netflix. She briefly felt sad because she had no one with which to Netflix and Chill. She was about to hop onto her laptop and look through some dating profiles of eligible bachelors when her phone rang again. She ignored it at first, but it kept ringing. She turned the phone off, but somehow it turned itself back on and started ringing again. She sighed and held the phone up to her ear.

    Mari: “Remote Controller?”

    Remote Controller: “Yes?”

    Mari: “Are you still calling me from your mother’s basement?”

    Remote Controller: ”Don’t you DARE bring my mother into this!”

    Mari: “YOUR MOMMA is fair game, son!”

    Remote Controller: “You know, I am finding it really hard to like you right now!”

    Mari: “Okay, and? Am I supposed to start crying or something? Now, you better get off the phone and run along like a good little boy, instead of using up your mommy’s phone minutes.”

    The Remote Controller hung up, and Mari poured herself a glass of wine and continued checking out the dating profiles.

    An hour later, after she woke up from an unplanned nap, Mari continued watching Netflix and looking through the dating profiles when she suddenly felt the urge to go outside. After she went outside, she just stood in front of her apartment building, waiting…but she had no idea what she was waiting for, exactly.

    Then her phone rang again.

    Mari: “Hello?”

    Remote Controller: “Now we’re about to have some fun. Go around the corner and rob the first person you see.”

    Mari: “You again. You’re an idiot. I’m not robbing anyone.”

    Remote Controller: “You sure about that?”

    Mari felt her legs propel her forward, but the problem was she had no control over her own legs; it was as if someone else was controlling her movements! She walked
    around the corner and saw a man standing at the corner, waiting for the bus. She reluctantly walked toward him and then stopped.

    Mari: “What’s going on, Remote Controller? How am I walking against my will?”

    Remote Controller: “Because I am controlling you remotely, Mari. My wish is your command. Now, rob him.”
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  8. #8
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    Mari: “No!” She tried to walk away from the man at the bus stop, but her legs wouldn’t move.

    Remote Controller: “You’re not leaving from that spot until you rob him! Do it now, before the bus comes.”

    Mari: “No! I refuse!”

    The man who was waiting for the bus looked at her like she was insane, and then he moved away from her, and Mari felt herself following him. When the man took off running, she chased him! When she caught up to him, she started uncontrollably rifling through his pockets.

    Mari: “Sir, I am so sorry about this!” She grabbed his wallet and then tried to let go of it, but the Remote Controller made her put the wallet in her pocket.

    Man: “Help! Police!”

    Mari: “Yes! Please do call the police! As a matter of fact. I’ll help you call the police!”

    She tried yelling for the police as well, but the words that came out of her mouth were not the words she was thinking about.

    Mari: “Sir, would you like to see my legs?”

    Man: “Sure er I mean, I beg your pardon?”

    Mari: “My legs: care for a peek?”

    Man: “Why I never!”

    Before Mari could say anything else, the Remote Controller made Mari board the bus that had just arrived, and as soon as she boarded, she stared at everyone.

    Female Passenger: “Hey, that’s Mari McCabe, the supermodel! What’s she doing riding on public transportation?”

    Remote Controller: “Which one of these passengers will I have you mess with, Mari?”

    Mari: “Remote Controller, don’t do this. You can embarrass me all you want, but leave these people out of your shenanigans.”

    Remote Controller: “Now where’s the fun in that? Okay, let’s see. Do you see that woman in the back of the bus glaring at you?”

    Mari sure did see a woman glaring at her, and she wasn’t even trying to hide her disdain for the Lady Fox. The woman was not only mad because Mari was gorgeous, but she was also mad that her boyfriend also thought Mari was gorgeous. As the woman continued to glare, Mari lurched toward her in a Frankenstein’s Monster-type fashion, but once Mari reached the back of the bus, the Remote Controller made Mari sit down on the lap of the woman’s boyfriend.

    Boyfriend: “Uh…”

    Girlfriend: “What the-“

    Mari: “Guys, I am so sorry about this!”

    Boyfriend: “No need to apologize, uh I mean, this is highly unusual!”

    The Remote Controller made Mari lean toward the man’s girlfriend and declare “I’m pregnant, and your man is definitely the father!”

    Boyfriend: “Baby, I didn’t sleep with this woman, honest! And trust me, I would have definitely remembered if I had!”

    The girlfriend didn’t know whether to cry or turn Mari’s face into a punching bag, but before she could make a decision, the Remote Controller made Mari exit the bus and run into a nearby grocery store, where she proceeded to throw as much food at customers as she possibly could. When store security tried to apprehend her, the Remote Controller made her run out of the grocery store and into the nearest movie theater, where she proceeded to yell at the audiences in each theater and spoil the endings of all the movies playing. After all the audiences chased her out of the theater shaking their fists and calling for her head, the Remote Controller made Mari run into a police station.

    Remote Controller: “I can’t have those people tearing you apart, now can I, Mari? That would end the evening way too soon, and I do so enjoy spending time with you.”

    Mari: “You need a girlfriend!”

    Remote Control: “Are you applying for the job?”

    Mari: “I’d rather stand in the unemployment line!”

    Remote Control: “Just for that….”

    The Remote Controller raised Mari’s hand and was about to have her grab a nearby cop’s gun out of his holster and shoot him with it, but Mari overheard another voice on the other end of her cellphone.

    Voice: “Rugburt, it’s way past your bedtime! What are you still doing on the phone? Go to bed!”

    Rugburt: “But Mom!”

    Voice: “I don’t want to hear it! You’ve got one minute to get your butt in bed, or I’ll have your father come in here!”

    Mari: “Rugburt? HAHAHA!”

    Remote Controller: “Shut up, Mari! I’m not done with you!”

    Mari: “It looks like you are, Rugburn! Nighty night!”

    Remote Controller: “This is not over by a long shot. I’ll be calling and controlling you again. You haven’t heard the last of me!”

    Mari was about to respond, but she heard another male voice over the phone yell “Rugburt, you still on that phone, boy!?”

    Remote Controller hung up, and Mari sighed, realizing that she would have to change her phone number and return the wallet to the man she had “robbed” at the bus stop.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Somewhere, in another dimension, the 53-year-old Remote Controller sobbed uncontrollably as his 75-year-old mother and his 76-year-old father took turns whipping him.

    Rugburt: “B-b-but Mom!”

    Mother: “Our house, our rules!”

    Father: “And stop all that crying, or we’ll give you something to cry about! Move your hands!”
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  9. #9
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    “Model Behavior”

    Marilyn “Mari” McCabe is strutting down another runway in yet another fashion show when a rival model walking down the opposite side of the runway sticks out her foot. Mari trips over the foot and goes flying out of control into the audience. When Mari falls onto a man’s lap, he grins.

    Man: “I’ll never wash my lap again!”

    His wife: “Right. Like you ever washed it to begin with.”

    Mari apologizes to the man, leaps back onto the catwalk and runs after the model who tripped her. When she corners the other model in the dressing room, the model whirls around to face her.

    Mari: “What is your problem?”

    The other model sneers and looks her up and down with contempt. “I’m sick of you, McCabe. I’m tired of all the attention you get, and I’m sick and tired of everyone talking about how gorgeous you are! I’m gorgeous too, why don’t people ever fawn over ME??” She takes out a phone and hurls it at Mari, and after Mari dodges it, the model takes out more phones and begins throwing them at Mari’s head like they are shurikens.

    One of the phones rings while it is flying toward Mari’s head, so she grabs it from mid-air and answers it.

    Mari: “Hello? Yes? Hold on. Sasha, it’s for you.”

    Sasha: “Really?”

    Mari: “Nah, not really.” She throws the phone at Sasha and watches as the phone hits Sasha right upside the head.

    Sasha: “You really should not have done that.”

    Mari: “But it’s been done. So now what?”

    Sasha: “Well, now I’m really gonna have to beat your ass.”

    Mari: “Oh word? Shit, that’s all you had to say, girlfriend.” She takes off her earrings and puts them on a table. “It’s been a minute since I caved a fool’s face in.”

    The women are about to trade further blows but the rest of the models come into the dressing room since the fashion show is over. Mari puts her earrings back on and walks over to Sasha.

    Mari: “This isn’t over. Meet me at my apartment later tonight at 10 p.m. sharp. We fenna BOX.”

    Sasha: “Cool. See you then, McCabe.”

    Mari: “Okay, bye-eeeeeeeeeee!”

    Sasha: “Bye-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    When Sasha shows up later that night at Mari’s apartment, Sasha is not alone…she has a man with her.

    Mari: “Who’s this?”

    Sasha: “This is my brother, Temper.”

    Mari: “Strange name for such a hot guy.”

    Temper: “Thanks, babe!”

    Sasha: “Are you hitting on my brother, McCabe?”

    Mari: “Somebody has to, it might as well be me.”

    Sasha: “Gross. Look, he’s here to referee and make sure I don’t kill you, cuz see, I tend to lose control when I fight. And since I don’t want a murder rap on my head, he’ll stop me from going too far.”

    Mari: “Whatever. The way I-“

    Sasha sucker-punches her, and Mari falls backward into her glass table. As Mari lies in the shattered glass, Sasha towers over her.

    Sasha: “You know me as “Sasha” in the modeling world, but my parents named me Tantrum, cuz when I get upset, I hold nothing back.”

    Mari slowly rises to her feet. “Oh, so Temper-Tantrum. One hot, one not. Got it.”

    Tantrum swings at Mari but Mari ducks and punches Tantrum in the stomach. After Tantrum doubles over in pain, Mari chops her on the back of the neck. In order to give his sister time to recover, Temper walks over, lifts Mari up and carries her to a corner of the room.

    Mari: “Wow, you’re really strong. Do you work out?”

    Temper: “Yes, and often.”

    Mari: “What gym do you go to, and on what days, and at what times? Not asking for a friend, asking for ME.”

    Temper: “That’s sweet. You and I should hang out sometime.”

    Mari: “I agree, we should definitely hang out tonight.”

    Tantrum runs toward Mari but Mari kangaroo kicks her into the kitchen. Tantrum grabs a knife off the counter.

    Tantrum: “I’m going to carve you like a turkey.”

    Mari: “Thanksgiving’s not for another two months, duh!” She rips a skillet from off the stove, knocks the knife out of Tantrum’s hand with the skillet and then rams the skillet into Tantrum’s face. Temper runs over and catches Tantrum before she falls face-first to the floor, and then he carries her over to the couch.

    Mari: “You’ll be fine, Tantrum, but you should really get some rest. I’ll let you rest here while I go out and have dinner with your brother, and then he can come back here and drive you home. If the phone rings, don’t answer it. If the doorbell rings, don’t answer it. If you wake up, go back to sleep. If you feel the urge to look through my stuff, don’t.”

    Tantrum: “If you hurt my brother, we’re gonna fight again. If you try to swap spit with my brother, we’re gonna fight again. If my brother wants to see you again after tonight, we’re gonna fight again. If he talks to me about you after tonight, we’re gonna fight again. If I see you wearing my brother’s clothes, we’re gonna fight again. If I see my brother wearing YOUR clothes, we’re gonna fight again.”

    Mari puts a blanket on Tantrum and places a pillow under her head.

    Mari: “I’m glad we understand each other. Okay, bye-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

    Tantrum: (falling asleep): “Bye-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  10. #10
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    “Temper Your Emotions”

    Previously on “All Our Universes”, Vixen encountered a guy named Temper who she thought was hot, so she went to dinner with him. This is what happens next…

    After Mari and Temper are shown to their table in the restaurant, a busboy comes over and accidentally spills a glass of water on Temper.

    Busboy: “I apologize, sir. I’ll go get you some more napkins.”

    Mari: “Yes, and be quick about it! I don’t like to be kept waiting!” She frowns, wondering why she had felt the need to say that. After the busboy leaves, Mari looks at Temper, who is smiling at her.

    Mari: “Is something amusing?”

    Temper: “No. I am merely admiring your beauty. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. How is it you are single?”

    Mari: “I just haven’t found the right guy yet.”

    Temper keeps staring at her and smiling, but then he collects himself and begins looking at the menu. Mari is about to pick up her own menu when she hears a couple behind her starting to argue.

    Husband: “You know, I’ve had it with you. You wanna know why I cheat on you? Cuz you don’t turn me on like you used to! There, I said it!”

    Wife: “Well guess who’s sleeping on the couch tonight!”

    Husband: “You?”

    Wife: “As if!”

    Mari feels the urge to leap up and smack them both, but she controls herself and thinks “Woosah!” to get her mind off the couple’s conversation. But they keep arguing.

    Wife: “I want a divorce!”

    Husband: “That’s the best news I’ve received all month! You can have one!”

    Wife: “Good!”

    Husband: “Great!”

    Wife: “Wonderful!”

    Husband: “Fantastic!”

    Mari whirls around. “Hey! I’m on a date over here! Pipe down, or so help me Anansi I’ll come over there and put BOTH of you out of your misery!”

    Wife: “Who are you, and why are you in our business? This is between me and this no-good, lying, cheating moron of a man here!”

    Mari: “It seems to me you’re also a moron if you married him while knowing that he’s a moron!”

    The wife ran over to her. “He didn’t become a moron until AFTER I married him.”

    Mari: “Oh, I see.” She and the wife then look at Temper, who is calmly staring at the menu.

    Temper: “Ready to order, Mari?”

    Mari: “Didn’t you hear me arguing with the couple? How could I have had time to look at the menu when I’m arguing? Hello, McFly?”

    Temper just nods and says “The stuffed ravioli sounds good. I think I’ll have that. Do you want me to order for you?”

    Mari mocks him and says “Do you want me to order for you? No, Einstein, I’m perfectly capable of ordering my own meal, thank you very much.” She glares at him while wondering why she feels so angry and hostile.

    The wife returns to her table to berate her husband some more. The husband sighs, picks up his bowl of hot soup and pours the soup on her head, which gets her heated literally and figuratively. She in turns throws a plate of salad at him, but when he ducks the salad lands on top of a bald man’s head. The bald man turns around and punches the husband in the face, and then food just starts flying all over the restaurant as everyone starts fighting. Somebody taps Mari on the shoulder and when she turns around, water is thrown in her face.

    Mari glares at the woman who threw the water and says “Would you like to meet my fist?”

    The woman now throws a glass of Sierra Mist in Mari’s face and then says “Drop dead.”

    Mari is about to punch her with the speed of a cobra strike but Temper touches her on the shoulder and says “It’s time to order.”

    Mari stares at him while frowning.

    Temper: “Something wrong?”

    Mari: “Why are you so calm? You’ve had this serene expression ever since we sat down. You were even smiling at one point. Chaos is happening all around you but you don’t seem at all fazed by it. I feel like smacking you right now. Do you feel like smacking me?”

    Temper: “No, not at all. Quite the opposite, actually. I feel like kissing you right now.”

    Mari feels herself getting angrier. “Why do I get the feeling you know what’s going on around here?”

    Temper sighs.

    Mari: “Are you causing this chaos?”

    Temper: “Not on purpose. Whenever I get nervous, people around me start acting angry. Whenever I have any type of temper or mood, people around me start behaving with different tempers and moods than my own.”

    Mari: “Why are you nervous?”

    Temper doesn’t say anything, but just grins at her as he stares into her eyes.

    Mari: “Oh Lord.”

    Temper: “I know I just met you tonight, but you make me weak. Here, I wrote you a poem while you were having drinks thrown in your face. Should I read it?”

    Mari: “Please don’t, Temper. Look, I don’t think this is going to work between us. You’re a really cute guy, but I don’t think our temperaments mesh. I can’t be with a guy who causes havoc around him every time he gets nervous about something. Plus, you seem too sweet and nice.”

    Temper: “Isn’t that what women want, though? Don’t women want sweet, nice guys?”

    Mari: “Uh, well…you see the thing is, Temper…um…huh?”

    Temper: “Don’t women want sweet, nice guys?”

    Mari: “The truth is… I AM Iron Man.”

    Temper just stares at her.

    Mari: “Nothing? No reaction at all? Okay, with all seriousness, some women want that, but not all women. Sometimes we want a guy with an edge, a guy who’s dangerous, but not too dangerous, if that makes any sense.”

    Temper: “I can be dangerous.”

    Mari: “I don’t think too many dangerous guys write poems for women they’ve only known for a few hours.”

    Temper nods in despair, then in anger, and the angrier he gets, the happier the people around him become. The couple that had been yelling earlier about divorce are now cuddling and kissing.

    Mari: “Are you going to be alright?”

    Temper: “Now that you’ve broken a guy’s heart, you’re going to pretend like you care?”

    Mari: “And with that being said, I should go.”

    She hurries out of the restaurant, leaving Temper alone to contemplate how to change his luck with women.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  11. #11
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    “Barks Like Dog, Meows Like Cat”

    One night, Vixen is flying like a bat through the Manhattan sky, patrolling the streets while using the vision of a hawk, when she notices two masked men trying to break into an ATM. Homing in on her prey, she swoops down to confront them.

    She perches on top of a parked car, puts her fists on her shapely hips and loudly proclaims “Stop in the name of the Red!”

    The masked men look at Vixen, then look at each other, then bust out laughing.

    Vixen: “What, too overly dramatic?”

    Masked Man 1: “Yo, this chick is HILARIOUS!”

    Masked Man 2: “I think I’ve seen this gal on the news before. I think she calls herself Termite Girl. Hey, lady, take your cosplay someplace else. We’re busy here.”

    Vixen: “Both of you stop what you’re doing. I won’t tell you again.”

    Masked Man 2: “Yo, dude, we’d better stop. We wouldn’t want Termite Girl to get mad at us.”

    Vixen: “My name’s Vixen.”

    Masked Man 1: “Like a video vixen? Say, weren’t you the one dancing in one of those Ludacris videos back in the day?” He chuckles as he continues trying to break into the ATM.

    Vixen: “You fool! A vixen is a female fox.”

    Masked Man 1: “And you’re gonna be a dead female fox if you don’t shut yer trap and get out of here. Run along. Shoo. We have a very important meeting with this ATM machine and you’re not gonna stop it.”

    Vixen crouches down on the hood of the car and looks from one man to the other while saying “ATM machine is redundant, actually. ATM actually stands for Automated Teller Machine, so when you say “ATM machine, what you are actually saying is “Automated Teller Machine machine, which makes absolutely no sense and ultimately leaves you sounding like a boob. That’s probably what I should call you guys: Boob 1 and Boob 2.”

    Masked Man 2 removes a gun from inside his jacket and fires three shots at Vixen but she uses the speed of a pistol shrimp to grab the bullets and hurl them back in the direction of the men. The bullets hit the ATM and both men take off running.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Later that night, Vixen goes into a diner for a bite to eat and runs into Swamp Thing, who is hunched over in a booth in the back of the establishment.

    Vixen: “Hey Crabgrass.”

    Swamp Thing looks up and grins. “Hey Scooby Doo, I see you. Solve any mysteries with Shaggy lately?”

    Vixen holds her sides, pretends to laugh and then playfully scowls at him.

    Swamp Thing: “We’re having an all-Parliament meeting next week on Tuesday at 9 p.m. at the usual place. You should be there.”

    Vixen: “I was planning on being there. Poison Ivy’s not going to be there, is she?”

    Swamp Thing: “Of course, she’s part of the Green. She’s trying really hard to turn her life around.”

    Vixen: “Too many of Batman’s enemies are trying to be on the right side of the law, all of a sudden. Her, Harley Quinn, Clayface…it’s a bit odd. But if Ivy gets out of line, don’t be surprised if I jump up and smack her.”

    Swamp Thing: “Poison Ivy would wipe the floor with you.”

    Vixen blinks rapidly in surprise. “Excuse me?”

    Swamp Thing: “Did I stutter?”

    Vixen: “You WILL be stuttering after I punch you in the throat.”

    Swamp Thing laughs. “Good luck trying to hurt me. I am the avatar of the Green.”

    Vixen: “And I am the avatar of the Red.”

    Swamp Thing: “Tell that to Animal Man. He said HE is the avatar of the Red.”

    Vixen: “Buddy Baker probably still has a concussion from that accident he had on that movie set. Of course he’d still be saying some crazy shit like that. But listen, I’m gonna grab some food to go and get back to patrolling. It was good seeing you again, Ragweed .”

    Swamp Thing: “Likewise, Jiminy Cricket.”
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Also later that night, the two masked men who Vixen encountered earlier return to their hideout, and the woman they work for slowly turns around.

    “Did you get the money?”

    The men glance nervously at each other before responding.

    Masked Man 1: “No, we weren’t able to get it.”

    Woman: “And why not?”

    Masked Man 2: “We were stopped by some broad calling herself Vixen.”

    Woman: “I have heard of her. She barks like dog and meows like cat. And neither of you could kill her?”

    Masked Man 2: “Nah, but we did try to shoot her, but somehow we missed and she threw the bullets back at us.”

    Woman: “Leave Vixen to me. While I find her and break every bone in her body, both of you will go back out and get me money. But in the meantime, you both must be punished for failing me.”

    She removes her shoes and socks and wiggles her toes while smiling at the men.

    Woman: “Who wants to do the honors first?”

    The men gulp, but neither one says anything.

    Woman: “Fine. You two will do it at the same time. Now come here and service me.”

    Masked Man 1: “Look, we’re sorry, Boss. It won’t happen again.”

    Woman: “I didn’t ask you if it would happen again. I said come here. Both of you.”

    The men stagger toward her with fear in their eyes, and she grabs both of their heads and forces their heads downward.

    Woman: “Now you two will lick the toe jam from between my toes, and after you have cleaned my toes with your tongues to my satisfaction, you will massage my corns.”

    Masked Man 2: “Yes, Murder Hornet. When you command, we obey.”

    Murder Hornet smiles as she contemplates breaking Vixen’s neck…
    Last edited by MoneySpider; 10-10-2020 at 06:02 PM.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  12. #12
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    Last time, on All Our Universes: A woman calling herself Murder Hornet contemplated breaking Vixen’s neck. Also, two goons sucked Murder Hornet’s toes and will most likely never, ever stop brushing their teeth.

    “The Woman Who Kicked The Hornet In The Head…Or Not”

    Vixen drives her red and black McLaren 720S Spider into a parking space near the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan, and when she walks into Linder Theater, she sees the rest of the group that has gathered to hold the meeting of the Parliaments.

    Poison Ivy: “Vixen.”

    Vixen: “Poison Ivy.”

    Swamp Thing (nodding to Vixen): “Sasquatch.”

    Vixen (nodding to Swamp Thing): “Lurch.”

    Vixen: “Animal Man.”

    Animal Man: “Vixen.”

    Beast Boy: “Poison Ivy.”

    Poison Ivy: “Beast.”

    Beast Boy: “Beast Boy, not Beast. Beast is with the X-Men.”

    Poison Ivy: “Whatever, Beast. You’re lucky I acknowledged you at all.”

    Vixen: “Don’t talk to him like that!”

    Poison Ivy: “I’ll talk to him any way I want! Mind your own business, Mari!”

    Vixen: “You need better manners, Pamela!”

    Poison Ivy runs up to Vixen and they begin play-strangling each other, while Beast Boy takes out his phone and starts recording the “fight.”

    Beast Boy: “I wonder how many views I can get for this on my YouTube channel.”

    Swamp Thing: “Ok, guys, let’s simmer down and get this meeting started.”

    After everyone takes their seats, Swamp Thing goes through the list.

    Swamp Thing: “Anything new from the Parliament of Flames?”

    Firestorm: “Nope, everything’s quiet.”

    Swamp Thing: “What about the Parliament of Waves?”

    Aquaman: “No news, dude.”

    Swamp Thing: “Parliament of Limbs?”

    Animal Man: “There was a slight disturbance this morning when Animal Control evacuated a mother squirrel and her babies from an attic, but I’m pleased to report that the mother and her babies have been relocated and are content now.”

    Poison Ivy: “Oh wow! I’m so glad the universe was saved!”

    Animal Man: “Right!?”

    Poison Ivy rolls her eyes and then glares at Vixen, who returns her glare. Then they stick their tongues out at each other.

    Swamp Thing: “Ivy? Anything to report for the Parliament of Trees?”

    Poison Ivy: “Things are fine, for now. But the next time someone pisses me off, I’m going to start sticking tree limbs where the sun doesn’t shine.”

    Swamp Thing: “Riiiiiiiiight. Ok, I have nothing to report as well, and all of the Parliaments appear to be in balance, so ladies and gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned.”

    Vixen: “Well, this meeting has been about as exciting as Poison Ivy’s love life.”

    Poison Ivy: “Oh, trust me, my love life is off the chain!”

    Vixen: “Making out with the bushes in front of your house doesn’t count.”

    Poison Ivy: “Hey, how did you find out about that?”

    Vixen: “Animals talk, and I listen. You never know when an animal is watching or listening to you.”

    Poison Ivy: “That’s…creepy.”

    Vixen slowly turns her head to stare at Ivy. “It was meant to be creepy. Do you need a ride home?”

    Poison Ivy: “Hell yeah I need a ride home!”

    Vixen: “Alright, let me run to the washroom first and I’ll meet you out in front of the building.”

    After exiting the Linder Theater, Vixen is immediately punched in the face by the Murder Hornet.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    When Vixen wakes up, she discovers that she is tied to a chair in a warehouse and is being watched by the two goons whom she had met earlier when they were trying to break into an ATM machine.

    Vixen: “Boob 1 and Boob 2? Long time no see.”

    Masked Man 2: “Your days of insulting us will soon be over.”

    Vixen: “Oh yeah? And why is that?” She uses the strength of an elephant to break through the rope and she stands up but the Murder Hornet emerges from seemingly out of nowhere and smacks her to the floor.

    Murder Hornet: “It’s because of me, Mari McCabe. You interfered with my plans, and I don’t like interference.”

    Vixen: “And who are you?”

    Murder Hornet: “What does my mask look like to you?”

    Vixen: “It looks like a hornet’s head.”

    Murder Hornet: “Very good. I am Murder Hornet, and I will be the one who kills you. But it won’t be today, or tomorrow, or even day after tomorrow. I let you live for a time, until I decide it is time for you to die. You never know when I come back to kill you. Every time you look over shoulder, I might be there. Every time you close your eyes at night, you may not live to see the next morning. Every time you take bite to eat, or sip to drink, that may be your last moment on Earth. Can you truly trust that your foods will not be poisoned, and your drinks not tainted? In this way, I have power over you. Enjoy the rest of your life, as long or as short as I decide to make it. I’ll be in touch…literally. Enjoy the rest of night, Mari…or not.”
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Murder Hornet and the two goons are walking out of the hotel when Murder Hornet’s phone rings.

    Murder Hornet: “Yes?”

    “Is it done?” the voice over the phone asks.

    Murder Hornet: “Not yet. I am having fun with this one.”

    “I am not paying you to have fun. I’m paying you to kill her. And I’m telling you right now, if you fail to kill her and she ruins my operation, I’ll send the Bee Hive after both her AND YOU!”

    Murder Hornet: “Not to worry, Queen Bee. Your operation will unfold as planned. Everything is under control…”
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  13. #13
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    “The Woman Who Invaded The Hornet’s Nest…Maybe? Probably? Possibly?”

    Last time, on “All Our Universes”, Vixen attended a Parliament meeting and stuck her tongue out at Poison Ivy. Afterward, Vixen got her lights punched out by Murder Hornet. Ready for what happens next? Neither am I, so here goes…

    Vixen returns to her Manhattan apartment, lights some candles, pours herself a tall glass of A&W root beer, sits down on the floor cross-legged and closes her eyes to communicate with every animal on the planet, except for humans.

    Vixen intends to put out an APB (All-Points-Bulletin) for the Murder Hornet. Using the memorization skills of a dolphin, Vixen proceeds to mentally relay all of the physical characteristics of the Murder Hornet, as well as the sound of Murder Hornet’s voice and her mannerisms. After all of the information has been provided, Vixen sits back, drinks her root beer and waits.

    An hour later, after having fallen asleep, she is awakened by a sudden thought in her head, initiated by a gaze of raccoons who had seen the Murder Hornet enter her secret hideout when they had been foraging in garbage bins for food. Apparently the Murder Hornet had not left the hideout in hours, so the raccoons suggested Vixen arrive at the location on the double. Feeling like driving instead of flying like a bird, a bat or an insect, Vixen grabs her car keys and rushes out of her apartment.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    33 minutes later, Vixen parks her McLaren 720S Spider in an alley across the street from the abandoned warehouse and is immediately surrounded by the raccoons. The leader of the gaze walks over to her and asks if she wants to eat some garbage with them. Vixen politely declines by emitting a chittering sound, and the leader tells her she is missing out, because the garbage is delicious. Vixen thanks the raccoons for their help and then sprints across the street toward the warehouse. As she gets closer to the building, she sees what looks like guards standing at the entrance, so she enhances the camouflage ability of a chameleon and becomes nearly invisible to the naked eye.

    Now in stealth mode, Vixen adds the silent approach of a cat on padded paws to the camouflage ability of the chameleon to sneak up on the guards and knock them out with the strength of a mountain gorilla. Once the two guards are unconscious, she cautiously makes her way into the building.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Looking at the surveillance cameras, the Murder Hornet sees Vixen get out of her car and go nearly invisible as she sprints toward the warehouse.

    Murder Hornet: “I’m not sure how the Vixen has found us, but she is here. Lads, go to her, rough her up a bit, then drag her up here to me so that I can finish her.”

    Masked Man 1: “Do we really have to, Boss?”

    Murder Hornet puts on her Hornet mask. “I don’t recall asking for question.”

    Masked Man 2: “It’s just that, well, she threw bullets at us last time!”

    Murder Hornet turns to him. “You have choice; face Vixen, or face me.”

    The Masked Men look at each other and then run to confront Vixen.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Vixen turns a corner and sees the Masked Men coming towards her with their guns drawn, so she touches the Tantu Totem around her neck, and eight Rottweiler animal spirits emerge from the totem; as the men stare in horror, the Rottweiler spirits suddenly become flesh and blood and start chasing the men! With the men distracted, Vixen mimics a bear’s sense of smell to track the Murder Hornet’s scent, which she remembers from their previous encounter. Once Vixen locks in on the scent, she flies upward with the flight of a dragonfly and crashes through several ceilings and floorboards until she reaches the Murder Hornet.

    Murder Hornet: “Instead of waiting for death, you have chosen to face it immediately. Interesting.”

    Vixen says nothing but rushes forward and rips the hornet mask off; Murder Hornet somersaults across the room and throws several stingers filled with hornet venom at her opponent. Vixen mimics a patas monkey (considered to be the fastest monkey on Earth) to evade the stingers. Murder Hornet then shoots a swarm of Asian giant hornets at Vixen in hopes that the hornets will sting her. Not wanting to hurt the hornets, Vixen releases pheromones to communicate with the swarm and let it know that a food source is behind them. Thinking that the Murder Hornet is the food source, the swarm turns around and flies toward her.

    Murder Hornet panics, activates her boot rockets and propels herself upward through the roof of the warehouse. Vixen and the swarm give chase, and soon the Murder Hornet wonders what she should do next. Before she can formulate a plan, Vixen jumps on top of her in mid-air, wraps her arms and legs around Murder Hornet like a boa constrictor and then mimics the weight of a blue whale. Unable to wriggle free from Vixen’s grasp and suddenly weighed down with no way to move, Vixen and Murder Hornet plummet toward the ground.

    Right before they reach the ground, Vixen chops Murder Hornet on the back of her neck to knock her unconscious, then Vixen slowly lowers them to the ground and calls the police so that they can take Murder Hornet into custody. Once Vixen releases more pheromones to tell the swarm that Murder Hornet is not a food source after all, the swarm flies away.

    After the police arrest the Murder Hornet, Vixen flies back to the warehouse, where she sees that the two Masked Men have climbed a tree to escape the Rottweilers. Vixen calls the Rottweilers by name, and they come running toward her, and as they do so, they transform back into spirit animals and disappear back into the Tantu Totem. Vixen lifts the men out of the trees and uses the flight of an eagle and the strength of an elephant to carry them to the nearest police station.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hours later, after Queen Bee tries calling the Murder Hornet for about the 15th time with still no answer, she hurls the cell phone down in disgust. She knows something is wrong, because up until now, Murder Hornet had never failed to give her a daily update.

    “Come back to bed and get some sleep,” a deep voice says to Queen Bee.

    Queen Bee: “Not right now. Something’s wrong. Either she’s dead, or she’s been apprehended. Either way, she won’t be able to carry out the operation.”

    Thanos rolls over and looks at her. “Take it from me, you’ll have to do it yourself…”
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  14. #14
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    “Not Today, Satan, But Maybe Tomorrow We’ll Have Lunch!”

    Just when you thought it was safe to run to the bathroom…
    She’s waiting for you…
    She’s watching you…
    Ever hear of the Lady in the Lake?
    Well, this is the Lady in the Toilet.
    Don’t go Number One!
    Don’t Drop a Deuce!
    Don’t Flush the commode!
    Because if you do…
    She’ll rise out of the water and tickle you!
    She is…The Toilet Tickler!

    Marilyn Jiwe McCabe finishes watching the movie trailer for “The Toilet Tickler” and shakes her head, wondering why Hollywood would waste millions of dollars on a movie like that. She continues flipping through the channels, hoping to find a decent movie, or a decent TV show, but she doesn’t find anything worth watching.

    She turns off the television, picks up the novel she’s been reading and is about to continue reading about a hunch-backed detective named Bobo who is always getting bent out of shape when the doorbell rings. When Mari opens the door, she is not ready for what she sees.

    “Hi, sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you’ve seen my apartment?”

    Mari thinks the question is ridiculous, but she also thinks the man asking the question is devilishly handsome, so she decides not to slam the door in his face.

    “No, I haven’t seen your apartment, Mr…?

    “Oh, I go by many names.”

    Mari: “What’s the name you prefer?”

    “Satan.”

    Mari: “Very funny.”

    Satan looks around and then frowns. “I’m not joking. I’m Satan.”

    Mari: “Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. And I’m Rihanna.”

    Satan: “Well, to be completely honest, you do look a LOT like her. You just have a darker complexion than she does. But anyway, back to my original question: Have you seen my apartment?”

    Mari: “No, and I don’t want to.”

    She slams the door in his face, turns around and sees Satan standing in front of her.

    Satan: “Because it’s missing, and I can’t find it. Mind if I wait here until it shows up?”

    Mari: “Yes, I do mind. I don’t want the devil in my apartment.”

    Satan: “I won’t bite. At least not for a few hours, anyway. I hope I didn’t interrupt your evening.”

    Mari: “You did, actually. My boyfriend is on his way over and we’re going to have Date Night.”

    Satan: “Stop lying, Mari. We both know you don’t have a man.”

    Mari: “Yes I do!”

    Satan: “Mari, come on. It’s me. It’s Satan! I’m the Prince of Lies! I know a lie when I hear one. You’re just saying you have a man in order to scare me off and get me out of your apartment. You don’t have a man, because most men are intimidated by your beauty and think they don’t have a chance with you. And the men who are bold enough to approach you are usually lunatics.”

    Mari: “I feel like my palm’s just been read.”

    Satan: “I almost know you better than you know yourself. I’ve known your entire family for generations. Your entire family has served me well.”

    Mari: “Wait, what? There’s only one entity my family has ever served, and that’s… ANANSI!”

    “Satan” suddenly transforms into Anansi the Trickster God, who now smiles at Mari.

    Anansi: “Just having a bit of fun with you, Marilyn. No harm done.”

    Mari bows to him.

    Mari: “What is thy bidding, Anansi?”

    Anansi (doing his best Emperor Palpatine impression): “There is a great disturbance in the Red.”

    Mari (doing her best Darth Vader impression): “I have felt it.”

    After they both laugh, Anansi becomes serious.

    Anansi: “I am giving you an A.I. component to your Tantu Totem. I figure that since we are now in the age of Siri, Alexa and Google Assistant, you as my champion should have your own A.I. assistant. Her name is Nancy, and you can activate her by simply saying “Uh, Nancy. This A.I. will rival even that of the rings of the Green Lantern Corps.”

    Mari once again bows. “Thank you, Anansi.”

    Anansi: “Oh, look, my apartment’s back.” He transforms into a Jumping Spider and jumps out of sight, only to vanish a few moments later. A few moments later, Mari wakes up, realizing that she had fallen asleep reading her book.

    But was it all a dream? “There is only one way to find out,” she thinks to herself. She touches the totem around her neck as she thinks about Anansi, and suddenly she says “Uh, Nancy?”

    Uh Nancy: “Yes, Mari?”

    A feeling of relief washes over Mari, because she realizes that Anansi HAD visited her to give her this gift.

    Mari: “What time is it?”

    Uh Nancy: “Right now, the time is 7:57 p.m.”

    Suddenly, the REAL Satan appears in front of Mari.

    Satan: “Hey. Wanna hang out?”

    Mari: “Not tonight, Satan!”
    Last edited by MoneySpider; 11-13-2020 at 11:36 PM.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  15. #15
    Mighty Member MoneySpider's Avatar
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    “Slap On, Slap Off, Slap on Slap Off…THE SLAPPER!” (The sound of two slaps can be heard)

    Well, one afternoon at the Hall of Justice, when Wonder Woman is taking cold wings out of the dishwasher, someone invisible walks up behind her and taps her on the shoulder, and when she turns around, someone smacks the living crapola out of her. Wonder Woman slumps to the floor, dazed, with a hand print on her face.

    Wonder Woman: “Holy cannoli that hurt!”

    The Slapper runs away invisibly and hides somewhere in the Hall of Justice.

    Later on, someone knocks on the front door of the Hall of Justice, and after Vixen opens the door, a postal worker with a name tag that says “Argentina” on it hands her a package and asks her to sign for it. But when Vixen reaches for the package, she breaks a nail, and Argentina immediately starts crying.

    Vixen: “Don’t cry for me, Argentina!”

    Argentina: “The truth is you never left me?”

    Vixen: “Woman, I don’t even KNOW YOU! Bye!”

    Vixen slams the door in Argentina’s face and yells “Black Canary! You’ve got mail!”

    Black Canary jumps off of Green Arrow’s lap and grabs the package out of Vixen’s hands.

    Vixen: “How rude!”

    Black Canary: “Finally! Some new fishnets! I’ve been wearing this old pair since 1983!”

    Vixen: “I was wondering what that smell was…”

    Black Canary: “Ollie, look what I’ve got…”

    Vixen shakes her head and leaves the room. A few moments later, The Slapper invisibly enters the room and slaps Green Arrow and Black Canary into unconsciousness.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Even more later on (yep, I said that like that, don’t judge me), Vixen is in the Mess Hall making a mess while eating pudding when Hawkgirl runs up to her table.

    Hawkgirl: “Mari, have you heard?”

    Vixen: “I’ve heard a lot of things.”

    Hawkgirl: “No, I mean about the intruder. We have reason to believe there’s an invisible intruder in the Hall of Justice slapping people. Some of the slap victims are unconscious, while others are merely stunned. Can you use some of your animal senses to see if you can detect the invisible person?”

    Vixen: “I’ll see what I can do.”

    Hawkgirl: “Don’t just “see what you can do.” Just do it.”

    Vixen: “Look here, Nike, don’t tell me what to do.”

    Hawkgirl: “Or what?”

    Vixen: “Or you’re going to get a knuckle sandwich, delivered personally by me!”

    Hawkgirl laughs. “You wouldn’t hurt me, Mari, because I’m based on a BIRD. You love animals.”

    Vixen: “I’ve hurt animal-themed people before. There was The Centipede, The Millipede, Komodo Dragon, and Murder Hornet. One time I knocked Gorilla Grodd through a wall…”

    Hawkgirl is suddenly smacked so hard that she’s sent flying into another room; Vixen jumps to her feet but is slapped so hard, she lands up in the last scene from the previous story.

    Satan: “Hey. Wanna hang out?”

    Vixen: “Today, Satan!”

    Satan: “Wait, what?”

    Vixen: “Do me a favor? Smack me as hard as you can?”

    Satan: “An odd request, and even a little bit kinky, but okay…”

    Satan smacks Vixen back into the current episode, and she slides on the floor into a corner.

    Vixen: “Hawkgirk, are you alright?”

    Hawkgirl: “Who the hell is Hawkgirk?”

    Vixen: “That was a typo. I meant “Hawkgirl.”

    Hawkgirl: “No I’m not alright! I just got smacked! I just thought of something…what if Susan Storm, the Invisible Woman, is slapping everyone?”

    Vixen: “I don’t detect Susan’s scent. The scent belongs to someone else, a scent I’m unfamiliar with.”

    Suddenly the invisible slapper de-cloaks in front of Vixen and stares down at her with a sneer.

    “My name’s Vagabond, and I love causing trouble and wreaking havoc. This slapping exercise was just a test run of my abilities. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to my next appointment.”

    As Vixen and Hawkgirl watch with half-blank, half-surprised expressions on their arms, the woman known as Vagabond accidentally expels gas right before she slowly vanishes without a trace…
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

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