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  1. #16
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    “Fermented”

    Vixen is helping an elderly pigeon across the street when the A.I. in her Tantu Totem beeps, giving her a notification.

    Vixen: “Uh, Nancy? What are my notifications?

    Uh Nancy: “There is a report of drunken squirrels in Marcus Garvey Park. They appear to be dazed and confused.”

    Vixen: “Drunken squirrels? Ooohkay…”

    She mimics the flight of a vampire bat and flies to the scene.

    When she arrives, a cop waves her over to him.

    Cop: Thank goodness you’re here, Mary.”

    Vixen: “It’s Mari, actually.”

    Cop: “We tried calling Beast Boy and Animal Man, but they didn’t pick up their phones, so I was just about to call you.”

    Vixen: “I was last on your list to call?”

    Cop: “Yep.”

    Vixen: “Great, thanks a lot.”

    Cop: “Don’t mention it.”

    The cop stares into Vixen’s eyes but suddenly averts his gaze because he doesn’t want to get lost in them. He notices that one moment her eyes appear to be amber and then in another moment they seem to be hazel.

    Cop: “These squirrels appear to be drunk. Some of them are stumbling and bumbling around, while others are just sitting there, looking stoned. I even had one squirrel try to walk a straight line, and it couldn’t.”

    Vixen bends down and inspects one of the drunken squirrels closely. “This is extremely odd. I’ve never seen anything like this until now.” She waves her hand in front of the squirrel’s face, but the male squirrel just stares ahead without blinking. Then Vixen notices several pear pieces near some of the squirrels. She picks up some of the fruit and sniffs it with the nose of a bloodhound.

    Vixen: “These pears are fermented. If these squirrels ate these pears, it’s not surprising that they are acting drunk. But I’d have to be sure that these squirrels ingested the fruit. I’m going to take some of these squirrels with me to my den to have them analyzed.”

    Cop: “You have a den?”

    Vixen: “It’s a new thing I’m trying out. We’ll see how it goes.”

    Cop: “I guess that makes sense, since vixens are female foxes, and foxes make their homes in dens. Well, I’m going to leave you to it, Mary. Have a good day.”

    Vixen: “It’s Mari!”

    The cop doesn’t hear her, because he is too busy responding to a call about a giant woman pistol-whipping a little woman.
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    Once back home in her spacious Manhattan apartment, Vixen sets up the drunk squirrels on a table near the kitchen and waits for them to poop; once one squirrel does, she puts on a pair of plastic gloves and inspects the feces, using eagle-like vision to see the fruit remnants.

    <Just as I thought. This squirrel ate some fermented pears. Now to see if the other squirrels did as well>

    Once the other squirrels eventually defecate, Vixen repeats the analyzation process and finally concludes that all the squirrels had ingested fermented pears. Then she feeds them some nuts and seeds and allows them to recuperate for a few hours before she flies them back to Marcus Garvey Park.

    No sooner does Vixen drop the squirrels back in the park when a homeless woman shows up with two shopping carts and attempts to feed one of the squirrels some fruit.

    Vixen: “No, wait!”

    Homeless Woman: “Yes?”

    Vixen: “What are you about to feed these squirrels?”

    Homeless Woman: “Just some fruit.”

    Vixen: “Mind if I take a look at some of that fruit?”

    Homeless Woman: “Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt…”

    Vixen takes some of the fruit and sniffs it. “Yeah, just as I thought. This fruit is fermented. Did you feed squirrels in this park earlier?”

    Homeless Woman: “I sure did. I always feed them, but not always fruit. Today I thought I’d feed them something different.”

    Vixen: “Well, you really shouldn’t be feeding them…plus the fruit you gave them was fermented and made them drunk.”

    Homeless Woman: “Oh dear, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. It’s just that they are my only friends, it seems, and I like to do good things for them. I like to feed animals. It helps me feel closer to them. But if I can’t feed the squirrels anymore, who can I feed? I’m so lonely!”

    Vixen: “It’s okay, you didn’t know about the fruit. And if you need a friend, you can just feed me!”

    Homeless Woman: “Really?”

    Vixen: “Yep. Better me than the squirrels! They need their own food, not human food.”

    Homeless Woman: “Okay, open wide!”

    Vixen: “Wait, you’re not going to feed me the fermented fruit, are you?”

    Homeless Woman: “It’s the only food I’ve got!”

    Vixen sighs and takes a piece of fruit from the woman, and just as she does that, a nearby paparazzo snaps several pictures of her with his camera.

    Paparazzo: “Wait until the tabloids get wind of this! Model Marilyn McCabe, being fed by a homeless woman in Marcus Garvey Park! Oh, how the beautiful and mighty have fallen! They’ll pay me a decent amount of money for these pictures!”

    Vixen: “No, sir, wait, you don’t understand! This is not what it looks like!”

    The paparazzo ignores her and races back to his car, and Vixen is about to chase him but the homeless woman calls out to her.

    Homeless Woman: “I’m not done feeding you, dear! Come on back, sit down and talk to me! Please?”

    Vixen still wants to chase the paparazzo and take his camera, or at least destroy his film, but she doesn’t want to leave the elderly woman all alone, so she walks back to the park bench and accepts some more fermented fruit as she listens to the tale of how the homeless woman became homeless.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  2. #17
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    Episode 15: “Red Lion and the Lionesses”

    One Friday morning, as Marilyn Jiwe McCabe exits her apartment building in Manhattan and is about to drive into work at McCabe Industries, someone peeks their head around the corner, stares at Mari for a few seconds and then shoots her in the neck with a tranquilizer dart.

    A few seconds after Mari falls unconscious onto the pavement, two women run over to her, pick her up and carry her over to a nearby van.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    When Mari eventually awakes, she sees Matthew Bland, a.k.a. Ja-Zaki, a.k.a. Red Lion, President-for-Life of the African nation of Buredunia, staring at her with a grin!

    Vixen: “Red Lion!?”

    Red Lion: “In the flesh, my dear.”

    Vixen: “I am not your “dear.”

    Red Lion: “Are you my “deer?” D-E-E-R?”

    Vixen: “That was lame, kind of like how one of your legs is going to be after I kick you in it. What is the meaning of this? Where am I? One minute I’m leaving my apartment, the next minute I’m here, wherever this is.”

    Red Lion: “Welcome to Buredunia.”

    Vixen groans. “Why do people keep kidnapping me all the way to Africa?”

    Red Lion: “Wait, this has happened to you before?”

    Vixen: “Yes, it has. But that’s another story for another time.”

    Red Lion: “Since you’re obviously wondering why I brought you here, I won’t hold you in suspense. I want you to be one of my Lionesses, effective immediately.”

    Vixen: “Not going to happen, Mr. President.”

    Red Lion chuckles. “I always get what I want.”

    Vixen: “Not this time, I’m afraid.”

    Red Lion: “Why should this time be any different than any other time?”

    Vixen: “Uh, because I won’t marry you? Duh.”

    Red Lion: “I want you as one of my Lionesses because I admire your beauty, your strength, and your powers.”

    Vixen: “You made no mention of my mind.”

    Red Lion: I don’t marry my Lionesses for their minds.”

    Vixen: “How rude!”

    Red Lion: “Marry me, or else.”

    Vixen: “Or else, what, man?”

    Red Lion: “Or else we will be forced to show you the error of your ways in turning me down.”

    Vixen: “And who is “we”, exactly?”

    Red Lion pushes a button under his desk, and a wall opens to reveal about 10 Lionesses.

    Red Lion: “Vixen, meet some of my other Lionesses. Lionesses, this is Vixen.”

    Vixen: “Exactly how many Lionesses do you have in your pride?”

    Red Lion: “About a dozen as of right now, all willing to do my bidding. This is just one of the many perks of being President-for-Life of a country. You could be my First-Lady-for-Life, since I had to imprison the other one. As my First-Lady-for-Life, you would have complete authority over my other Lionesses. But you have to prove your loyalty to me first."

    Vixen: “I’d rather be imprisoned, too, than be married to you.”

    Red Lion: “I’ve got another idea. Lionesses, let's see if you all can get Vixen to reconsider my gracious offer.”

    Before Vixen could react, the Lionesses jump on her.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    When Vixen awakes, she discovers that she is strapped to a strange looking machine in what appears to be a basement.

    Red Lion: "Ah, you're awake. How do you feel?"

    Vixen: "I feel like a bunch of big rig trucks rolled all over me."

    Red Lion: "Yeah, that's what happens when my Lionesses unleash their rage on someone. They beat you to a pulp."

    He holds a mirror in front of her, and she can see that her face is bloodied and bruised.

    Red Lion: "Now normally, I'd say you won't be going on any modeling gigs soon, but you're in luck."

    He flips a few switches and pushes some buttons on the machine, and it roars to life.

    Red Lion: "I call this contraption "The Resurrector." It can take a broken body and make it whole again."

    After a strange sensation washes over Vixen, she can feel her battered face and the rest of her body begin to feel better. The aches and pains she had been feeling for the past few minutes are now gone. When Red Lion holds the mirror up to her again, she sees that her face is back to normal.

    Red Lion: "I'll give you another chance to say yes to me and become one of my Lionesses. If you still refuse, I'll have the Lionesses come in and give you another beating. Then you'll go through the Resurrector again, and we can keep this whole pattern going until your will finally breaks. I'm hoping that you won't be that stubborn, though. I hated to watch them break your face and your body."

    Vixen: "I don't want to go through THAT experience again, thank you very much. It's not very fun having a bunch of women pounding on you before you black out. I'll join your pride."

    Red Lion: "Wait, really?"

    Vixen: "Of course. Think about it; what woman wants to keep getting beaten by a bunch of other women?"

    Red Lion: "True, true. Okay, then, well, in honor of your acceptance, we will have a grand feast tonight.”

    Vixen: “Will there be root beer?”

    Red Lion: “Root beer? No. But we will have wine.”

    Vixen: “But I like root beer. Root beer makes me happy. You want to make me happy, right?”

    Red Lion: “You’re under the assumption I’m trying to please you. On the contrary, the job of all my Lionesses is to please ME.”

    Vixen: “Of course, Mr. President.”

    Red Lion: “And now that I’ve put you back in your place, I will have one of the other Lionesses show you to your room. This will be the room you will be staying in from now on when I have not requested that you share my bed that night.”

    Vixen: “As you wish.”

    After one of the Lionesses escorts Vixen to her room, Vixen turns to her and says “I’m getting out of here, and you and Red Lion’s other Lionesses should come with me.”

    Lioness #11: “Leave here? On purpose? You must be out of your mind. None of the Lionesses want to leave our dear husband. He feeds us. Clothes us, bathes us and protects us. And we do the exact same for him. But don’t worry, once you get used to being here and being told what to do by Red Lion, you won’t ever want to leave Buredunia, or him.”

    Vixen smacks her to snap her back to her senses, and the Lioness smacks Vixen into a wall.

    Lioness #11: “We took your measurements when you were unconscious after we beat you to a pulp. You’ll find a dress in your size hanging up in the closet. You’ll wear that dress to dinner tonight. I personally took the liberty of giving you a dress that doesn’t reveal too much because we don’t need you shoving your ample cleavage in Red Lion’s face, making him salivate and forget the rest of us. And don’t even THINK about trying to get in Red Lion’s bed tonight! Tonight it’s MY turn, and I’ll be damned if some supermodel is going to waltz in here and steal my thunder.”

    Vixen: “Trust me, he’s all yours.”

    Lioness #11: “Yeah, right. That’s what the Lioness in the dungeon said, until she knocked me out and stole my man for the night. That’s why I framed her for a crime she did not commit. I’m warning you now, cross me and I’ll have no problem framing you for something.”

    Vixen: “Good to know.”

    Lioness #11: “Now come with me and some of the other Lionesses to the store. We have to buy groceries for tonight’s dinner. As a new Lioness, it will be your duty to prepare a dish for everyone to consume tonight. Red Lion will judge your cooking abilities, and if you pass the test, you will be one of the Lionesses who will cook for the entire presidential compound on a regular basis.”

    Vixen: “And if I fail the test?”

    Lioness #11: “Red Lion will find other duties for you to perform. Every one of Red Lion’s Lionesses has a role.”
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  3. #18
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    After Vixen and some of the Lionesses return from the store and finish preparing the grand feast, they and Red Lion sit down to eat. Nearly an hour into the meal, Vixen turns to Red Lion.

    Vixen: “You know, while I was at the store today, I went looking for some Root Beer. I didn’t find any.”

    Red Lion: “Quite right. Buredunia does not have this “Root Beer” of which you are so fond. This isn’t America.”

    Vixen: “It’s not?” She looks around in mock confusion.

    Red Lion: “Your sarcasm is cute, but don’t make a habit of it.”

    Vixen: “I’m really set in my ways, I’m afraid.”

    Red Lion: “There’s no need to be afraid. If or when you step out of line, your fellow Lionesses and I will not hesitate to put you back in your place.”

    Vixen: “Question: Why do you call yourself “Red” Lion? Red lions don’t exist.”

    Red Lion: “I needed a name that would make people take notice. Any other questions?”

    Vixen: “Actually, yes. Are you ready for dessert, Mr. President?”

    Red Lion: “Yes. Who has prepared dessert?”

    Vixen: “I have. I have made a chocolate cake. I learned the recipe from my grandmother in Zambesi.”

    Red Lion waves away her explanation with exasperation. “Less talking, more serving.”

    Vixen gets up from the table, cuts the chocolate cake into slices and serves the slices to Red Lion and the Lionesses. When Red Lion takes his first bite of the cake, he closes his eyes to concentrate on the flavor. When the Lionesses eat the cake, they, too, are pleased. Vixen is visibly pleased that her chocolate cake is a hit! While the others are not watching her, Vixen takes bites of the cake off her plate and stores the bites in her cheeks the same way a chipmunk stores food in its own cheek pouches.

    About 20 minutes later, as Vixen is telling everyone about her childhood is Zambesi, Red Lion starts feeling sleepy, and it becomes so bad that he can barely keep his eyes open. The Lionesses are also feeling quite tired, and a few moments later they and Red Lion are asleep. Vixen shouts at them, trying to wake them up, but they remain asleep.

    Satisfied that her trick of putting crushed-up sleeping pills in the cake batter has worked, Vixen spits out the cake she had been hoarding in her cheek pouches and then runs out of the presidential palace and flies to Buredunia’s nearest airport so she can catch a flight back home to Manhattan. While in flight, she wonders how much longer it will be before the laxatives she also slipped into the cake batter will begin to take effect on Red Lion and the Lionesses.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

  4. #19
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    Episode 16: "Just Desserts"

    One Tuesday morning, a few days after returning from Red Lion's country of Buredunia, Marilyn "Mari" McCabe walks into her company called McCabe Unlimited and is immediately greeted by her personal assistant.

    Angelique Alba: "Hey Mari, there's somebody waiting for you in your office. She said she's a friend of yours."

    Mari: "Thanks, Angie. What's my day looking like?"

    Angelique: "Aside from meeting with your friend in your office and your conference call later this afternoon with Tony Stark, Michael Holt and Bruce Wayne, your day is wide open."

    Mari walks into her spacious office and immediately looks puzzled, because she does not recognize the woman sitting in the office.

    Mari: "I'm Mari McCabe. Can I help you?"

    Woman: "Yes, you can help me by staying away from my boyfriend."

    Mari: "Sorry, but you must have me confused with someone else. I'm not around anyone's boyfriend."

    Woman: "Not physically, but you are always with him."

    Mari: "What in the world are you talking about? If I'm not physically around your boyfriend, how can I possibly be anywhere near him?"

    Woman: "He is infatuated with you, and I am infatuated with him. I can feel him slipping away from me, because of you. Every time he hears your name, his face lights up. His face used to light up when he heard MY name. Most of the time I get the feeling he'd rather be dating you instead of me."

    Mari: "I feel bad that you feel that way and that you're going through all of that, but I have no idea how I can possibly help you with your problem. I can't help it if I have fans."

    Woman: "You can help me by dropping out of the limelight. Take an early retirement. Stop being Mari McCabe the celebrity. Stop being Vixen the superheroine. If you go away, he'll stop thinking about you, and he'll start thinking about me again."

    Mari: "If you think I'm going to give up all of my commitments just so you can keep your boyfriend's interest, I don't know what to say for you."

    Woman: "I've got ways to make you go away."

    Mari: "And none of them will work. Our meeting's over."

    The woman shrugs and rises to her feet. "Well, I tried to do this the easy way. You'll be hearing from me again soon. Good day, Miss McCabe."
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Later that afternoon after the conference call, Mari and Angelique are waiting in line to get into a restaurant for lunch when another woman suddenly comes up to them and pushes Angelique to the ground.

    Mari: (running over to her) "Angie! Are you alright?"

    Angelique: "Yeah, I think so..."

    Mari: "I'm going to wring her neck!"

    Angelique: "No, it's fine, Mari, really. I guess she really wants to get into this restaurant!"

    Mari: "No, it's not fine. When someone attacks one of my employees, that someone also attacks me!"

    Angelique sighs. "Mari, please don't do anything to get yourself arrested."

    Mari: "Not to worry! I'm Mari McCabe! What's the worst that could happen?"

    Angelique: "Oh God, we're doomed!"

    Mari waves aside the comment and runs like a bull toward the woman who had shoved Angelique to the ground. Seconds later, Mari punches the woman INTO the restaurant.

    Mari: (standing over the woman, who is still laying on the restaurant floor) "Take a guess at which animal comes next."

    Woman 2: "I don't know."

    Mari: "Go on, guess."

    Woman 2: "Shrimp? Goose? Dragonfly?"

    Mari: "Nope. Horse."

    Mari raises her foot to stomp the woman in the stomach, but the woman catches Mari's foot and pulls her down to the floor. Then the woman gets on top of Mari and begins repeatedly punching her in the face.

    Woman 2: (as she continues pounding away on Mari's face) "Consider this a message from my employer. When she tells you to lay low, that's exactly what she means. No ifs, ands or buts about it. When she gives you an order, you obey. When she tells you to leave her boyfriend alone, she means it. Whenever you ignore her orders, you'll have me to deal with."

    Mari: "And who are you, exactly?"

    "Her name is Mukbang Gorge. Go on, Mukbang, show her your skill."

    Mari, even though she is still being punched in the face, manages to turn her head to see who has just spoken, and it is the same woman who had visited her earlier that morning at McCabe Unlimited!

    Mari: "And what's YOUR name? I didn't catch it earlier."

    Woman 1: "That's because I didn't throw it earlier. My name is One-Man-Amy, and I always mean what I say. Now, again: Mukbang, show Miss McCabe your skill."

    Mukbang Gorge begins grabbing handfuls of food from the buffet and stuffs the food down her throat. Seconds later, as she eats more food, the more her body begins to expand. Soon she is 800 pounds of fat and muscle.

    Mukbang Gorge: "What animal are you going to use against me now, Marilyn?"

    Angelique runs up to Mari.

    Angelique: "Hey, how did she get so big?"

    Mari: "By eating everything in sight. Angie, do me a favor and go back to the office. I'd feel a lot better if you were out of harm's way. Don't worry, I've got this."

    Angelique: "With her as big as she is now, I'll definitely leave this up to you. Feets, don't fail me now!"

    Mukbang Gorge watches Angelique run out of the restaurant.

    Mukbang Gorge: "Sure you don't want to run away as well, Mari?"

    Vixen: "I've got more than enough to handle you." She channels all the strength of a blue whale and punches Mukbang Gorge in the face, and Mukbang Gorge goes FLYING through the air and comes crashing down hard into a display case of desserts.

    Vixen: "Well, Mukbang Gorge, it looks like you've finally received your "just desserts!"

    The entire restaurant groans.

    Vixen: "Wow. Tough restaurant."

    Mukbang Gorge: "Vixen, you're a fool. While you're making terrible wisecracks, I'm still surrounded my food." Mukbang Gorge begins eating all of the desserts around her, and seconds later she begins to weigh 1,000 pounds.

    Mukbang Gorge: "I'm ready for Round 2, Vixen. This time, I'm gonna clean your clock REAL good."

    One-Man-Amy: "We can avoid any further pain on your end if you agree to lay low for the rest of your life, Vixen. Stop being stubborn."

    Vixen: "I don't do "laying low". Except for that one time. And for that other time, too. Not to mention that other time when...Okay, look, I don't lay low very often, alright?"

    One-Man-Amy shrugs. "Fine. Have it your way. Whenever you're ready, Mukbang."

    Mukbang Gorge shoves some more desserts down her throat as she plods toward Vixen. Vixen summons the strength of a blue whale again and tries to punch Mukbang Gorge but the heavy-set opponent dodges the punch and smacks Vixen hard across the face. Vixen responds by covering her entire body in armadillo armor and then kangaroo-kicking Mukbang Gorge in the chest.

    Mukbang Gorge: "Stop kicking me in my boobs." She grabs Vixen's armored head and tries to crush it, but she can't penetrate the armor. She punches Vixen, but Vixen doesn't even feel the blow through the armor. Mukbang Gorge frowns as Vixen proceeds to roll herself into an impenetrable armored ball. Then, still in her armored ball form, Vixen adds hummingbird to her attack strategy so that she hovers in mid-air. Before Mukbang Gorge can think of a way to attack Vixen's armor, Vixen flies forward and becomes a flying armored ball, a ball which hits Mukbang in the face with the combined weight of two elephants, two blue whales and two tyrannosaurus rexes.

    After Mukbang falls to the floor, stunned, Vixen removes her armadillo armor and rushes forward to open the heavy woman's mouth. Prying the woman's mouth open, Vixen takes various vegetables from the buffet and rams them down Mukbang's throat, in order to test out a theory. As soon as Mukbang swallows the vegetables, her body begins to shrink back to its normal size.

    One-Man-Amy: "What in the world is going on here!?"

    Vixen: "I'll tell you what's going on here. After I saw your stooge only eating junk food this entire time, I noticed she had been avoiding all of the vegetables. I was hoping that she would have some sort of negative reaction to them if she came into contact with them."

    One-Man-Amy runs over to Mukbang Gorge, who is wincing because her face is hurting.

    One-Man-Amy: "Mukbang, you had one job. One job!"

    Mukbang just groans, and One-Man-Amy whirls around to glare at Mari.

    One-Man-Amy: "You'll pay for this, Vixen!"

    Vixen: "Hey, yall came after ME! If you can't take the heat, stay out of the sauna."

    Suddenly a few police cars show up, and after some police officers run into the restaurant, they immediately start looking around for someone to arrest.

    Police Officer: "Vixen! What's going on here?"

    Vixen: "These two women came after me, so I defended myself."

    A restaurant patron runs up to the police officer. "It's true, Officer! I recorded the entire encounter on my cellphone!"

    After the police officers watch the footage, they agree that One-Man-Amy and Mukbang Gorge should be taken into custody. As One-Man-Amy has the cuffs slapped onto her wrists, a photo falls out of her pocket.

    Vixen: "Wait, what's this?" She picks up the photo.

    One Woman Amy: "That's Jamal, my boyfriend. He's the love of my life. He is my rock, my strength, my everything."

    As Vixen continues to stare at Jamal's photo, she realizes he is the most attractive man she has ever seen.

    And she wants him.
    Black Panther - Champion of Bast
    Vixen - Champion of Anansi

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